AN: So sorry guys! I'm sure I can never be forgiven for neglecting this fic to the point that people started getting nasty and I started to fear Instant Messenger. Special thanks to Bscrews (sorry if that isn't the name you go by) for e-mailing me to get my butt into gear.

Though I plead the case that I haven't been sitting on my hands all this time. I did post a one shot called, "Come Stop The Rain," a while ago, and I currently am working on two different fics that I plan to have all written before I start posting them. So none of you will ever have to wait this long again with any of my other fics. Gomen.

Disclaimer: I forget to do this sometimes. I also forget to water my plants. Sad, isn't it?

-SilverInochi

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Chapter 15: WARNING- Please Keep Your Speech in Normal English!

Hmmmmm.... dry-erase markers....

Ack! How long have you been sitting there?

Too long, I'm sure.

Well, thanks a lot. Now I have to explain to you why I'm thinking about Dry Erasies, don't I? Well, that's a rather long and complicated story that I'm going to tell you about anyway. So get comfy and let a woman who is being empowered by Bulma and couldn't think of any thing else to put in the book this month. Eeehhh.... so sue me. No one's perfect. Just don't tell our leader that...

Anyway, my Gohan recently got a phone call from the school he works for. It turns out, and I couldn't believe this either, that he'd been put on temporary suspension for rage and flat old grouchiness. He took on a bit of an attitude problem after I made him leave the bathroom. You'd think the man would be grateful. Next time, I'm going to take pictures and sell his naked ass to every tabloid within thirty miles.

So, Gohan's out of work. Still is, but at one point, he'd been kind enough to get a job. He'd offered to substitute for a sick Spanish teacher and teach a class of illiterate eighth graders. He'd allowed me to come along, to prove that I was wrong in saying that he and teens didn't march to the same drum beat. I would win this match, I knew it, and I think he did too... but he's a man, and they never admit to knowing about stuff like that. Not even my Gohan is perfect. But I think he's more perfect than our leader. I will murder you if you tell her.

So we arrived several minutes before the class, so Gohan could set up and I could myself set up in the back. I had the only chair with cushions in probably the whole school, a box of Kleenex, and sheets of paper to copy down the happenings of the day. Gohan stood up front, spanish teaching book in hand, practicing the opening phrase of the morning. "Clase de la buena mañana! Soy su nuevo profesor, Sr. Son. Quisiera que usted dijera hola a mi esposa, sentándose allí en la parte posteriora con el rectángulo de Kleenex."

The only word I caught in there was Kleenex, so I can't even be sure he said anything right. That's okay though, the kids in this class had a reputation for not paying attention in class, and it's likely they wouldn't give a damn anyway. So, I nodded and clapped my hands, "Good job, Gohan!"

His head shot up like a gun shot, "Videl," he said, in a tone I hadn't heard since Pan was a teenager, "Whatever you do, do not say that or clap your hands at all during my class today. Got it? Not once." He looked back down to his paper, shuffling them and mumbling a few other Spanish terms that I couldn't comprehend. I kinda stared at him from across the room, wondering who twisted his underwear in a knot.

"Why not, Gohan?" I asked, setting up my first Kleenex for the day. They were there because I had a cold... actually, I didn't even have a cold, but when Gohan started to get himself into big trouble, I would need a way to cover up my giggles and laugher. There's nothing better in that case than camo-cough. No one will have any idea that I'm laughing... they'll just think I'm choking on something.

I watched the clock intently. A few more minutes and they'd be here. The little rats would be entering the classroom and attacking the big cheese that is my husband. I suppose I should have felt bad for Gohan... but watch this kind of thing is so much fun. Kinda gives me power. You know, like the playground bully. I really do feel bad for the dork in the glasses, but beating him up even in his own game can be soooo rewarding.

The desks covered the floor of the room. There had to be at least 25 of them. They where the kind that looked like chairs with a tray attached to the front and a little shelf on the bottom. I noticed that most of them were broken. A shelf only had two poles or the tray sagged a bit lower than it should, in one of two cases, the chair itself was only on three legs. I could only come to two reasons for this, the school was either poor or cheap. I glanced up at the brand new dry erase board up front. The penny-pinchers.

At about nine the room flooded full of eighth graders. Some where tall, some were short. Some where so thin you could find a necklace around their waist, and some were so fat you'd be sure they were going to get stuck in the chair. They had hair of every color... blonde, brunette, red, orange, purple, blue... you name it, they had it. The boys wore baggy clothes. The girls all wore tight clothes. But they all looked at Gohan like a Giant Cockroach was going to teach them that day. And then a thought hit me.

They were going to skin him alive.

I sat back in my chair. It was probably going to be the longest day in Gohan's life. Perhaps, even, longer than Buu, or Cell, or any of those other boneheads. I always thought they were funny. I mean, they always blew into town with their cheeks puffed out like squirrels and their guts sucked in and would say, 'Ha. Ha. Ha ha. I am powerful. I am mighty. I am the super-duper mega ass of your greatest fears!' Then Gohan, or Trunks, or Goku, or Vegeta would eye them funny and promptly kick their ass. I mean, are there not flyers in space telling them it's not worth their time to even come here?

So there they stood. Staring at my husband and shaking their heads. They all turned and went to their seats, still shaking their heads. Gohan, I assume, took no notice of their actions, and broke out into his long speech in Spanish, "Clase de la buena mañana! Soy su nuevo profesor, Sr. Son. Quisiera que usted dijera hola a mi esposa, sentándose allí en la parte posteriora con el rectángulo de Kleenex."

I think everyone in the room, including me, lifted an eyebrow.

"Yo!" a kid called from the back of the room, "Mr. Google-Eyes. We're here to learn Spanish, not know it. Could you translate that to English for us? The only words I understood were sun and Kleenex. Care to elortate?"

"Elaborate?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Gohan said, shifting his weight. He'd obviously assumed that the students would know a little about spanish before they came to class. He must of found that they didn't as odd. I thought it was pretty funny to be truthful. He didn't seem to want to make a big long speech this time, because all he said was, "I'm your teacher today, I'm Mr. Son. My ball-and-chain is sitting in the back with a box of Kleenex."

Every eye in the room turned to me, and I waved my hand at them. The students all scooted closer to the one next to them and started whispering things like, 'He can't even leave the house without her...,' 'Must have a great sex life to bring his WIFE to work...,' and 'Is he going to bring his mom tomorrow?" I picked up a piece of Kleenex and promptly started to cough a little harder than I probably should have. I didn't want them to think Gohan couldn't leave me home when I was sick.

"Alright," Gohan said, picking up his teacher's manual, "So, what have you all learned already in this class?" He started to turn pages as the kids turned and stared dumbfounded at him, "Numbers, days of the week, months, basic sentences, I'm sure. How about verbs, er, ar, ir? Any of those yet?"

Of the girls rose her hand, "Sir," she said, "We know how to say the basic hello and one through five in Spanish. You are supposed to teach us otherwise. Our other teacher hates us, she's even given up on teaching us. We think she's faking sick. We've had five subs in the past two weeks."

"Oh boy."

I found myself coughing again. Today was going to be a bit more fun that I'd thought it would be. I would never have guessed how Gohan's next move would rear the rest of the day off track, down to ditch and mow the bitchy old lady who lives next to the tracks down to the hell she came from. Not very comforting to think about, is it?

He walked casually over to the cupboard, and opened the door. "Well, I'm not those teachers," he said, pulling out several different white boards and handing them out to various students. They all stared at them as if he'd just dropped dung into their laps and told them to eat it. He then took out a tub full of markers and handed the kids one each- not caring if one wanted some color over the other. This was Gohan's world, and you had to play by his rules. You know, sometimes being his wife has it's advantages.

So we sat with our little boards as Gohan sat at the top of the class and listed off the things he wanted the kids to write in Spanish on his little board. I, myself, didn't know many of the things he told us to write. I think towards the end he just started to give us long and complicated sentences. It wasn't like Gohan to not be very patient. Normally, the man had his wits about him, but not today. By the time the class was over, I had to go get the principal to go and kick Gohan out.

"You don't think I was harsh on those kids, do you?" he asked me later, leaning in over the stove as I cooked dinner, "I mean... I didn't hurt anyone, and no one started to cry... that's a good sign, right? It is Videl, right?"

"Gohan, you called a child the stupidest thing to ever crawl Earth, you shot a ki blast that nearly missed another kid, and you were just terrible to the another one... honestly... insulting his mother..." I shook my head and clicked my tongue as if to say he was some kind of terrible person. Truth be told, I would have done the exact same thing to that last brat...

"The kid practically asked me to do it, Videl!" he said, dancing around in front of me as if it would prove a point, "She said I was a wuss, and that I was stupid because I couldn't leave home without my wife... and Videl, she insulted my pants! She was practically wearing a blast me sign!"

I motioned for him to go to the dinning room and set the table while I set out to grab this book and write today down. The whole process was going wonderfully. I was very pleased to see Gohan losing his very brain that he prided himself and everything he'd worked so hard on to build. That was... until I heard a crash and found out that he'd blasted a hole through the wall because of a commercial....

But ehhh... what can you do?

-Videl Son

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Okay dudes and dudettes. The next chappy is Veggie and Bulma, isn't it? Be prepared for some wet and wild fun... I kid you not ^.~

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-Ino