AN: Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I, you know, posted. But here is a newer chapter. And more good news for all you ladies, I left you a bit of 'I'm-SO-sorry' candy! I'd kill to be Pan this chapter.

Disclaimer: I disclaim this. I also disclaim the songs by Beyonce and Conway Twitty.

Chapter 16: Warning- Run, Do Not Walk, By the Pool!

I suppose that as our time in the festival started to draw to a close, I might have started to get the feeling that Vegeta was getting a bit. oh, edgy. I admit I was a bit disappointed when I started to dance around the kitchen in my tube top dress and mid-thigh super whore boots and he didn't bat an eyelash. But two hours later I found the remainder of his favorite reclining chair.

I felt so special.

But my first major clue that Vegeta was starting to lose it was the day I told him about the party I wanted to plan. His face seemed to change from its usual purplish-red tint to a strangely ashen color when I mentioned the fact that it was a pool party. Apparently he didn't appreciate the brand-new pink and silver metallic bikini I bought. I don't know why, normally he likes shiny things.

Maybe that's why.

Yes, I am evil.

BWAHAHA!

Anyhow, the girls loved the idea. Well, actually, ChiChi was a bit nasty herself, and the idea of a metallic bikini didn't seem to rub her the right way. Videl stuttered a bit, and then I heard a squeak and a thud, so her opinion was up in the air. Pan and Bra were all for it though. Which tells you one thing. I don't think I even need to say it.

So we had the party. Vegeta was reluctant to leave our room at first. So I let the guests arrive until I could use the fact that Goku was brave enough to show up against him. The funny part was, once I got outside to the party, I saw all the guys along the fence gripping it as tight as they could. On the other side of the yard were my fellow female manhood-murders, all fully clothed and grinning across the pool at their husbands.

"I don't think I can do this much longer," I heard Goten say, turning his head in the middle to look at Trunks.

Gohan seemed to be talking out the corner of his mouth, "Don't give in to them, Goten. You are a warrior. We can beat them. Damn it, we can beat Buu and Cell, we can stand up to our wives."

"Oh really, and how is your rubber ducky doing, Gohan?"

"Shut up, Goten," Gohan murmured, slowly closing his eyes. "At least I didn't think a zit was a-"

"Say it and die!"

Then the screen door to the house opened. Out floated Vegeta, pink fluffy robe and all. He stripped from the garment, leaving him in nothing but a thong, and walking in a proud yet oddly, cocky manner. Every woman in the place was staring. Hell, even I was staring, and I'd seen those perfectly chiseled butt cheeks up close.

There was mixed reaction on the man side of the pool.

"Meeeeeoooooooowww! Vegeta!" Goku called, smirking in a very non- Goku manner, "Are you feeling PRETTY? PRETTY AND WITTY AND-"

"GAY!" Goten and Gohan chorused together.

Trunks' eyes, however, were completely covered by his hands, and he kept muttering over and over, "My father's in a thong. I'm going to need therapy for the rest of my life."

"Alright ladies! GRAB YOUR MAN!" I called, and they were off in a flash. ChiChi practically walked on water to get over to Goku, grabbing him tightly by the ear and hoisting him off to one end of the pool. Videl turned red as a radish and tugged on Gohan's arm, to the side opposite of ChiChi and Gohan. Pan walked straight up to Trunks, groped something in front of him (he whimpered and said, "I am your slave, master!") and had him follow her to the left side of the pool. Bra got Goten going somehow (it would be shameful for me to tell you), and they occupied the only remaining side.

"Put your man on the pool side of you," I said, standing before a lawn chair with a stereo at my side, they all did as told. "Ready?" I called, all the women nodded, "You have four minutes and twelve seconds!" I paused for effect and then called the death decree, "Strip them!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

I flipped the switch that started, "Crazy in Love," by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z. And they were off.

Goku laughed, seemingly happy that he was married to ChiChi and not someone like Bra. Just because while Tae ChiChi wasn't a threatening deal to a man wearing jeans over his swim trunks, the Super Stripper I'd trained ChiChi into being behind his back was. Did I mention I was evil?

And it almost brought a tear to my eye when ChiChi reached around and scooped those adorable Saiya-jin cheeks into her hands. Goku's face immediately dove into the crook between her shoulder and neck, and ChiChi's face turned to the sky as though she were praying to Dende to forgiveness.

She tucked her thumb under the upper hem of his blue jeans, tugging at them a bit. Goku's back arched back, obviously not expecting this. She put the other one around to join it, and they both traveled their respective sides to meet together at the front button. I could see Goku shaking a bit. The look on ChiChi's face was priceless as she unbuttoned the copper button, and then started gliding the zipper up and down several times. And just as Goku looked like his knees were about to cave, she got to her knees and slowly tugged on each side until his jeans were all the way off.

Then she moved on to his shirt.

Now, my Trunks was never one to give up a fight. Sure, he usually didn't feel like participating in general, but this was the type of fight he'd never lost before. True to form, I found him and Pan grinding their hips together, her hand clinging tight to the front of his jeans, him clinging tighter to the front of hers. Pan had his t-shirt in hand, twisted to it looked like some kind of cloth log, twirling around her head like a lasso.

So she inched closer up his leg.

Then she stopped moving her hips, running her hands over his shoulders, then down his chest. Trunks wasn't embarrassed to throw his head back, and for a moment I began to wonder exactly how many times they'd actually done this. In what looked like one movement that took about a second, his pants were unhooked. She slowly pulled down the zipper, almost notch by notch. I heard Trunks growl and grab her hips, pulling her closer.

She too, sunk to her knees. She stuck out her tongue and ran it along the waistline of his swim trunks, and then pulled off his pants. Inch by inch. It almost made me wonder when my son and his wife had become bona fide sex maniacs.

I'd never seen Gohan go that shade of red before. I'll be honest here; I'd never seen anyone turn that shade of red before. He was standing stiff as a grouchy Vegeta, getting redder and redder every time Videl brushed a finger onto his body. His pants from before had completely disappeared. Videl looked just as determined to get the shirt off and finish the deal before anyone saw what they were done. Tells you what they must be like in bed.

No wonder Pan's an only child.

But it looked like Bra and Goten where the most into it. Not only was she stripping him, but also he, in turn, was stripping her. She came close to him and licked behind his ear, purring a bit as she pulled up on his shirt. Goten grinned in the way only a man could. She stepped back a bit and tugged it all the way off, revealing the body both genetics and serious Goku-induced training had given him. He then placed his hands gently on her hips, turning her around. He crossed his arms over her front, gripping the front of her shirt, and pulling it over her head.

So I stepped back and admired my work well done. I didn't get to strip Vegeta. I'd simply thrown out his trunks and put the thong there in its place. He'd have probably maimed me if I made him do any of this.

Then the final bit of the song came in, closing the whole deal. All at once, the wives shoved the four men lining the pool into the water. Gohan recovered right away, swimming around. Goku floated to the top on his back, grinning with satisfaction. Trunks came up trashing like a mad man. Goten just popped up looking totally rejected.

"Just cooling you off Goten," Bra said, shrugging her shoulders.

Pan was in nothing but her bikini now, watching her husband with a raised eyebrow. Trunks was looking like he'd never come into contact with water before, and the by the feel he believed that he would dissolve into nothing. She didn't seem to get it either, "What are you doing, Trunks?"

"I can't swim!"

"Then grab onto the side of the pool."

"Give me your hand, help me out of here!" he pleaded.

Pan shook her head and bent over, offering her hand, "Honestly, how could you not know how to swim if you have a pool in your backyAAAAARRRRRRDDDDD!"

Trunks pulled her in with him. Who didn't see that one coming?

She resurfaced, pushing her hair out of her face, and glaring at Trunks, who was now treading water perfectly. "I thought you said you couldn't swim!" she said, shoving water in his face.

He shrugged and smiled, "Well, I have always been a fast learner!"

She growled and moved towards the ladder, stepping up onto it, hoisting herself out, taking a moment to snap the bottom of her bathing suit in his face, and then stepping onto the pavement. Trunks glared at her as she glided past, he seriously pissed and she seriously proud of herself.

An hour or two later I'd bargained with the guys. We'd go inside and put on clothing that revealed nothing, for their own safety, if they gave us approvable entertainment by-you guessed it, karaoke machine. I figured it would be fun, because none of them could carry a tune in a bucket and Gohan and Vegeta seemed to share their fear of public performance.

Their first mistake was letting Goten choose the song. He picked some country song, with a real redneck banjo sound to it. Though one could easily hear what the beat of the song was supposed to represent. Totally a song sung by a male artist.

So Trunks grabbed the mike, grabbing the belt on his jeans that had been newly reapplied. He moved his hips from side to side that could only symbolize one thing. Again, only something that could be thought up by a man, "There's a lot of ways of sayin' what I wanna say to you," he sang in a tone that could make the local birds go deaf, "there are songs and poems and promises and dreams that might come true," he did a little bit of a spin, "but I won't talk of starry skies or moonlight on the ground, I'll just come right out and tell ya," he fell to one knee and put a hand to his chest, "I'd just love to lay ya down!"

Goten grabbed the mike from him, taking a minute or two to get off beat and try to get back on task, moving from side to side not unlike a class nerd, "I,. uhhh. Oh! Lay you down and softly wishper, pretty love words in your ear." he squinted at the screen, "lay you. down, and uhhh. tell you all the things my woman loves to hear." He returned to his side- side moves, "I'd let you know how much it means, having you around," he stuck the mike in the air while his head went back like a rock star, "And darlin' how I'd love to lay you down!"

Goku fumbled with the mike a minute, "There's so many ways your sweet love has turned this house into a home," he jumped up and down, totally off beat, "you got a way of doing little things that turn me on," now he shook his hips in circles, again, totally off beat, "like standing in the kitchen, in that faded cotton gown," his hand went behind his head, with the circle continued, "with your hair all up in curlers I'd still love to lay you down!"

Gohan shoved him off the stage, unable to take anymore, "Lay you down and softly whisper," he said, not sang, said, in a very monotone voice, "pretty love words in your ear. Lay you down," he decided to drag this word on, I assume because he didn't care for the subject at hand, "and tell you all the things my woman loves to hear. I'd let you know, how much it means. having you around. And darling I'd just love to lay you down."

Then Vegeta pranced onto the stage, falling onto one knee like his son, belted the last verse like he was good at it or something, "When a whole lot of Decembers are showing in your face," he shook his head for effect, "your turquoises hair has faded and silver takes its place," he stood up and did the most painful looking hip jerks, "You'll be just as lovely, and I'll still be around," his hand went behind his head too, "and if I can I know I'd still love to lay you down!"

And then the five of them came together like one of those 1920's groups, snapping their fingers and stepping from side to side. Of course, they were all off beat, and they made the chorus even more ugly than it was before.

They all smiled, proud of themselves. I looked down at my fellow huntresses, lifted my glasses and asked, "You okay with that ladies?"

Videl sighed, "We guess."

Bra and Pan stood up, and Pan muttered something about how it was more painful to watch and hear than menstrual cramps.

It was, it really was.

-Bulma Briefs