Willow woke up in the middle of the night, Buffy was sleeping in the bed
next to hers, and a soft wind was coming through the open dorm window.
Something was nagging Willow, something that she couldn't quite make out. It was like she had forgotten something, like she had to do something that very instant . . . but she couldn't remember what it was.
Willow sat up in bed and thought hard, she knew that she couldn't sleep until she did what she had to do. She thought back, tried to remember something, but nothing came.
She retraced the day in her mind, she had gotten up, went to class, came back to the room to study, went to see Giles, found a picture of Miss Calendar in the living room, came home, tried to contact Miss. Calendar . . . but that hadn't worked, she hadn't felt anything, she hadn't sensed anything, the spell was a failure. Maybe she had to try it again, maybe Jenny was pleading to make contact and Willow could feel the invisible words travelling through parallel dimensions.
Quickly, Willow pushed back the covers and got out of bed. She moved quickly and silently, determined to make the spell work this time. She opened the trunk at the bottom of her bed and pulled out a bag of herbs and several candles, matches.
She moved to the bathroom and spread out the candles in a circle, she would need a circle of protection this time, this time she would case Miss Calendar to appear, make her spirit make a quick stop to say 'hello'.
Taking the herbs out of the bag and sprinkling it on her head and then over the candles, Willow began chanting:
"Those we love have passed, but they have not passed far. Come to me my friend, come and speak. Miss Jenny Calendar is the one I seek, Miss Jenny Calendar is the one that I need to see. Come, come."
Willow had closed her eyes during the spell, concentrating on seeing Miss Calendar again, forcing herself to imagine her standing right in front of her, right outside the circle of candles. She wasn't sure what would happen in the spell had worked correctly, all she felt was a soft breeze ruffle her hair. Slowly, she opened her eyes and gasped out loud, knocking over a candle in her momentary shock. The remainder of the candles were extinguished simultaneously.
There stood Jenny Calendar, staring down at Willow. But her expression didn't see to fit the joyous reunion, Jenny was frowning.
"Miss Calendar?"
"Willow."
"So . . . how are you doing?" Willow was grasping for words, she couldn't think of what to say to a spirit that she had just summoned. She knew she should have thought of something to say previous to the spell.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Understand what?"
"Understand how I was, it's a little more complicated than feeling happy or sad, but now that I'm back in contact with this world, I am starting to remember what it felt like to be mortal. I remember the pain and the fear and the--"
"How about the love you felt for Giles, uh, Rupert Giles, the librarian the Sunnydale High were you worked?" Willow asked, not wanting the grim list to continue, she was well acquainted with all of those horrid emotions.
"Rupert Giles, the librarian." Jenny said thoughtfully. "Yes . . . love, I remember. But then there was the hatred . . . the anger--"
"NO! He's not still mad at you! He's not, he's not mad anymore! He loves you and misses you and feels bad for being angry with you when you died."
Jenny shook her head, "Why am I here? Why would you pull me from my rest?"
"To tell Giles that you love him, so he won't be so sad anymore."
"Love? I'm incapable of love anymore, emotions are mere memories to me now. Nothing matters, not love, not fear, not pain, not joy, nothing matters when you die." Jenny replied coldly.
Willow stared in shock and shook her head. "I'm sorry, disperse." She tried to end the spell, to send Jenny back to where she had been. But it didn't work, Jenny didn't fade, didn't disappear, nothing happened. "Disperse!" Nothing happened.
"Send me back now, I don't want to be here in this place of feeling, emotions are too complicated, I don't want them!" Jenny screamed, noticing the failure of Willow's words.
"Disperse!" Nothing happened.
"Oh no," Willow groaned. Another spell gone wrong. Was she ever going to get the hang of this stuff? "Look, I think I need to do some more research," she said to Jenny, who was looking sort of bereft where she stood. "I know someone, a pretty powerful wicca who might be able to help out. Can you stay here while I try to figure this out with her?" she asked.
"I suppose that I will have to, won't I Willow?" Jenny said. Willow could hear the censure in her old teacher's voice and winced. She would just about give anything for this not to have happened. The next best thing would be for her to fix all of this out before Giles or any of the others found out.
Buffy!
"You can't stay here and wait though!" she said urgently. "Buffy will be back soon, and..."
"Would you prefer me to sit in the closet while I wait for you to come back?" Jenny said ironically.
Willow looked at her carefully, trying to gauge the sort of tone and how she should react to it. In the end, she just bowed her head.
"I won't be long. And then maybe I can get you to this friend of mine's room without Buffy ever being the wiser. But for now..." She didn't know how to end that sentence.
"For now the closet shall be my refuge." Jenny turned away before Willow could see her face this time, and stepped into the closet.
"I won't be long," Willow repeated, standing there a moment longer, before turning and fleeing to the library where she was sure she'd find Tara.
Halfway to the library, she felt a slight dizziness that she just passed off as nerves and pushed aside. Minutes later, as she stood in front of the library doors, she passed out.
Something was nagging Willow, something that she couldn't quite make out. It was like she had forgotten something, like she had to do something that very instant . . . but she couldn't remember what it was.
Willow sat up in bed and thought hard, she knew that she couldn't sleep until she did what she had to do. She thought back, tried to remember something, but nothing came.
She retraced the day in her mind, she had gotten up, went to class, came back to the room to study, went to see Giles, found a picture of Miss Calendar in the living room, came home, tried to contact Miss. Calendar . . . but that hadn't worked, she hadn't felt anything, she hadn't sensed anything, the spell was a failure. Maybe she had to try it again, maybe Jenny was pleading to make contact and Willow could feel the invisible words travelling through parallel dimensions.
Quickly, Willow pushed back the covers and got out of bed. She moved quickly and silently, determined to make the spell work this time. She opened the trunk at the bottom of her bed and pulled out a bag of herbs and several candles, matches.
She moved to the bathroom and spread out the candles in a circle, she would need a circle of protection this time, this time she would case Miss Calendar to appear, make her spirit make a quick stop to say 'hello'.
Taking the herbs out of the bag and sprinkling it on her head and then over the candles, Willow began chanting:
"Those we love have passed, but they have not passed far. Come to me my friend, come and speak. Miss Jenny Calendar is the one I seek, Miss Jenny Calendar is the one that I need to see. Come, come."
Willow had closed her eyes during the spell, concentrating on seeing Miss Calendar again, forcing herself to imagine her standing right in front of her, right outside the circle of candles. She wasn't sure what would happen in the spell had worked correctly, all she felt was a soft breeze ruffle her hair. Slowly, she opened her eyes and gasped out loud, knocking over a candle in her momentary shock. The remainder of the candles were extinguished simultaneously.
There stood Jenny Calendar, staring down at Willow. But her expression didn't see to fit the joyous reunion, Jenny was frowning.
"Miss Calendar?"
"Willow."
"So . . . how are you doing?" Willow was grasping for words, she couldn't think of what to say to a spirit that she had just summoned. She knew she should have thought of something to say previous to the spell.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Understand what?"
"Understand how I was, it's a little more complicated than feeling happy or sad, but now that I'm back in contact with this world, I am starting to remember what it felt like to be mortal. I remember the pain and the fear and the--"
"How about the love you felt for Giles, uh, Rupert Giles, the librarian the Sunnydale High were you worked?" Willow asked, not wanting the grim list to continue, she was well acquainted with all of those horrid emotions.
"Rupert Giles, the librarian." Jenny said thoughtfully. "Yes . . . love, I remember. But then there was the hatred . . . the anger--"
"NO! He's not still mad at you! He's not, he's not mad anymore! He loves you and misses you and feels bad for being angry with you when you died."
Jenny shook her head, "Why am I here? Why would you pull me from my rest?"
"To tell Giles that you love him, so he won't be so sad anymore."
"Love? I'm incapable of love anymore, emotions are mere memories to me now. Nothing matters, not love, not fear, not pain, not joy, nothing matters when you die." Jenny replied coldly.
Willow stared in shock and shook her head. "I'm sorry, disperse." She tried to end the spell, to send Jenny back to where she had been. But it didn't work, Jenny didn't fade, didn't disappear, nothing happened. "Disperse!" Nothing happened.
"Send me back now, I don't want to be here in this place of feeling, emotions are too complicated, I don't want them!" Jenny screamed, noticing the failure of Willow's words.
"Disperse!" Nothing happened.
"Oh no," Willow groaned. Another spell gone wrong. Was she ever going to get the hang of this stuff? "Look, I think I need to do some more research," she said to Jenny, who was looking sort of bereft where she stood. "I know someone, a pretty powerful wicca who might be able to help out. Can you stay here while I try to figure this out with her?" she asked.
"I suppose that I will have to, won't I Willow?" Jenny said. Willow could hear the censure in her old teacher's voice and winced. She would just about give anything for this not to have happened. The next best thing would be for her to fix all of this out before Giles or any of the others found out.
Buffy!
"You can't stay here and wait though!" she said urgently. "Buffy will be back soon, and..."
"Would you prefer me to sit in the closet while I wait for you to come back?" Jenny said ironically.
Willow looked at her carefully, trying to gauge the sort of tone and how she should react to it. In the end, she just bowed her head.
"I won't be long. And then maybe I can get you to this friend of mine's room without Buffy ever being the wiser. But for now..." She didn't know how to end that sentence.
"For now the closet shall be my refuge." Jenny turned away before Willow could see her face this time, and stepped into the closet.
"I won't be long," Willow repeated, standing there a moment longer, before turning and fleeing to the library where she was sure she'd find Tara.
Halfway to the library, she felt a slight dizziness that she just passed off as nerves and pushed aside. Minutes later, as she stood in front of the library doors, she passed out.
