by
C. "Sparky" Read
Chapter Two
"I hate this place." Quackerjack clutched Mr. Banana Brain protectively while keeping a watchful eye on the denizens of the bar. "It's so...unclean."
Megavolt ignored his companion's complaints. "We're doomed," he moaned into his coffee. "We're dead. Negaduck's gonna kill us. He is. How are we gonna make it without our powers?" Then he paused, and glowered at Quackerjack, who was removing an unidentifiable object from the bar in front of him with a pencil. "Waitaminute, what am I saying 'we' for? You don't even have any powers!"
Quackerjack looked up. "Hey!" he exclaimed, offended. "Don't get all uppity with me. Negaduck took all my stuff before he made you drain your battery. Besides, I get along just fine without superpowers. I have other skills."
"Oh, what, you mean jumping around like a loaded kangaroo rat?" Megavolt didn't wait for a response. "We are, without a doubt, dead."
Quackerjack sighed heavily. "We probably are," he grudgingly agreed. "Without our gimmicks, we're all washed up. No one will take us seriously."
A chair sailed over the heads of the two ex-gang members to smash loudly against the wall.
Megavolt whirled around. "Hey!" he yelled at the towering, burly canine who had hurled the chair. "Can you keep it down? I'm trying to think!" He stopped short upon taking note of the thug's enormity. "Uh oh."
Quackerjack gasped, and clutched Megavolt's arm fearfully. "Megavolt!" he hissed. "Are you trying to get us killed? Don't you know it isn't safe practice to argue with someone who outweighs you by half a ton?"
But to their surprise, the thug actually cowered in fear. "S-Sorry, Mr. Megavolt, Mr. Quackerjack," he stammered, backing off. "I didn't see yous sittin' dere...A tousand pardons." And with that he scurried off to a far corner of the bar.
"Well that was unusual." Quackerjack scratched his head.
"Yeah," Megavolt agreed. "Why would he be afraid of us?"
"Probably because you're both members of the most dangerous gang in St. Canard."
Quackerjack and Megavolt blinked at Mr. Banana Brain in surprise.
"He's right!" exclaimed Megavolt, slapping his forehead. "I knew there was a reasonUh, Quacky, you there?"
Quackerjack, who had begun staring off into space, brightened suddenly. "A gang!" he cried, grabbing Megavolt by the shoulders and shaking him like a rag doll. "We need a gang! That's how we'll do it!"
"Huh? What?" Megavolt frowned in confusion as his plug hat slipped over his eyes. "What are we doing?"
Quackerjack released Megavolt, who had to clutch frantically at the counter to keep from falling off of his barstool. "We'll get together a gang of the best non-superpowered criminals around to help us pull off the heist!" explained the jester excitedly. "That'll show Negaduck what we can do!"
"Non-superpowered criminals, huh?" Megavolt frowned skeptically. "Like who?"
Quackerjack considered. "Remember that time last month, when Moliarty tried to collapse the entire city by digging all those tunnels, and the plan failed, and Moliarty was forced to go topside by the rest of the moles?"
"No."
Quackerjack rolled his eyes. "You need to get a new TV set, Megs."
"Hey, the last one tried to kill me. Call me paranoid." Megavolt shrugged. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with your TV."
"Well, whatever." Quackerjack leaned in conspiratorially. "I know Moliarty's web page addy. We can go there and track him down. He'll want to join our gang for sure, so he can rejoin the Mole Alliance, or whatever they call themselves." The jester stood up. "Come onWe'll use the computer at your place."
"I thought you hated my place. I thought you said it smelled like an army of bubonic rats died in there."
"I do. It does. But you've got a faster modem."
"True enough."
They wandered outside and climbed into Megavolt's car. Megavolt started to put his finger to the ignition, stopped, then grudgingly retrieved the key from his pocket. Being grounded was turning out to be a real drag. But either way, Megavolt got the car started and soon he had launched it, tires and Quackerjack screaming, into oncoming traffic.
After first glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Negaduck dove head-first into a mailbox. Seconds later, he poked his head out and glanced around again.
Idiots, he thought darkly to himself, and he lovingly fingered the detonator. Well, they would be out of his feathers soon enough.
Going ninety-eight miles an hour, it took only forty-five seconds to reach Megavolt's apartment. Megavolt jumped the curb and flattened an unsuspecting mailbox.
"Tampering with the mail is a serious offense, you know," commented Quackerjack as he climbed shakily out of the car.
"Oh yeah?" returned Megavolt, switching on the car alarm. "Next thing you know, there'll be a law against tearing the tags off of mattresses! Come on, let's go, I need coffee."
Negaduck crawled, gasping, out of the decimated mailbox with some difficulty. "Say bye-bye, morons," he whispered hoarsely, and gleefully jammed his thumb down on the detonator's button.
"All I'm saying," Quackerjack went on as they climbed the stairs, "is that keeping dirty socks in your fruit bowl isn't sanitary."
"Hey," argued Megavolt, reaching for the doorknob, "I'll keep my apartment any way I please!"
Violent tremors, accompanied by a loud booming noise, consumed the apartment building. Megavolt opened his door anyway. He and Quackerjack impassively surveyed the rubble that was once Megavolt's living room in silence for a moment.
"You redecorated," said Quackerjack at last, and he sniffed tentatively. "Is that a new air freshener?"
Megavolt frowned at the gaping hole that now dominated the room's floor. "Did you ever play 'Pitfall'?"
Quackerjack blinked at the melted mass of silicone that bubbled noisily from a charred desk. "Gee Megs, it looks like its time for an upgrade." The duck shrugged. "Let's just go to my place," he suggested. "I at least have four walls."
"You've always got to find a fault, haven't you?"
Negaduck, his hat crumpled and his cape torn, stood on the corner and watched Megavolt's electric car head uptown. A minor setback. He'd get them. Those two were going to be drywall if he had anything to say about it.
