Back To Basics
by
C. "Sparky" Read

Chapter Seven

"How did you find out about this place, Quacky?"

Quackerjack shrugged at Megavolt. "Hey every college student's got to have a hangout."

Moliarty blinked. "This is a 'Bombs 'n Stuff'."

"Yeahpretty great, huh?"

Tuskernini sniffed haughtily. "My dear fellows," he grumped, "I am an actor of the highest calibre. I do not use..." He wrinkled his nose in distaste, "such crude props!"

Quackerjack was miffed. "Hey, these aren't crude!" he protested. "They'rethey're uh..."

"Wow these are cool!" shouted Megavolt, rummaging through a clearance bin. "A two for one sale!"

"Yes indeedy!" chirped a portly saleswoman, appearing out of nowhere at Gumbo's elbow. "That bin is very popular with our favorite customer!" And she gestured towards a framed photo of Negaduck labeled 'Preferred Customer of the Year'. "He just left, actually."

"Negaduck was here?" Quackerjack frowned. "We'd better hurry. Ok, uh, give us two Big Boppers, three Richters, and one Boss."

"Would you like those shipped, sir?"

"We're in a bit of a hurry," explained Megavolt. "Better just gift-wrap them."

"Woo-ee, we be packin' some real strong stuff," whistled Jake as they walked back outside. Quackerjack absently stuffed the gift-wrapped explosives up his voluminous sleeves.

"What's Step Two in your...illustrious plan, gentlemen?" Tuskernini inquired.

"Step Two: we find out what big scheme F.O.W.L. is planning next, and get there first," answered Megavolt, walking to his car, which they had managed to recover from the impound lot. They had also managed to swipe the windshield from another car and stick it more or less in place.

"We'll page Moliarty with the directions," concluded Quackerjack, sliding into the passenger seat.

So they parted ways. Jake, Gumbo, Tuskernini, the three penguins, and Moliarty squeezed into the sedan (you can imagine), and they drove off. Megavolt and Quackerjack headed for the nearby University of St. Canard campus.

"What do you mean seven dollars for parking?" Quackerjack demanded of the campus gate securityman. "That's preposterous!"

Megavolt threw about a pound of quarters at the booth window and stamped on the gas. "Don't complain!" he hissed. "Do you want to call attention to ourselves?"

After parking the bright yellow, red and blue electric car in Lot One, they got out and headed for the West Computer Lab.

Quackerjack hmphed at the lab's throwback equipment. "With what people pay to go here you'd think they'd have some decent stuff."

Megavolt poked Quackerjack in the arm. "Hey!" he said, pointing to a sign. "We have to show student ID to use this place."

"I got it covered." Quackerjack sidled up to the workstudy student at the front desk. "Here you go," he said, producing two USC ID cards from his back pocket.

The student took them without looking. "Terminals 6 and 7," he said, turning the page in his roleplaying game manual.

"Whose IDs did you give him?" Megavolt wanted to know as they headed for their assigned computers.

"Well one was mine," answered the clown, "and the other was one I picked up accidentally at a frat party. Your name is now Rosalita Carmen Espirita Smith."

"Swell." They sat down and tapped their keyboards. "This is what you give me to work with?" Megavolt grumped as the screen saver struggled to switch off.

Quackerjack shrugged. "Now you see why I never felt the need to repay my student loans," he said.

"All right, all right." Megavolt went to work hacking into the F.O.W.L. mainframe. It took a while, but finally he managed to intercept an email from High Command, a message to Steelbeak titled: 'Do This Now.'

"Got it," said Megavolt, hitting 'Print.' "Let's ride."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Darkwing scowled.

What a week he was having! First his parade was ruined, then he got blamed for the fiasco at the St. Canard International Airport, then those lunatics led him on a wild goose chase down to the bijou, where one of Launchpad's famous crashes caused him to miss them again just as they were leaving. He didn't know what they were up to, but one thing was clear: If he ever caught up with them they'd be very sorry.

"DW! DW!" cried Launchpad from below Darkwing's high-rise computer workstation.

"Not now, LP, I'm stewing."

"But DW," Launchpad pressed, "Megavolt and Quackerjack are at the University of St. Canard campus!"

"What?"

"They're on TV right now."

Darkwing jumped down and ran to the television. The campus media club was filming one of their members in front of the campus mascot, a statue of a duck in Roman armor. A crowd of students were making ninnies of themselves for the camera in the background. Megavolt and Quackerjack, however, were dangling from the statue and attempting to toss water bombs upon the speaker, spurred on by the occasional cheer from the crowd.

"Well what are we waiting for?" demanded Darkwing, jumping onto the Ratcatcher, which had seen better days. "Let's go!"