TITLE: As It Is Only[4/6]
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave
FANDOM: Smallville
PAIRING: Lex Luthor/Clark Kent.
RATING: R
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for the reviews and emails! Now, to address a continuing theme: eh-hem, of course I will finish this fic. Where on Earth would anyone get the idea that I would do anything less?!? [;P / :)] BTW, I do have strenuous apologies for those I have kept waiting.
AUTHOR'S EMAIL: nymph_du_pave@hotmail.com
As It Is Only
By Nymph Du Pave
I slammed the truck door, angry and lucky by a long-shot that I had had the forethought to control my strength. There were people around.
"You're just making this more difficult than it has to be, Clark." I heard Pete's rapid footsteps as he struggled to follow me. He really was so loyal. With everything that my negligence had done, all the stress it had added... My single-minded crave to save those more helpless had thrown him into countless situations that could have cost him his life. And he still refuses to let me throw a game here, or pay for a movie there.
Frustrating, but loyal.
"She won't talk to me, so fine. I won't talk to her. I don't play these stupid, bullshit games."
"You do with Lex." I opened the library door too hard and heard a squeak. Lex... Yes, Lex. I did a lot with Lex that I normally wouldn't do with others, forgave more than I usually forgave. Dreamed more than I usually dreamed. That relationship was no where near on par with anything else I knew. Nothing was even nearing the course.
And it was impossible to explain. "That's different, Pete. He's a busy millionaire. I can't exactly expect myself to be that high up on his priorities."
I knew that Pete sensed the hurt through the sarcasm because he said nothing until we sat down. "Clark, man, she's practically your girlfriend."
"And is it worth it? No."
Pete looked at me, clearly exasperated. "You've been after her for how long now? And you're not willing to work it out over a little-"
"She's a control freak." I could feel the stares of strangers and forced my volume down a couple of notches. "You with your own little brand of chilvery might think that the woman always comes first in the relationship. You don't like to fight just to make peace. You'd fall right into her hands, do exactly what she wants you to do just to make her happy."
"And, as the man who loves her, that would be my main concern."
I bit my lip. Maybe he was right. If I truly loved her maybe I would be able to put up with this shit. But nobody should have to. If she truly loved me, would she change her ways for me. "I'm sick of all of the double standards in our relationship. It's all, in her mind, up to her. And I can't deal with a control freak."
"You could with, Lex."
This time Pete was wrong and I was angry that he made everything about Lex even more than I tended to. "Lex always tried to control the situation." I shook my head. "Never me".
It was Pete's turn to stare in silence. He was surely pissed that, after all my longing and waiting, I couldn't make my perfect woman and our perfect relationship come to fruition.
"It's not worth it." Pete was issuing a statement in a tone that sounded like stupid awe. "Six years, all through high school, man! And it's not worth it?"
"No."
He shook his head, pissed and looked down at his menu. I knew that he would eventually forgive what he saw as imcompetence and unbelievability. "Then tell her." He pushed himself back from the table, settling into the chair and staring at our waitress as she approached us, the pop of her gum breaking the silence between his demand and my reply.
"I intend to."
