TITLE: As It Is Only[6/6]
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave
FANDOM: Smallville
PAIRING: Lex Luthor/Clark Kent.
RATING: R
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay. So, now that I'm done posting this one, guess I should start getting ready for the ending of 'Neverland'... Hopefully the middle of next week.
AUTHOR'S EMAIL: nymph_du_pave@hotmail.com
As It Is Only
By Nymph Du Pave
It was the part where the female cop repositioned the gun in the robber's hand, giving it to the victim of the robbery. Since time had been frozen in the book, it had felt as if it were also here and now, frozen and I was alone in the world. It was just me, Harry and his partner that moved and breathed in the split second that the world had parted.
That's why the knock had scared the ever living shit out of me. And only Koontz was really good enough to impart a since of internal link with the characters so deep you felt as though, at times, you breathed with them. And normally nothing could drag my attention completely away.
Normally.
Lex entered the room and the adventures that I had currently been reading about flew from my mind, lost to the fact that, really I'd read Dragon Tears only about a million times and Lex, well, Lex... I hadn't seen nor spoken to him in almost two whole years.
Time flies when you're not paying attention.
Pete stood up at the other end of our dorm room and, looking back and forth between us, made his soundless escape from the land of uncomfortable bystanders. Now there was only Chewy, his poor pet rat, to hear and feel and really, Chewy was doing fine with his distraction. Sleep.
"Etiquette requires that we spend about half an hour on meaningless chit-chat before we get to the point."
I nodded. "Really?"
"I was never one for etiquette though."
"I know. So... The point would be?" I asked, my throat suddenly very dry, my heart thumping like a millon race horses on green. These sensations were very familiar. Had these been the sensations that I had once had myself convinced were meaningless?
I was once a lot more gullible.
Lex's cool eyes surveyed me carefully. "You tell me."
Suddenly I knew, I knew that if I passed this off as another game, as another friendly chemistry 'thing' between me and Lex, if I ignored the sensations that were multiplying by the millisecond...
I would lose him if I didn't react with the right sense of honestly. And this time I know I would lose him forever. He would never again drop by because he'd just used up his well of courage as far as our friendship, our love had once gone, and he's used it up walking through my door. He located me, entered my domain and set up the conversation.
It was up to me to take it in the right direction. Without further hesitation, I threw the book over to my right and it landed in the sun, the reflection of the green foil cover landed squarely in the middle of Lex's chest, making it look as though he had a heart of that green stone that once made me sick. I knew it was a sign but I wasn't sure what it was trying to tell me, so I assumed. I assumed it was giving me my icebreaker. My point.
"I'm not really normal," I said and sat up. Normally, you wouldn't just blurt things like this out. Normally, you would build up, drop clues, let the love of your life build up their own thoughts. Normally, then, and only then, would you let the bomb drop as softly as you could without cradling it because, let's face it, you need to know if your relationship can survive the aftershock.
Here however, there was nothing I would even think to approach 'normally'.
"Really," I said standing and closing the distance between me and Lex. Handsome Lex. "What I am is probably what you've assumed."
Assumed my ass, I think as I reach past him to really make sure the door is shut, as it tends to stick. My arm brushed his shoulder and my face was within inches of his. My heart leaps.
Lex knows. He's studied me and the rocks and whatever else he found years ago in Kansas. But those are his secrets to tell, his confessions to make and, just as he knows these inevitable truths of mine, he knows that it's important, integral for him to come out about it. Just as I will mine. These next few hours, hell days, minutes, seconds,[whatever, it's just time], are crucial. It's all a matter of trust. Of decency.
"I'm an alien."
"Really," he whispered and I can tell that he's too choked up to give his own confession right at this moment.
And that's when it hits me. He came here expecting to lose me. Expecting me to let us slip away. And maybe, just maybe, in some alternate universe, I did do that. And the heart of green the book foreshadowed would begin to grow that very day.
My forehead drops to rub against his, my heart is now beating through my chest and my lungs have shrunken horribly. My chest feels restricted and when he places his hand hesitantly there, I shut my eyes. The need for contact is too great.
"You mean to much to me." I suddenly feel his mortality is not my own, that time is like in the book. Precious. I can hold onto these seconds but I have not the power to freeze a moment so that I may change the outcome. One chance is all I get.
"As it is only right to tell you," I say choking back a sob, forcing a grip with my lips so close to his. "I think I should have realized a long time ago how much I love to love you."
The lips against mine are strong, almost brutal. They are clumsy with the passion of love and with the caffinated shakes borne of desire, of true longing. There is nothing perfect in this kiss, nor in the moments that follow. The fondling, the ripping of clothing, the bumping of heads, the uncertainty of where to lick and what to take.
This, however, is the kind of love that consumes. And that is what, in the end, defies perfection.
The End
