As I Live and Breathe
a Beetlejuice fanfic
by
C. "Sparky" Read

Chapter Four

When her breath returned, Lydia screamed.

"My, my, there sure has been a lot of noise in here recently," said Slime smugly, stepping into the dark room.

Lydia sputtered and squinted, trying to adjust her eyes to the dark. "You again?" She was very confused. "Where am I? And where's Beetlejuice?"

"You are where he was and he is where you were." Slime smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in his sleeve. "It's all very simple, really."

"But - " Lydia still was discombobulated from the abrupt change of location. "But I didn't say his name. How did I get here?"

Slime nodded to the bailiffs, who stepped out of the room. He approached Lydia. "You didn't have to," he informed her. "You are a spirit now."

Lydia shook her head. "No," she said, "they brought me back to life."

"Yes they did. But I changed that. You are, again, dead. Deceased. Graveyard fodder." Slime grinned wickedly. "Your striped friend couldn't reimburse me for my troubles."

"Oh, no!" Lydia knew something like this would happen: Beetlejuice was always digging himself into one hole or another. "Where is he now?"

"He paid."

Lydia blinked. "I...I thought you said he couldn't pay."

Slime gazed steadily back at her. "Oh, he paid," he assured her. "My, my, did he pay."

Lydia didn't like the sound of that. "Where is he," she said more than asked, gritting her teeth.

"I already told you: he is where you were." Slime checked his watch. "Looks like its time for my next appointment." He left.

Lydia sat alone, thinking. All this, she mused to herself, because I wanted a little nonsense. As if she didn't have enough in her life.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

It was dark. Then he opened his eyes.

Beetlejuice blinked in confusion. Lydia's room? He frowned. Then he grinned. Lydia must have called him - and just in time.

"Babes!" he called out, "Good timing! I was just - Lyds?"

No answer.

He frowned again. That was weird. He checked under the bed.

Nothing.

"Lydia!" he whined. "Where are you hiding?" He paused. "Why are you hiding?" He frowned deeper at the ensuing silence. Why would Lydia call him and then leave? He passed in front of the mirror on his way to the closet. He froze, and backed up.

He had a reflection.

Beetlejuice gripped the sides of the dresser and stared back at himself. He wasn't supposed to be able to see his reflection in Outerworld mirrors! Not only that, but he didn't look right. There was something wrong with the color of his skin, for one thing: it wasn't nearly blue enough. He stuck out his tongue. It was pink.

"Ok, don't panic," he reassured himself under his breath, "this isn't what it looks like." After all, that was impossible. There was one sure way to tell, anyhow, and he tried it.

"I have a pulse!"

Beetlejuice stumbled backwards and sat on the bed. "This is a nightmare!" he cried. "A nightmare - Of course, a nightmare!" He heaved a sigh of relief. "Just too many Cajun-Style Mealworms before bed again, that's all." To prove it and wake himself up in the process, he grabbed a sharp pencil from the nightstand and poked himself in the arm with it.

He was rewarded for his troubles with a great deal of pain. He yelled.

"Lydia?" Delia called from outside the bedroom door. "Lydia, are you upset about what happened downstairs? Lydia? Can I come in?"

Beetlejuice swallowed in fear. "Uh oh."