Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Evangelion, Gainax still has them.  If Gainax, or anyone affiliated with them, tells me to, I'll take this story off the web.  Also, this is a side-story to Kaiku, so you'll probably want to read that first to get up to speed.  Thanks.

Sanshuunoomoi

By Random1377

Shinji Ikari sat at the small kitchen table, a can of juice in one hand and a small paperback in the other.  "Weird stuff…" he muttered, keeping his thumb in the middle of the book so as not to lose his page and flipping the cover closed.  "Droogies…" he said thoughtfully, "I think I can see why this is Misses Souske's favorite… but what's a clockwork?"

He sighed, carefully opening the book once more (with great care, to ensure that the spine did not get creased) and picking up where he had left Alex and his friends in a milk bar… but he found himself distracted by an odd sound from further back in the house.

"That sounds like…"

He blinked as his roommate and fellow pilot, Asuka Langley Souryu, danced into the kitchen, singing at the top of her lungs.

"Rock the cradle of love!" the girl sang, shimmying over to the fridge and retrieving a carrot, "Rock the cradle of love… yes the cradle of love… don't rock easily, baby – wooo!!"

Shinji just stared as she spun around, grinning as she plopped into the seat across from him, then immediately standing, biting the end off the carrot and tapping her free hand first on the table, then Shinji's arm.

"Whatcha doin'?"

The Third Child looked uncertain.  "Just… reading," he said awkwardly, closing the book as Asuka began humming under her breath and pacing around the room, taking occasional bites of the vegetable in her hand and bobbing her head in time to some unheard rhythm.

"…sent from heaven above – that's right – to rock the cradle of love… yes the cradle of love…"

"Is there… something you want to talk about?" Shinji asked.

"Why do you say that?" Asuka asked lightly, setting the carrot down and giving him a huge grin.

"Well," Shinji murmured as she suddenly wandered around behind him and pretended to play the drums on his shoulders, "you just seem… really happy…"

The redhead leaned on the boy's back, playfully ruffling his hair.  "Now ask me why," she whispered into his ear, laughing with delight as the boy blushed and fidgeted in his seat.

Shinji nodded, wondering if he had ever seen the girl this affectionate.  "Ummm… why are you so happy, Asuka?"

The girl sat on the edge of the table and crossed her legs, winking as she gave her reply.

"I've got a date."

"Oh," Shinji nodded.

"That's all you've got to say?" the redhead grinned, leaning closer to the boy.  "I've got a real date," she boasted, "doesn't that make you jealous?  You'll be stuck here – without even having your little girlfriend – while I'm out having a good time and getting that much closer to real life."

Shinji scratched the back of his neck.  "I, ummm… how…?" he asked uncertainly.

"What is wrong with you!?!" Asuka said with much exasperation.  "Look," she started ticking off points on her fingers, "you're born… you go to school… you learn a few things here and there, but nothing real… you get a bit older… you start dating… and then…" she shrugged, her expression indicating that Shinji should already know all of this.  "Then people start treating you like a grown-up instead of a child."

Shinji looked skeptical.  "Then what?" he asked, paling slightly as he realized how confrontational this question sounded.

"You really are stupid," Asuka sighed pityingly.  "When people treat you with respect," she explained patiently, "then they start to rely on you.  When they start to rely on you, they start to trust you.  And when they trust you… they accept you."

"I see," Shinji said, trying his best to get his mind around just how a date translated into being accepted by adults.  He went back over Asuka's steps, frowning slightly as she folded her arms over her stomach and smiled triumphantly.  "So if what you're saying is true," he said slowly, "then… should people be accepting me?  I don't get it…"

"Man," Asuka murmured, "you don't, do you?"  She stared up at the ceiling for a minute, finding herself on the verge of telling him just who she would be going out with.  "Ok," she said finally, grinning as she found an analogy that fit.  "Imagine you started dating Misato."

Shinji blinked.  "I… don't think she's lonely enough…" he muttered uncomfortably.

"Oh, there's no doubt that it would be short-lived," the redhead retorted dryly, "but try to picture it.  You guys go out… people notice… people start to think, 'hey, maybe that kid is more mature than he looks,' and then – even if they don't realize what they're doing – they start paying more attention to you."

"What if I don't want attention?" Shinji whispered.

"Stay with me here," Asuka rolled her eyes, "they start paying more attention to you, because you're with her, you see?  By dating her, you've become… kind of an 'adult in training.'"

"Ahh," Shinji nodded, another rather aggressive comment slipping out before he could stop it, "So you're just going out tonight so people will notice you?"  He prepared himself for an angry reply, sure that the girl would take offense to the idea that she was being manipulative.

Instead, she smiled, leaning closer to him to whisper, "No, Shinji… I'm going out with him because I want to, and because he wants to go out with me."  She leaned back, turning to head for the bathroom as she added, "But I don't think you'd understand that, now would you?"

Shinji was totally unprepared for the sudden, intense feeling of shame that slammed into his gut.  "Wh-what do you mean?" he managed.

Asuka grinned, so fully intent on displaying her superior knowledge of the world that she never stopped to consider just how cruel her words were.  "I think you know what I mean," she said haughtily, "but if you're really that dense, why don't you ask Souske?  Oh wait, that's right – from what she says, you don't say much at all."  She paused in the doorway, glancing back over her shoulder as she concluded, "Although I guess she doesn't really need you to talk, just have your lips ready to-"

"Don't."

Asuka turned around, surprise lighting her features as Shinji cut her off.  "What?"

"Don't… make her sound cheap," he whispered, unable to meet the girl's inquisitive gaze.  "Please, Asuka… she's never done anything to you – don't talk about her like she's dirty… please…?"

Asuka blushed, recalling the younger girl's cheerful smile and open, honest questions about love and relationships.  "Yeah," she murmured quietly, feeling suddenly ashamed, "yeah, ok…"

"Thank you."

The two teens stood silently for a moment, not quite sure what to do.  Finally, Asuka murmured, "So, ummm… stay there a second, ok?  You can tell me how my dress looks."

"Ok…"

Shinji paced around the hallway for several minutes, plucking absently at a loose thread on his shirt.  I should be mad right now, he thought, frowning slightly, I should try to protect my girlfriend, shouldn't I?  I mean, that's what guys do, right?  He stopped pacing and sat down on the floor, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.  I'm not really her boyfriend though, he told himself, she wanted to be my girlfriend, but I never said…

He sighed.

"Keeps getting hollower, every… single… time…" he muttered.

"Hey," Asuka's voice called, "how do I look?"

Shinji opened his eyes… and found his jaw dropping open.

"Hmmm," Asuka hummed, smiling with satisfaction, "guess that means I look ok."

Shinji just nodded.  Speech, he knew, would be patently impossible, and with a touch of shame, he suddenly realized he had very good reason to be jealous of the redhead's date.  Instead of red (Shinji always associated Asuka with red) the Second Child wore a calf-length black dress, boasting a slit up to the knee on the left side to allow for freedom of movement.  He swallowed, trying not to stare at the girl's smooth, flawless shoulders, exposed by the dress's elegant cut.

"Wait until I get my makeup on," Asuka winked, holding her arms over her chest to keep the arms of the dress in place.

"Y-yeah," Shinji stammered.

"Zip me up?" the girl asked, turning around and holding her long, red hair up off her shoulders.  "Don't get any funny ideas," she teased, "I'm only asking you because Misato's not home."

"Sure," Shinji replied, walking over and reaching out with hands that were suddenly shaking.

"Listen," Asuka whispered suddenly, not noticing that she made him jump.  "About what I said earlier – about Souske and all… I'm… I'm sorry.  You're right, Shinji… she's not cheap or dirty.  That was mean…"

"It's ok," Shinji replied quietly, grasping the tab lightly with his thumb and forefinger and trying not to notice the lacy strapless bra that peeked tantalizingly out from the parted fabric.

Asuka tilted her head forward, smiling softly as the zipper slowly slipped up her back.  Maybe Kaji can give him a few lessons, she thought, feeling slightly dizzy as she realized that her date would begin in less than an hour.  Want me to ask him, Souske?  I'll bet Kaji could turn your boyfriend into a real lady-killer.  Not that I would ever go for him – huh uh! – I'll take my Kaji, thank you.  After tonight… her smile became even softer, after tonight, he'll know that I'm not just a child.

**

Kaji sighed as he rang Misato's doorbell.  Why am I here again? he thought tiredly, Oh yeah… that's right – I'm stupid.

Taking a glance at his watch, he muttered, "The reception's probably in full swing about now… bet Misato's hammered – she never did have much of a tolerance for seeing others happy…"

He frowned as Asuka's voice reached him through the door.

"Go in the other room!  Geez, stop hovering – you're not clever you know!"

Shinji's voice, sounding flustered, replied, "I wasn't spying – you forgot your, ummm… this thing…"

"It's called a shawl," the redhead grumbled, "don't show your ignorance."  There was a brief pause.  "Thanks… and don't pout!"

Kaji bowed politely as the door opened.  "Miss Souryu," he said formally, "are you ready?"

When he raised his eyes, he found Asuka smiling at him… or rather, a gorgeous young woman that looked vaguely like Asuka, smiling at him.  "I am," the redhead said coolly, offering him her hand, "and may I say… you look very nice tonight, Ryouji."

Shaking himself, the man took Asuka's hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it briefly.  "Thank you, Miss Souryu," he said quietly, "you look pretty good yourself."

A faint blush appeared on the girl's cheeks as she reclaimed her hand, taking in Kaji's formal dress uniform.  "Did you come straight from work?" she asked, closing the door and stepping into the hallway.

Kaji shrugged apologetically.  "I told you," he said calmly, "I'm always working."

Asuka grinned.  "Well I hope you can take an hour or two to be pleased…" she blushed as the man blinked.  "Um… I mean… not like that!  I was just saying… an hour or two too… have fun – but not like…"  She sighed.  "Forget it…"

"I understand," Kaji assured her, relaxing slightly.

That was too weird, he thought, gesturing for the girl to precede him down the hall, for a minute there, it was like she was a whole different person… and it was a little… hot.  He smiled to himself.  Not so hot that anything would happen, but close.

"So," Asuka said lightly as they entered the elevator, "what should I expect for the evening, Mister Kaji?"

"Hmmm," Kaji pushed the button for the first floor, standing next to the redhead and folding his arms.  "I think we agreed on dinner, right?" he asked quietly, waiting for her to nod before commenting, "Yeah, I thought so… so I made reservations at The Midnight Frost Cafe."  He paused, arching an eyebrow.  "Does that sound acceptable to you?"

The redhead was having a hard time concealing her enthusiasm.  "That sounds… fine," she said, trying not to grin like an idiot as she imagined what the most talked about restaurant in Tokyo-3 might look like, "do they, ummm… have dancing there?"

Kaji came very close to laughing.  The Midnight Frost, in addition to being known for its fine cuisine, was reputed to have the most spacious dance floor available, with room enough for one hundred couples to dance until their feet grew sore and never have to worry about colliding with others.

"I believe they do have dancing," he nodded, unable to keep from smiling.  "Will I have the pleasure?"

Asuka's attempt at an indifferent, "Perhaps," was ruined by the note of giddiness in her voice.  "I suppose we'll just see what the evening brings, won't we?"

"I suppose so."

The elevator arrived at the ground floor and they exited, walking to Kaji's Trueno Hachi Roku in silence.  "Thank you very much," Asuka smiled as he opened the door for her, "such a gentleman."

"Only to the ladies," Kaji muttered, closing the door and walking around to his side.  "Which reminds me… you should buckle up – I'm the one that taught Misato how to drive.

Asuka laughed… but fastened her belt all the same.

The drive to the restaurant was filled with idle small talk and silence as the couple tried their best to find a comfortable medium between harmless flirtation and quiet coolness.  Leaving the car with the valet, they started up the stairs, both impressed by the establishment's imposing exterior.

"Very avant-garde," Kaji said approvingly, "an entirely isolated Feudal Japanese Pagoda, right in the heart of Tokyo-3."

"I heard that some people dress up to come here," Asuka commented, trying to act casual as she stepped closer to him and slipped an arm around his, "see?"

Kaji smiled softly at the girl's attempt to distract him by pointing to a rather ornately garbed couple.  "Uh huh," he said quietly, putting his free hand on her arm, "they look like they belong here."

"Y-yeah," Asuka stammered, flushing at his light touch.  "So, ummm… should we go in?"

"Indeed we should," the man agreed, wondering suddenly what Misato would say if she saw them.

She'd probably try to joke about it, he thought as they made their way to the building's entrance and gave the host his name, But she'd understand after I explained why – she knows how Asuka feels… she'd know this is the best way to-

"Kaji…?"

"Hmm?" Kaji turned to find Asuka looking up at him with open adoration.

"You really do look great tonight…" the redhead murmured, slowly taking his hand and bringing it to her lips for a soft, light kiss.  "Thanks for giving me a shot."

"Sure," Kaji replied, acting as casual as he could as several people gave him disapproving stares.  "Just remember, this is so we can get to know each other better… so, ummm… you don't have to do that again."

Asuka blushed, releasing his hand and lowering her gaze as the host motioned for them to follow.  "O-ok… sorry…"

They made their way to a rather out of the way table, both of them smiling as they found it arranged in the classic Japanese style.

"Well, I'd love to pull your chair out for you," Kaji said dryly as he knelt on one side of the table, "you'll have to forgive me."

"Understandable," she grinned, carefully arranging her dress for modesty as she knelt, "Of course, this does make it easier if, you know, you wanted to dance later…"

Kaji smiled as a waiter materialized at his side.  "We'll both have the porterhouse," he told the man easily, "And a nice red wine, I'd think."

"Do you have a preference on the wine sir?" the waiter asked, ignoring Asuka entirely.

Kaji shrugged. "Surprise me," he winked, "but keep in mind I have a house payment."

"Yes sir," the waiter chuckled, "I'll be right back, then."

"Something wrong?" Kaji asked as Asuka fiddled with one of her chopsticks, a light rose hue on her cheeks.

"No one's ever… ordered for me…" she said quietly, "it's just kinda… strange."

Kaji cleared his throat.  "Sorry about that," he sighed, "force of habit."  He smiled.  "I just forgot for a minute that this isn't a date."

Asuka's blush intensified as she looked down at the table, carefully arranging her flatware in a neat line.  "I wouldn't mind if you forgot again…" she whispered.

Kaji took a sip of his water, declining to reply.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, looking around at the décor until the waiter reappeared, bearing a bottle of wine.  "Will this be acceptable, sir?" he asked smoothly, cradling the bottle in his palms and showing it to Kaji.

Kaji peered intently at the label, studying the date and vineyard for a moment before nodding.  "Excellent," he said firmly, deciding not to insist going through the entire presentation of the wine for the sake of time and comfort.  "You may serve us."

"Very good, sir."

Kaji smiled as Asuka's discomfort seemed to grow, until she was shifting from side to side by the time the wine was poured.  As soon as the waiter took his leave, Kaji observed, "You don't like the way I talk to him."

Asuka took her glass, staring into it for a moment before whispering, "I know that this is a nice restaurant… and I know that this is the way people talk in a nice restaurant… but it just… I don't think I could ever do it, that's all…"

Kaji shrugged as the girl took a tentative sip from her glass.  "You know something?" he asked lightly, "I don't really like it either, but they expect it… and I think they'd be a little offended if I wasn't at least a little uppity."

Some of the tension left Asuka's shoulders as she took another, longer sip.  "I guess you're right," she admitted, running her tongue over her lips, "I just-"

"Is it that good?"

"Hmm?"

Kaji leaned a little closer.  "You've finished half a glass already… is it really that good?"  He laughed as the redhead stared at her glass, her eyes wide.  "I never knew you were such a heavy drinker," Kaji winked, "maybe you've been spending too much time with Katsuragi."

"I'm German," Asuka muttered, bristling slightly at the mention of her guardian's name and emptying the glass in one long draught.  "I can handle it."

The pony-tailed man shook his head and sighed as she held her glass out to him.

"More, please."

**

"So you did have a boyfriend?"

Asuka shrugged, grasping a bit of steak with her chopsticks and popping it into her mouth before replying, "I wouldn't call him my boyfriend, but I'm sure he'd call me his girlfriend."

Kaji nodded, resting his elbows on the table and leaning closer to her.  "Why didn't I ever know about this?" he asked, "I was your guardian – I should know these things."  He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.  "You deliberately withheld information, Miss Souryu."

"Oh please," Asuka snorted, taking a sip of wine to clear her mouth, "we went to the movies once and he held my hand at commencement – it's not like I was sleeping with him, Mister Kaji."

"Did you kiss him?" the man asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"No!" Asuka shook her head for emphasis.  "He tried to kiss me, but fortunately I saw it coming and turned my head in time."  She took another bite of her dinner.  "I've never kis-"

Kaji smiled as she cut herself off, taking another drink and averting her eyes.

"Dance with me."

He sighed as the girl abruptly stood.  "Are you sure you're up to it?  You look a little wobbly."

"I'm fine," the redhead insisted, grinning broadly as he got to his feet, "sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not drunk enough for you to take advantage of me just yet."

Kaji rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself as he muttered, "Who would be taking advantage of who?"

Asuka laughed with delight, taking his hand and leading him to the dance floor.  She smiled, sliding willingly into his arms and letting her body move with the music.  "That's better…" she hummed, resisting the temptation to rest her head on his chest.   "Hey," she said softly, allowing herself the luxury of putting her arms on his back, "you're not too bad, Ryouji…"

"Thanks," Kaji said quietly, "you're not too bad yourself."

So much for keeping things friendly, he thought as the girl beamed at him, time to call it a night.

They moved in slow circles, maintaining the silence that had fallen between them until the song ended.

"Thank you for the dance," Asuka bowed formally as the music died down, "may I have another, please?"

"Actually," Kaji said apologetically, watching her face closely for any sign of anger or pouting, "I have to get going…"

A flash of frustration passed over the girl's features, but vanished in an instant as she nodded.  "I understand," she said quietly, feeling very proud that she was being so mature about things, "walk me home?  We're not that far… and I don't think you should drive just yet mister, 'It's only three glasses.'"

"Not that far?" Kaji echoed, "It's gotta be two or three miles, Asuka."

"Come on," Asuka chided, "you're not that out of shape, are you?  It'll be nice…" she smiled, lowering her voice, "we can talk… get to know each other…"

It's really not THAT far… Kaji thought as the redhead started back towards the table, and she's right… I did have a bit more than I planned – can't go pulling strings to get DUI tickets fixed all the time, now can I?

"Besides," he muttered to himself, "this will give you more time to tell her that it's not going to work out."

He paid the bill in cash, leaving a healthy tip as Asuka polished off the last of her glass of wine, and together they headed out into the night.

It only took three blocks for him to figure out that Asuka was drunk.

"Mmmm…" she sighed, "isn't it romantic tonight?"  She smiled, looking up into the sky with a dreamy expression.  "Look," she said happily, "it's a full moon."

"Not quite," Kaji mumbled, wondering if it was just his imagination, or if the girl really was swaying as she walked.  "I think it's only three quarters."

"You're so smart," the redhead smiled, reaching into the small purse she had with her, "want some gum?"

"No thanks…"

"Your loss," Asuka shrugged, slowly unwrapping a piece and popping it into her mouth.  "Much better," she said, "I was tasting all steaky…"

"Steaky?" Kaji repeated, wondering how much further the apartment was.  "Steak-like?"

"Steaky," Asuka nodded, wavering a bit as this movement caused her balance to shift.  "Oh no!" she cried suddenly.

"What?  What's wrong?" Kaji asked concernedly.

Asuka's face was heavy.  "I swallowed my gum."

Kaji sighed as the girl grinned at him.

"Sorry," she giggled, stumbling slightly as they continued on their way, "guess I… had one too many…"

Kaji pursed his lips, but before he could reply, the redhead tried taking another step.  "Careful!" he cried, stepping forward and catching the girl as she started to topple.

"Mmmm…" Asuka hummed, letting him support her, "you're so strong… God, I love that…"  She smiled drunkenly up at him, a slight slur in her speech as she murmured, "And you look so damn good!"  Abruptly, she shook her head, pulling back from his supporting arms.  "Sorry," she managed, putting her right hand on her head, "I guess I really did have a few, huh?"

Kaji said nothing, watching closely as the redhead tottered a few more steps before deciding what needed to be done.

"Next time," Asuka yawned, wobbling slightly on her feet, "one glass."  She smiled, starting to turn towards her date.  "So," she began, "do you think… there's going to be a next-wha!!"

"Stop."

Asuka nodded as she found herself leaning against Kaji for support once more.  "S-sorry," she stammered, trying to pull back, "I'm trying, Ryouji, I really am.  You have to belie-" She let out a short yelp as Kaji quickly leaned down, slipping one arm under her knees and the other around her back, hoisting her easily into the air.  Instinctively, she threw her arms around his neck, closing her eyes out of the reflexive fear of being dropped.

"I won't let you go."

Sky blue eyes slowly opened, allowing the redhead an unobstructed view of Kaji's concerned, but smiling face.  Just a little closer, she thought, her head spinning, just… a few inches, and…

Kaji froze, caught completely off guard as the girl in his arms began drifting closer, her eyes closing once more even as her lips parted.  Ten inches.  Eight.  Five.  Two.  Asuka's mouth was less than an inch from his when she finally halted, allowing him to smell the sweet mixture of alcohol and gum on her breath.  Everything stopped as the girl's eyes opened.

"You don't know how bad I want to kiss you right now…"

Though he had not thought it possible, Kaji tensed even more.  "Asuk-"

"I want you to be my first," Asuka continued, showing no sign that she had heard his attempt to protest, "my first kiss, my first touch, my first… everything.  God, I want it all, Ryouji…"  Slowly, carefully, she leaned to the side, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes as she whispered, "But I want it to be right… I want it to be because you want me too."  A small smile appeared on her lips.  "I want it to be because you want me too…"

Kaji found himself at a loss for words.  "Asuka," he said finally, wetting his lips.

"Hmmm…?" the redhead hummed, shifting slightly in his arms to get closer to him.

Again, the man fumbled for words, trying to figure out a way to say what he was thinking without damaging the fragile creature cradled in his arms.  He blinked in surprise as he felt her body relaxing, then let out a soft sigh of relief as he realized, She's asleep…

For over five minutes he stood holding Asuka's limp body, feeling her ever-deepening breath blowing against his neck and staring up at the nearly-full moon in silent contemplation.

**

Shinji looked up from his homework as the doorbell sounded.  "Can't be Chidori," he murmured to himself, pushing back from the table, "Misses Souske would never let her out this late – especially if she knew she was coming to see me."  He paled slightly as he started for the door, a sudden, vivid image of Chidori's tear-streaked face flashing through his mind.

Maybe she ran away, he thought wildly, pausing in the foyer, no!  Come on!  She loves her mom… she loves her… why WOULD she run away?  She's got no reason!

He shook his head, hearing her voice cry, 'I just had to be with you!  Please let me stay here!'

Taking a deep breath, he yanked the door open… and found the incredibly implausible thought of Chidori running away from home blasted into oblivion as he found an even more incredible sight waiting for him.

"Think you might be willing to step aside?" Kaji asked with a note of irritation in his voice.  "She's not that heavy, but I've been walking awhile."

"Yeah!" Shinji said, quickly getting out of the way, "Sure, sorry!"

"Katsuragi still out?" Kaji asked quickly, his eyes darting around the apartment as he walked towards the living room.

"Yeah," Shinji said, astutely picking up on the concern in the older man's voice, "She called and said she was going to sleep at Doctor Akagi's apartment because she was too dr- ummm… she was having fun…"  He blushed as Kaji stopped, glancing over his shoulder.

"I see," Kaji sighed, continuing into the living room and carefully laying the redhead on the couch.  "Listen," he said softly, arranging her in a slightly elevated position, "I don't really have time to be subtle with you, Shinji, so I'll tell you flat out: Asuka's had a lot to drink, and I'm worried that she's going to be sick… but I can't stay here with her because I have some important business I have to take care of."

Shinji nodded absently, his eyes glued on the Second Child's flushed cheeks and rapid breathing.

"Take care of her for me?" Kaji whispered, patting the girl's hair gently.

"S-sure," Shinji managed, his mind whirling.

Kaji offered him a comforting smile.  "Do me another favor?" he asked quietly, "Keep this between us?"

Shinji nodded, understanding at once.  "Ok."

"I owe you one, Shinji," Kaji said honestly, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.  He frowned, feeling the need to add, "Just so you know… nothing happened with us."

He frowned, averting his eyes as he thought, Not that it didn't cross my mind… I mean, so IS cute… ahhh!!! I have to get out of here!

Shinji could not hide his confusion.  "I… didn't think it had," he said awkwardly, averting his eyes and trying not to envision a drunken Asuka feebly protesting as Kaji's fingers slowly drew the zipper of her dress down.

"No," Kaji murmured, "I guess you wouldn't, would you."  Abruptly, he smiled.  "Hey, I heard you're dating now… how's that going?"

Sticking his hands in his pockets, the boy shrugged.

"That good, huh?" Kaji sighed.

"It's not… bad," Shinji told him hesitantly.  "We're just… going slow."

"You know something, Shinji?" Kaji said thoughtfully, heading for the door, "That's a really smart thing to do.  Too many kids your age just rush into things without thinking about the consequences.  I'm glad to hear that you're not like that."  He came up short in the hallway, grinning as he asked, "Have you kissed her yet?"  When Shinji blushed, stuttering that he really didn't like to talk about it, Kaji laughed.  "Well," he chuckled, opening the door and letting himself out, "there's something to be said for honor… well done, Shinji."

Shinji simply nodded as the door slid shut, not knowing quite what to say.  "Honor," he mumbled, heading back into the living room and sitting on the floor by the couch.  "Kaji's old fashioned."  He sighed, stretching out and reaching for the TV remote.  "Might as well see what's on," he said to himself, glancing at Asuka's sleeping face.

Finally settling on a dating program (more from lack of other options than real interest) he allowed his mind to wander.  They went on a date, he thought, taking another curious look at the sleeping redhead, but… Kaji said nothing happened.  Why did Asuka say it was a date?  Maybe… Kaji didn't want to admit it?  He looked embarrassed, like he didn't want me to know.  Again, the image of Asuka and Kaji in an intimate embrace slipped into his mind, only this time, Asuka was the aggressor.  That makes more sense, he thought, looking back to the TV, God, I'm horrible… I can't believe I'm thinking about this – Asuka would kill me if she knew.

He gave an involuntary start as a soft groan emanated from the girl.  Covering his suddenly-thumping heart, he craned his neck to peer at her.

"Uh oh…"

As quickly as he could, Shinji got to his feet, tugging on Asuka's arm and managing to get her upright as her eyes flew open, registering surprise.  "Shin-unhh…"

"Come on!" Shinji said urgently, tugging on her arm as she turned an alarming shade of green, "Come on!!"

Covering her mouth with her free hand, Asuka nodded, and together they rushed into the bathroom.  Shinji threw the toilet seat up just in time, trying not to be sick himself as Asuka fell to her knees, the alcohol she had ingested making its way violently out of her body.

Asuka grasped the back of the toilet desperately, her fogged mind running in every direction as she emptied her stomach.  Oh, why does he have to see me like this? she thought desperately, heaving again, God, I'm such a loser… sure, Kaji, I'm nice and mature – now how about a little kissy, hmm?  God…  Time lost its meaning as she knelt on the cold tile, forcefully ejecting her stomach's contents.

"Oh…" she gasped, reaching out with a shaking hand to flush the toilet, "oh thank God… it's over…"  As her breathing returned to normal, she became aware of a feeling of lightness around her neck and shoulders.

Hair, she thought feebly, can't… feel my hair…

She closed her eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath as she realized why.

Shinji was holding her hair back for her… just like in those stupid romance novels she read, he was being thoughtful and considerate.  He was being a gentleman… in spite of the cruelty she had shown him earlier that very night, he was still being kind to her.

"Thanks," she whispered, opening her eyes and spitting into the toilet with an expression of extreme distaste.  "I think I can handle it from here…"  She frowned as she felt Shinji's arm slide around her waist, gently helping her to her feet.  "I said I was ok," she grumbled, trying to shake him off, "let me go."

"I said I would take care of you," Shinji told her awkwardly.

"Who'd you tell that, Misato?" the redhead demanded, still trying to free herself from his gentle hold.

"Kaji."

Asuka's struggles ceased.  "Kaji?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Shinji confirmed, "he told me to make sure you were ok."

Slowly, reluctantly, Asuka raised her eyes.  "Oh man," she hissed, catching sight of herself in the mirror, "God, I look terrible…"

"You don't… look that bad…" Shinji said softly.

"I'm not Chidori," Asuka grumbled, pulling away from the boy's supporting arms and leaning on the sink, "you don't have to butter me up, Third Child – you're not kissing me."

Shinji flushed a brilliant crimson as the Second Child ran some water in the sink and began washing her sweaty face.  "I was just… you really don't look that bad…" Shinji protested weakly.

Asuka glanced at him over her shoulder, then rolled her eyes and looked back to the mirror.  "Sure, Shinji," she murmured, "sure."

When she finished cleaning herself up, Asuka headed for the living room, only offering a vague, 'watch your hands,' when Shinji slid one arm around her waist to help her and settling onto the couch with a weary sigh.  She watched in silence as Shinji walked into the kitchen, returning a few minutes latter with a steaming mug of tea.

"Here," he said quietly, offering her the mug, "this will help your stomach."

"You sure?" Asuka asked skeptically, eyeing the mug.

Shinji smiled.  "Works for Misato," he said lightly.  "It has lots of sugar."

Asuka accepted the drink, blowing lightly on the contents while Shinji lowered himself onto the couch next to her.  Once it was cool enough, she took a cautious sip.  "Hey," she said with some surprise, "this is really good."

"Thanks," Shinji said happily.  He watched her quietly for a minute, finally working up the courage to ask, "So, umm… how was your date?"

Asuka glanced into the mug, swirling the contents slowly.  "I don't want to tell you," she said flatly.

Shinji nodded, averting his eyes.  "I understand."

Asuka frowned as he got to his feet, keeping her eyes on the tea.  "I think I blew it, Shinji," she whispered, just as he reached the door.  She waited for him to say something, but he kept his silence, compelling her to go on.  "It was going pretty well until I had too much to drink," she mused, taking another sip from the mug, "then I just kept pushing… and pushing… and pushing."  She sighed.  "I don't think he'll go out with me again…"

She looked up as Shinji crossed back over to her and knelt at her feet.

"What?" she asked, confused by the serious expression in his dark blue eyes.

"Do you think," Shinji said slowly, "that maybe… that's for the best?"  Asuka's expression immediately darkened, but he continued anyway.  "He's pretty busy with his work, Asuka," he said quietly, "and… he and Misato had, you know, kind of a thing before.  Wouldn't that be awkward?"

"I don't care if it's awkward," Asuka said calmly, setting her mug down and leaning forward so that she was right in Shinji's face.  "I don't care at all."

"No," Shinji shrugged, trying not to be intimidated by the redhead's closeness and drawn-down brow, "but he might.  It might be hard for him to be with you and see her all the time, you know?  And besides," he smiled weakly, "he's… probably afraid you'd be too good to him, and he'd never get to date anyone else."

Asuka was not smiling.  Silently, she studied his face, her lips pursing as she carefully chose her words.  "Listen to me, Shinji," she whispered, waiting until his eyes stopped darting around the room and fixed on hers before continuing, "I know what you're trying to do, and part of me appreciates it – really – but you should stop."  She put her hand over his mouth as he tried to protest, shaking her head as she continued.  "I know we don't talk much," she said softly, "and we don't know each other that well, even though we live together, but I know that you're trying to make me feel better… and you should just stop right now, because I'm not going to get over this easy.  Ok?"

Shinji nodded, lowering his eyes as the redhead pulled her hand away.  "I just-"

"Shinji," Asuka cut in, "let it go.'

"Alright…"

Asuka considered his downcast face for a moment before leaning back.  "Thank you for the tea," she said quietly.  Shinji nodded, starting to rise, but Asuka leaned forward again and put her hands on his shoulders.  "Wait," she said quickly.  Slowly wetting her lips, she took a deep breath.  "I'm not… really good at talking to people, you know?" she said slowly, "I'm not going to get all weepy and cry on your shoulder or anything lame like that, but I was thinking, when you were holding my hair for me… that I'm not that nice to you."  She cocked her head to the side.  "Am I right about that, Shinji?"

Shinji blushed, but did not reply.

"Yeah," Asuka murmured, "kinda thought not."  With a sigh, she released him and sat back on the couch.  "I'll try and be better," she mumbled tiredly, "how's that?"  She snorted suddenly, folding her arms over her breasts.  "Don't look for more than that, Third Child… that's my sap quota for the next six months.  If you want more, go see Souske."

Shinji smiled softly.  "No," he said quietly, rising to his feet, "if you got any sappier, I might ask Kaji what happened to the real Asuka."

Asuka grinned.  "Go to bed," she muttered, "it's past midnight."

"What about you?" Shinji asked uncertainly.

"I had a little nap," the girl said ruefully, "so I'm gonna stay up for a bit… maybe read a little – and definitely change into something more comfortable, 'cause I can hardly breath in this stupid thing."

Shinji laughed, blushing as he stole a glance at the tight-fitting dress.  "Well," he said, "goodnight."

As he turned, Asuka whispered, "Shinji."

"Yeah?" he asked, turning to look over his shoulder.

Asuka was grinning broadly.  "I saw that."  She laughed out loud as the boy's cheeks flushed and he stammered an apology.  "Tell you what," she winked, "make me some more of that tea tomorrow, and I won't tell little Souske-chan about your wandering eyes, deal?"

"Deal!" the boy said firmly, sharing a smile with her before heading to his room and closing the door.

Slowly, Asuka leaned back on the couch and gazed up at the ceiling.  "Idiot," she whispered, allowing her mask of casual 'no big deal' calm to slip away.  "God I'm such an idiot!  Why couldn't I just… oh now he'll never want to be with me!!"  Taking a shuddering breath, she tried to get control of herself, but the quiet voice of the Third Child, telling her that this was probably for the best, made control impossible – especially when she realized that he was probably right. 

Rolling onto her side and pressing her face into the back of the couch, Asuka Langley Souryu took another shuddering breath and did something she had not done in seven years…

She wept…

The End

Author's notes:  This was originally supposed to be part of the Chidori/Shinji story Kaiku, but it started to get so long that I decided to cut it and make it a side story.  I really wanted to accomplish two things in this story: avoid having Asuka and Kaji fall in love, and depict what a date between a 29 year old and a 14 year old might be like.  I wanted him to be nervous as all hell, and trying his best to keep things 'friendly,' while she's doing everything in her power to get him to see her as an adult… and end with both of them partially succeeding.  Their relationship is not over – no one involved with Project-E is ever really free of it, or the people associated with it… but as Asuka realizes and finally accepts at the end of this story, friendship is the most she can hope for.  Of course, sometimes a friendship can be more fulfilling than an affair, so I guess we'll just have to see what happens.  *shrug*

Pre-read was done by Lord Malachite and Ryoma – who both fell to their knees and worshiped me for not putting Asuka in Kaji's bed.  *Sigh* some people…  -_-  Lisa Eggleston, who also pre-read, simply wiped the sweat from her brow and shook her head, muttering something like, "Dodged THAT bullet…"  *double SIGH*

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