Chapter Three
The Grand Chatelet Prison, 1832
Valjean: You can't lock me up! I'm the protagonist, damn it! *rattling at the bars of some dungeon* Why, God, why?!
Eponine: *stoops to pick something up* Hey, my other earring. I've been looking for that *reminiscent smile* Ah, my old cell. There're a lot of memories here
Shadowy Figure: *on the other side of the cell* Could you keep it down a little over there? We're trying plot an escape over here!
Eponine: Well, quit shouting about it, then. These bars aren't soundproof, you know.
Combeferre: *steps out of the shadows* Please, Mademoiselle, don't make Enjolras any madder than he already is *wince*
Enjolras: I have every right to be mad! I didn't do anything wrong! This is just another example of our corrupt justice system in action
Valjean: What do you mean? What are you in for?
Enjolras: *shuffles his feet* Well, actually…I'm in for…*trails off into a mumble*
Eponine: What?
Enjolras: *his face turning as red as his vest* Public Nudity! There, I said it! Happy?!
Eponine: Um…okaaaaaay…
Enjolras: It wasn't my fault!
Valjean: Right…
Enjolras: It was that damned gamin's doing! He snuck into my room while I was sleeping, stole all the clothes in my closet, and left me an outfit with "God Save the King" written on the front!
Valjean: Why didn't you just put it on?
Enjolras: *looks insulted* Never!
Combeferre: *muffled laughter*
Enjolras: SHUT UP!
Eponine and Valjean: *muffled laughter*
Enjolras: YOU TOO!
Valjean: Who died and made you boss?
Enjolras: Robespierre
Combeferre: Enjolras, can you just settle down? I'm trying to draw up plans for the escape tunnel
Valjean: And what are you doing here?
Combeferre: I tried to smuggle him a file in a cake
Eponine: And they caught you in the act?
Combeferre: Oh, no. They just locked me in here because some guy named Inspector Javert wanted the cake for himself. *looks over his blueprints* Well, we're all set. Enjolras, go get the spoon and start digging
Enjolras: *frown* Hey, I'm your supreme commander. You start digging
Valjean: *lights up* Say, I just happen to possess superhuman strength. If you let me escape with you, I'll dig the tunnel. *shudder* I hate to think what that boy has been up to with my daughter while I've been stuck in here
Eponine: *looks pensive* Hmm…*getting worried* Gah! *runs to the wall and begins to burrow madly* I'm coming, Marius!
*A few hours later*
Valjean: *burrows up through his front lawn* Heh heh. We made it!
Eponine: *climbs out* Thank heavens! *to Valjean* Now, come on. We have to go find Marius and Cosette before it's too late!
Enjolras: *emerging* Marius and Cosette?
Combeferre: *curious* You don't mean Marius Pontmercy, do you?
Eponine: *dreamy sigh* Mmm…yes…
Valjean: *looks ill*
Enjolras: Why, he's one of my followers! What do you want with him?
Eponine: Well, you see, he's in love with Monsieur Fauchelevent's daughter, and since Monsieur Fauchelevent is such an overprotective maniac, he wants to put a stop to it. I decided that it would be good for us to work together, since I want Marius for myself.
Combeferre: *his eyes lighting up* Oh, so you're lovesick psycho he's always talking about?
Eponine: *jumping up and down* You mean he mentioned me? Yay!
Enjolras: Say, why don't you let us tag along with you?
Valjean: Why?
Enjolras: Because I'm sick of that lovesick fool wasting precious rioting time writing love poetry for that girlfriend of his!
Valjean: Well! Come on then, time's wasting!
Still continued…
