Chapter Three

The Grand Chatelet Prison, 1832

Valjean: You can't lock me up! I'm the protagonist, damn it! *rattling at the bars of some dungeon* Why, God, why?!

Eponine: *stoops to pick something up* Hey, my other earring. I've been looking for that *reminiscent smile* Ah, my old cell. There're a lot of memories here

Shadowy Figure: *on the other side of the cell* Could you keep it down a little over there? We're trying plot an escape over here!

Eponine: Well, quit shouting about it, then. These bars aren't soundproof, you know.

Combeferre: *steps out of the shadows* Please, Mademoiselle, don't make Enjolras any madder than he already is *wince*

Enjolras: I have every right to be mad! I didn't do anything wrong! This is just another example of our corrupt justice system in action

Valjean: What do you mean? What are you in for?

Enjolras: *shuffles his feet* Well, actually…I'm in for…*trails off into a mumble*

Eponine: What?

Enjolras: *his face turning as red as his vest* Public Nudity! There, I said it! Happy?!

Eponine: Um…okaaaaaay…

Enjolras: It wasn't my fault!

Valjean: Right…

Enjolras: It was that damned gamin's doing! He snuck into my room while I was sleeping, stole all the clothes in my closet, and left me an outfit with "God Save the King" written on the front!

Valjean: Why didn't you just put it on?

Enjolras: *looks insulted* Never!

Combeferre: *muffled laughter*

Enjolras: SHUT UP!

Eponine and Valjean: *muffled laughter*

Enjolras: YOU TOO!

Valjean: Who died and made you boss?

Enjolras: Robespierre

Combeferre: Enjolras, can you just settle down? I'm trying to draw up plans for the escape tunnel

Valjean: And what are you doing here?

Combeferre: I tried to smuggle him a file in a cake

Eponine: And they caught you in the act?

Combeferre: Oh, no. They just locked me in here because some guy named Inspector Javert wanted the cake for himself. *looks over his blueprints* Well, we're all set. Enjolras, go get the spoon and start digging

Enjolras: *frown* Hey, I'm your supreme commander. You start digging

Valjean: *lights up* Say, I just happen to possess superhuman strength. If you let me escape with you, I'll dig the tunnel. *shudder* I hate to think what that boy has been up to with my daughter while I've been stuck in here

Eponine: *looks pensive* Hmm…*getting worried* Gah! *runs to the wall and begins to burrow madly* I'm coming, Marius!

*A few hours later*

Valjean: *burrows up through his front lawn* Heh heh. We made it!

Eponine: *climbs out* Thank heavens! *to Valjean* Now, come on. We have to go find Marius and Cosette before it's too late!

Enjolras: *emerging* Marius and Cosette?

Combeferre: *curious* You don't mean Marius Pontmercy, do you?

Eponine: *dreamy sigh* Mmm…yes…

Valjean: *looks ill*

Enjolras: Why, he's one of my followers! What do you want with him?

Eponine: Well, you see, he's in love with Monsieur Fauchelevent's daughter, and since Monsieur Fauchelevent is such an overprotective maniac, he wants to put a stop to it. I decided that it would be good for us to work together, since I want Marius for myself.

Combeferre: *his eyes lighting up* Oh, so you're lovesick psycho he's always talking about?

Eponine: *jumping up and down* You mean he mentioned me? Yay!

Enjolras: Say, why don't you let us tag along with you?

Valjean: Why?

Enjolras: Because I'm sick of that lovesick fool wasting precious rioting time writing love poetry for that girlfriend of his!

Valjean: Well! Come on then, time's wasting!

Still continued…