Chapter 4: Of miniature bozus Disclaimer: Homura would like to own a new world by the most underhanded means possible. I would love to own Saiyuki by any means possible but I'm not a master at evil schemes. UltraM2000: Hmph. Yea, right. And you are not an evil demigod in disguise.

Firnheledien: Oi, this is my fic!!?!?

The ikkou continues on their journey West, with the holiest priest in Togenkyou now the size of a matchbox, in tow. They are halted once again by a bunch of youkai intent on repossessing the scriptural discourse of the Buddha inscribed on a paper draped over the upper half of Sanzo's anatomy; in short: the sutras.

Youkai: Genjo Sanzo, hand over the sutras! *looks around for the monk, confused* Sanzo?

Hakkai: *closes eyes and smiles* Yare yare.

Youkai: Where is the great Sanzo-Hoshi sama?

Hakkai fishes out petit Sanzo from his pocket and sets him down on his palm. The tiny monk loads his revolver and points it at the offending youkai.

Hakkai: Do your thing, Sanzo.

Sanzo: *chirrups* Shine! *fires randomly into the demon mob*

*Ping**ping**ping**pingggg*

Hakkai eyes the bullets spraying onto the ground with great amusement.

Gojyo: Hah, looks like your peashooter's been cut down to size, eh, Sanzo- Hoshi sama?

Sanzo: -_-######## .. *radiates Deadly Aura of Murderous Potential*

Hakkai: Eto. . . maybe you should try something bigger, Sanzo?

Sanzo: *tinny chanting* On - ma - ni - hatsu - mei- un-MAKAI TENJOU!!!!!!

*Flappita**Swoosh*

The tiny sutras extend to decimate any unfortunate youkai but their range is sadly-limited. A youkai rushes forward but falls flat onto his face.

Youkai #1: o_O .Arrg-my foot! It's frozen. Can't-move-

Hakkai: *lightbulb goes on* Ano, Sanzo. . . . I think that you've only managed to paralyse a part of the youkai. . .

Just then Homura and his compadres descend on some heavenly lavender- scented cloud.

Homura: *cough**choke**wheeze* Aaack. Damn that kuso baba. She knows I hate Evelyn & Crabtree.

Shien and Zenon: *waving away the poufy scent* Urrrg. . . Homura: Anyway. . . *blasts the youkais to Kingdom Come* Konzen! Give me the (what was it again)--*flips open a pocket dictionary*-- sutra [noun]: A documented discourse of the Buddha. Everyone: ??? Sanzo: *glowers and squeaks* Not in your miserable life, baka kami. Homura: Nani!!?!?? *his eyes are drawn to the puny incarnation of Konzen strutting around on Hakkai's palm*...BWAAHAHAAHHAHAAA!!!! *doubles over in laughter* Sanzo: *black clouds of doom encircling his head* What's so funny!!??!!?! You think I'm harmless because I 'm small, is that it?!??!?!? Well take this!!!! *tries to lunge for Homura* Unfortunately for our poor dinky (but volcano-tempered) Sanzo, a particularly strong gust of wind happened to come blowing his way at the exact moment of his ill-timed jump. Sanzo: Lemme at him!! Lemme at hiiiiii-aieeeehh!!!!! *Gust* Sanzo: *is blown into a tree and lands in a bird's nest* Eeek! *splat* Everyone: O_O Homura: Ahem, as I was saying. . . you're mine, Goku!!! Goku: Nooo, Sanzo!!!!*runs over to the aforementioned tree* Homura: *lunges to grab Goku but falls flat on his godly face after the saru dashes off* Urrg. Dang monkey. Why is he so hyper? But, by the mercy and good grace of some Goddess (kuso baba) of Mercy up in that political circus called Tenkai (who has received her dues in entertainment from the mortals below and is laughing her eyeballs out into some lotus pond in the sky), Sanzo is restored to his significantly normal size. Which means bad news for a certain demigod and horny river boy. Homura: *finds himself getting friendly with the lethal end of a familiar Smith & Wesson* Sanzo: *the barest hint of a smirk* Did you miss me? *cocks the hammer of the revolver* Homura: ... {.Several gunshots and puffs of lavender cloud later.} Sanzo: *wipes his gun on his robes* Hn, baka kami. Goku: Sanzo!!! *tries to hug Sanzo around the waist* Naaa, Sanzo, now that you're your normal size again, can you buy me a pork bun? Sanzo: Damare. *thwacks Goku with the paper fan* Gojyo: *snickering* Oh, Sanzo. . . You've got some pretty interesting things on your behind. . . . Sanzo: *vein throbs and blood pressure shoots up* Nani? . . . *turns and sees bits of runny egg and shell coating his posterior**deathly silence**his left eyebrow twitches* Sanzo: *explodes into a homicidal tantum* Teme!!!!! KOROSU ZO!!!!! I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR ING BRAINS OUT FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU DID TO ME!!!!! DO YO KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BEING THAT SMALL??!?!?!? KONO K'SO BAKA HENTAI GOKIBURI!!!!! *fires gun in the general direction of Gojyo*

All: *start running for their lives from the bullets and curses of one incensed monk*

Hakkai: Ah, everything that goes around comes around in such a small world, ne, Gojyo?

Gojyo: Shaaaddap.