Omake: Lilliputian Dilemmas Disclaimer: Saiyuki me no own. Ooga booga. For all my reviewers, since you guys were hankering after some more. This came up during Phys. Ed. Class, somehow. . .

***

The breeze is strong; the sky that perfect shade of blue. The paper crisp and sharp.

The tiny monk blathering in diminutive tones on Hakkai's palm and stomping around in his ferociously miniature sandals.

Hakkai: *folding a piece of orange and white paper patiently, listening to Sanzo's comments*

Sanzo: *grunts* Ch', at least you can fold paper planes decently. Now, hurry up.

Hakkai: Hai hai. *finishes the last fold of the paper plane*

Hakkai hoists the microscopic priest onto the paper plane. And off they go into the wind.

Gojyo: Hn. The bozu's lost for words.

Sanzo: =_= .NANI!!?!?!?! Watch out you kuso gokiburi!! *zooms toward Gojyo on his orange plane, spouting high-frequency curses*

Gojyo: O~O . Ha ha--*sees an orange aerial menace headed right for his head*--aieeeee!!!!!!*runs off*

Sanzo: Come back here!!!!!!

Sanzo scrambles to intercept the hysterical kappa. But, as Fate would have it. . .

Sanzo: *firing his pea-sized bullets at a fleeing Gojyo* SHINE!!!!!!!!!!!

*Poink**vrrrrrrrrippp**bullet pierces the paper plane*

Sanzo: o~O . (Uh oh) *squeaking* Mayday! Mayday!!!

He plummets down in Dougan's (who is currently serenading a bowl of curry mee) direction.

Dougan: O, beautiful bowl of mee. How lovely thy curried shade; to what exactness thine immortal santan (coconut milk)-laced aroma?--Alas--

*Plop*

And so, ladies and gentlemen, Genjo Sanzo, the amazing flying priest dives headfirst into the fiery concoction as his vermillion steed skids away in a blaze of soup and noodles.

Sanzo: +_= .*#!$%@**#!!?!?! Blurgleblupsplutter (Kono k'sogappa.)

Dougan: O_O . ^__- ... Aaaa. Are? . . . San-zo-sama? *uses his spoon to scoop Sanzo out from his gravy*

Sanzo: *not at all pleased because he is covered in strangling strands of noodle and sopping wet with curry sauce, therefore he cheeps angrily* Nani ga, kono hentai?!?!?!! [Whaddaya want, you pervert?]

Dougan: Oh, Sanzo-sama. Anything you want Sanzo-sama. . . *places Sanzo on his napkin ever so gently and gazes hypnotically (more like squints) into Sanzo's pipsqueak violet eyes*

Sanzo: =_= .(First that disturbed god and now this underdeveloped choirboy. . .) *pulls out his revolver*

*Click*

Goku comes running up to rescue Sanzo, thus sparing Dougan of the fate of being sent into the next world, leaky like a Swiss cheese.

Dougan: *as his Sanzo-sama is wrested away from his fanboy grasp* NOOOOOOooooooooo. . . . Sanzo-sama!!! Boo hoo! Sanzo-sama. . . I thought you loved meeeee. . . .

All: 0_O

Dougan: *wipes away crocodile tears* Now. . . I have no choice, Sanzo-sama. . . . Furbies--ATTACK!

Multi-coloured fluffballs with beaks and beady, glazed eyes pour out to encircle the ikkou.

Dougan: *maniacal laughter* Now, no one can ever have my Sanzo-sama!!!!!

Goku: Ne, Sanzo--*as a rabid furby stalks him*--what are these things? Are they edible?

Sanzo: *fighting with a pink furby who is trying to disarm him of his harisen* Damare, kono bakazaru.

Hakkai: *sweatdrops* I believe that they are fangirls trapped by a spell, after being tricked into thinking that they would spend the rest of eternity with us.

A little green-polka dotted furby bounces up to Sanzo, piping hyperglycaemically. It squeals in exaggerated delight and bounces up to the pygmy priest.

Furby: *with ear-splitting frequency* EEEEEEE!!!!! Me Firn-day!!! Me love you!! Hug meeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Sanzo: *peeps, shaking his fist at the furby, 3 times his size* Is that all you can ever think about??!?!!?

And again, his beloved divinity for an aunt decides to take pity on her long-suffering nephew and decides that it is time to relieve him of the burden of being midget-sized.

*Poof*

{.Several tons of fairy dust and etc. later.}

Sanzo: *stares down furby with a gaze that melts titanium (I swear I've seen it happen)* .....

Furby: ??? Ah-ah-aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. . . . . . .! *promptly melts into a puddle of sugar*

Gojyo: So--*imitates Dougan*--Sanzo-sama, now that you're back to your normal size. . . .

Sanzo: ..

Gunshots ring as the ikkou scramble to save their skins from the clutches of one royally affronted monk, bent on sending their souls to hell and back (so he could do it all over again). World sprinting records are reported broken as Sanzo hitches up his robes and pursues them into the cancer- causing rays of the sunset.