I didn't mean to, I swear. I wanted to do a Sora story but this came to me as I was stumped at the time with the Sora story. So here's something to savor as I finish the other one.
Akichi-kun: you did make an appearance in my fic but as a person of the wrong gender. Sorry!
Read, enjoy and review!
May you know truth, joy and love. And not necessarily in that order, readers. ^^
Samanda
Disclaimer: I do not own dot hack or any of its characters.
Thoughts On Love
Koishitawa Mimiru was lost to the noisy world around her as she stared into the distance. A20 stood beside her chatting about something that she wasn't listening to and bouncing around like the little kid that she was. Deep thoughts ran through Mimiru's mind but her face was smooth and unreadable.
Life for her ran fairly straightforward most of the time. Her parents both had good jobs but spent a lot of time working and little time at home. They were loving but rather distant. She was an only child who was naturally blessed with enough intelligence to get by in school and enough charm to make friends.
She was like a thousand other girls in Japan. Only in her obsession with the online PC game called 'The World' was she any different. She spent all her free time online there but people made fun of her IRL for spending so much time online. But the anonymity and the people were what she enjoyed most about 'The World'.
A few of them she got close to like A20, Bear and Tsukasa. A20 she counted as a friend and Bear was the loving uncle that she never had. But Tsukasa… Tsukasa was a different story.
What she felt for the male wave master was new to her and rather confusing in its entirety. When she saw him her breath was stolen away for a precious moment before it came back again. A warm feeling spread through her when he smiled at her but sometimes she had trouble forcing the words out of her throat when he asked her a question. And when she saw him sitting so close to Subaru she wanted to scratch the other girl's eyes out.
Her friend Akichi had pinpointed the emotion for her. Akichi told her, Mimiru, which was what she felt sounded like love. Or a bad crush she added on after a long pause.
A pair of hands waved themselves in her face. "Mimiru, come on. You promised to form a party with me. Let's go hunt some monsters!" chirped A20.
"I'm coming," Mimiru sighed and stood up.
*************
Mimiru sighed as she watched the scenery below her as she stood on the bridge where she normally met Tsukasa. She was alone since A20 had gone home long before citing chores as the reason.
She was worrying as usual about Tsukasa and his state of mind as well as the fact he might be comatose forever. Up till now there had been little in her life to worry her so that the situation she was involved in right now had packed a double punch. Bear seemed to be the only one who realized this since Mimiru hid it so well.
She shook off the feelings that plagued her. She turned away from the bridge only to see Tsukasa standing a few feet away. He was looking at her in that slightly sad way of his that made Mimiru's insides melt into a puddle.
"Tsukasa," She stammered. "How long-"
"A few minutes," He cut in.
She frowned at him but he just shrugged. Mimiru humphed then started walking towards the closest root town. Tsukasa followed her silently for a bit before he spoke.
"Are you well?" Tsukasa broke the silence.
"I'm fine," Mimiru said through gritted teeth.
Tsukasa eyed her doubtfully but refrained from further comment. This of course only provoked the irritable Mimiru even more.
She rounded on him. "I'm just worried."
"About me?" He guessed with surprise.
Mimiru looked at him blankly before she nodded. "I worry about you a lot lately."
"That's a change," Tsukasa said, still assimilating what she said.
"Just stop that," Mimiru yelled at Tsukasa. "There are a lot of people that care for you. I care for you-" She broke off suddenly and flushed. She finished softly. "I care for you."
Tsukasa gave her a confused look. It cleared up as he watched her struggle with words then finally give up and turn away. He planted his staff softly onto the ground and watched her try to avoid his eyes.
"I…see." He murmured to himself. "Do you have romantic feelings for me, Mimiru?"
Mimiru kept her eyes on the ground. "Yes," She whispered.
"Outside of this place," He gestured to the fantasy world around him. "I am not a guy."
"I know," Mimiru finally looked at him with heat in her eyes.
Tsukasa cocked his head to the side slightly. "You know that I'm female and yet you still feel things for me…"
Mimiru nodded and looked away again. "I know you don't feel the same for me and I can deal with that."
"You're wrong," Tsukasa said gently. "We are friends and that is important. I'm not sure I'm ready for anything else yet. There is so much still to be done."
"I understand," Mimiru made an effort to smile at Tsukasa but it was faked and they both knew it.
Mimiru flashed back to an important piece of advice Akichi had given her. "Give it time," She had recommended compassionately. And Mimiru now resolved that she would give Tsukasa time to deal with his confusion and the very important problems he was now dealing with.
It would be hard but she would tough it out the half-life she would be living until everything had been straightened out. Mimiru was naturally stubborn and yearning to be more than friends but living as less than lovers was an issue she would have to sort out herself.
Tsukasa saw the half formed flickers of Mimiru's thoughts on her face before they resolved into a look of understanding and determination on her face. Tsukasa knew that she understood his point of view and respected it.
He made a split second decision in his head and acted on it. Tsukasa took Mimiru's hand in his and threaded his fingers through hers.
Mimiru kept still for a second then looked up at his face. Seeing only a smile on his lips and warmth behind his eyes, she relaxed and smiled trustingly back at him. She squeezed his hand gently then looked forward as they kept on walking.
They had reached a compromise of sorts for now and Mimiru was content with what she had at this moment. She wanted more than this from him but she realized that this is all that she might have of him in the long run and she contented herself to that. Eventually Tsukasa would be ready to fly and she would be there to catch him if he started to fall. She couldn't wait to glide beside him.
I will wait, she resolved to herself. It's too early to know the end yet.
And so another day ended in 'The World' as they walked into the sunset holding hands.
~Fini~
