CHAPTER 3

A.K.A. Can I get a Shot of Rat Poison?

As the world came to, Ganondorf looked around. "Oh my, I guess I really am in hell. Everything is white." The nurse walked in.

"Why hello there, mister…" she flipped through a notebook and found his name. "…mister … uh… Danonpork?"

"Ganondorf," he corrected.

"It seems you were attacked by chickens, Mr. Gunandowoof."

"Ganondorf. I was trying to commit su-…"

"Don't speak. You'll lose too much blood!"

"That's the idea, sweetie."

L~A~T~E~R

Ganondorf lay in his room, thinking. "Maybe I could get him to… no, that wouldn't work. I would just end up here again. I never even knew Hyrule had a hospital. How am I going to commit freaking suicide?!"

"DID I HEAR THE S-WORD?!?!?!?" asked a doctor who had just walked in.

"No… I said suicide."

The doctor became ecstatic. "OH GOODY GOODY GUMDROP! I HAVE A NEW PATIENT! TO KILL! EFFECTIVELY! FOR A CHARGE! THAT MEANS PAYMENT! IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN…"

"What in the name of all that is dark and evil are you talking about?"

"I HELP PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE SEMI-LEGALLY!"

"Semi-?"

"THEY CAN'T BE FORCED SUICIDES OR DONE TO THOSE WHO ARE INSANE! UNLESS YOU PAY DOUBLE! THAT MEANS TIMES TWO OR DID YOU KNOW THAT? ARE YOU INSANE?"

"Well, I never thought about it. I mean, I sort of am, in an evil-villian kind of way."

"THAT'S FINE! YOU PAY DOUBLE!"

"I'll pay you after the assisted suicide," grinned Ganondorf.

"OK!"

"Before we start, may I ask you one more thing?"

"SURE!"

"Why are you always shouting?"

"You mean I can talk normally? Hey, thanks!"

Wow, that was a short and subpar chapter. Hopefully the next one will be better.

capgamer