CHAPTER 3
A.K.A. Can I get a Shot of Rat Poison?
As the world came to, Ganondorf looked around. "Oh my, I guess I really am in hell. Everything is white." The nurse walked in.
"Why hello there, mister…" she flipped through a notebook and found his name. "…mister … uh… Danonpork?"
"Ganondorf," he corrected.
"It seems you were attacked by chickens, Mr. Gunandowoof."
"Ganondorf. I was trying to commit su-…"
"Don't speak. You'll lose too much blood!"
"That's the idea, sweetie."
L~A~T~E~R
Ganondorf lay in his room, thinking. "Maybe I could get him to… no, that wouldn't work. I would just end up here again. I never even knew Hyrule had a hospital. How am I going to commit freaking suicide?!"
"DID I HEAR THE S-WORD?!?!?!?" asked a doctor who had just walked in.
"No… I said suicide."
The doctor became ecstatic. "OH GOODY GOODY GUMDROP! I HAVE A NEW PATIENT! TO KILL! EFFECTIVELY! FOR A CHARGE! THAT MEANS PAYMENT! IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN…"
"What in the name of all that is dark and evil are you talking about?"
"I HELP PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE SEMI-LEGALLY!"
"Semi-?"
"THEY CAN'T BE FORCED SUICIDES OR DONE TO THOSE WHO ARE INSANE! UNLESS YOU PAY DOUBLE! THAT MEANS TIMES TWO OR DID YOU KNOW THAT? ARE YOU INSANE?"
"Well, I never thought about it. I mean, I sort of am, in an evil-villian kind of way."
"THAT'S FINE! YOU PAY DOUBLE!"
"I'll pay you after the assisted suicide," grinned Ganondorf.
"OK!"
"Before we start, may I ask you one more thing?"
"SURE!"
"Why are you always shouting?"
"You mean I can talk normally? Hey, thanks!"
Wow, that was a short and subpar chapter. Hopefully the next one will be better.
capgamer
