Guy's Night Out

Chapter 12

Things at the Kamiya dojo were more or less back to normal, if you consider two grown, normally sensible people walking around in a daze, normal.

Genzai-sensai had collected the girls after lunch, and Yahiko had finished his chores. At the wise and advanced age thirteen, he figured he had better things to do than hang around the placeand watch Kenshin and Kaoru act like fools all day long. He left to find his neighborhood friends.

Besides, he figured, if he left them alone more, maybe they could just get it out of their system. Most girls Kaoru's age were married and had had at least one child, so he couldn't figure out why all the dancing around the subject of marriage between them.

"Don't most people get married?" he wondered to himself. "What's the big problem?" "Kaoru's not too ugly, I guess. At least Kenshin seems to think she's decent enough looking, judging from the way he's always staring at her. Why doesn't he just marry her? They live in the same house, anyway. Hmph, grown- ups think they're so smart, but they act really stupid sometimes!"

Back home the subjects of Yahiko's thoughts were still trying to pull themselves together after a very emotional confrontation in Kaoru's room earlier.

"And," Kenshin, thought to himself as was doing a minor repair to the dojo roof that afternoon, "I haven't even told her that Sano and I are going to being a little minor espionage for Saitou. Won't she be thrilled to hear that? I do believe I've had enough feminine temper tantrums for one day, that I have!"

He still couldn't quite believe that he'd been cornered into admitting his feelings for her like that. "Women and their tears," he thought, "Most effective final technique ever invented to disarm the other side."

Unbidden, Saitou's words from the other night came to him, "The only thing you fear is the heart of a woman, Himura. Your fear makes you foolish." He winced. "Maybe he's right, I've certainly been acting like a damn fool," he chastised himself.

"She keeps telling me that the past doesn't matter, that she loves me anyway, and proves it everyday. What do I do? I keep pushing her away. No wonder she feels unlovable, rejected. I'm punishing myself, and punishing her too. Why should she be punished for my sins, and at my own hands, to make it even worse?"

It was such a revolutionary thought that he found himself frozen in place, staring at nothing. He'd stunned himself with his own reasoning. "I'm done here anyway, I need to get down before I fall off the roof!"

Easily, he climbed down, dropping to the ground soundlessly. "Ahh! Kenshin!" Kaoru shrieked in suprise as he suddenly appeared before her. She'd been reading on the porch quietly when he'd landed noiselessly a few feet away.

"You nearly scared me to death!" she gasped.

"I'm sorry, that I am, Kaoru-d..." he trailed off. From now on, he'd use that suffix only in front of others. It seemed silly and somehow inapprorpriate now to use such terms in private. After all, they'd shared intimacies that only engaged couples do for a few weeks now, even though he just now thought of it as such. He felt a pang of guilt.

He sat down on the step in front of her. The emotional revelations of the day had left him exhausted in a way that fighting and training rarely did. Kaoru looked the same. She had little puffs under her lovely dark blue eyes, and they still held a tinge of red from her earlier severe bout of crying.

She looked at his slumped shoulders as he sat there in front of her. His red head was bowed nearly to his chest, his arms rested heavily on his knees, and he looked, well, defeated. She felt a pang of guilt. "I've done this to him," she thought. "That wasn't the way I wanted it. I didn't want to have to force him to tell me his feelings. I wanted him to tell me because HE wanted to say it. Oh, this is so confusing." She was amazed to find tears in her eyes again. She would have sworn there were none left.

Behind him, Kenshin heard a small sound. He turned, and there were tears quietly trailing down her face again. "What's wrong NOW!" he thought to himself.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"I'm so sorry for the way I acted earlier, Kenshin, please forgive me." She sniffled a little and reached for a handkerchief to dab at her face. "I can be such a brat at times. I don't know how you stand me."

"You're not a 'brat'." He replied and came to sit down next to her. "You're a grown woman who has the courage to say what this unworthy one cannot. If I weren't such a fool, this would have never happened. If I could have had the courage and honesty to tell you what I feel without you practically having to threaten me, you would not be so frustrated with me."

She stared. "You always do that, you know."

"Do what?" he asked.

"Turn things around, take the blame. You don't have to do that. I'm guilty too. We deserve each other, I suppose, we're both idiots." She smiled a slightly trembling smile.

"Yes, I suppose we are," he said, smiling back. He suddenly felt lighter, at ease. It felt wonderful to sit and talk without any self-consciousness between them again.

Before he could react, she was hugging him around the neck and pressing her face into his shoulder. Slowly, his arms went around her and he returned the embrace. It felt right and comfortable, and he could feel the tension release in her shoulders and back as he made comforting circles with his hands. They sat that way for several minutes, enjoying the silence. "I love you, Kenshin." She said simply. "I love you, Kaoru." He whispered near her ear. It felt a little odd to say it out loud, but he knew he'd get used to it. In fact, since her reaction was to snuggle her head into his shoulder a little deeper and tighten her embrace for a second, he thought that he just might get used to such rewards. "There's something I need to tell you," he said a few moments later.

"What?" she said, still enjoying the pleasure of nearness.

"Remember last night when I told you that Sano and I had a drink with Saitou?" he asked.

"I think so." She replied, wondering where the conversation was now leading.

"Well, I need to tell you that Sano and I are going to be doing a little job for the police. Nothing important, just following a certain suspect individual to his contact."

"Why can't the police do this?" Kaoru wondered out loud.

"Because, he can't trust them, he found out that there is a gang informant among his own men."

"I see," she said, biting her lip a bit. "It's safe, right? I don't want anything to happen to you. I worry enough about you as it is."

"I don't expect it to be anything dangerous, although I understand that the man they are looking for has a lot of powerful connections in the opium black market and who knows what other nasty business?"

She nodded, "If you've given your word to help, then I won't complain. I'll be a good girl for a change." She smiled.

"So, you'll be fine when Sano and I go out again tonight?" he asked.

"Of course I'll be okay. And, having a little extra money will be nice too. You are going to be paid, aren't you?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, we were assured we'd be well-paid," he said.

"Good," she said. "Well, enough wool gathering, I suppose, there's things that need doing before the sun sets." She half-rose to get up and felt a strong hand pulling her back down onto the step.

"I'd like to sit here a few more minutes, if you don't mind," Kenshin said to her quietly. "Yes, that'd be fine," said Kaoru.

He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her near, putting his head on the shoulder next to him. "This feels right, ne?" he whispered.

"Yes, it does." She kissed the top of his head and inhaled the sweet smell of the herbs they used in the bath in his hair. She sighed. Going with an urge, she reached to untie the long ponytail of hair he wore in the back and his head jerked up as it came cascading over his shoulders. She reached out tentatively to run a hand through its silky, wavy texture.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered, wide eyed, pulling the tresses through her fingers and pulling gently through a few small tangles gained in the days activities.

"It's hair," he shrugged, a little embarrassed.

He'd always knew that people stared at his odd-colored hair, but 'beautiful' was never a term he would have used for it. "Strange," was the term he often used for it. Not for the first time he wondered about his untypical hair and eye color. Was it the result of having being fathered by a foreigner, as some had whispered behind his back? He'd never know. His parents had died when he was so young, he had only a few unfocused memories, and their faces where long gone from his mind. It amazed him still that women often found his coloring exotically attractive.

"Another thing on that very long list of things I do not understand about females," he thought. The feeling of her fingers on his scalp was so relaxing, he felt he might start to purr like the dojo's cat any second.

"Ah, that feels nice," he sighed, bending his head down further to receive more ministering from her gentle fingertips. He closed his eyes in bliss. Suddenly, he felt a gentle pressure urging his head down onto her lap. "Rest here," she said to him. He obliged and pressed his cheek against the clean smelling cotton of her summer kimono, inhaling and exhaling slowly until he felt quite drowsy. He drifted off into a light sleep, still feeling her hands soothing and stroking his hair. His last conscious thought was that he'd never felt so at peace.