Emma's POV
Diary,
It just seems so stupid now, I feel so horrible, I feel worthless, I feel. I feel like crap.
But instead of whining about how I feel, I'm going to tell you about Sean. The guy I could have killed.the guy who I might have killed.
Sean is still in a coma; he's in a trauma center. He has massive internal bleeding, his one lung is crushed, he has broken rib cages, his legs are broken, his one arm is broken, and as I told you before he may never walk again, that's if he ever wakes up. On his left leg he practically has no knee, I mean, the kneecap was completely shattered, and on the same leg he had no flesh from his mid calve all the way down (I assume from when the car was on him, I'm not sure). I found out all this from Manny, it turns out Jimmy has been going to see Sean every day after school and he's told everyone Sean's condition, but only because everyone cares. I haven't gone to school, I can't, I can't handle it. Mom says I wont have to go all week and Snake is getting my homework from my teachers for me. Everyone seems to understand it-
Oh God, I just wish Sean could wake up and see how everyone is pulling for him. Some lady came to the door today asking for money for the 'Sean Cameron Foundation'. It turns out Sean's family cant pay the medical bills (you have no idea how much surgery Sean has to go through), so the community is collecting funds for them. It's so sweet, but I kind of freaked on the poor lady.
"Hi, I'm from the Sean Cameron Foundation, and we were wondering if you could donate some money to help him. Sean is." she started as soon as I opened the door. I started sobbing right there.
" I know who Sean is!" I screamed at her. "And I know he might die! Just leave me alone!"
Then I kind of slammed the door in her face. I then fell to my knees sobbing. I can't help it, I'm actually crying as I write this. Just thinking that Sean might never wake up, just thinking I could never apologize to him, just thinking I might never be able to share a laugh with him, to hold his hand... GOSH this isn't fair! Why is everything so screwed up?!
I feel so guilty. I should be at the hospital, sitting next to Sean, holding his hand, but I can't go there. I cant, I don't want to see him like that. I want to see him as the night of our first date, as the day he stood up for me during my panther dance, the day I sprayed soda all over his face, even as I saw him smiling as he entered the dance with Ellie. Just anything but that last look before the car smashed into him. I'm sure visiting him at the hospital would change that, but I don't want to remember him lying in a bed, in a dark deep scary coma, with machines helping him live, helping him breath. I just don't want too. And now I'm talking as if Sean is dead. Of course, it won't surprise me if he doesn't make it.
I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I don't think Sean is going to live. He's a fighter (obviously he made a kid deaf), but this is too much.
Mom just got home. My stomach is churning; I know what I have to do. I'm going to the hospital to visit him. If mom will take me that is, I'm sure she will, she's been really cool about everything lately. I guess she knows what I am going through.
*Sigh* I'm gonna go. If I don't write tomorrow it's because either I'm too busy crying, I'm dead, or because I'm with Sean.
Goodnight
|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/|
NO REVIEW REPLIES! Sorry but I'm rushing out the door practically, I think my Mom is already leaving! Lol. Um..
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! THANKS SO MUCH! LOVE YA ALL!
My avatar at the-n.com is Benjisgrl6
THANKS AGAIN!
LATER
Diary,
It just seems so stupid now, I feel so horrible, I feel worthless, I feel. I feel like crap.
But instead of whining about how I feel, I'm going to tell you about Sean. The guy I could have killed.the guy who I might have killed.
Sean is still in a coma; he's in a trauma center. He has massive internal bleeding, his one lung is crushed, he has broken rib cages, his legs are broken, his one arm is broken, and as I told you before he may never walk again, that's if he ever wakes up. On his left leg he practically has no knee, I mean, the kneecap was completely shattered, and on the same leg he had no flesh from his mid calve all the way down (I assume from when the car was on him, I'm not sure). I found out all this from Manny, it turns out Jimmy has been going to see Sean every day after school and he's told everyone Sean's condition, but only because everyone cares. I haven't gone to school, I can't, I can't handle it. Mom says I wont have to go all week and Snake is getting my homework from my teachers for me. Everyone seems to understand it-
Oh God, I just wish Sean could wake up and see how everyone is pulling for him. Some lady came to the door today asking for money for the 'Sean Cameron Foundation'. It turns out Sean's family cant pay the medical bills (you have no idea how much surgery Sean has to go through), so the community is collecting funds for them. It's so sweet, but I kind of freaked on the poor lady.
"Hi, I'm from the Sean Cameron Foundation, and we were wondering if you could donate some money to help him. Sean is." she started as soon as I opened the door. I started sobbing right there.
" I know who Sean is!" I screamed at her. "And I know he might die! Just leave me alone!"
Then I kind of slammed the door in her face. I then fell to my knees sobbing. I can't help it, I'm actually crying as I write this. Just thinking that Sean might never wake up, just thinking I could never apologize to him, just thinking I might never be able to share a laugh with him, to hold his hand... GOSH this isn't fair! Why is everything so screwed up?!
I feel so guilty. I should be at the hospital, sitting next to Sean, holding his hand, but I can't go there. I cant, I don't want to see him like that. I want to see him as the night of our first date, as the day he stood up for me during my panther dance, the day I sprayed soda all over his face, even as I saw him smiling as he entered the dance with Ellie. Just anything but that last look before the car smashed into him. I'm sure visiting him at the hospital would change that, but I don't want to remember him lying in a bed, in a dark deep scary coma, with machines helping him live, helping him breath. I just don't want too. And now I'm talking as if Sean is dead. Of course, it won't surprise me if he doesn't make it.
I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I don't think Sean is going to live. He's a fighter (obviously he made a kid deaf), but this is too much.
Mom just got home. My stomach is churning; I know what I have to do. I'm going to the hospital to visit him. If mom will take me that is, I'm sure she will, she's been really cool about everything lately. I guess she knows what I am going through.
*Sigh* I'm gonna go. If I don't write tomorrow it's because either I'm too busy crying, I'm dead, or because I'm with Sean.
Goodnight
|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/|
NO REVIEW REPLIES! Sorry but I'm rushing out the door practically, I think my Mom is already leaving! Lol. Um..
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! THANKS SO MUCH! LOVE YA ALL!
My avatar at the-n.com is Benjisgrl6
THANKS AGAIN!
LATER
