Hahah yes that last chapter was a bit wrong. I didn't actually think about Ron and Ginny being brother and sister. ^.^'' Mostly because Draco is never calling her 'Ginny'! I guess that since I never am seeing 'Ginny' I didn't really realize it til y'know I got reviews! Oh well. The more weird-ness the better I say! Although next time no incest. lol! Really I apologize! And I've noticed that people have started referring to my story as 'the one where Harry's gay' lol! Which is completely awesome. I'm glad I got so many reviews for just the 3rd chapter! I'll do my thank-yous at the end of this chapter. ^.^ Anyway plz keep reading and...if you have ANY suggestions for my story plz tell me! I want to know what everyone thinks and some ideas on what they'd like to happen! Ok?! Good, good. Now onto the 4th chapter!
Draco led Hermione to the Slytherin common room. He reached his portrait and it glared down at him.
"Draco Malfoy is a sexy bitch," he said politely.
The portrait nodded and swung open. He could almost tell that Hermione was rolling her eyes.
The common room was empty save two fat bodies sitting comfortably on the couch. They looked expectantly at him.
"Crabbe, Goyle what the hell are you doing?" Draco asked in a fairly neutral tone. He didn't really care what they were doing.
"We was waiting for you Draco!" Crabbe said, "Where 'ave you been? Snape was pacing around like a worried mutti. Finally we told him that you'd probably be gone for a fairly good time. He glared and pumped off toward your room."
"He did what?" Draco asked. Why the hell would Snape go into his room?
"So what," Hermione yawned, "Let's just get this over with. I'm tired anyway."
"Well what the hell are you doing Draco?" Goyle asked, sneering at Hermione, "Bringing a mudblood into Slytherin's common room."
"Hey!" Draco said walking up to Goyle and kicking him in his fat gut, "Why don't you shut the hell up about Hermione."
Crabbe and Goyle looked over at Draco with shock.
"Are you..." Crabbe said quietly, "defending her?"
Draco blinked at the poor guy. He really was slow.
"Honestly Crabbe," Draco frowned, "You're as bad as Ron sometimes."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"So are you defending the mudblood or not?!" Goyle wanted to know.
"Well duh," Draco said, "And if you call her a mudblood again," Draco smiled sweetly, "I'll break all of your fingers slowly," Draco pointed to each finger on his hand, "and then hex you so bad you'll forget your names. Get it?"
Crabbe and Goyle stared at him for a short amount of time and then shook their heads rigorously, making sure they sent the message to Draco that they understood.
Draco nodded and glanced back at Hermione, winking at her. He watched her blush crimson and then walked toward his room. Hermione stopped him in the hallway.
"Draco what did you do?" Hermione asked quietly, "That was uncalled for. Really you could have left them. I don't mind. It's ok! Really I'm totally fine. You shouldn't have--"
"Hermione relax," Draco said, shaking her by her shoulders, "You sound like you're going to pop or something. It's scary really."
"But I just don't--" she started.
"Yes, yes," Draco said, "I know. You think it's so weird that I'm standing up for you blah, blah. I don't care. So just leave things to me and don't flip out."
Hermione sighed, "...Ok..."
"Yup that's what I wanted to hear!" Draco grinned, "Now how 'bout a 'thank you Draco'?"
"...Thank you Draco."
"You're the best Draco!"
"You're the best Draco."
"Let's have sex Draco!"
"Don't push it."
"Ok, ok," Draco sighed, "Almost thought I could get you there."
"Right..."
They approached Draco's room and he swung open the door. Both of them were staring straight at Professor Snape who was rummaging through Draco's chest. He had his hands tightly curled around a bottle of 'Herbal Essence scented floral breeze for wizards with thick hair.' Snape looked up, looking slightly guilty, and tried to hide the bottle behind him.
"You're stealing my shampoo!" Draco howled, "That's a violation of nature!"
"What does nature have to do with anything?" Hermione asked.
"Oh you shut up! My shampoo is the love of my life! How dare you disturb its resting place?!" Draco said, tackling Snape, "Unhand my hair products!"
"Draco!" Hermione said, walking over to him and trying to pry him off of Snape.
"Malfoy you have no idea how easy you get it!" Snape sniffled, "Why can't you let the less fortunate borrow your hair products?! Dammit I want nice hair just like everybody else!"
Draco stifled a laugh and snorted instead, "No offense Professor, but nothing will help your case."
"Why you--"
"Alright that's enough," Hermione said, pulling out her wand, "Silentium!"
The room quieted and Draco and Snape found that they couldn't speak.
"Honestly," Hermione sighed, "You two are acting like children. Here's what's going to happen. Draco you're going to help him with his hair. Don't be an ass about it; just do it. And Snape you're not ever going to come into Draco's room uninvited again ok? Stealing isn't the right thing to do."
They both cringed and nodded. She then took the spell off of them.
Draco stood up and brushed his cloak off, "Do I have to help you tonight?"
"Please?" Snape pleaded.
"Why? Got a hot date tonight or something?"
Silence.
"You're shitting me," Draco laughed, "You?! Have a date?!"
"Malfoy don't make me take points off of my own house..." Snape warned.
"So," Hermione asked, "Who is it?"
Draco was still laughing and Snape looked at the floor nervously. She almost thought she saw him blush.
"...That's...none of your business Granger," Snape said hotly.
"Aw c'mon!" Draco said, wiping the tears out of his eyes, "I'm helping you with your hair so I think the least you can do is tell me who your love muffin is!"
"...No!" Snape said, "Now help me with my hair!"
"You're such a bully," Hermione sighed.
"50 points from Gryffindor!"
"What the--"
"50 more points from Gryffindor!"
"That's so--"
"Hermione!" Draco said, slapping his hand over her mouth, "Shut up already!"
"Feh," Snape said, stalking off out of Draco's room, "Well come on!"
Draco and Hermione gathered up all of Draco's hair things and put them in a trunk and dragged it along behind Snape. They finally got to Snape's room and he took off a few of his outer layers.
"So...what all do you have in here?" Hermione asked Draco, flopping her end of the trunk down.
"We're running out of time!" Snape howled, "Let's start! Now!"
Draco sat Snape down and got out his prized, gold rimmed comb and begin to try and brush Snape's hair.
"What the hell IS this thing?" Draco said, ripping out his comb, "I don't think that's part of your hair..."
"What are you talking about?" Snape asked, twisting his head.
Draco pushed his comb in Snape's face so he could examine the long black yarn like thing that was tangled on his comb.
"Oh...well...I don't know what that is."
"Good god," Draco said, "I cry for your hair. It's been abused."
"I think I see..." Hermione said peering in close to Snape's head, "Is that...a spider?"
"You have a spider's nest in your HAIR?!" Draco said flinging himself back away from Snape's head, "What the... When... How the hell is that possible?!"
"Well...I sleep down here...and there are spiders..." Snape said, trying to be helpful.
"...Forget I said anything," Draco said, "What's that over there?"
Draco pointed to something shiny poking out of the masses of grease referred to as Snape's hair.
"It kind of looks like..." Hermione said, poking it with a comb, "It looks like the blade of some scissors..."
"Oh I tried to get Dumbledore to give me a hair cut a few days ago but my hair sort of broke the blade..."
"That's bristles from a comb over there," Hermione pointed.
"That sort of looks like a leftover ham sandwich," Draco pointed.
"That's a quill over there," Hermione pointed.
"That's got to be Hedwig... How'd he get in there?" Draco asked.
"Yeah! That IS Harry's owl!" Hermione remarked, "Snape what is Harry's owl doing in your hair?"
"Urm," Snape coughed, "P-Potter's owl? I-I have no idea. I mean it's not like he sent me a love letter or anything. Really no."
Silence.
"Don't you b-believe me?!" Snape said.
"...He wrote you a love letter?!" Draco howled, "He's the essence of gay!"
"Look!" Hermione pulled out Hedwig, "Hedwig still has the love letter!"
Draco ripped it open and began reading aloud, "Professor Snape, I think it was fate, so I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to date?, you know I just want to mate ~.^"
Hermione turned pale and Draco put down the letter.
"Queen Harry is out to make me sick I think," Draco announced, while going into a corner of the room and hugging himself.
"It is sort of disturbing," Hermione shrugged.
"Can we ignore the letter and get back to my hair?!" Snape snapped.
"We can certainly not!" Draco said loudly, "If you're gay and you're having me get you spiffed up to meet Harry there's no way I'm doing it. I mean good god it's Harry! How can you be gay?!"
"Draco calm down," Hermione said, "You're shouting."
Draco walked over to Hermione and said, "Can I snog you?"
"What?" Hermione asked.
"I said can I snog you senseless?! I have to make sure that Harry does not get to me! I am straight! Forever!"
Then after laying on big fat kiss on Hermione and Hermione smacking him until he backed off, Draco walked back to Snape and began his rant again.
Meanwhile no one noticed that Madame Hooch had walked into Snape's room.
"Snape if you're gay then don't try and snog me too," Draco said.
"Snape? Gay? Are you kidding?" Hooch said, silencing the room, "What are you babbling about Draco?"
"Well...urm."
"Don't worry about him," Snape said, "Let's just go. Can we start our date now?"
"Well sure," Hooch answered.
"...Date..." Draco said, shocked. Both his jaw and Hermione's dropped.
A/N: Harry's everywhere! Ahhh!
Madame Plot Bunnie: Who says I'm on anything? ~.^ It is people like us who make the world go round! I am going to have a plot (eventually) and I've really been considering having this big plot change from Draco's good deed to Draco trying to stay straight! lol! Oh well. It'll come to me. (Hopefully!)
Dreaming One: I'm glad you laugh! That's the whole point! And I got the whole Jeanne/Gen/Jenny thing from myself actually. I couldn't remember Ginny's name for the life of me and I always called her something weird and my friends would be like 'ITS GINNY!' and I'd be like ok ok I got it really and then the next day 'so who's cast as Jean in HP2?' It really drove them mad. And yes please assume that Ron and Ginny aren't doing each other. .
Angel: Thank you! I'm glad it made you laugh. ^.^
Trillium: Sorry I didn't mean for it to be wrong. . But I'm glad you still thought it was funny!
Seka: Thank you for multiple reviews! And yes I guess Jinny and Ginny would sound the same but it's kind of hard to keep coming up w/ names that look fairly close to Ginny. ^.^ I got desperate! I'm glad you like the story! And I'm glad your sister likes it too!
Alecatg: Thank you very very much! I was really worried that I might make this story just sound stupid.
Miss.Hermione.G-Malfoy: Yay! Can I tell you something? I loved your review. lol! Probably the best review I've ever read. 'i love you and this story but you more *wink wink*' lol! I totally thought that was hilarous. lol! So thank you for reviewing! And please feel free to do it again ~.^
MIforever: Phew! I'm glad you laughed! ^.^
Ashley023: Thanks! I'll try to keep updating regularly! (If you can call this regularly!)
