I'm back after AGES of not updated! Sorry about that. I've been busy, I've been reading the 5th book and I've been having writer's block! lol. But I think I've developed a plot now. That's always good. Also this chapter will be a bit more serious than the other ones because I'm starting to thread the plot into this chapter. Yay for me! But there will still be some humor in here. It's not completely dry!

And what did everything think about the 5th book? I'm curious to know. ^.^

Disclaimer: Nope, nope I don't own HP but I do own this shiny new plot! *hugs plot*

Draco and Hermione finally escaped Queen Harry and were walking tiredly to the Slytherin common room; still free of Snape Draco noticed.

"So..." Hermione said, trying to start some friendly conversation, "Where am I going to sleep?"

"In my room. Naturally."

"But...I don't really know how comfortable I'll be sleeping in a room with Crabbe and Goyle."

"I'll have them sleep on the couches."

"O-Oh... You don't have to do,"

"They'll sleep on the couches."

"...Right. So I'm to sleep on the floor?"

"You can sleep in my bed."

"Your bed?! Draco...don't get any funny ideas. I'm not,"

"I know perfectly well," Draco said, rubbing his bruises.

"Well then stop teasing me. Where am I going to sleep?"

"My bed!"

"Draco."

"Don't get that tone. I know what I'm doing."

Hermione sighed irritably and they went inside of the common room and straight to Draco's room. Crabbe and Goyle were sitting unceremoniously on their respective beds, staring blankly at one another.

Draco glared at both of them and they noticed Hermione. This time they kept their mouths shut.

"You'll be sleeping on the couches tonight," he said, a final tone in his voice.

Crabbe nodded weakly and Goyle gathered up some blankets. They both brushed past Draco quickly and soundlessly. Draco closed the door and locked it behind them. He didn't want Pansy to try to sneak into his bedroom tonight.

"Well that was...awkward," Hermione said.

"Not as much as it could have been," Draco said.

"...I'm tired," Hermione said.

"Me too," Draco nudged Hermione over to his bed and they both sat down, "This is mine. You'll sleep here. On this side."

"You know I could just sleep in Crabbe or Goyle's bed."

"I don't honestly think you would want to," Draco said, smiling slyly, "You don't want to know what they do in those beds."

Hermione paled.

"Now you've got it," Draco laughed, smacking her back.

"That's sick."

"We're just pervy teenage boys," Draco laughed, "Although Queen Harry is more horny than Crabbe, Goyle and myself put together."

"That's...true. I guess."

"Anyway Crabbe and Goyle don't like to change their bed sheets. So please don't sleep in them," Draco said, "Me, on the other hand, change them weekly."

"That's always nice to know."

"Just stick to that part of the bed then," Draco said, rolling over to the other side, "And I'll stick to my side."

Draco pulled out the bed sheets and snuggled underneath of them. He didn't bother changing into nightclothes. They didn't actually have time to get any of Hermione's Gryffindor things thanks to Potter. So she didn't have anything to change into.

Hermione settled in on her side. Draco watched her back. He wasn't too tired now that he was in bed.

"Granger?"

"Yes Draco?" she murmured.

"I'm not sleepy."

"I am."

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"Tell me about... Tell me about muggles."

Hermione glanced over her shoulder at Draco. He looked back at her. She sighed and rolled over on her other side to face him.

"What about muggles?"

"Everything."

"That's a lot."

"We have the whole night."

"...Well...muggles have lots of neat gadgets. They have computers, radios, television, telephones, electric lamps," Hermione started.

"You know that I don't know what any of those vocabulary words are, right?"

"Computers are little machines that you can type on. You can write stories on them. And then, if you have the Internet on your computer, you can connect your computer to other people's computer and talk to them on it and send them things that you have on your computer, like stories and pictures. Radios are little boxes that pick up radio waves and play music live. Using radios you can also tune into to talk shows and things. Televisions are bigger boxes with a screen. They let you watch shows. Telephones let you talk to people who aren't anywhere near you. Electric lamps work just like 'Lumos' except you don't need a wand or a spell. You just flick a switch and the lamp turns on and you have light."

"Interesting..." Draco said honestly, "Do you have any of those things?"

"I have all of them. They aren't too expensive. Most muggles have all of them."

"Really? What sort of things do rich muggles own then?" Draco asked.

"Huge mansions to live in. Equally huge indoor heated swimming pools that they never use. Clunky gold jewelry with thousands of jewels stuck in them. Designer clothes. Maids to clean their house. Chefs to cook their meals."

"Sounds the same."

"What sounds the same?"

"Rich muggles sound the same as rich wizards. My family owns a huge mansion with a huge swimming pool that I haven't used since I started going to Hogwarts. My mother owns enough jewelry to fill an entire library to the ceiling. All of us have specially made clothes. We have house elves to clean our house and cook our food."

"I guess they do. Which leads me to the question: Why don't you like them then? If you all are the same what is the problem with them? Why do purebloods hate them so much?"

"I don't know. I guess that even though we're similar...they still don't know anything about magic. Magic is a wizard's life, Hermione. We find it a bit insulting that they don't even know it's out there."

"That's not a reason to hate someone..." Hermione sighed.

"Yes, yes I know," Draco said, "But it's how it is."

There was a brief silence.

"Tell me about you," Hermione said.

"Me?"

"That's right."

"Well my name is Draco Malfoy. I'm 16. I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I like long walks in the sand. My favorite food is well done pepper steak with a small side of spaghetti. My favorite drink is butterbeer. I'm looking for a pretty girl who I can talk to late at night. Oh wait, I've found one."

Hermione blushed, "That's not what I meant."

"But you were just asking for that response," Draco smiled.

"Be serious."

"Oh if I have to be," Draco said, "What do you want to know about me?"

"...Do you like your family?"

"Like is such a strong word..." Draco sighed, "No I guess I don't. I like my mother but not particularly my father. I like my cousin and my uncle and my deceased aunt. Well at least I used to like my deceased aunt. I don't really care for her much now since she's dead and all. But if she were a ghost I would still like her! But she's not. And anyway would she be the same if she were a ghost? I don't really know. It would be a little,"

"Draco. Stop rambling," Hermione smiled.

"Am I?"

"You most definitely are."

"Ah right. Sorry."

"It's so weird that you don't love your family. I love my family."

"Well your family reunions don't consist of everyone in black cloaks killing and torturing random people now does it?"

"No."

"Exactly. We don't usually prance around, holding hands, and have barbecues."

"You should."

"It would be very weird if we did. I can't imagine holding hands with my father...or barbecuing something we plan on eating..."

"I don't want to know what you mean by that."

"Well if you start to look groggy I'll tell you. It'll keep you up for a couple of nights, guaranteed."

"Er...thanks."

"Do you have a crush on Potter? I mean I know you do... You confessed with Tinny. But now that you've learned he's gay and all... Well he's bisexual now but do you still like him?"

"I don't know."

"Okay then. Who else do you like?"

"U-um... "

"Don't say Ron. You can't say Ron."

"I don't like Ron..."

"Good. Then all is right in the world."

"I-I like... Well... I-I like...you. Sort of. Don't smile at me like that. I know what you're thinking. Draco that grin has pervert written all over it. Be mature."

"Oh fine," Draco said, suppressing his grin, "But I knew it."

"Then who do you like Draco?"

"I like my girlfriend," Draco said, "Lucky of Ravenclaw. Even if she grows up to be a stalker."

"And...T-that's it?"

"Yup. That's the only person I like."

"Oh," Hermione said, all of the features on her face seemed to frown and darken a bit.

"Are you going to ask me who I love?"

"Who do you love Draco?" Hermione asked, sort of mechanically.

"The only person I love is Hermione Granger. Even if she's a complete bookworm and even though she goes spastic and smacks me a lot and even though she doesn't like coffee."

Hermione's eyes got big and her lips wobbled. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, "Really?"

"I didn't stutter."

"Oh Draco," she cried, putting her hands over her face.

Draco sighed and scooted closer to her. He put his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest.

"C'mon don't tell me you thought I wasn't going to say 'I love you too!'" Draco said, patting her head softly.

"I don't know what I was thinking," Hermione sniffed, her voice slightly muffled.

"Well I meant it. Besides! We have hidden psychic love powers! I won't let bisexual Harry claim you as his whore who pops out babies!"

She giggled softly.

"So let's get some sleep. I'm suddenly tired."

"Okay," Hermione said, bringing her head up to smile at him, tears still fresh on her cheeks, "But can you just hold me?"

"I wasn't planning on letting go."

Review whores unite!

Hope ya liked this chapter. I know it was a bit more serious than usual.

Imperfectionist: Yes lol. It's kinky but so is Harry!

Crystal Princess: Thanks! Your story is good too! that's why I reviewed it ^.^

BellethePhilosopher'sCookie: Wow thanks! but don't hurt yourself falling off those chairs. ~.^

Miss.Hermione.G-Malfoy: Yay! I did miss ya! lol I don't know why I'm so funny. I guess I'm just really weird. lol My ideas all come from my perverted little brain. It's my hormone's fault. lol I like writing humor stories although usually it's hard for me to think of a plot. I like pie...

Frodo-Lover: Hello Erry-kins! Lucius is married! You naughty girl. And Snape is all grown up and dating now. *tear* You have Will to do that. Thank you. I know I rock. *modesty* ^___^

Critic: Thanks. I don't write to keep them in character! lol. That's JK's job.

Madame Plot Bunnie: Thank you! I like your story. I'm going to go check on it now and see if you updated! Which I'm LOVING your Draco/Herm one so keep updating okay?! ^.^

~The Simon Cowell of Fanfiction.net~: My what a long penname! lol. Thanks! I know this chapter wasn't as funny as the last but, I'll say it again, I'm trying to bring the plot in and not just random running around. ^.^

blue: Blue my favorite color! Hello and thank you! I'm glad you think I write well. I went to that site and reviewed your story. I hope you got it. ^.^ Keep going!

DeLovesTomFelton: Thanks. How about replace Hermione with Julie?! lol! And YOU missy better get well soon! Erry almost gave me a HEART ATTACK when she told me you were hurt! I'm sending your mum AND your brother get well cards! So there!

Brin: hehehe Thanks hehehe

Trillum: Thanks. Insanity is the best you know! I'm going to have fun with Dumbledore. If you didn't think I could be more perverted than I already am with this story then you're sooooo wrong. *evil cackle* The next chapter should be up to par with insanity again. ^.^

ManOfPeace88: Gay Harry is the best. But then again I don't like Harry. (Have you noticed? ^.^) Hee hee thanks!

Rubber Duki: I can be Queen Insanity. ^.^ And did I mention I LOVE your penname?? Rubber Duki! WAI!

Toms Girl: Thank youuuu! Thank you for reviewing all my stories really. I'm glad you thought it was funny. I like making people laugh. (Apparently I'm good at it!) I'm putting Dumbledore in the next chapter and you won't want to miss that. ^.^ So come see me next chap!

eth: I like whacky! Thanks!

Malferz: That's okay. You didn't offend me. I know it was going no where. That is why I'm making it go somewhere now! Bwahaha! As long as you laughed all is well. Thanks for reviewing!