Part 5
Opposition
Maria leaned back into the high backed armchair nestled in the corner of Michael's coffee shop and took another sip of her favored tea. There was something different about it today, something a little… off.
Smiling up at the man now definitely titled 'boyfriend' staring at her from across the room, she tilted her head and pointed at the mug, mouthing 'What is it?' towards him.
He only shrugged and tossed her a secretive smile, one that she had no intention of being satiated with until she heard the clamoring of Tess and Liz approaching and pushed aside the issue of tea flavorings for her planned meeting with them.
"Hey Mommy," Tess called when she was a few feet away from the table.
"Tess," Liz whispered urgently, grasping the blonde girl's arm as she glanced around furtively. "He'll hear you."
"It's okay," Maria laughingly interrupted them. "He knows, I told him."
"You what?" Liz exclaimed.
"I told him I was pregnant, last night."
"Go you," Tess said approvingly, collapsing into a chair with a loud sigh. "So you're free to poke him now?"
"I am ignoring you."
"Whatever."
"Wait," Liz interjected, taking a seat in another chair at the table. "I thought you weren't going to tell him."
"No, I was always going to tell him," Maria said hesitantly. "I told you that."
"Yeah Lizzie, besides, the old beach ball under the shirt story was only going to pass for so long."
Shooting death rays towards Tess, Liz frowned before turning to Maria. "I just thought you were going to wait, see if this was really what you wanted."
"It is what I wanted… what I want. I'm sure about him and besides, he was just great about it."
"Well I still think you should have waited."
"Why?" Tess asked.
"Because," Liz said slowly, staring at Tess as if to wish the girl into oblivion. "She just expects everyone to be fine with this, and it's not easy for people."
"Hang on, over here chica," Maria called, waving her hand towards Liz. "Talk to me if you've got something to say. Who is it hard for?"
"Everyone!" Liz exclaimed, her voice rising several degrees as her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. "You just all of a sudden up and decide you are going to have a baby and you could care less what anyone else thinks or says or… it's not easy for people to accept it, that's all I'm saying."
Staring at her obviously flustered friend for a long moment, Maria chose her words carefully as she fought to keep her own emotions in check. "This decision was not one I made lightly, you know that. But it was mine and only mine; it has nothing to do with anyone else and I've never made it that way."
"Yes you have!" the brunette cried.
"How?" Maria demanded.
"When you…. well just by… just the way you talk about it, okay? You act like it's no big deal to just poof, get pregnant and it's a huge deal and you can't expect everyone to just be fine with it and not react. It's just selfish!"
"Selfish?" Tess asked wide-eyed while Maria stared silently across the table at her friend.
"Yes, I… I think you are being selfish," Liz reaffirmed, if somewhat shakily. "Admit it, you only care about yourself and how this baby makes you feel, you don't give a damn how it affects everyone else." Her final words were choked by a sob escaping her lips as she pressed her hand tightly to her mouth and rose quickly from her chair. "I've got to go," she mumbled, grabbing her purse as she rushed from the coffee shop.
"Whoa," Tess said slowly, staring at the retreating form of one best friend while the other sat beside her just as stunned. "Who pissed in her Corn Flakes?"
"Tess."
"What? I'm just saying, the girl obviously has issues."
"Maybe," Maria said quietly, staring down at her hand still gripping the mug of tea tightly. "Or maybe she has a point."
"Ria," Tess urged, reaching out to place a sympathetic hand on the girl's knee. "She had no right to say that to you, whatever jealousy issues she's dealing with are hers, the least she could do is talk to you about them, not attack."
"What jealousy issues?"
"Oh come on, you know," Tess said off-handedly, leaning back in her chair. When Maria shook her head in response, she continued. "Liz has always had the perfectly planned life, you know that. The first week I met her she showed me her mapped out five-year plan—it had graphs, for Christ's sake!"
Maria let a small smile fight its way through the melancholy settled on her face, quickly seeing it replaced with an even larger frown as she began to see where Tess was going with her explanation.
"She always planned to go to college, get a fabulous job, meet a terrific guy; have the perfect wedding, perfect house, perfect kids… all before 30. Now she's 27 and instead of her being a wife and mother she's watching the two of us go through it. We're living her dream life, it can't be easy."
A tear dripped from the corner of Maria's eye, her emotions a mix of anger and regret as she recognized the truth in Tess's words. "So you think she was right in saying that?"
"Hell no, I think she's a bitch!"
"Don't say that," Maria pleaded softly.
"Oh come on," Tess urged. "You know I don't mean it, but she called you selfish, that's just wrong."
"Maybe."
"Hang on. Where's that hunk of yours?" Tess said suddenly, turning to stand from her chair.
"What? No wait!" Maria cried softly, wiping at her teary eyes furiously as Tess headed across the shop. "Jesus, no," she moaned, shaking her head as she watched her former best friend point Michael towards the table. The last thing she needed was to explain further tears to him; he probably already thought she was a cry-baby, now to see her weeping uncontrollably in public? He was going to dump her in under a minute.
"What's up?" Michael asked gruffly as he took the seat Tess had vacated.
"Oh, uh… nothing, uh… nothing really," Maria mumbled, keeping her face tipped down towards her mug to avoid any chance of him seeing her red-rimmed eyes.
"Hey," he prodded, reaching out to nudge her leg lightly. "You suddenly gone shy on me or something? Cause I don't think I can date you if you lose that acerbic wit."
His words brought an unwilling smile to her face as she raised her head tentatively, blushing as she knew the full extent of her watery eyes were evident. "You think you can date me if I keep crying like a baby?" she asked lamely.
"Hmm, good question," he said thoughtfully. Pushing against the chair with his hands, he half stood as he announced, "Nah, I think the tears are the final line, sorry, not interested."
Maria couldn't control herself as fire flashed in her eyes and she pulled herself up to full height to face him. "Well you can just…" she snapped, stopping as she saw the teasing smirk on his face. Sinking back into her chair in defeat, she blushed further as he sat down again. "You can just get out before it gets too tough," she mumbled.
"What?" he questioned, thoroughly confused by her statement.
"Michael," she sighed, leaning forward to stare into his eyes. The slight courage the action took only lasted a moment and she dropped her gaze as she muttered, "You should just leave. This is only going to screw up your life like it has mine. Just forget about me, okay?"
"Okay, sure," he said easily, shrugging his shoulders as he eyed her carefully. "I mean it's not like I'm invested in this or anything, right? Just walk away, simple."
Working his jaw as he watched her complete lack of reaction to his agreement, he reached out to place his hand beneath her chin, tipping her gaze towards his as he examined her carefully. "I thought I was supposed to be the one with the stony comebacks. You trying to steal my moves, or what?"
"I'm not trying to steal anything," she said softly. "I'm just trying to do the right thing. Leave me alone, it's for the best."
"For who?" he asked incredulously. "Come off it, I saw you fighting with Liz, what has this got to do with us?"
"Nothing… I mean, everything… I mean… Oh I don't know what I mean, okay? I don't know what I'm trying to say and I don't have a clue how I'm supposed to feel, just that Liz so delicately pointed put my utterly selfish behavior in choosing to have this baby and now I'm trying to do the right thing and let you off the hook. You don't have to feel obligated to stay with me because I'm with child… just go, cut your losses and go."
Michael stared at the woman he had just recently began referring to as his girlfriend and assembled his next words carefully; there was no way in hell he could walk away from this relationship as easily as she proposed, and he had the sneaking suspicion that she couldn't either, no matter how much confidence she tried to exude at the moment.
"You know," he started slowly. "You sure talk a lot of nonsense for a sensible person."
"What?"
"Nonsense, all of it. I can see why you're so good at writing fiction, cause the crap's just pouring out of your mouth today."
"What is your problem?" Maria cried, her mouth gaping open as she reacted to Michael's harsh words. "I'm trying to do the right thing here, you're just being… you're just an a-ss!"
"Thank you," he exclaimed. "The first sensible thing you've said since I sat down."
Two pairs of eyes glinted with fury as the so obviously perfect for each other couple faced off across the tiny table. Michael was the first to break, cursing himself as he gave in but assuming correctly that Maria was far too damaged for one day to admit defeat.
"Come on," he said softly. "Whatever Liz said I don't care. I love you, okay? Pregnant or not I want…"
"You love me?" she echoed with a whisper.
It was his turn to blush as he dropped his head and squirmed slightly in his seat. "Well, I just…" Swallowing heavily, he shook the hair from his eyes as he faced her penetrating gaze bravely. "Yeah, I love you," he stated firmly. "And I could care less if Liz thinks you're selfish; I think you're beyond brave, and I wanna be part of this."
"I… I don't know what to say," she mumbled, fresh tears building as she stared at him wide-eyed. "I guess… I guess I should say I love you too?"
"You guess?"
"N…no, I… I," she stammered as her voice, thick with tears, cracked beneath the strain of holding the wave back. "I do, I love you, I… I think I loved you before I even knew your name," she admitted as wet eyes revealed that she was losing the battle with her emotions yet again. "I just don't want you to get hurt by this."
"I'm a big boy, I can handle a little opposition, besides… who's going to say anything to me?"
"You're right," she said softly, smiling as she let the realization that the new man in her life really wanted to be in her life sink in. He loved her, he'd said it… and first! And he was right, why would anyone have a problem with him dating a pregnant woman, besides Liz, no one had a problem with her, right?
"You know, you think you're pretty smart don't you?" she asked through her grin.
"No I don't, I think I'm brilliant actually," he tossed back easily.
"I guess I can't argue with that logic," she mused, taking another sip of her tea before placing it on the table. "By the way, what is in that today? It tastes different."
"You like?"
"I love! But I can't place it."
"It's cinnamon."
"Chamomile, mint, and cinnamon?" Maria asked, wrinkling her nose at the noxious sounding concoction.
"Yep," Michael confirmed. "But just a pinch, it's supposed to help your metabolism, I heard that pregnant women need that."
"You heard?" she asked incredulously.
"Don't push it, okay?" he laughed, standing from the chair to hold out his hand for her. "Let's just get out of here." Right now all he wanted was to get her alone in one of their apartments, hell, even his car would do, he just needed a little privacy after their completely public declarations for each other.
"Okay, but Tess…"
"Is long gone."
Looking around, Maria confirmed that Tess had indeed left the shop at some point. "Remind me to thank my sister-in-law, will you? That is, of course, after I kill her."
Laughing, Michael took her hand and led her from the shop. This hadn't exactly been the way he pictured telling her he loved her, in fact until the words were spoken he wasn't sure he was even aware that he would say it, well yet at least… but in the moment he knew that it was right, and he was sure that he had the feelings to back it up.
Now he just had to deal with a certain pair of siblings who would doubtlessly freak when they heard the news of Maria's 'condition'. As they walked out of the coffee shop, Michael could already feel his cell phone vibrating in the clip on his belt. He smiled down at the woman walking by his side and decided to ignore it… the wrath of Isabel be damned.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael tipped the bottle of beer to his mouth, letting the cool liquid chase his anger down his throat. He'd managed to avoid her call for a full 24 hours but at some point he began to wonder if there wasn't something else wrong and finally caved to answer his phone. There'd been nothing wrong of course, just the sickly sweet invitation to 'stop by' her apartment that afternoon, as if he really had the option of declining.
Now he sat on the couch nursing the Budweiser Alex had left him with, while Max sat beside him clearing his throat nervously and Isabel continued to bustle about the kitchen. For a fleeting moment, he'd actually believed that today was about nothing more than his brother and sister wanting to get together; the moment he'd walked in the door to see the two of them whispering furtively about their latest discovery, he'd known that his initial belief was the correct one.
"So," Isabel said a little too loudly, interrupting his thoughts as she set a large bowl of chips down on the table before him. "How are things going between you and Maria?"
"Why don't you ask Max?" Michael responded coolly.
"Wha… what would I know?" his younger brother whimpered.
"Oh come on," Michael sighed, grabbing a handful of the greasy snack as he sat back on the couch casually. "They had their little cat fight in my shop Maxwell. I'm sure Liz ran right to you and confessed the big secret."
"This is not about Maria and Liz," Isabel interjected, shooting Max a blatant glare that said he had left out this pertinent little detail. "It's just about Maria… and you. She's pregnant?"
"Yeah she is," Michael replied calmly. "Sorry I didn't tell you myself, I guess I forgot that it was none of your business."
"Michael."
"Isabel, consider this your only warning, we are not talking about this."
"But…"
"No friggin' buts," he said loudly, grabbing his beer to take another long swig. "This is not about her little sister—everything is not going to be about her for the rest of my God damn life."
"I know that, I do," Isabel pleaded, staring at Max for support as she wavered in her previously well-planned argument. "I just think you have to consider the consequences."
"What consequences?" Michael queried, rising from the couch to walk across the room. "She's pregnant, okay? It's not mine and I don't even know how much she wants me to be there, but if she does, then I will… it's that simple."
"Is it?" Max asked softly.
"Yes, it is," his brother replied sternly. "And let me just congratulate you on brother of the year while I'm at it. You can't keep a secret to yourself for more than five minutes? How old are you? 12?"
"But I… I…"
"Stop it, both of you," Isabel interjected loudly. "We are not trying to fight with you Michael, we just want you to think about…"
"Think about what?" he asked, his anger obvious although his voice still held a slim fragment of composure. "Think about whether I want to wait another five years until I maybe meet another girl that is perfect for me but who happens to not already be pregnant? Why? So I can knock her up myself? Please…"
Standing from her chair, Isabel couldn't mask the tears that welled in her eyes as she faced off against her older brother. "I just want what's best for you, you know that?"
"Well did you ever think that I am the best judge of what's best for me?"
"Of course, I just…"
"Look," he interrupted, holding his hand out to stop any further attempts at the pitiful explanations Isabel was providing. "I know Kara was important to you, hell, she was everything to me, but she's gone and nothing's ever going to change that."
"Maybe something…"
"No!" Michael roared suddenly, shattering the forced calm that had descended upon the room. "You put her on this pedestal that she never deserved, even she'd tell you that, and you have no idea what really happened back then so just drop it."
"But you told us what happened, she couldn't get pregnant so you… you…" Max attempted.
"Go on, say it," Michael dared him. "We all know it. She couldn't get pregnant so I left her. I mean, that's what had to have happened, right? What other possible explanation could there be for the 'super' couple getting a divorce."
"Michael," Isabel whispered. "If there's another explanation…"
"No," he muttered, turning away from his siblings as he shook his head in disgust. "No other explanation, just you believing the lies and me living with the guilt."
"Lies?" Isabel mumbled incomprehensibly.
"Yes… lies. All of it was one big lie, okay?"
Michael was panting from the effort of fighting off their attack. That they had never meant harm in their prodding escaped him as he was forced to relive the day that his entire universe swung around on its axis and landed in a direction that he neither recognized nor craved. Backed into a corner by his startling revelation that what his family believed to be the truth about his life was a fabrication, he suddenly felt as if the room had shrunk, trapping him in the confines of an enclosed space with two crazed creatures craving even the tiniest fragment of truth from him.
"I am not talking about this," he muttered, lowering his gaze to stare dumbly at the beer still clutched in his hand as he spoke to no one in particular.
"Okay," Isabel said softly, slowly moving towards him across the distance he had so carefully placed between them.
"I am not telling you what happened," he continued, a slight tremor evident in his arm as his grip tightened on the bottle.
"It's okay," she repeated, closing the remaining feet separating them as she gingerly reached out to remove the glass object from his hand. Gently, she placed her hand atop his, her touch soothing enough to relax his muscles, the bottle dropping easily, safely, into her hold.
"I am not going back there," he murmured beneath his breath, the quivering from his arm moving into his chest as his entire body began to convulse.
"You don't have to," she whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder as she waited to gauge how much of a reaction from her he was willing to accept.
Stiffening beneath the new contact on his body, Michael straightened his stature as he stared down the caring eyes examining him, wincing beneath the sheer love residing there as he shifted his gaze quickly to Max and back again.
When Kara had told him the news that she was leaving all those years before, he'd only had minutes to react before his 'loving' family had descended upon him, attempting to console him while they in fact smothered his very existence. Cursing them for their love was pointless but in the moment he had wanted to do it so badly. They were just concerned, anyone would be, but as much as he knew that, he also knew that he needed time before he could admit the real reason that his wife wanted to divorce him. That five years had passed without him ever admitting the truth to them wasn't his fault, was it?
"Look, I never told you the truth because I didn't want you to hate her, okay? She couldn't help the way she felt, and I wasn't going to damn her even more than she damned herself."
Neither of his siblings spoke as they watched him cautiously from their respective positions.
Swallowing heavily, Michael summoned his last strains of strength to admit the nightmare that was his life to the two people closest to him. "I didn't break up with her because she couldn't get pregnant. I wanted kids. She left because she didn't."
The instantaneous silence that settled over the room roared through Michael's ears. Gauging the reaction on their faces would have been a good move if he was able to force himself to think. Lying to them about Kara so long ago had never been a conscious decision. She'd told him she was leaving and they'd naturally asked him why? Blaming it on her when he felt as though it was his fault just wasn't an option, so he'd lied—he'd told them it was his decision; that her inability to bare children was just something he couldn't live with.
"Why?" Isabel mumbled, her face ashen as she dealt with the realization that she'd actually believed Michael's uncharacteristic actions.
"To protect her," he offered lamely.
"Michael…" Max chastised softly.
"Don't Max, don't start with me," he cautioned, unable to stand one word of the patented 'I'm disappointed in you' tone that his little brother had perfected.
"I'm not, I just… why would you protect her? I mean, if it was her fault…"
"Because she was my wife," Michael snapped, as if it were the most obvious reason to lie to your family. "It doesn't matter if we were only 18 when we took those vows, they meant something, and when she… well when she left I thought they always would."
"And now?" Isabel asked.
"And now they don't," he replied simply.
"Really?"
"Yes, Iz," he sighed. "They haven't meant anything for a long time. I just didn't want to dredge it all up."
"And now?"
"You sound like a broken record," Michael teased quietly.
Smiling a little, Isabel stepped towards the guarded man as she repeated her question. "I mean, why now? Why tell us now?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe cause you attacked me?"
She struggled to respond, stammering, "I… I…"
"I think she means we're sorry," Max said quietly, stepping up to his sister as her shoulders shook with threatened tears.
The obvious sincerity in his voice struck Michael heavily but he could only nod an acknowledgement at the pair; any attempt at words would have resulted in him resembling Isabel a little closely for his liking.
"You know… you know I think you'll make a great father, don't you? Natural or not, Maria's lucky to have you."
"Yeah well… she doesn't know the whole story yet," he mumbled, shaking his head as he thought about the task of telling his pregnant girlfriend that he was divorced.
"She's not going to care."
'Maybe.' Michael thought. Or maybe she'd think that a guy who's failed marriage was directly related to children wasn't worth the effort, either way he knew that he had to tell her, consequences be damned, if he was going to make this work, he had to start out honestly… he was just glad that she obviously liked kids.
