Diary of a Hapless Fan Fiction Writer
Phase 1:
* Today I got bored. I've watched LOTR like five hundred times and guess what? It's still the same! The Return of the King isn't coming out for almost a whole year, it seems, and honestly, I don't think that Viggo Mortenson is capable of playing a king - like role. It's too much of a stress for his character. He is *incredibly* sexy, though! He's my favorite, to be perfectly honest. I know he's like, forty-something and has a kid my age, but he is just so *sexy*!
Anyway, I got bored. So I invited my friend Robyn over for a sleepover. I got her addicted to LOTR when I dragged her to The Two Towers and she started asking "Maggie, where's FRODO?" even when he was in the scene. Frodo! Honestly, Frodo! Yech!
We stayed up until three in the morning weaving stories together for one another about our dream guys from LOTR. I had the most fun with this, especially since we kept inwardly insulting the other's hero. Then we went to bed. I told Robyn that for fun I would write up one of the fantasies we had thought up and email it to her later. I had no idea . . .
* Today I got bored again. It's winter break, and there is NOTHING TO DO! I was beginning to think that I should have gone to New Hampshire like I had been offered. Unable to think of nothing else to do, I made myself a sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly, so there.
As I ate my sandwich, I thought of the promise I had made to Robyn. It sounded like a good idea at the time, and I was bored, so I sat down at my computer. However, when I tried to remember some of the unfinished stories we had made up, the only one that could come to mind was a particularly insightful one Robyn had invented. I logged onto hotmail, went to "compose," and put "me" in the "To:" box, unsure that I would be sending this to Robyn, or anyone else, for that matter.
As I typed, I used code names. Aragorn was "Elessar" (poor code name, I know, but I couldn't think of anything better), Gandalf was "grey-white" (dorky, I know), Boromir was "Boro" (hmm I wonder who that could be!), Gimli was "the dirty mouth" (from the extended version of the "Fellowship." Robyn and I found Gimli's profanity more entertaining than you can imagine) and Legolas was "Rock" (the book "Love, A User's Guide," had a character who was a hot movie star named Orlando Rock. All through reading it, I thought of Orlando Bloom. You do the math).
The hobbits were given most strange code names. Frodo was "Underhill." Hmm I wonder who'd be able to guess that? Merry and Pippin's code names were derived from their full names Tolkien gave them, so Merry was "Adoc" (Meriadoc) and Pippin was "Grin" (Peregrin). Coincidently, the same went for Sam (he became "Wise"). I'm not sure why I thought I needed a code name for Sam, because Sam is such a normal name, but I'm only telling it like it is.
My "story" started out as a series of events, just listed in one long sentence because I was trying to figure out the ending. That had been my original purpose, but before long I started adding in specific details. Where people were. What they looked like. What they thought about things. Here is exactly how I started typing it:
"stick w/the elf princess w/broken heart thing, hidden away in moria, fellowship travels through, elassar tries to take the ring by sliting underhill's throat while he sleeps. rock is on watch but doesn't see. ep sees and before he can kill underhill she aims an arrow at his heart. she never gets to shoot it though, for while rock did not see elassar he sees the ep and shoots her. rock, boro and elassar go up the rocks to investigate who tried to kill elassar (he's better now) and find the ep. she is unconciouss and rock's arrow went straight to her heart. rock, boro and elassar try and decide what to do with her. elassar does not inform them why she was trying to kill him. he keeps quiet but feels really guilty."
All one paragraph and no capitalization. I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into. It was like that lambchop song, "this is the song that never ends," because I didn't realize at that point that my innocent "story" would turn into a 94-page fan fiction.
Phase 1:
* Today I got bored. I've watched LOTR like five hundred times and guess what? It's still the same! The Return of the King isn't coming out for almost a whole year, it seems, and honestly, I don't think that Viggo Mortenson is capable of playing a king - like role. It's too much of a stress for his character. He is *incredibly* sexy, though! He's my favorite, to be perfectly honest. I know he's like, forty-something and has a kid my age, but he is just so *sexy*!
Anyway, I got bored. So I invited my friend Robyn over for a sleepover. I got her addicted to LOTR when I dragged her to The Two Towers and she started asking "Maggie, where's FRODO?" even when he was in the scene. Frodo! Honestly, Frodo! Yech!
We stayed up until three in the morning weaving stories together for one another about our dream guys from LOTR. I had the most fun with this, especially since we kept inwardly insulting the other's hero. Then we went to bed. I told Robyn that for fun I would write up one of the fantasies we had thought up and email it to her later. I had no idea . . .
* Today I got bored again. It's winter break, and there is NOTHING TO DO! I was beginning to think that I should have gone to New Hampshire like I had been offered. Unable to think of nothing else to do, I made myself a sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly, so there.
As I ate my sandwich, I thought of the promise I had made to Robyn. It sounded like a good idea at the time, and I was bored, so I sat down at my computer. However, when I tried to remember some of the unfinished stories we had made up, the only one that could come to mind was a particularly insightful one Robyn had invented. I logged onto hotmail, went to "compose," and put "me" in the "To:" box, unsure that I would be sending this to Robyn, or anyone else, for that matter.
As I typed, I used code names. Aragorn was "Elessar" (poor code name, I know, but I couldn't think of anything better), Gandalf was "grey-white" (dorky, I know), Boromir was "Boro" (hmm I wonder who that could be!), Gimli was "the dirty mouth" (from the extended version of the "Fellowship." Robyn and I found Gimli's profanity more entertaining than you can imagine) and Legolas was "Rock" (the book "Love, A User's Guide," had a character who was a hot movie star named Orlando Rock. All through reading it, I thought of Orlando Bloom. You do the math).
The hobbits were given most strange code names. Frodo was "Underhill." Hmm I wonder who'd be able to guess that? Merry and Pippin's code names were derived from their full names Tolkien gave them, so Merry was "Adoc" (Meriadoc) and Pippin was "Grin" (Peregrin). Coincidently, the same went for Sam (he became "Wise"). I'm not sure why I thought I needed a code name for Sam, because Sam is such a normal name, but I'm only telling it like it is.
My "story" started out as a series of events, just listed in one long sentence because I was trying to figure out the ending. That had been my original purpose, but before long I started adding in specific details. Where people were. What they looked like. What they thought about things. Here is exactly how I started typing it:
"stick w/the elf princess w/broken heart thing, hidden away in moria, fellowship travels through, elassar tries to take the ring by sliting underhill's throat while he sleeps. rock is on watch but doesn't see. ep sees and before he can kill underhill she aims an arrow at his heart. she never gets to shoot it though, for while rock did not see elassar he sees the ep and shoots her. rock, boro and elassar go up the rocks to investigate who tried to kill elassar (he's better now) and find the ep. she is unconciouss and rock's arrow went straight to her heart. rock, boro and elassar try and decide what to do with her. elassar does not inform them why she was trying to kill him. he keeps quiet but feels really guilty."
All one paragraph and no capitalization. I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into. It was like that lambchop song, "this is the song that never ends," because I didn't realize at that point that my innocent "story" would turn into a 94-page fan fiction.
