That night, Kate practiced putting on her make up. Trying to obtain perfection. If only she were prettier. Better. Then maybe, her mother could accept her. Maybe if she were prettier, she wouldn't feel that nagging pain in her chest that followed her through each day. If only she could understand where that came from. Kate was applying mascara when the phone rang. A smudge of black splattered her eye lid as she jumped at the ring.
"Hello," she said as casually as she could, after picking up the phone on the fifth ring. You have to make whoever's calling at least think you're doing something more important than talking to them.
"Kate?" The voice was loud and squeeky. Kate knew immediately who it was.
"Of course it's me. Duh. Come on, Claire."
"Oh right, duh. Okay, so are you going to Jesse's party tomorrow?"
Kate had completely forgotten about it. Parties seemed to interest her less and less ever since the night at Ethan's house the previous year. She quickly pushed the memory of it out of her mind and said reluctantly, "Of course I'm going. When have I ever missed a party?" It was too true. There could be no party without Kate Sanders. Still, the looming obligation of yet another party terrified Kate. The things she did at these parties, she had no control over. Yet whatever she did do, the regret lingered on, forcing guilt down her spine as it pulsated through her veins like poison. Claire had continued jabbering away on the other line. Kate had again zoned out. Quickly, she pushed her memories down as far as she could, attempting to believe she was happy. Why shouldn't she be happy? She had everything anyone could want.
Suddenly, Kate heard her mother call from the other room. "Claire," she said, cutting her off. "I have to go now. I'll see you tomorrow." Banging down the phone, Kate lifted herself from her spot on the floor and wandered out her door. To her surprise her mother was standing right outside preparing to knock.
"Oh, here you are," her mother said with a laugh, that nausiating smile still plastered over her face. "I just wanted to tell you diner's ready. Maria has cooked some nice, healthy-"
"I'm not hungry," Kate blurted out, her eyes quickly darting to the floor.
"That's wonderful, dear," her mother wailed with overenthusiasm. "I'm so glad your finally thinking conciously about your weight problem. Good girl. Now if we could only get you to the gym."
"Yeah, I'll go tomorrow," Kate mumbled, defiantly staring at the floor.
"Good girl. Now, don't let me disturb you from whatever you were up to. You just go right back. I'll see you in the morning," her mother began to walk away. "Oh," she squeeked, turning back around, right as Kate was about to shut the door. "I picked up your car today. It's wonderful. All ready. You can drive yourself in tomorrow. And of course to any weekend plans you might have."
"Oh, well there was this one party-"
"Don't even tell me. I'm just so proud of your popularity at that little school of yours. You remind me of myself. You have a slightly more, unique, beauty, but still, I loved to go out every weekend. Flirting with all the boys. Oh, I bet that's just what you do."
"Yeah, mom," Kate said, with a tinge of saddness mounting in her voice.
"Okay, then. Well, see you in the morning."
Kate gently closed the door behind her and went straight to sleep. Stopping only to wash the make up off her face and brush her teeth.