"Miss Sanders," the teacher said gruffly as the bell rang. "Please
come here, I need to speak with you."
Kate looked around at her group of friends rolling her eyes and giving them a quick smile. They left the room, giggling, running off to lunch. "Yeah?"
"Miss Sanders, as you should be fully aware, your performance in my class has not been up to par."
Kate looked away. To some extent she had known this, however she'd made it a point recently of avoiding all contact with her grades. They only made her feel afraid of the life she was wasting.
Her teacher continued without waiting for a response. "Well, to be quite frank, it's terrible. Your grade is sinking, Miss Sanders and if you don't do something about it soon, I'll have to assign you a tutor." The teacher used this as a sort of scare tactic because of previous dealings with Kate. He had offered her a tutor once out of kindness and when Kate so fervently refused, he decided to use it as a bit of leverage.
Kate began to shake her head. "No, it's okay, I'll do better, don't worry. I've just been, a bit, overwhelmed lately."
The teacher stared her down, almost menacingly. "Alright, Katie, if you insist." Kate shuddered slightly as he said this and a look of fear consumed her. Why had her teacher called her Katie? Only her mother called her Katie. Quickly, she snatched up her back pack and ran out of the room. However, she didn't run very far. Her body felt very weak. It had been days since she'd eaten anything at all. This strange dizzy sensation would flood her body periodically during the day. Pulling herself together, she forced her body to walk in as straight of a line as she could manage, smiling at anyone who passed her by.
"Hey," she said briskly, taking her seat at the lunch table.
"What's up?"
"Not much." Internally, she rolled her eyes at this. It was such a stupid question. Then, the insessant small talk began. She sat there, trying not to look as uncomfortable as she felt. Looking around at the table, she realized just how alone she was. How horrible popularity was. Each of these girls talked to her, with alterior motives on their minds. They wanted to be her. They wanted to be in her clique. Every time she opened her mouth to speak they were all so busy hanging on her every word, no one heard a thing she was saying. No one truly listened and there was not a single girl in that group who would risk breaking a nail to save Kate's life. These people before her weren't her friends. They were a mix of delusional girls who truly believed that teenage life was complete when spent drinking, doing drugs, driving fast and having sex. And also, hanging around with the popular crowd. These girls would one day look back on their lives feeling that these were the glory days, while Kate would be spending years trying to forget the things she'd experienced in high school life. The lonliness. The longing. Why then, didn't she just cast off the chains of popularity. Some other girl could replace her immediately. She was nothing special. No one would even notice she'd gone. So, why didn't she just take the plunge. For a moment, her mind rested on this question. As she thought she realized it was because she would probably never have friends. She didn't remember how to make friends. More over, she didn't remember who she really was. Thinking about this terrible aspect for a moment, she realized she may have never known. She'd simply embraced whatever mold her peers put her in. Being the leader offered her some comfort. Even if popularity made her feel awful, guilty, ashamed and sad, the alternative offered nothing better. So Kate stayed at the table with her popular friends and began discussing her take on the latest fashions, gossiping about different people in the school, talking about who she thought was hot. It was easy for her to just fit in. It was easy to embrace whatever stereotype everyone else wanted her to be, to feel. Letting go of the feelings that had been running through her veins, she perked up, smiling wider for every ounce of pain she felt. Because they didn't care what you were feeling inside. All that mattered was being what the public wanted.
"Yeah, I know he's soooo cute," Kate said bubbly, swishing back her hair as she spoke.
Kate looked around at her group of friends rolling her eyes and giving them a quick smile. They left the room, giggling, running off to lunch. "Yeah?"
"Miss Sanders, as you should be fully aware, your performance in my class has not been up to par."
Kate looked away. To some extent she had known this, however she'd made it a point recently of avoiding all contact with her grades. They only made her feel afraid of the life she was wasting.
Her teacher continued without waiting for a response. "Well, to be quite frank, it's terrible. Your grade is sinking, Miss Sanders and if you don't do something about it soon, I'll have to assign you a tutor." The teacher used this as a sort of scare tactic because of previous dealings with Kate. He had offered her a tutor once out of kindness and when Kate so fervently refused, he decided to use it as a bit of leverage.
Kate began to shake her head. "No, it's okay, I'll do better, don't worry. I've just been, a bit, overwhelmed lately."
The teacher stared her down, almost menacingly. "Alright, Katie, if you insist." Kate shuddered slightly as he said this and a look of fear consumed her. Why had her teacher called her Katie? Only her mother called her Katie. Quickly, she snatched up her back pack and ran out of the room. However, she didn't run very far. Her body felt very weak. It had been days since she'd eaten anything at all. This strange dizzy sensation would flood her body periodically during the day. Pulling herself together, she forced her body to walk in as straight of a line as she could manage, smiling at anyone who passed her by.
"Hey," she said briskly, taking her seat at the lunch table.
"What's up?"
"Not much." Internally, she rolled her eyes at this. It was such a stupid question. Then, the insessant small talk began. She sat there, trying not to look as uncomfortable as she felt. Looking around at the table, she realized just how alone she was. How horrible popularity was. Each of these girls talked to her, with alterior motives on their minds. They wanted to be her. They wanted to be in her clique. Every time she opened her mouth to speak they were all so busy hanging on her every word, no one heard a thing she was saying. No one truly listened and there was not a single girl in that group who would risk breaking a nail to save Kate's life. These people before her weren't her friends. They were a mix of delusional girls who truly believed that teenage life was complete when spent drinking, doing drugs, driving fast and having sex. And also, hanging around with the popular crowd. These girls would one day look back on their lives feeling that these were the glory days, while Kate would be spending years trying to forget the things she'd experienced in high school life. The lonliness. The longing. Why then, didn't she just cast off the chains of popularity. Some other girl could replace her immediately. She was nothing special. No one would even notice she'd gone. So, why didn't she just take the plunge. For a moment, her mind rested on this question. As she thought she realized it was because she would probably never have friends. She didn't remember how to make friends. More over, she didn't remember who she really was. Thinking about this terrible aspect for a moment, she realized she may have never known. She'd simply embraced whatever mold her peers put her in. Being the leader offered her some comfort. Even if popularity made her feel awful, guilty, ashamed and sad, the alternative offered nothing better. So Kate stayed at the table with her popular friends and began discussing her take on the latest fashions, gossiping about different people in the school, talking about who she thought was hot. It was easy for her to just fit in. It was easy to embrace whatever stereotype everyone else wanted her to be, to feel. Letting go of the feelings that had been running through her veins, she perked up, smiling wider for every ounce of pain she felt. Because they didn't care what you were feeling inside. All that mattered was being what the public wanted.
"Yeah, I know he's soooo cute," Kate said bubbly, swishing back her hair as she spoke.
