Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Thank you for reviewing (all of you that did).
PS: I'm just making this stuff up as I go along.
A Hard Good Bye
Harry was slowly walking in what looked like an endless darkness. It was so dark that he couldn't even see himself. I was just as well because he didn't seem to be paying attention to where he was going. In fact he wasn't paying attention to anything. If someone were to shine a little light in his face, they would see a blank face, a face without expression or feeling. He probably wouldn't even react to the light that was shone in his face. He continued walking endlessly, not stopping, not even for a second. He walked for what seemed like hours through the empty darkness, until he could see a light. Harry did not react to this light, he just continued walking towards it. The light seemed to be getting closer. If Harry looked down now, he would actually be able to see his own body. He continued walking towards the light. It was as if something had pulled him here, like he knew exactly where to go. He continued to walk until the darkness was completely behind him, until he was in the light. As soon as he left the darkness, it disappeared behind him. He continued walking, this time in the light. And after what seemed like another few hours, he stopped. He began to look around with the same blank expression on his face that he had for the past few hours. He seemed to be standing on top of a building, or a tower. A tower so high that he could see clouds just by looking straight ahead. He continued walking until he reached the edge. He stopped and looked down, his face still blank. He saw a long spiral staircase heading down for what seemed like miles. Then suddenly, the tower disappeared leaving Harry floating in mid-air. He continued to float for a few minutes, seemingly unaffected at all by gravity. And then without warning, it began taking its affect. Harry was falling faster and faster with each passing second. He didn't scream, nor did he close his eyes. In fact he didn't seem to do anything except stare blankly out into space. He fell for what seemed like miles, accelerating more and more with each passing second, until he could see the ground. He was getting closer and closer, until…
Harry jumped up in his bed panting and sweating with his hands grasping his blanket tightly. He sat for a few minutes continuing to hold onto his blanket.
Finally, after a few minute, he let go and fell back onto his pillow. He recovered his glasses from the drawer next to his bed, put them on, and looked at the clock that was standing on the same drawer. He saw that it was around four o'clock in the morning.
'What was that all about', he thought while using his left hand to wipe away his sweat. 'I remember darkness, a tower, and me falling, and then I woke up'. Harry continued to lie in bed thinking about his dream.
"Oh well", he sighed to himself, shaking his head. "It was probably just a dream". He got up and started for the door. 'But, it seemed to be so real', he thought as he opened it. He made his way over to the bathroom in order to wash up. He was still thinking about the dream that he just had, but put it out of his mind the second he opened the door.
After he opened the door, he turned on the light on and began to look into the mirror. The same lifeless eyes that Harry saw at Privet Drive stared back at him. 'Will I ever be myself again'? He thought miserably. He stood there staring at his reflection for a few minutes, when suddenly his thoughts began to drift towards Hermione. 'She was scared of me', he thought, remembering the first time Hermione looked into his eyes. At that moment he seemed to hear a soft voice in his ear.
"I want you to know that I… that I will always be there for you, to help you anyway I can", the voice said.
'It's Hermione', Harry thought.
He looked in the mirror again, more closely this time. Maybe there was just a small change, that's all he wanted, that's all he needed now. But, there wasn't. He saw the exact same graveyard. Nothing at all has changed. "Why does it have to be this way"? He said in a low melancholy voice. "Why must I make other people suffer"?
Immediately Harry froze, as he began hearing that dreaded whisper that has been driving him mad all summer. "It's all your fault", it began in a whisper.
"WHO ARE YOU"!!! Harry yelled. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME"?!!!
"It's your fault that others have suffered", the voice continued in the same whisper. "And now you must suffer for it".
"I DIDN'T… MEAN… FOR… ANY… OF THIS… TO HAPPEN"!!! Harry yelled as he fell down to the floor clutching his head with both hands.
"But it did happen", the voice said increasing its volume with each word. "And it's your fault that it happened. Others have suffered because of you, and now even more will suffer"!
"STOP IT"!!! Harry yelled.
"Look", the voice continued. "Look at the faces of all those that have suffered because of you". Immediately the bathroom disappeared from in front of Harry's eyes. Taking its place were miserable looking faces, all of which were glaring at him. First he saw Ron's face. "Famous Harry Potter, always getting whatever you want", the face snarled. A voice from Harry's left said "You took away the only glory that Hufflepuff has ever had". He turned to see it was Professor Sprout, head of the Hufflepuff house. A voice from behind "You let our son die". He turned around and saw the tearstained faces of Mr. And Mrs. Diggory. "Thanks to you Harry I have to abdicate from society, and live off of rats". It was Sirius on his upper right. "Why couldn't you help me Harry, I thought we were friends". It was Cedric on his right. "I love you Harry, why wont you give me the time of day"? It was a tearstained Ginny on his upper left. "Harry", he looked up and saw Hermione with tears in her eyes. Her face looked exactly the same as the previous night. "Why are forcing me to go through this? WHY"?!!! She yelled.
"Do you see"? The voice asked as all the faces disappeared. "You even make those closest to you suffer, and now I will make you suffer for it".
"PLEASE STOP"!!! Harry yelled, already on the brink of going insane.
"I will not stop until you have paid for what you've done. Because of you so many have suffered, and now that the Dark Lord is on the loose, even more will suffer. And it's all your fault".
"No it isn't", Harry said in a timid voice. "It isn't… it isn't… it isn't… ". He kept repeating the same two words over and over in the same timid voice, while holding his head in his hands.
"Harry, please wake up", a different voice whispered, while he was still repeating the same two words, trying desperately to believe in them. "Harry, wake up, please". The voice became louder. "Wake up"! The voice practically yelled.
Harry slowly opened his eyes. He felt a cold sweat on his brow, and he seemed to be breathing rather hard. His head felt like it had been run through a spin cycle, and his limbs felt extremely sore and weak. He looked up and saw a pale faced, tearstained Hermione looking down on him with fear and pity in her eyes. He sat up not taking his eyes of her.
"Oh Harry", she sobbed trying hard to hold back her tears.
'I'm making the people closest to me suffer', he thought to himself.
Immediately he got up, walked past Hermione, pushed the door open and sprinted for his room. He ran over to his trunk, kicked it open, and began taking his clothes out of the drawer near his bed and dropping them inside his trunk.
"What are you doing"? Harry looked back and saw Hermione standing outside of his door. He ignored her and continued putting his things in his trunk.
"Harry, what are you doing"? Hermione repeated as she walked over to him. "Harry will you answer me"! She cried grabbing a hold of his right elbow.
"I'm leaving", He stated nonchalantly, as he pushed her hand away and continued packing.
"What, Why"?! She asked him looking extremely hurt and shocked.
"I have to go", he answered in the same nonchalant way.
"No you don't", she said defiantly as she reached into his trunk and started throwing his clothes out onto his bed. "Look", she said pulling his right elbow with both of her hands this time. "I'm really, very sorry about yesterday. I promise we'll have a lot more fun from now on", she continued sounding incredibly desperate.
"It has nothing to do with that", Harry sighed. "I just don't want to be a burden on anyone".
"Harry, you're not a burden", she said shaking her head a little. "I really like having you…"
"Hermione", Harry interrupted, looking at her in a very serious manner and began speaking in a very serious tone. "I'll stay", he said. Hermione's spirits seemed to be lifted a bit. "But, on one condition", Harry continued in the same serious tone.
"What is it? I'll do anything", Hermione said in a hopeful voice.
Immediately Harry grabbed her shoulders with both of his hands and brought his face close to her's. Hermione, who seemed to be in extreme shock, didn't say anything.
"If you can look into my eyes", He started. "Really look, and not be afraid, then I'll stay", he finished in a whisper.
'Okay', Hermione thought, opening her eyes. 'This is going to be easy' She began bracing herself. 'Just a quick peak inside and you're all done'. She began looking up his face very slowly. 'A very handsome face', she thought. Up past his black bags 'poor thing, he needs some more sleep', she thought getting a little depressed. She continued on into his bloodshot eyeballs. 'Nothing, a few eye drops won't cure'. Into his irises 'Beautiful, as always'. And finally, bracing herself now more than ever, she looked into his pupils. 'Oh my god' she thought. 'So much pain. So much suffering. Nothing but Death. How can he stand it? HOW'? Immediately, not being able to look anymore, she turned away.
"Goodbye Hermione", Harry said as he picked up the clothes that Hermione threw on his bed and placed them inside his trunk. He closed his trunk, grabbed his broom, put a Hedwigless cage (she was flying outside looking for mice) under his shoulder, and began to drag his trunk down the stairs.
At this moment Hermione realized that if she didn't stop him, she might lose him forever. She sprinted down the stairs after him, trying to think of a way to convince him to stay.
Harry was already down the stairs and heading towards the door. "Harry"! She yelled out from middle of the staircase. Harry stopped and looked back at her. "Please", she begged tears falling once again. "Don't go. Please".
"Hermione", he said as he opened the door in front of him. "Please forget about me".
"No", she cried as she ran down the stairs.
"I'm not the same person, that you once knew", he began in a melancholy voice, as Hermione came up closer to him. "I wish I was, but I'm not".
"That doesn't matter to me", Hermione cried, as she closed the door. "It doesn't matter how much you've changed. You'll still always be the same Harry to me".
"Hermione", Harry said getting frustrated. "You can't even look at me anymore"!
"That's just something that I have to deal with", She cried putting her hand on her chest.
"That's the thing Hermione", Harry said looking down at the floor. "I don't want you to deal with it. I don't want to be a burden on anyone".
"Harry, be reasonable", Hermione said in a desperate voice. "Where are you going to go? You can't go back to the Dursleys".
"I'll go somewhere where I can be alone", Harry answered coldly.
"Harry", she began crying into her hands.
"I was born alone, I lived ten years of my life alone, and now all I want to do is be alone", Harry said even more coldly.
"Harry, please don't go", Hermione sobbed still crying into her hands. "The Dark Lord is out there. He'll find you, and then he'll kill you. And then, I don't know what I'll do".
"That is my burden to bear", he said with the same cold voice. He opened the door, took his things outside and before he closed it, he said one last thing to her. "Hermione, please tell the Weaselys to stay away from me". He closed the door and left.
That was it; he was gone. Hermione walked over to the couch, fell onto it face first and started crying harder than she ever cried before. She kept trying to regain control of herself, but failing. She knew that crying wouldn't change anything, but didn't care. She cried nonstop for over an hour.
"Hermione", she heard a gentle voice say.
She looked up and saw her father gaze down at her with concerned eyes. "What happened"? He asked as he sat down beside her.
"Harry left", She sobbed letting more tears flow down her face.
"There, there", he soothed, as he pulled her into a hug.
"He's in so much pain", Hermione continued, crying into her fathers shoulder. "And there's nothing I can do for him".
"Hermione", her father started in a stern tone. "Don't give up, have hope".
"What"? She sobbed, looking up at her father.
"You've told me many of his stories, and in every single one of them he never gave up. You shouldn't either", he stated in the same stern voice.
"But I'm not as strong as him", she sobbed putting her face in her hands again.
"Maybe not, but you love him, don't you"?
"How did you…"? Hermione immediately looked up at her father with surprise on her face.
"I'm your father, I just know", he answered giving her a smile. "Look Hermione, how I know is not the point. The point is that if you love someone you shouldn't give up on them. I would never give up on your mother".
Hermione looked down not sure of what to say.
"Hermione", her father continued. "You can't always get everything handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes you have to work to get what you want. And I can promise you; it will all be worth it at the end. The harder it will be, the more it will strengthen your bond together". He stopped for a moment, not knowing what to say next. "Uh, anyway, the first thing you do once you get to school is try to help him somehow, that's an order" he finished.
Seeing that she would rather be alone at this time, he got up and left towards the stairs. "Hermione, that boy wouldn't give up on you if positions were switched, so don't you give up on him". And with that he went back to bed.
'I'll try my best', she thought. 'That is if Harry comes back to Hogwarts'. She started to get a little more concerned. 'What if he's gone forever? What if the Dark Lord finds him?' She continued thinking getting more depressed with each thought. 'I just can't picture my life without him in it'.
"No", she said in a loud voice. "I won't think of that. Harry is going to be just fine. And once I see him again, I'll somehow find a way to help him".
