Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
a/n: Could you guys please review. Pretty please, I don't even care if they're flames. I just want to know that people are actually reading this story. It took a long time to come up with this stuff and write it all down. And I want to at least know that people are reading it.
Harry's Promise
Harry closed the door of the Granger house. Grabbed the handle on the side of his trunk with his left had and began dragging it away from the house. He held Hedwig's cage under his right elbow, while struggling to hold his broomstick in his right hand. As he walked down the block a mixture of thoughts clouded Harry's head. 'Why does it have to be this way? Why must I keep hurting those that I love'. He began thinking of Hermione; of the way her faced looked when she was begging him not to go. It took all of the strength and self-control he had to leave her that night. But, he did what he had to do. 'She was so upset', he thought. 'But, she's better off without me. A worthless being like myself doesn't deserve to have any friends, especially not a friend like her'. He became more and more miserable with every step he took. 'A person like my myself is destined to be alone, for the rest of his life'.
He stopped at the corner drooping his broom on the ground a second later. He carefully placed Hedwig's cage on the ground near the trunk. He stretched out his left arm, which seemed to be sore from the awkward position that it was just in, rotated it a bit and placed it back at his side. He kicked open his trunk, knelt by it and started rummaging through it. He left Hermione's house in a bit of a hurry, so he didn't know where everything was. After searching for about two minutes, he finally got up looking satisfied. In his right hand he held his wand, and in his left hand he held a sack of wizard's money. He raised his wand in the air and held it for about half a minute. 'Its not coming', Harry thought as he put his arm down. He was trying to call the knight's bus; a bus that stopped by to pick up any witch or wizard who summons it. He sat on his trunk thinking of what he should do. 'I guess, I'd better fly to London', he thought. 'I'll use the invisibility cloak and…'
Before Harry could even finish his thought he heard a loud honking noise, which shook him up a bit. It was the knight's bus heading right towards Harry. 'Finally', Harry thought. 'Took them long enough'.
The bus stopped directly in front of Harry. The doors opened, shining some light directly onto Harry's face. In the doorway stood a young pimple faced person that Harry already knew as Stan.
" 'ello there 'arry", Stan said in a cheerful voice. " 'ey Ern" He yelled back inside the bus. "Take a guess on 'ho came back".
"Who"? Harry heard a grunt from inside the bus.
"It's 'arry Potter", He yelled.
"Wha' choo doin' in yo' pj's", he asked turning back to Harry.
Harry looked down and realized that he left Hermione's house in such a hurry that he completely forgot to change. "Just shut up and help me with my trunk"! Harry yelled feeling a little frustrated and embarrassed from the situation.
"Ok, ok, don' get yer knickers in a knot", Stan said as he stepped off the bus.
"I'm not paying you to be a smart-aleck", Harry grunted looking less angry than he felt. He was still a little shook up by what happened at Hermione's house, and the last thing he needed was some country bumpkin making him look stupid.
"Ah know", Stan replied casually. "Ah jus' throw that in fer free. Hahaha". He began cracking up at his own joke.
Harry didn't look even a bit amused. The more Stan laughed at his own joke the more Harry wanted to sock in right in the kisser. "VOLDEMORT"!!! Harry yelled as loud as he could, causing the entire knight's bus to go into an uproar, and making Stan to accidentally fall on his behind.
A white faced Stan looked up at Harry and said, "geez, ye don' 'ave to get nasty 'ere. What in tar nation do ye think yer doing". He slowly got up, not taking his eyes off of Harry. He stared at him for a minute not saying anything.
"Just do your job, you damn yokel"! Harry angrily said, giving Stan a glare.
"Fine", Stan muttered. He helped Harry take his trunk inside the bus, and then led him towards his bed. "That'll be eleven sickles; fourteen if y'all want the deluxe package", he said, once again beginning to chuckle at his corny joke.
Harry reached inside his bag pulled out a galleon and threw it directly in Stan's face, hitting him hard. "Here", Harry gritted through his teeth. "Keep the change".
"Wha' choo do that for"! Stan yelled as he started clutching his forehead. "Ye could've put ma' eye out". Stan bent down picked up the coin and put it in his pocket, turned back to Harry and asked. "Where do y'all wants to go"?
"Take me to the leaky cauldron, and don't bother me until we get there", Harry replied coldly. "Got it"!
"Yeah, alrah't.", Stan answered looking a little scared at this point. He turned around and was about to leave when something inside him made him stop. "Now hold on there jus' a secon'", He began.
But before he could say anything, Harry got in his face glaring more furiously than ever. The only time he was this angry was when he almost killed Sirius Black in his third year. "Voldemort", Harry started in a whisper. "Voldemort", He continued in a louder voice. "VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT"!!! He yelled, as Stan and the rest of the passengers ran out of the room looking like they just peed their pants. "And next time you want to insult someone, use proper English, you idiot", Harry muttered.
Harry lay down on his bed still as mad as ever. He wasn't really angry with Stan, he was really angry with himself. At that moment, he hated himself more than anything. He had hurt Hermione, and now he took all his frustrations out on Stan. 'Maybe I should just be left alone'. He wished he could talk to someone about his problems, but knew that no one would understand. That was the story of Harry's life. No one really knew what it meant to be Harry Potter. For some reason everyone always wanted to have his life. Harry never understood why though. 'I guess they think its nothing but photo shoots and autograph signing', Harry thought as he rolled over. Harry continued to lie in his bed thinking about how his life ended up this way. He just couldn't understand, in one summer he lost everything that ever mattered to him; everything that he ever cared about. His thoughts kept coming back to Hermione. Of how hurt she was when Harry left. He tried to block it out of his mind, but couldn't. "What could this mean", he muttered to himself. He continued thinking about her for a few minutes trying desperately to understand his feelings, but in the end failing. 'Maybe I really don't have anymore feelings', Harry thought. 'Oh well, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to see her again'.
At that moment, Harry heard a knock on the door of the room, followed by what sounded like the voice of an old man. "We're here", said the voice. Harry opened the door to find an old man with one tooth standing in front of him.
"Tom"? Harry said in surprise. "What are you doing on the Knight's bus"?
"Well", Tom started. "Old Stan and Ernie are a little afraid to approach you at this moment. They said something about you-know-who; I couldn't really understand through all their stuttering. So I came to get you out myself".
Harry looked down at the floor feeling extremely bad for the way he treated Stan. He thought about apologizing, but blew that idea right out of his mind. If Sam and Ernie were even too scared to tell Tom about what happened, then what were the chances that they were going to stick around to listen to Harry.
"Come on", Tom said gently, while putting an arm around Harry's shoulder. "Just follow me. Your baggage will be taken to your room by one of my attendants".
Harry left the knight's bus with Tom and headed towards the entrance of the leaky cauldron. He couldn't see either Stan or Ernie on his way out. This made Harry feel even worse. 'They're probably hiding because of what happened', thought Harry. 'I acted like a complete jerk', Harry started putting himself down. 'I don't deserve to be around people'.
"You know", Tom started as they reached the entrance of the leaky cauldron. "I can't blame them for the way they were acting". He opened the door and gestured Harry to come inside.
"What do you mean"? Harry asked as he stepped in.
"Well", Tom started to answer. "There have been a lot of rumors going on about how old you-know-who has returned". He came in and slammed the door shut. "A lot of people are extremely scared now-a-days".
"They have a right to be", Harry said in a low voice. "Because it's no rumor".
Apparently Tom hadn't heard him as he continued talking. "But Cornelius Fudge, the minister of magic has assured everyone that no such thing has happened. That it was only a rumor started by some death-eaters to scare the public".
"Fudge is a fool", Harry said in voice loud enough for only Tom to hear. Harry remembered the previous year when Dumbledore and Fudge had that huge argument in the hospital wing. Dumbledore kept insisting that Voldemort has returned, while Fudge kept denying it. At the end they ended up, ending their friendship.
"What do you mean"? Tom looked at him quizzically. "You're not saying that you-know-who has actually returned, has he"? Tom asked Harry with a look of shock and fear on his face.
"I mean exactly what I said", Harry answered coldly. "Throughout his career Fudge has always valued those who came from old wizarding families, otherwise known as purebloods. He even held Mr. Weasely's career back, because Mr. Weasely likes muggles so much".
"What exactly are you trying to say"? Tom looked down at Harry a little less scared now.
"I'm saying that every single person in Voldemort's (Tom flinched) is what Fudge calls a pureblood", Harry answered as if explaining to a child.
"Well, uh would you like me to show you to your room", Tom asked changing the subject.
"Sure", Harry answered nonchalantly.
Harry followed Tom to the stairs, ignoring all the people trying to get a glance at him. Everyone knew who he was the moment he stepped inside the leaky cauldron.
Tom led Harry up the stairs and towards a room not saying anything to him. He probably understood by now why Stan and Ernie were so scared. Harry must have said Voldemort's name out loud.
"Well here you are", Tom said as they stopped by Harry's room. "Room four, I hope you like it. Are you going to stay here until school starts"?
"No", Harry replied. "I'll be leaving in a couple of days". He walked over to his bed and lay down on it.
"Ok", Tom started. He wondered why Harry wasn't going to stay until school started, but didn't ask, being that it was none of his business. "I'll be leaving now". He turned around grabbed the door handle, and just before he was about to close it, he heard Harry call out to him.
"Tom"! Harry called. Tom looked back inside at Harry. "Please don't tell anyone I'm here, ok"?
"Not even your friends"? Tom asked.
"Especially not to them", Harry answered raising his voice.
"Ok". And with that, Tom closed Harry's door and left.
"Later, I'm going to get my money out of Gringotts and get out of here", Harry began talking to himself.
"Where are you going to go"? A strange voice asked him.
Harry immediately started looking around the room to see the originator of the voice. "Who are you"?! Harry yelled. "Where are you"?!
"Be quiet", said the voice. "I'm right here in the shadows". The voice seemed to be coming from the Harry's right. He walked closer to where he thought the voice came from, getting a little scared. "Hey Harry", the speaker said as he came out of the shadows.
It turned out to be none other than his godfather, Sirius Black. "What are you doing here", Harry gritted through his teeth as he glared at Sirius. "You could get caught. Do you know what they're going to do to you if they catch you". Sirius tried to answer, but Harry, who was seemingly mad, interrupted him. "With all the rumors about Voldemort, they're definitely going to have the Dementors use their kiss on you, do you want that"? Harry finished trying to catch his breath, from saying too many things in one breath while at the same time being angry. 'How does Hermione do it'? Harry thought.
"Harry", Sirius began. "Relax. Take a deep breath". Harry did. "Good. Now the reason I'm here is, because Dumbledore asked me to give you this". Sirius handed Harry an envelope. "With Voldemort running around, we can't be too careful", he stated. "Even with the charm that Dumbledore placed on you".
Harry looked at the letter and realized that it didn't have an address on it, only Harry's name. He opened it up, took the piece of parchment inside and began reading it. It turned out to be what Harry has been waiting for all summer. It was the letter telling him to return to Hogwarts, and the list of schoolbooks he needed for his fifth year. It had the books for all the classes that Harry was already taking, plus two more. 'Arithmancy for Beginner', and 'Intermediate Arithmancy'. 'Looks like McGonagold got the letter that I sent out before I left for Hermione's house', Harry thought. "Thanks", Harry said in a low voice. "But I won't be needing this". He put the letter down on top of his drawer.
"What?" Sirius looked surprised. "Why not"? He asked.
"Because I'm not going back", Harry answered looking down at the floor. He really admired Sirius, and it was hard to tell this to him.
"Don't joke around with me Harry", Sirius said in a very serious tone. "Yes, you, are", he ended, with emphasis on each word.
"No I'm not", Harry said in a low voice, still looking down at the floor.
"Why not"? Sirius asked as he sat down near Harry. He put his arm around Harry's shoulder and asked him again. "Why not"?
"Because there's nothing there for me".
"What are you talking about"?! Sirius yelled out, looking completely surprised. "You have your friends. Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, that Neville boy, the twins, and all the other kids in Gryffindor. I think that's more than enough of a reason to go back".
"They're not my friends", Harry stated. "Not anymore".
"What are you talking about"? Sirius asked. "What happened? Did you have a fight with them"?
"No I didn't", Harry whispered. "I can't be friends with anyone".
"Why not", Sirius asked looking extremely puzzled at this point.
"Because I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to cause them anymore pain", Harry stated.
"I think", Sirius started in a soft voice. "That the only way you could hurt them is if you stop being friends with them".
"You don't understand", Harry said looking Sirius in the eyes. "You didn't see what Hermione's face looked like". He stopped for a second. "I, I've lost my humanity. I can't even look into her eyes without scaring her".
"I don't understand"? He said as he got up and started laughing a bit. He paced the room for a minute, laughing the entire time.
"What's so funny"? Harry asked, sounding extremely offended.
"I understand better than you think", Sirius said, his jovial face turning into one of severe expression.
"What"? Harry looked up surprised [more by his change in expression].
"Did you already forget, that I was supposed to be Lily and James' secret keeper"? He said in a melancholy voice. "But I decided that it would be better if that rat Pettigrew did it", he said with hatred in his eyes. "I handed Lily and James over to him, and to Voldemort. And you can believe me; that thought crossed my mind more than once while I was in azkaban". He sat down by Harry, hands cupping his face. "So you see Harry, I do know what it feels like to hurt those that you love".
He faced Harry and put his hands on Harry's shoulder making Harry look him straight in the face. "Harry listen to me", he started. "You are a very kind person. You hate hurting other people, especially those who you love. You haven't lost your humanity. Being able to care for others, being able to feel their pain. That is the one thing that separates us from the animals". He stopped for a second, not knowing what to say next. "Pettigrew for example", he started again, with anger in his voice. "He is a person that has lost his humanity. He'd sell out his own mother for a little bit of reflected glory. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, just like the beasts".
Sirius saw that none of this was sinking into Harry's head so he decided on a new approach. "Harry, Hogwarts is the only place where you will be safe. It's very dangerous now a days, especially for you", Sirius took the letter from the drawer and placed it into Harry's lap. "Dumbledore's charm won't last for much longer, and you can't go back to those muggles. The best place for you to be right now is under Dunbledore's watchful eye".
"Sirius", Harry started with panic in his voice. "I can't go back, I just can't". Harry put his head in his hands, holding it tight as if he were having another one of his mental attacks.
"Oh Harry", Sirius said shaking his head. "Right now, is one of those very rare times, when I'm actually glad that your parents are dead. If they saw you now, in the state you're in, putting yourself down, while others are trying to bring you up; well I don't know what they'd say".
Harry didn't move from his position.
"Harry", Sirius said in a higher tone. "If you don't want to go back for me or for yourself, then go back for your mother", he said tears beginning to form in his eyes. He held them back and continued. "She gave her life, so that you could have a chance to live. Do you really want to throw that chance away"?! He yelled the last line.
When he saw that Harry didn't answer him he looked down at him and started talking in a very angry voice. "Look Harry! You are going back to Hogwarts, and you are going to be safe, even if I have to drag you onto that train kicking and screaming"! He took Harry's shoulders and forced him to look him straight in the eyes. "Promise-me" He shouted. "For the sake of your parents, promise me that you're going to keep yourself safe".
Harry saw tears coming out of Sirius' eyes. Sirius was a very strong man; he even survived azkaban for twelve years without going insane. If he were crying, then that would probably mean that the situation had upset him greatly. "I promise that I'll return to Hogwarts", Harry said in a low voice.
"Good", Sirius said, looking relieved. "Now, I suggest that you go to Gringotts, get your money out, and buy the books that you need for school. I'll leave a minute after you do. I'm sure that everyone will be so busy trying to get a peak at Harry Potter as he leaves, that they won't notice a black dog leaving his room".
"Ok", Harry said. He picked up the letter that was on his lap, stood up and walked out the door.
"His eyes", Sirius said to himself. "There is so much pain in them. If this keeps up he'll…ughhh", he sighed. He turned into a dog waited until he heard that everyone was paying attention to Harry (a dog can hear much better than a human can), and left his room. He ran downstairs and out of the leaky cauldron, unnoticed by anyone.
a/n: Could you guys please review. Pretty please, I don't even care if they're flames. I just want to know that people are actually reading this story. It took a long time to come up with this stuff and write it all down. And I want to at least know that people are reading it.
Harry's Promise
Harry closed the door of the Granger house. Grabbed the handle on the side of his trunk with his left had and began dragging it away from the house. He held Hedwig's cage under his right elbow, while struggling to hold his broomstick in his right hand. As he walked down the block a mixture of thoughts clouded Harry's head. 'Why does it have to be this way? Why must I keep hurting those that I love'. He began thinking of Hermione; of the way her faced looked when she was begging him not to go. It took all of the strength and self-control he had to leave her that night. But, he did what he had to do. 'She was so upset', he thought. 'But, she's better off without me. A worthless being like myself doesn't deserve to have any friends, especially not a friend like her'. He became more and more miserable with every step he took. 'A person like my myself is destined to be alone, for the rest of his life'.
He stopped at the corner drooping his broom on the ground a second later. He carefully placed Hedwig's cage on the ground near the trunk. He stretched out his left arm, which seemed to be sore from the awkward position that it was just in, rotated it a bit and placed it back at his side. He kicked open his trunk, knelt by it and started rummaging through it. He left Hermione's house in a bit of a hurry, so he didn't know where everything was. After searching for about two minutes, he finally got up looking satisfied. In his right hand he held his wand, and in his left hand he held a sack of wizard's money. He raised his wand in the air and held it for about half a minute. 'Its not coming', Harry thought as he put his arm down. He was trying to call the knight's bus; a bus that stopped by to pick up any witch or wizard who summons it. He sat on his trunk thinking of what he should do. 'I guess, I'd better fly to London', he thought. 'I'll use the invisibility cloak and…'
Before Harry could even finish his thought he heard a loud honking noise, which shook him up a bit. It was the knight's bus heading right towards Harry. 'Finally', Harry thought. 'Took them long enough'.
The bus stopped directly in front of Harry. The doors opened, shining some light directly onto Harry's face. In the doorway stood a young pimple faced person that Harry already knew as Stan.
" 'ello there 'arry", Stan said in a cheerful voice. " 'ey Ern" He yelled back inside the bus. "Take a guess on 'ho came back".
"Who"? Harry heard a grunt from inside the bus.
"It's 'arry Potter", He yelled.
"Wha' choo doin' in yo' pj's", he asked turning back to Harry.
Harry looked down and realized that he left Hermione's house in such a hurry that he completely forgot to change. "Just shut up and help me with my trunk"! Harry yelled feeling a little frustrated and embarrassed from the situation.
"Ok, ok, don' get yer knickers in a knot", Stan said as he stepped off the bus.
"I'm not paying you to be a smart-aleck", Harry grunted looking less angry than he felt. He was still a little shook up by what happened at Hermione's house, and the last thing he needed was some country bumpkin making him look stupid.
"Ah know", Stan replied casually. "Ah jus' throw that in fer free. Hahaha". He began cracking up at his own joke.
Harry didn't look even a bit amused. The more Stan laughed at his own joke the more Harry wanted to sock in right in the kisser. "VOLDEMORT"!!! Harry yelled as loud as he could, causing the entire knight's bus to go into an uproar, and making Stan to accidentally fall on his behind.
A white faced Stan looked up at Harry and said, "geez, ye don' 'ave to get nasty 'ere. What in tar nation do ye think yer doing". He slowly got up, not taking his eyes off of Harry. He stared at him for a minute not saying anything.
"Just do your job, you damn yokel"! Harry angrily said, giving Stan a glare.
"Fine", Stan muttered. He helped Harry take his trunk inside the bus, and then led him towards his bed. "That'll be eleven sickles; fourteen if y'all want the deluxe package", he said, once again beginning to chuckle at his corny joke.
Harry reached inside his bag pulled out a galleon and threw it directly in Stan's face, hitting him hard. "Here", Harry gritted through his teeth. "Keep the change".
"Wha' choo do that for"! Stan yelled as he started clutching his forehead. "Ye could've put ma' eye out". Stan bent down picked up the coin and put it in his pocket, turned back to Harry and asked. "Where do y'all wants to go"?
"Take me to the leaky cauldron, and don't bother me until we get there", Harry replied coldly. "Got it"!
"Yeah, alrah't.", Stan answered looking a little scared at this point. He turned around and was about to leave when something inside him made him stop. "Now hold on there jus' a secon'", He began.
But before he could say anything, Harry got in his face glaring more furiously than ever. The only time he was this angry was when he almost killed Sirius Black in his third year. "Voldemort", Harry started in a whisper. "Voldemort", He continued in a louder voice. "VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT"!!! He yelled, as Stan and the rest of the passengers ran out of the room looking like they just peed their pants. "And next time you want to insult someone, use proper English, you idiot", Harry muttered.
Harry lay down on his bed still as mad as ever. He wasn't really angry with Stan, he was really angry with himself. At that moment, he hated himself more than anything. He had hurt Hermione, and now he took all his frustrations out on Stan. 'Maybe I should just be left alone'. He wished he could talk to someone about his problems, but knew that no one would understand. That was the story of Harry's life. No one really knew what it meant to be Harry Potter. For some reason everyone always wanted to have his life. Harry never understood why though. 'I guess they think its nothing but photo shoots and autograph signing', Harry thought as he rolled over. Harry continued to lie in his bed thinking about how his life ended up this way. He just couldn't understand, in one summer he lost everything that ever mattered to him; everything that he ever cared about. His thoughts kept coming back to Hermione. Of how hurt she was when Harry left. He tried to block it out of his mind, but couldn't. "What could this mean", he muttered to himself. He continued thinking about her for a few minutes trying desperately to understand his feelings, but in the end failing. 'Maybe I really don't have anymore feelings', Harry thought. 'Oh well, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to see her again'.
At that moment, Harry heard a knock on the door of the room, followed by what sounded like the voice of an old man. "We're here", said the voice. Harry opened the door to find an old man with one tooth standing in front of him.
"Tom"? Harry said in surprise. "What are you doing on the Knight's bus"?
"Well", Tom started. "Old Stan and Ernie are a little afraid to approach you at this moment. They said something about you-know-who; I couldn't really understand through all their stuttering. So I came to get you out myself".
Harry looked down at the floor feeling extremely bad for the way he treated Stan. He thought about apologizing, but blew that idea right out of his mind. If Sam and Ernie were even too scared to tell Tom about what happened, then what were the chances that they were going to stick around to listen to Harry.
"Come on", Tom said gently, while putting an arm around Harry's shoulder. "Just follow me. Your baggage will be taken to your room by one of my attendants".
Harry left the knight's bus with Tom and headed towards the entrance of the leaky cauldron. He couldn't see either Stan or Ernie on his way out. This made Harry feel even worse. 'They're probably hiding because of what happened', thought Harry. 'I acted like a complete jerk', Harry started putting himself down. 'I don't deserve to be around people'.
"You know", Tom started as they reached the entrance of the leaky cauldron. "I can't blame them for the way they were acting". He opened the door and gestured Harry to come inside.
"What do you mean"? Harry asked as he stepped in.
"Well", Tom started to answer. "There have been a lot of rumors going on about how old you-know-who has returned". He came in and slammed the door shut. "A lot of people are extremely scared now-a-days".
"They have a right to be", Harry said in a low voice. "Because it's no rumor".
Apparently Tom hadn't heard him as he continued talking. "But Cornelius Fudge, the minister of magic has assured everyone that no such thing has happened. That it was only a rumor started by some death-eaters to scare the public".
"Fudge is a fool", Harry said in voice loud enough for only Tom to hear. Harry remembered the previous year when Dumbledore and Fudge had that huge argument in the hospital wing. Dumbledore kept insisting that Voldemort has returned, while Fudge kept denying it. At the end they ended up, ending their friendship.
"What do you mean"? Tom looked at him quizzically. "You're not saying that you-know-who has actually returned, has he"? Tom asked Harry with a look of shock and fear on his face.
"I mean exactly what I said", Harry answered coldly. "Throughout his career Fudge has always valued those who came from old wizarding families, otherwise known as purebloods. He even held Mr. Weasely's career back, because Mr. Weasely likes muggles so much".
"What exactly are you trying to say"? Tom looked down at Harry a little less scared now.
"I'm saying that every single person in Voldemort's (Tom flinched) is what Fudge calls a pureblood", Harry answered as if explaining to a child.
"Well, uh would you like me to show you to your room", Tom asked changing the subject.
"Sure", Harry answered nonchalantly.
Harry followed Tom to the stairs, ignoring all the people trying to get a glance at him. Everyone knew who he was the moment he stepped inside the leaky cauldron.
Tom led Harry up the stairs and towards a room not saying anything to him. He probably understood by now why Stan and Ernie were so scared. Harry must have said Voldemort's name out loud.
"Well here you are", Tom said as they stopped by Harry's room. "Room four, I hope you like it. Are you going to stay here until school starts"?
"No", Harry replied. "I'll be leaving in a couple of days". He walked over to his bed and lay down on it.
"Ok", Tom started. He wondered why Harry wasn't going to stay until school started, but didn't ask, being that it was none of his business. "I'll be leaving now". He turned around grabbed the door handle, and just before he was about to close it, he heard Harry call out to him.
"Tom"! Harry called. Tom looked back inside at Harry. "Please don't tell anyone I'm here, ok"?
"Not even your friends"? Tom asked.
"Especially not to them", Harry answered raising his voice.
"Ok". And with that, Tom closed Harry's door and left.
"Later, I'm going to get my money out of Gringotts and get out of here", Harry began talking to himself.
"Where are you going to go"? A strange voice asked him.
Harry immediately started looking around the room to see the originator of the voice. "Who are you"?! Harry yelled. "Where are you"?!
"Be quiet", said the voice. "I'm right here in the shadows". The voice seemed to be coming from the Harry's right. He walked closer to where he thought the voice came from, getting a little scared. "Hey Harry", the speaker said as he came out of the shadows.
It turned out to be none other than his godfather, Sirius Black. "What are you doing here", Harry gritted through his teeth as he glared at Sirius. "You could get caught. Do you know what they're going to do to you if they catch you". Sirius tried to answer, but Harry, who was seemingly mad, interrupted him. "With all the rumors about Voldemort, they're definitely going to have the Dementors use their kiss on you, do you want that"? Harry finished trying to catch his breath, from saying too many things in one breath while at the same time being angry. 'How does Hermione do it'? Harry thought.
"Harry", Sirius began. "Relax. Take a deep breath". Harry did. "Good. Now the reason I'm here is, because Dumbledore asked me to give you this". Sirius handed Harry an envelope. "With Voldemort running around, we can't be too careful", he stated. "Even with the charm that Dumbledore placed on you".
Harry looked at the letter and realized that it didn't have an address on it, only Harry's name. He opened it up, took the piece of parchment inside and began reading it. It turned out to be what Harry has been waiting for all summer. It was the letter telling him to return to Hogwarts, and the list of schoolbooks he needed for his fifth year. It had the books for all the classes that Harry was already taking, plus two more. 'Arithmancy for Beginner', and 'Intermediate Arithmancy'. 'Looks like McGonagold got the letter that I sent out before I left for Hermione's house', Harry thought. "Thanks", Harry said in a low voice. "But I won't be needing this". He put the letter down on top of his drawer.
"What?" Sirius looked surprised. "Why not"? He asked.
"Because I'm not going back", Harry answered looking down at the floor. He really admired Sirius, and it was hard to tell this to him.
"Don't joke around with me Harry", Sirius said in a very serious tone. "Yes, you, are", he ended, with emphasis on each word.
"No I'm not", Harry said in a low voice, still looking down at the floor.
"Why not"? Sirius asked as he sat down near Harry. He put his arm around Harry's shoulder and asked him again. "Why not"?
"Because there's nothing there for me".
"What are you talking about"?! Sirius yelled out, looking completely surprised. "You have your friends. Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, that Neville boy, the twins, and all the other kids in Gryffindor. I think that's more than enough of a reason to go back".
"They're not my friends", Harry stated. "Not anymore".
"What are you talking about"? Sirius asked. "What happened? Did you have a fight with them"?
"No I didn't", Harry whispered. "I can't be friends with anyone".
"Why not", Sirius asked looking extremely puzzled at this point.
"Because I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to cause them anymore pain", Harry stated.
"I think", Sirius started in a soft voice. "That the only way you could hurt them is if you stop being friends with them".
"You don't understand", Harry said looking Sirius in the eyes. "You didn't see what Hermione's face looked like". He stopped for a second. "I, I've lost my humanity. I can't even look into her eyes without scaring her".
"I don't understand"? He said as he got up and started laughing a bit. He paced the room for a minute, laughing the entire time.
"What's so funny"? Harry asked, sounding extremely offended.
"I understand better than you think", Sirius said, his jovial face turning into one of severe expression.
"What"? Harry looked up surprised [more by his change in expression].
"Did you already forget, that I was supposed to be Lily and James' secret keeper"? He said in a melancholy voice. "But I decided that it would be better if that rat Pettigrew did it", he said with hatred in his eyes. "I handed Lily and James over to him, and to Voldemort. And you can believe me; that thought crossed my mind more than once while I was in azkaban". He sat down by Harry, hands cupping his face. "So you see Harry, I do know what it feels like to hurt those that you love".
He faced Harry and put his hands on Harry's shoulder making Harry look him straight in the face. "Harry listen to me", he started. "You are a very kind person. You hate hurting other people, especially those who you love. You haven't lost your humanity. Being able to care for others, being able to feel their pain. That is the one thing that separates us from the animals". He stopped for a second, not knowing what to say next. "Pettigrew for example", he started again, with anger in his voice. "He is a person that has lost his humanity. He'd sell out his own mother for a little bit of reflected glory. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, just like the beasts".
Sirius saw that none of this was sinking into Harry's head so he decided on a new approach. "Harry, Hogwarts is the only place where you will be safe. It's very dangerous now a days, especially for you", Sirius took the letter from the drawer and placed it into Harry's lap. "Dumbledore's charm won't last for much longer, and you can't go back to those muggles. The best place for you to be right now is under Dunbledore's watchful eye".
"Sirius", Harry started with panic in his voice. "I can't go back, I just can't". Harry put his head in his hands, holding it tight as if he were having another one of his mental attacks.
"Oh Harry", Sirius said shaking his head. "Right now, is one of those very rare times, when I'm actually glad that your parents are dead. If they saw you now, in the state you're in, putting yourself down, while others are trying to bring you up; well I don't know what they'd say".
Harry didn't move from his position.
"Harry", Sirius said in a higher tone. "If you don't want to go back for me or for yourself, then go back for your mother", he said tears beginning to form in his eyes. He held them back and continued. "She gave her life, so that you could have a chance to live. Do you really want to throw that chance away"?! He yelled the last line.
When he saw that Harry didn't answer him he looked down at him and started talking in a very angry voice. "Look Harry! You are going back to Hogwarts, and you are going to be safe, even if I have to drag you onto that train kicking and screaming"! He took Harry's shoulders and forced him to look him straight in the eyes. "Promise-me" He shouted. "For the sake of your parents, promise me that you're going to keep yourself safe".
Harry saw tears coming out of Sirius' eyes. Sirius was a very strong man; he even survived azkaban for twelve years without going insane. If he were crying, then that would probably mean that the situation had upset him greatly. "I promise that I'll return to Hogwarts", Harry said in a low voice.
"Good", Sirius said, looking relieved. "Now, I suggest that you go to Gringotts, get your money out, and buy the books that you need for school. I'll leave a minute after you do. I'm sure that everyone will be so busy trying to get a peak at Harry Potter as he leaves, that they won't notice a black dog leaving his room".
"Ok", Harry said. He picked up the letter that was on his lap, stood up and walked out the door.
"His eyes", Sirius said to himself. "There is so much pain in them. If this keeps up he'll…ughhh", he sighed. He turned into a dog waited until he heard that everyone was paying attention to Harry (a dog can hear much better than a human can), and left his room. He ran downstairs and out of the leaky cauldron, unnoticed by anyone.
