If Onlys 1/1
Rating: pg13
Series: Gundam Wing
Genre: General/Angst
Pairings: 1x2x1; RxOC
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Language; Background Yaoi
By Moon Faery

Archived: (eventually at) Moon Faery's Garden (); Kiss of Death (); Lev's Lair ()

Disclaimer: A statement created solely to save one's ass from becoming lawn for the proverbial legal mower. I do not own Gundam Wing. All materials are used without the permission of their various owners. However, this story line, original characters and plot are MINE. Holds fic close to her.) Grrrr....

Author Notes: (sweatdrop) My apologies to all of the decent Jeremys out there. Damn my muses...

***

...Bzzt

"Mmnn..." Duo shifted around in bed, absently fumbling at a silent alarm clock. After punching the snooze button, he snuggled back down into Heero's ribs, one hand snaking down to toy with the waist band of Heero's boxers.

...Bzzt

"G'way..."

...Bzzt

"Grrmmph..."

Pick up the goddamned phone asshole!

Heero tumbled out of bed, falling flat on his back with Duo sprawled gracelessly on top of him. With a snort, Heero shoved his lover off him and rolled to the side, using the mattress as a handhold to help haul his groggy self upright. "I'm going to kill you for programing it to do that," he threatened his partner, who was rubbing his head in pain.

ONE more ring and I'm gonna...

"Hey, it works, don't it?" Duo argued sleepily, blinking to clear his blurry eyes enough to untangle himself from the bedclothes. "Get the phone, will ya? B'fore it wakes up the neighbors."

With one last glare Heero punched the receive button on their bedside phone. The screen flashed the words Receiving Audio Signal. "Yuy. What do you want?"

"Polite as ever, I see," Relena's voice came over the speakers, sounding disgustingly chipper for the hour. "Do you always answer the phone like that?"

"I do at three in the morning," Heero answered automatically. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Relena's voice cracked. "What makes you think somethings wrong?"

"Maybe 'cause it's damn near dawn," Duo chimed in, having freed himself from the linens. "What can we do you for, Princess?"

"I understand the going rate for two males is three hundred an hour in Vienna," she joked lightly. "I'm sorry I disturbed you. I didn't realize it was this late."

"Stayed up late working again?" Heero frowned sympathetically. "I thought we told you to stop that."

"Oh, I wasn't working. I mean... Well, it's somewhat complicated." She hissed something that sounded vaguely vulgar under her breath, too low for the microphone to pick up. There was a faint sound of something crinkling, accompanied by a crunching noise.

"Relena, why don't you have visuals on?" Duo asked suddenly, eyes narrowing.

There was a pause. "This phone's broken."

The two men exchanged a glance in the monitor light, silently telling each other that after five years in politics, Relena was still a horrible liar.

The lack of visuals apparently didn't effect Relena's ability to tell what their expressions were, because she barely paused before moving on. "Duo, would you mind stopping by here sometime tomorrow morning? I need to speak with you."

"Oh?" Duo's voice was suspicious. "We're up now. Why don't we get it out of the way?"

There was a flustered silence. "It's just too complicated to talk about over audio," Relena tried to explain. "We really need to meet face to face to discuss this."

Duo shrugged, even though she couldn't see it. "No prob, Princess. Me and Heero-"

"No!"

Heero's eyebrows shot up. "No?"

"No, it's just..." Relena sighed. "Please, just Duo? It's important."

They looked at each other. One of Heero's bare shoulders twitched in a shrug; Duo rolled his eyes. "Lot of help you are, lover mine," he grumbled. "Okay, Princess, you've got me. I'll be at your place at oh-eight, whether you're awake or not."

"Thank you so much, Duo!" Relena sighed in what was definitely relief.

"Anytime you need me, Princess," the long-haired man said glibly. Freezing, Duo frowned as he thought of something. "Hey, um... Rels, I don't mean to be rude, but you might want to make sure assh- Jeremy's out of the house. I don't want to start anything with your husband just 'cause we don't get along."

"Don't worry about Jeremy," Relena reassured him, voice forcibly normal. "He's out of town for the week."

Heero scowled. "That's sudden. I thought he had a meeting on Wednesday."

"Plans change," she told them shortly. "I'll leave you to your rest." There was a smooching noise, like she blew them a kiss. "Relena out."

Heero and Duo were left standing the the dark as the screen faded to black. Finally, Duo snorted. "You saw her first."

***

"Yo, Princess!" Duo swept into the generously sized manor cautiously, one hand half-ready to pull his gun from its shoulder holster. "You in here?" He peeked down a hallway worriedly.

"I'm upstairs," Relena called down, voice echoing from a grand stairwell directly across from the main entrance. "I'll meet you in the family dining room."

Duo still felt suspicious, but let his gun hand drop to a more comfortable position as he started wandering towards the kitchen. "Hey, where's the door-guy?"

"I gave the staff the week off."

"Yeah, well I think I broke your doorknob picking the lock. Next time write a note and stick it to the door or something." Duo poked his head into the kitchen warily, noticing that the five hundred pound man Relena called a culinary master had apparently been given a holiday too. Lucky him. Taking a sharp right, he looked into the tiny dining room that was reserved for Relena and her husband during informal meals. It was probably the least used room in the house.

In the center of the small round table was a platter of various fruit, three types of chocolate dipping sauce and a pot of coffee, sitting in their own warmed or chilled dishes. Two places were set, both with a large bowl of fresh strawberries.

Someone deliberately stepped on a creaky floorboard behind him. "If you were able to break in at all, I probably needed a new lock anyways."

Braid bristling in shock, Duo grabbed his chest and gasped, whirling around to face his hostess. "Geez, Rels, don't do that to a..." His eyes widened in shock. "Relena?"

Relena smiled painfully from behind her purpling eye, touching it gently with one hand. The other held a compress "Awful, isn't it? I managed to get most of the staff dismissed before they saw, but I suspect the tabloids will have their stories written by the end of the week."

"What happened?"

She smiled slightly and brushed by him on her way to the table, giving Duo a subtle shove towards his own chair. "Take a seat, Duo."

Without much thought, he did what she asked, dropping his leather jacket over the back of the chair and shoving his braid down the back of his tank top to keep it out of the chocolate. Picking up an apple, Duo rolled it over in his hands, keeping ome eye on the compress she had laid by her plate. "Relena, what happened?"

Sighing, the blonde girl picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the dark chocolate, rolling it around to catch every drip before viciously sinking her pearly white teeth into the small red berry. Chewing delicately, she eyed the rest of the berry. "There's more to it than taste," she mused quietly.

Duo tapped his knuckles lightly on the wooden table top. "Relena."

Eyes only a few shades lighter than his own blinked. "I'm sorry, Duo," the Vice Foreign Minister appologized. "You wanted to know how I got this, right?"

"That'd be nice," he snorted sarcastically. "C'mon, just spit it out. I promise I won't kill you."

"It's not me I'm worried about." Relena didn't take her eyes off the half-eaten strawberry in her hands. "I assume you know I'm resigning from office," she said conversationally, pursing her lips in thought before finishing off the rest of the berry.

The pilot nodded. "Yeah, you asked me and Heero what we thought about it last week. I think it's a good idea."

"Jeremy didn't."

The apple dropped as Duo sprang to his feet, gun drawn. "That mother fucking son of a bitch! I'm-"

"No!" Relena leaned across the table to grab his wrist. Duo looked down at her, pulled from his rage. "This is why I didn't want you to bring Heero! Now sit down and listen before you run out to kill someone!" She blinked, smiling guiltily as she released his wrist and sank back into her chair. "Please?"

Duo cussed under his breath, but put his gun away and sat down, grabbing a cherry from the bowl. "You'd better have a good reason for this, Princess, 'cause if you don't I'm gonna kill him."

"It's over, Duo." Relena's deep blue eyes bored into Duo's violet ones. "We had an argument, he hit me. I'm leaving him-"

"Damned straight you are!" Duo cut in, banging on the table with his right fist.

Relena's finely manicured nails were cutting into her palms. Her head was tilted down as she fought to keep from crying. "Duo, please. It's hard enough to do this as it is."

"Oh, God Rels." Relena jumped as strong arms grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a warm hug. She hadn't even heard his chair scrape. "I'm sorry. Go ahead and say what you have to. I won't yell anymore."

It was too much. Before she could stop them, salty hot tears started pouring down her cheeks, soaking Duo's shoulder. Her throat tightened so much that for several long minutes she couldn't speak at all, only sob. Thoughts she had thought she had dealt with ran through her head.

'If only Jeremy had been like this... had cared this much. If only Heero and Duo weren't gay... If only...' She couldn't bring herselt to follow the last thought through, though her subconcious continued on with it happily. If only one of them had fallen in love with her. If only she had fallen in love with one of them. If only the whole God damned war hadn't happened at all.

There were a lot of "if onlys".

"I- I told him I was retiring," Relena choked out, sniffling, face still burried in Duo's shoulder. "Yo- you know how important my career was to him. He got- got upset and started ye- yelling." Her voice caught, making her gasp for air. "We fought, a- and he h- hi- hit me. I- I to-told him to get out, an- and called ou- our lawyer t-to write up the di- div- di-" She forced the word out through a throat that didn't want anything to do with it. "Divorce papers!" She grabbed for Duo's knee-length braid over his shoulder, cradling it in her hands like something fragile and precious.

"Sh, sh, it's okay Princess," Duo soothed her, rocking her back and forth gently while rubbing soft circles between her shoulder blades. "You did right, Relena. It's okay."

"Did I?" she asked, another sob wrenching her shoulders. "I- I know that if he hi- hit me once, he mi- might do it again, but..."

"No buts," Duo told her firmly. "There's no excuse for him hitting you. If you hadn't left him, I would've had to kill him."

"You wouldn't!"

"Yeah, I would." Gripping her arms, Duo carefully pried her off of him so he could look her in the eye. "Look, Princess, you're as damn close to a sister as Heero and I've got. You've got the both of us wrapped 'round your little finger. About the only thing keeping me from chasing the Asshole down and skinning him is that you asked me not to."

Relena's tears slowed as his sincerity worked its way through her muddled emotions. His words were oddly reassuring, in an oddly over-protective homocidal silbling way. "Thank you."

Duo eyed her for a minute, pulling a clean fast food napkin out of his pocket and offering it to her, manuevering her backwards into a chair. "Blow your nose, Rel-babe. Don't try to dry your eyes. Shiners like that are a bitch after crying." [1]

She nodded, busy dabbing her running nose, and offered him a watery smile.

Duo leaned against the table, watching her deal with the aftermath of her bout of tears. Once she had started breathing normally the blotches of red on her cheeks started to fade and her nose stopped running. She was too pale for his liking, her eyes were both bloodshot and the non-bruised eye had bags under it.

He frowned worriedly. Without her staff to force her to take care of herself, he knew she would worry herself to death over Jeremy. "Rels, you're a wreck."

Reddened blue eyes glared at him weakly. "You sure know how to make a girl feel better, Maxwell."

Violet eyes met her blue ones forcefully. "I'm being serious. Why don't you come stay with me and Heero for the week? You don't need to be alone right now."

She sniffed deeply, looking down at her hands. "I'm not suicidal, if that's what you're thinking. I can manage."

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should," Duo told her gently. "We're your friends. It's okay to lean on us now and then."

Her eyes filled up, and before she knew it Relena was crying again.

Duo's eyes widened in panic. "Relena, I'm sorr-"

"No, no, don't be," she sniffled, looking up and smiling at him. "I'm happy. Really. I... I just don't know what I'd do without you."

His eyes softened. "You don't need to worry about that, Rels, 'cause you've got us." He reached into the bowl and pulled out a strawberry, pressing it into her hand. "Finish eating breakfast, then we'll pack some things for the week and see what we can do to cover up that eye for the ride home."

"I don't want to put you or Heero out..."

"Heero won't mind." Duo reached up and pulled something out of his ear, dropping it on the table. "Confirm, Zero-One?"

"Roger that, Zero-Two," the earphone whispered.

"You were bugged?" Relena's eye nearly popped out of her head and she completely forgot to keep crying.

"We were worried," Duo told her pointedly. "You're the worst liar I've ever met, and you aren't the type to accidentally call up in the middle of the night."

She giggled, eyes closing in resignation. "You guys have no idea how much I love you, do you?" she chuckled. "I just wish..."

Duo hugged her again. "We know, Princess. If there was a chance it was like that... You know we'd take it."

"I know." Relena's blonde head rested against Duo's chest comfortably. "I guess it's back to the meat market. Maybe this time I'll let you two screen the guys like you wanted to with Jeremy."

"I told you so," the earphone said smugly. "Duo, get her home. We'll call in sick for the week."

Lifting the tail end of his braid to his lips, Duo spoke directly into the microphone. "Got it, Heero. Order Thai for lunch and break out the chocolate cake mixes."

"Acknowledged. Signing off." There was a brief burst of static, then silence.

Poking Relena in the ribs, Duo jerked his chin at the bowl of fruit. "Eat up, Princess."

Relena looked up at him gratefully before starting to peel and orange. "Thank you, Duo."

"No prob. I told you, we're here for you." He grinned. "Hey, Rels, you ever ridden a motorcycle?"

***OWARI***

[1] I've (thankfully) never had a black eye, so I don't know if this is true. It just seems to me that screwing up your face and bawling like a baby would be painful for someone who has one.