Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters from FFVII, more's the pity. But, Seph is my muse, so there!
AN - Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I noticed many of you had comments about the way I have Sephiroth written, and the way AVALANCHE seemed to forgive him so easily. My review responses on the previous page cleared those up, I hope. If not, feel free to send me a personal email, and I will respond that way too : ) Anyway, I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and continue to review : )
Chapter 5 - One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Sephiroth sat at his computer console, tapping out commands to call up information from Hojo's files methodically, blue/green eyes narrowed in thought. After being forced to stay in bed by a very aggressive and protective Tifa, he'd finally managed to make his way down to his room. He could hear Tifa upstairs, raging ineffectively at his locked door that he wasn't supposed to be up yet, but he ignored her, although a slight smile curved his lips at some of the choice phrasing that she was using. That woman could pack a lot of punch . . . even into her words. His smile blossomed into a full grin as he heard Cloud enter the bar and Tifa turned on him, shouting out how difficult Sephiroth was being and how she was gonna strangle a certain former general if she got her hands on him. He heard Cloud reply, although he couldn't make out the words . . . he was pretty sure it was along the lines of telling Tifa to calm down, because Tifa fell silent.
Snorting softly at his turn of thought, he returned his attention back to the computer screen before him, still searching for that elusive bit of information he needed. He thought he was on to something . . . now if he could just find the original report of when Jenova had first been discovered . . . there it was. He called up the file and read over it carefully, noting certain points of it on a notepad by his hand.
"Hey Seph . . . would you mind coming up here before Tifa tears the bar apart trying to see if you are still conscious?" Cloud called through the door. Behind him, Tifa stood, silently fuming, Vincent silently holding her from bodily attacking the door again.
"That stupid . . . arrogant . . . JACKASS!" she exploded. "How could he lock the damn door . . . he's still not healed fully . . . he could be unconscious, bleeding . . ."
"I am fine, Tifa," Sephiroth murmured, stepping through the door and closing it behind him. "I wanted to get back into looking at Hojo's files for some information . . . the sooner this is over with, the better all of you will be." Tifa was at his side in an instant, checking his bandages carefully for any sign that he had reopened the wounds. Sephiroth glanced at Cloud, quirking an eyebrow in question. Cloud simply rolled his eyes and shrugged.
"I don't care what the hell you were doing . . . I told you to stay in that damn bed, and you are going to stay there, even if I have to strap you in to it!" Tifa sighed, and looked up at him. "Sephiroth . . . please."
"Very well. I will stay in the bed . . . but only for one more day, Tifa. We lose valuable time with this 'mothering' you insist on." Cloud winced, knowing he was in for it now.
"If you call caring that someone I count as a FRIEND is HURT a loss of valuable time, you have a LOT to learn about being human, you arrogant prick!" Tifa stopped as Sephiroth dropped his gaze, hiding his eyes behind his bangs.
"Yes . . . I do have a lot to learn about being something I am not," he whispered. "I am neither a friend, nor a human." Shrugging out of her reach, he returned to his sick room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
"Oh no . . . I didn't mean that," she murmured, staring after him. She started forward, only to be stopped by Vincent's claw on her shoulder.
"Leave him be, Tifa. You've reminded him of something painful and I do not think he will appreciate your company right now. I know how he feels . . . once upon a time I felt that I was no longer human, but something else altogether. He has many scars that need to heal . . . emotional ones that Hojo and Shin-Ra caused with their experiments and their genetic tampering." Cloud stepped to her side, his gaze also locked on the door.
"Vincent is right, Tifa. Just leave him be . . . he needs time to come to terms with a life he's never had before." Tifa nodded, tears forming in her eyes. She hadn't meant that the way it came out . . . the new Sephiroth they had all come to know was as human as they were, no matter what his genetic makeup was. And he WAS their friend . . . even if he had been the enemy once. Sighing, she turned to go into the kitchen, dashing away tears with the back of her hand. Vincent and Cloud looked after her, then turned to each other.
"Vincent . . ." Cloud began quietly, mindful of the two people within hearing distance, "how do we help him come to terms with something we don't even begin to understand? You are the only one who has even a remote idea of what he's going through . . . and even your experience pales in comparison to what was done to him. What are we supposed to do?" Vincent shrugged, his crimson eyes dark as he met Cloud's blue gaze.
"He's the only one that can really do anything about it, Cloud. All any of us can do . . . is show him that he is not alone anymore . . . that he finally has friends." Vincent glanced at the door, then continued thoughtfully. "I may, however, have something that will help him . . . I found it the other day."
"What is it?" Cloud asked, curious.
"Lucrecia's journal . . . the one she kept during her pregnancy." Vincent sighed. "I was hoping to show it to him one day when he'd begun his own life . . . but I think now would be a better time."
"Where the hell did you find that?!"
"It was in the storage vault that I finally managed to open the other day . . . it seems they placed all her personal effects in there after she died." He shifted slightly, pulling the bound leather book from inside his cloak. "I only hope it will help . . . it could very well send him further into his darkness."
"That's a chance we'll have to take, Vincent."
*----------*----------*----------*----------*
Sephiroth stepped outside the bar silently, pulling his hood up over his head, hiding his hair from sight. Shouldering his pack, he stepped into the middle of the street, stopping to take a last glance back at Seventh Heaven. His home . . . his haven . . . his friends. He snorted, shaking the sentimental thoughts from his head and drawing the cold mask over his features once again, sealing away his feelings to savor later as precious memories he would forever carry in his heart. Determined, he left Midgar, carrying in his head the information he needed to complete his final mission . . . the mission that would, in the end, hopefully grant him peace . . . in death.
"I am coming for you Jenova . . . this time, it ends forever. No more resurrections."
*----------*----------*----------*----------*
"He's gone," Vincent said, entering the bar with his usual gloomy air.
"Whadda ya mean, he's gone!?" Barrett roared, standing suddenly.
"He's gone?! Gone where?" Tifa asked. The others echoed her question. In answer, Vincent held out a single sheet of paper to Cloud, who read it, and sighed, nodding as he sat back in his chair.
"Why am I not surprised that he would do this?" Cloud muttered, running a hand through his hair in agitation.
"DO WHAT?" Tifa asked urgently. "What has he done!?"
"Calm down, Teef. It won't do any good to get hyped up about it at the moment." He stood slowly, and glanced at all of them. "Sephiroth has left us, gone to hunt Jenova down . . . on his own." Tifa snatched the letter out of his hands, her eyes skimming the words carefully. Tears fell down her cheeks unchecked as the words tore at her heart.
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To the members of AVALANCHE :
It is time that I moved on . . . time that I took the final steps towards completing this mission and ending the threat that hovers over this entire planet once and for all. I had never intended to involve any of you in this mission . . . and I still do not. I will go on as I originally intended - alone, as is my fate.
I could not leave, however, without at least a word of thanks, to all of you. You have shown me much, and taught me much as well, about what life could have been like had I not been what I am. For that, I am eternally grateful to all of you . . . and therefore, I hope you can forgive me this final wish to protect you, who have accepted me, and all my horrifying past.
I say final wish, for this is will be the last you will see or hear of me. Even should I survive the encounter with Jenova, I will simply disappear.
Do not mourn for me. I have no need of your pity, and indeed, I do not deserve it. I am, and always will be, a monster that science created. Be safe, and prosper . . . my friends.
To Cloud : Be on your guard always, Strife. If I should fail . . . she will come for you. Be mindful always . . . she will talk to you sweetly at first, sounding like the voice of your conscience, like a part of you. That is how she will draw you in to accepting her . . . do not be fooled. I will protect you as long as I can, keeping her greater power trapped within my mind . . . but if it does not work, my task must, by necessity, fall to you. Be careful, for she is cunning and powerful.
To Vincent : There is information you will find on the files I downloaded that I think you will find most interesting. I know that I did . . . I also know that it shocked me to the core. I, like you, was made into a hellish creature . . . but unlike you, there can be no redemption for me. While you remain human in all the essentials, that is something I never was, and never could be. I have always known that, and no matter how hard I deny it, that fact remains. Thank you . . . for both what you tried to do, and for what you accomplished. My mother must have cared for you deeply . . . to protect you as she did by keeping the truth from you.
In Parting,
Seth Masamune
Sephiroth
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"Oh, Sephiroth . . ." Tifa murmured, wiping away her tears. "You guys . . . we have to go after him."
"Don't worry, Tifa. We will . . . we just need to figure out where he is going," Cloud replied. He glanced around at the assembled members of AVALANCHE, meeting each gaze with his own. "This isn't an official mission for AVALANCHE . . . so anyone who does not wish to go doesn't have to. Cid can take any of you back in the Highwind before we leave."
"Cloud, man . . . I don't think any of us are leavin'. Jenova's still out dere . . . she remains a threat to the Planet, which is why AVALANCHE was formed. As for Sephiroth . . . well, hell. The man may have been an enemy at one time . . . but I think all of us realize now that he's not the same person. This Sephiroth is our friend . . . and ain't a one of us that is gonna leave a friend to face Jenova alone. So, stop yappin' and get packin'," Barrett said firmly. Cloud nodded, and smiled slightly.
"Well, we can't leave right away . . . we still need to find out where he is going. Vincent . . . you're the computer wiz. See what you can come up with on his computer, would ya?" Vincent nodded, and in a whirl of crimson and black, disappeared down into the basement to attach himself to Sephiroth's console. The other's scattered to their individual living quarters to gather supplies.
Finally, only Tifa remained, staring down at the letter in her hand with determination. She kept reading it over and over, wondering silently what had made him take this course of action. Cloud approached her slowly, resting a hand lightly on her shoulder.
"We'll find him Tifa," he murmured. She spun suddenly, burying her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist as she sobbed.
"This is all my fault, Cloud! If I hadn't made that comment about him needing to learn about being human . . ." Cloud ran a gentle hand over her back in soothing circles, trying to calm her.
"Tifa . . . I think he's been planning on doing this for a while now. You saw what he wrote . . . he never intended for us to even know he was still alive. He's still so new at this whole friendship thing . . . of course he would want to protect us in any way he could . . . even if it meant going to face his own death. He still feels he needs to pay for his sins . . . even if most of them weren't his to begin with." He shifted to stare down into her face, his own set in serious lines. "We'll bring him back Tifa . . . and then we'll continue to teach him what real life is like. I promise you." Tifa nodded, wiping her tears away before resting her head gently against him. He sighed, hugging her tightly, his face determined.
*----------*----------*----------*----------*
Hours passed slowly as everyone completed their preparations for the journey ahead. Cloud, growing anxious, decided to head downstairs to see if Vincent had come up with any clues on where their enigmatic friend was heading.
Coming down the stairs, he froze at the sight of Vincent, his head in his hands, sitting silently in front of the blank computer screen.
"Vincent? What's wrong? Didn't find anything?" Vincent laughed, a horrible mocking sound that sent shivers down his spine.
"Oh . . . I found something . . . too much, I think," he murmured. "I found out that Hojo was not Sephiroth's father." Cloud looked at him in shock.
"Then . . . then who was?" Cloud asked quietly, unsure if he really wanted to know. Vincent's next reply confirmed that feeling.
"Me."
"Vincent . . . I . . ." his voice trailed off. He was unsure of what to say . . . of what he COULD say in a situation like this.
"Lucrecia . . . she kept it from all of us . . . to keep Hojo from lashing out in jealous rage." He took a deep breath, looking up at Cloud finally, his eyes haunted. "Sephiroth . . . is my son." He stood abruptly in agitation. Cloud looked on silently, unsure of how to handle this unusually emotional Vincent, so different from the calm, collected man he thought he knew. "Great Planet, Cloud . . . if I had known . . . to think of what he went through . . . I could have stopped it."
"Vincent . . . if no one knew but Lucrecia . . . you couldn't have done anything. Even if you had known, there was nothing you could do. Sephiroth was Shin-Ra's most prized experiment . . . do you honestly think they would have let him go without a fight? You would have died . . . and then Lucrecia would never have been avenged. The only thing you can do for him . . . for your son . . . is help him live a better life then he's had until now. But first we have to find him . . . do you have any idea where he's gone?" Vincent nodded, taking another deep breath to center himself and calm his raging emotions.
"He's going . . . to Nibelheim. Where it all started."
To Be Continued
AN - don't forget to review ; )
