Title: Heal My Heart Once More
Rating: PG for now
Summary: [Rinoa/Squall/Quistis] Afraid of their growing relationship, Squall Leonhart tries to break off all ties to Rinoa Heartilly. But two years later, when fate brings them together once again, he realizes he never stopped caring for her. Thing is, she has.
Author's Note: Hooray for reviews! ^^ Thank you so much for the comments, too. I'm sorry about the constant bolding; I'll try to lessen that… but I just want you to know that I purposely bolded certain words to get a certain effect on how you say it… but, oh well. Anything for my reviewers! XD So… everyone so far wants a Squall/Rinoa? No worries! I can do that. I have a feeling that this will turn into one, anyway, no matter how much I like Quistis. ;P Sorry, Quistis fans, but I think that she really won't have a main part until next chapter, so… don't be mad if she's not a major character in this chapter yet. >.
Chapter 1: "Longings of the Heart"
Squall held his breath as he stood at the entrance to the ballroom. Quistis held onto his left arm as his escort, and she knew he was nervous. Trying to soothe him, she gently rubbed her thumb in circles on his hand, and leaned towards him, whispering, "It's okay, Squall. We can do this. You'll be fine."
He nodded slightly, still afraid to enter. What if… Rinoa… no… He couldn't think of her now. It wasn't appropriate; he was here with Quistis. Quistis was his escort; not Rinoa. Besides, he wasn't even sure she would be here. There was no need for her to. Unless Cid invited her… but surely he wouldn't do such a thing as that? Rinoa was a part of defeating Ultimecia, though… She could be invited out of sheer politeness with regards to Balamb Garden… Squall shook his head. Enough with the thoughts of Rinoa. If she's here, then she's here. There's nothing I have to say to her. But, oh… in his heart he longed to say everything he felt to her…
"Ready, Squall?" Quistis smiled brightly at him, looking down quickly to flatten out a crease on her dress.
Squall didn't smile, but attempted to give a fake one. He had to admit, though, Quistis was indeed beautiful. Since she was an escort to the Commander of Balamb Garden, she was given a choice whether to wear her SeeD uniform or her own. Of course she wanted to wear one of her own. Squall had never seen her wear it before. It was a shimmering, smooth gold dress, which molded and clung to her body. Yes, she did look wonderful tonight. Her hair was all done and up, into a pretty bun, with expensive-looking gold earrings and a matching necklace. And, of course, to complete her ensemble, a gold band around her left fourth finger, with a rather large diamond heart on it, surrounded by smaller circular diamonds.
This was the first time Quistis would be wearing the ring in public; a sign of their official marriage. And Squall was very nervous about it. That ring meant reporters from all over the world would be questioning them all night, taking endless pictures. And he did not want that.
Squall gave her a polite nod. "Yeah… let's go."
The ballroom was decorated wonderfully; if Squall remembered correctly, it look as it did two years ago, when… He closed his eyes tightly. No more thinking about Rinoa… I'm here with Quistis… Yes, Quistis. He opened his eyes again, a bit more relieved. Just get through tonight, and everything will be okay… He looked over at Quistis, who looked delighted. No more was she clinging onto his arm like before; now she was conversing with the important people of the world, being ever so charming and polite to a certain President.
"Oh, Laguna! You are quite funny… I don't think I've ever heard a father make jokes about his son like that in public." She smiled warmly at him.
Squall, hearing his name, quickly turned around. What he saw was not pleasing to his eye: his wife chatting with his father. He made his way to them, grabbing Quistis' hand.
"Squall?… What…" was all she could say as he dragged her away from his father.
He looked on ahead as he made his way through the crowd, his teeth clenched. "I don't want you talking to my father," he said simply. He stopped and looked at the ground.
"Why not?" Quistis brought a hand up to his cheek. "Honey, I was only being polite. After all, he is the President, you know… I'm sorry."
At the feminine touch, Squall leaned into it, placing his hand over hers. "It's okay…" For a moment, he could pretend this was Rinoa; her touch, her smell… the way she felt in his arms. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his hands around her waist and drew her close, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair. Rinoa…
Quistis sighed happily in his arms. She was so glad she had him. She gently hugged him back, then pulled away. She noticed his eyes were not yet opened. "Squall?"
As he opened his eyes, they focused on Quistis… Quistis; not Rinoa… not Rinoa. "Yes?"
She stared deeply into his eyes; they were so blank… so confused… so helpless. "Um… I just left Laguna there. I think it'd be impolite to leave him hanging, don't you?"
Squall closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. "Yeah. Go. I'll just… get us some punch."
Quistis gave him a little smile. "Thanks. I'll be right back, okay? After I talk with Laguna, Irvine and Selphie said they'd meet us."
"Okay. Sounds good," he said in a monotone voice.
She was still worried about him, but decided to let him mope a little. She knew when he needed to be alone.
Squall scanned the ballroom for the drinks, and made his way through the crowd of people. Thank Hyne he'd gotten through all the reporters already; Cid was now taking care of them. Thankfully, they hadn't yet seen Quistis' ring…
As he poured the second cup of punch, he felt a hand clap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a grinning cowboy… except without the hat, for once.
"Hey, Squall! Glad you came!… What's that, there? Oh, punch! I see. Me an' Selph are over at Table 14 over there, if you wanna stop by, okay? Say, where's Quistis? Oh, there she is. Talking with Sir Laguna. I guess that means me and Selph will have to go talk to him, too, huh? We haven't seen him in a while. Anyway, I'm gonna grab Selph so we can say hi to him. I'll see you later, Squall." He turned quickly and left Squall alone.
Squall had stared at him the entire time he was talking, and sighed. I wonder if Irvine managed to sneak some real alcohol in… He sounds like he's been drinking… Or maybe that's just Selphie rubbing off on him… He managed a weak smile to himself. He took the two glasses of punch and made his way to where Laguna was happily chatting with Quistis, and now Irvine, Zell, and Selphie. Suddenly, he almost tripped over himself when he caught a glimpse of her.
She was simply beautiful; his angel. Her dress was similar to the one she wore… two years ago, except it was a bit longer this time, and more elegant. Her raven hair was down; simple, yet Squall loved it when her hair was like that… and… she was making her way… over… to… him?
Squall gulped hard, trying to avoid looking at her, yet she stopped right in front of him… and to his surprise, she smiled happily at him, acting casual.
Squall! Nice to see you! Oh," she said, looking at the punch glass he held in his left hand, "is this for me?" She giggled. "Thank you!" She took it from him delicately, and all he could do was stare at her sheer beauty…
"Squall, is something wrong?" She looked down at her dress, afraid she had spilled some punch.
"Uh…" He quickly averted his eyes from her, and looked instead at the floor. "No."
"Oh…" She looked like she was going to say more, but just then, a blond man came from behind her and wrapped his arms around her, immediately giving her a kiss on her neck.
She giggled, and turned around slightly in his arms, giving Seifer Almasy a quick kiss on the lips. Turning back to Squall, she saw a rather hurt look on his face. Feeling sympathetic, Rinoa pulled away from her boyfriend and touched Squall's free hand lightly. "Hey… you look like you aren't feeling good. Are you sick?"
Squall looked up at her. He was so close to her… and his heart ached for her. He managed to compose his posture and the look on his face was solemn as he avoided eye contact with her. She was dating Seifer Almasy (again), of all people…
"Squall? You sure you don't want to leave or something?" her gentle voice asked worriedly. She hadn't seen him in years… was she was cause of his sudden illness? Surely he had not maintained certain feelings for her— he was the one who broke them up two years ago. And she couldn't have imagined it any other way. Squall was right; they didn't need each other. She had Seifer now. He was always there for her. But the look on his face as he saw Seifer and her kiss… her heart stung with compassion for him.
Squall heard a snicker behind Rinoa. "What a wimp… after two years you still can't get over her?" A glint was in Seifer's cold eyes.
Rinoa quickly jabbed her elbow into his stomach, smiling sweetly at Squall and ignoring the silent curses of her boyfriend, who was now clutching his stomach. She secretively covered a side of her mouth with a straight hand and whispered, "Don't mind Seifer. He's just a little jealous…" She winked.
He tried not to look interested as he inspected the floor again and said, "Whatever."
She smiled knowingly at him. " 'Whatever,' indeed. I'll see you later… We're meeting up with the guys later on." She held her glass of punch carefully in her hand as she wrapped an arm over the pained Seifer. Then she turned to Squall, and with a little wave, mingled into the crowd with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend… Squall still couldn't believe she was back with Seifer. But that one moment… just being near her again… He breathed deep, the scent of Rinoa still lingering in the air. He missed her so much; he just had never been to admit it to himself before.
Even after two years, she hadn't changed. And Squall wouldn't have it any other way: carefree, beautiful, impulsive… she made his heart race. Jealousy quickly coursed through his veins as the thought of Seifer and Rinoa as a couple entered his mind. Were they really together, or was Rinoa just using him to make him jealous? It was something Rinoa would do…
But as his eyes located them again, he went against that thought. They were having fun; teasing each other and laughing… almost like he used to do with her… or rather, almost like she used to do with him. Trying to get a little breather from the current events, he made his way to the balcony outside, where he and Rinoa had shared their first kiss.
He looked up painfully at the sky, hoping for some sign that would show him that marrying Quistis was wrong; that Rinoa was the one he loved all along; that 'Squall and Rinoa' were meant for each other…
He swallowed hard, searching desperately for a sign… a shooting star, to be exact…
And he was deeply disappointed when none appeared.
He sighed heavily. We're too different. We're leading different lives… we don't belong together, he convinced himself as he turned around, retreating sadly back to the ballroom.
Once he fully disappeared from the balcony, a shooting star quickly shot across the midnight sky amongst the other twinkling stars…
Author's Note: Yes, it looks like a Squall/Rinoa for sure. *sighs* Sorry, Squall/Quistis fans… but I don't know. I could turn it around. I just need some suggestions and things if you want a Squall/Quistis. Reviews, please! Flames are accepted as always, as long as they are tact and helpful along the way… Oh, and I forgot to put up a disclaimer, so… all characters of Final Fantasy VIII are not mine, and they never will be; they are copyright Squaresoft.
So please review!… Reviews make me happy and motivated. Thank you very much! XD
Oh, yes; I also found that listening to the piano solo of Utada Hikaru's "First Love" has a magical touch when you're reading. The lyrics to it are pretty good, too; they describe Squall's feelings completely (even though a woman is singing the song XD) in this story.
