Disclaimer - I don't own them . . . I wish I did.
Author's Notes - Many of you have brought up the question of whether or not there will be a Seph/Tifa/Cloud triangle . . . trust me, no love triangles involving Sephiroth will be found in this fic. However . . . to answer another concern, Aeris will be showing up for a short time in the next chapter, for all those who were dying for her to be around.
Now, onto another concern many seem to have . . . how easily Sephiroth was forgiven by AVALANCHE. Here is my logic on said issue : since they killed him, they've discovered the entire story behind him . . . how he was created, what was done to him as he was growing up, etc. It has been a year since they destroyed him (or so they thought) and they've had a lot of time to absorb this information and come to terms with it. This new information on Sephiroth's past, combined with Cloud's own experiences under Jenova, have made many of them wonder if Sephiroth was really the enemy, or if he was just another puppet, albeit a favored one. Add to that the fact that, when he did show up, he spent three months living and working with them, and became a close friend . . . well, I'm sorry, but if it were me, that would have me wondering if maybe I hadn't been wrong. Maybe I'm just an overly forgiving person when it comes to stuff like that though. At any rate, there is my logic on the subject, for any of you who thought it totally off that he was forgiven so easily. Not everyone has forgiven him . . . he is still the most hated man on the planet . . . Only the individuals who know his past have decided to give him another chance. Likely, anyone else who recognized him would kill him on sight.
Chapter 8 - Regained Mastery
Tifa placed another cold cloth upon Sephiroth's head, smoothing back the platinum strands as she stared down at the hauntingly beautiful face.
"A beautiful fallen angel, looking for salvation . . ." she murmured absently.
"Indeed," Vincent murmured from his perch near the window. Cloud and the other's were scouring the town for any sign of Jenova, but so far they had found nothing. Tifa had refused to leave Sephiroth's side since they had gotten him back to the inn over twelve hours ago, and Vincent needed to stay there, needed to be near his son. He turned crimson eyes to the figure lying in the bed, dark hair falling loosely forward to frame his own haunting face.
"Do you think . . . that he'll come out of this . . . whole?" Tifa murmured, staring at her enigmatic friend as he shifted to walk closer, his own hand reaching out to brush the platinum bangs back from his son's still face.
"I wish I knew, Tifa. That was a particularly nasty trap that Jenova lay for him . . . had we not been with him, he would have gone under again. As it is . . . we may have spared him from Jenova, but who knows whether he will come out of it still in one piece. I wish I knew what she showed him that drove him over the edge like that."
"It was Nibelheim . . . I'm sure of it. She took him back to the day he burned the town down," Tifa murmured thoughtfully. She stared up at Vincent, brushing tears away from her eyes absently. "How can someone live with so much darkness on his soul?"
"It is difficult, Tifa . . . to know that you have killed innocent people because of a single mistake, a single lapse in judgement. He has to deal with that . . . as well as fight her off at every turn. But he is still doing it . . . which only goes to show that he is not the monster he thinks he is. Someday, he may be able to look in a mirror and see that for himself . . . but not now. The blood is still too fresh, the guilt too overwhelming." Tifa nodded and sighed sadly, returning her gaze to Sephiroth. She couldn't imagine doing as he was . . . finding yourself alive again in a world that hated you so completely and totally, a world where hundreds had died at your hands and still more had almost lost their lives.
A slight groan brought her abruptly back to the present as blue/green eyes flickered open slowly, their gaze unfocused for a few moments before understanding returned to them. He turned slightly to regard Tifa, one hand reaching out to cup her face gently in silent gratitude.
"Welcome back," Vincent murmured from the other side of the bed. Sephiroth took his hand away from Tifa's face, using it to lever himself into a sitting position.
"How long?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
"We have no idea how long she was after you . . . but you've been unconscious for nearly fourteen hours. We'd begun to wonder if you were coming back at all," Vincent replied.
"I almost did not," Sephiroth murmured, his eyes going dim with memories. "She nearly had me that time . . . it was my memories of our short time together so far that allowed me to regain the upper hand. She could not stand them and the light that they shone on her darkness." He sighed, his hand absently brushing strands of hair out of his face. "Where are the others?"
"Searching for some sign that she was here . . . we haven't gone to the reactor yet."
"Good. I suspect that is where we will find any signs . . . she chooses to be near Mako at all times." He levered himself off the bed, staggering a little as he leaned against the wall for support. Tifa was at his side in moments.
"You shouldn't be getting up yet . . ." she murmured in concern. Sephiroth looked down at her, a gentle smile gracing his lips.
"The sooner this is over, Tifa, the better all will be. These attacks will only get worse the longer this takes." He glanced into the mirror, and sighed wearily. "I am just going to hide the extent of my hair and keep my eyes down . . . the black comes out too easily now." Sinking back onto the bed, he began to plait his hair into a simple braid, one that was easily hidden once he shrugged into his trench coat. Turning to regard his companions, he managed a weak smile before walking out the door. "It is time to get to the reactor . . . then we can leave this place."
Tifa quickly dialed the others on the PHS as they followed Sephiroth out of the inn and back towards the Shin-Ra Mansion, where they waited for the others. Cloud was the first to show up, jogging up to them and throwing his arms around Tifa in a hug before turning concerned eyes to Sephiroth. Sephiroth merely nodded to him, a look of understanding passing between the two warriors. The rest of the group showed up soon afterwards, Reeve walking with Cid, Barrett and Nanaki coming up not too far behind. Together, they began the ascent to the reactor.
They arrived at the reactor without incident, something they were all vastly relieved by. Since Jenova's trap the past night, they were wary of more . . . especially since Sephiroth was still very vulnerable at the moment. Sephiroth alone went up to the room that had once housed Jenova . . . the others waited on the stairs outside, ready to rush in if anything seemed remotely out of place. He had insisted on that . . . although the others had argued rather heatedly. This was something he had to do alone.
Sephiroth looked around absently before approaching the tube that had contained Jenova so long ago. He knelt by a pool of liquid on the floor, reaching out to touch it with one cool finger. It was still warm . . . which meant she had been here recently . . . probably within the last two or three days. Mako took a long time to cool . . . and this was as warm as tap water, meaning at least a few days had passed since it had spilled. But where had she gone? She liked warmth . . . and she would need a ready supply of Mako. He didn't understand how she still had a body of her own . . . he figured she had either regenerated enough to move or taken over one . . . but if she had taken one over, what one? Were there more people out there with her cells in their bodies that he didn't know of? He stood slowly, taking one last glance around the room before turning to leave. It was then that a glint of light off something near the tube caught his eye.
He reached out for it, and then recoiled in shock as he realized what it was. A tiny round globe of materia . . . one that was solid black. How . . . how had this gotten here? He picked it up carefully, staring at it thoughtfully where it rested in the palm of his hand. It was cold . . . colder then space, colder then death. He could feel it radiating through his glove to the skin of his hand. Standing, he placed it carefully in an inside pocket. He would be it's guardian . . . it was only fitting, seeing as he was the one who had freed it from the temple in the first place.
He left the room after that, finding nothing more in there that would give him any clue to where she was. He did, however, have an idea . . . one that the finding of the black materia had given him.
"We need to go to the City of The Ancients. I . . . need to speak with Aeris." The group stared at him in shock.
"Sephiroth . . ." Tifa began, unsure of how to say what all of them were thinking without bringing up painful memories for all of them.
"Yes, Tifa. I know that she is dead. I remember killing her, even though it was Jenova using me for her own sadistic whims. But she will still be there in spirit . . . or at least close enough that I should be able to contact her . . . if she will let me. She may be able to tell us where Jenova is." He ran a hand through his hair absently, debating on if he should tell them about finding the black materia. He decided against it . . . they already had enough to worry about. "Cid . . . I do not suppose you could get the Highwind here, could you?" Cid nodded, and grabbed his PHS. Sephiroth watched him for a moment before turning to the rest of the group.
"I know . . . I know that it will be painful to go there . . . considering what happened. I will go alone, if necessary . . . but I truly believe that this may be the only way to track her down. If we do not find her soon . . . who knows what she could be up to." It was Cloud that answered him, his voice soft, but steady.
"We're going with you. You are right . . . it will be painful to . . . go to that place. But . . . it won't be any worse for us then it was for you to come here. So, as soon as the Highwind gets here, we'll be off. I only hope . . . that she is there, as you seem to think she is." Sephiroth nodded, and led the way out of the reactor, lost in thought.
*----------*----------*----------*----------*
Sephiroth stood staring out at the mountains, a little ways away from the rest of the group. Tifa watched him silently, noting the determination on his face.
"Cloud," she said quietly, "I was thinking . . ."
"What about, Teef?"
"Him. Cloud . . . do you get the feeling he doesn't plan on living past killing Jenova?" Cloud nodded.
"Yeah . . . I've been wondering about it myself. But I can't come up with a reason. We're helping . . . so he's not going to be facing her alone. How would he die?"
"I don't know . . . but I think maybe he plans on making sure he doesn't. But why would he do that?" She jumped in shock as she got an unexpected answer.
"Because . . . as long as I am alive, she could come back," Sephiroth murmured, not turning from his view of the mountains. "All I want . . . is peace. I am hoping death will grant me that, at least."
"Sephiroth . . ." Tifa began, shocked.
"No, Tifa. While I am essentially following my own path this time . . . I still have a final destiny that is already set in stone. Once Jenova is dead . . . that destiny is complete. Nothing can change that . . . I was not meant for this world, or any other." He turned to look at her, his eyes serious. "I know . . . that you were hoping to show me the life I never had. Trust me . . . you have already shown me more than I ever expected. When I die . . . at least I will have some experiences to take with me that I never would have had otherwise." He walked away slowly, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trench coat, his hair blowing gently in the mountain breeze. Tifa could only stare after him, her face full of sorrow.
He sat down in the shadow of the reactor, his hands clenched into fists. Holding the black materia in his hand, he stared at it, his hatred plain on his face. It was finding the piece of materia . . . this cursed stone . . . that had made him see the truth. He COULD NOT survive Jenova's death . . . not if he wanted to be sure she would remain dead. Cloud was safe . . . he did not have enough cells from Jenova in his body for her to use him that way . . . Sephiroth had confirmed that. Sephiroth, on the other hand, was practically another part of her . . . which meant, as she lay dying, she would try to take him over, incorporating herself into his form. He could not allow that . . . which meant he had to die with her. If he did not, she would keep coming back . . . just like the piece of materia he held in his hand. That meant he needed to take care of Zack, as well. That thought left the taste of bitter ashes in his mouth . . . in order to secure the safety of his friends, he would be required to once again destroy the man who had been his only friend in his earlier life.
So . . . you really are willing to sacrifice yourself to see me dead. How utterly foolish of you. And now you hope that dead Cetra bitch will help you to find me? When will you learn, Sephiroth . . . I am eternal. As are you. Death will give you no peace . . . you will burn in a hell of the Planet's making for your crimes. Why not come to me? Come to me, join me at my side as my beloved son . . . and together we will create a paradise where you can have the peace you crave.
"At what cost, Jenova? How many innocent lives will have to die for that 'paradise' you speak of?" he murmured, his eyes locked on the black materia.
Humanity is a parasite . . . all of them must die. But, in the end, the Planet will heal the damage they have caused to it, and we will create a new race . . . a race that will guard the Planet, like the Cetra. They will worship us as Gods . . . and Gods we will be. All it will take is for you to join me . . . and bring the black materia back to me.
"Do you honestly think I would agree to that? More innocent blood shed for a chance at peace? That is not what I want, and you know it. There can be no peace for me with their blood on my hands . . . no matter what the cause. Death is the only peace I have left to me . . . death and the oblivion that awaits me."
Then come and die, flawed son of my body. Come to me and die . . . and know that you will fail. I await you.
"Then keep waiting, Jenova. I am coming for you," he murmured. He stared down silently at the black materia, pondering his conversation with the creature. She had sounded . . . desperate, when she mentioned the black materia . . . as if she would have it anywhere but in his hands. Was she afraid of it? Mentally, he reached out towards the stone, and jumped in shock when it suddenly went warm . . . as if accepting him. Puzzled, he brought it up to his line of sight, staring into the murky depths . . . and saw it swirl slightly. His eyes widened as he came to a realization . . . the black materia still saw him as it's master . . . which meant he could still use it!
Silently, he sat in the shadows of the reactor and began to explore the materia with his mind, trying to gauge what exactly it could do. A course of action began to take shape in his head . . . a sure way to kill Jenova and make sure she stayed dead. Smiling slightly, he determined to fully explore the materia, suspecting that it too had a part to play in Jenova's final downfall.
