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Micro-Chick: Story! Today class we are going to do a written flying lesson, remember to read the authors notes at the end

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A Written Flying Lesson (urgh) Or, how to kill someone in three easy steps

S - Sirius reporting for note-writing duty

J - Prongs present

R - Moony all here

P - Yes sir-I mean Peter ready

. . .

R - Where's Lily?

S - On one of her raging, psychopathic PMS rants (TM)

J - Groovy!

S - Groovy?

J - Yeah! That means we can moan and curse Mr. Look-at-me-I'm-so-pretty!-oh- so-pretty-and-I-should-be-voted-Hogwart's-most-gorgeous-student-alive-or- dead-past-present-or-future off

S - ROFL

R - I know! lets kill him!

J - Remus this is a totally different you!

R - Hell, he took Lily away from me!

S - I thought you didn't really like her?

R - . . . I don't?

S - Oh great, Moony, that's really convinced us. Anyway, she's mine.

J - Didn't we go through this b4?

P -Yeah, she's clearly Gilderoy Lockharts.

S - . . .

J - . . .

R - . . .

P - Somehow I think that was not the right thing to say.

::Sirius, Remus and James fall over in a dead faint::

P - So who wants to kill Mr. Look-at-me-I'm-so-pretty!-oh-so-pretty-and-I- should-be-voted-Hogwart's-most-gorgeous-student-alive-or-dead-past-present- or-future Gilderoy Lockhart.

S - You know I think we should just call him Dickhead

J - Lily snatcher

R - Dead

S - Sounds good to me!

::Sirius jumps up in the air, succeeding in being moved to the front of the class::

J - Freak.

R - I thought you'd made up.

J - We did

R - So why you calling him?

J - Duh, its obv.

R - Go on.

J - . . .

R - ^_^

J - Um . . .

::The Quidditch captain Rose [A/N: Remember her?] comes into class and takes James out::

R - Oh well . . .

P - Looks like it's just you and me!

R - Oh Joy . . .

P - So what you wanna do?

::Remus puts up his hand and asks to go to the loo, Peter copies him and runs out, as not to look like a "billy" [A/N: he don't even have to try] Remus runs back in, after apparently "losing" Peter::

R - Sooo.

. . .

R - Really?

. . .

R - He didn't

. . .

R - He did?

L - Remus why are you having a conversation with yourself?

::Remus jumps a foot into the air::

R - Why are you going out with Gilderoy Lockhart?

L - To annoy James-I m-mean because err. . L-Lockharts fit.

R - Lily you're stuttering, that means you're lying.

L - . . .

R - Why not just give this charade up? James is obviously missing you.

L - Well thank you Professor Know-it-all. I'll just go crawling back to James on my hands and knee's begging for forgiveness!

R - Touchy, so don't you want to go back out with James?

L - No, I mean yes, I m-mean oh, I don't know!"

J - Hey guys I'm back.

::James reads what he's missed.

J - . . . Remus, you were talking to yourself?

::Lily and Remus fall rather un-dignified to the floor::

:: Everything goes quiet for a bit while no-one notices Peter is gone, then Lily asks to use the bathroom the teacher asks what's got into them all today but lets her go::

J - Wonder what Lily's up to.

R - Oh the mysteries of girls and toilets.

S- Boo!

R - ???

S - I said boo.

R - Erm, hi James what were you saying?

S - Why didn't anyone tell me it was lets-pretend-sirius-isn't-here-day.

R - Well, technically you're not here.

S - Shut up.

:: Long pause::

S - Anyhows I've been thinking.

J - Gasp!!!

R - OMG are you ill?

S - FOAD! With friends like you who needs enemies.

R - Meaning you're going to go off and be friends with Snape?

S - Meaning nothing. Let me talk, I mean write.

J - Sigh.

S - You know Christmas.

J - No, explain.

S - Well, can you imagine all the things that could go wrong.

R - No, not really.

J - Werewolves don't have imaginations.

S - Their intellectual copat. . . brain, doesn't stretch that far.

R - Great, one minute it's lets-ignore-sirius-day, now it's lets-pick-on- the-werewolf-and-pretend-he-isn't-there-and-that-he-doesn't-have-feelings- and lets-forget-he's-the-smart-one day, why does James get off eh?

J - I'm still trying to figure out what you said.

R - Meaning, why does no-one pick on you?

J - Do I really need to answer that?

:: Peter returns and sits down. He whispers something to Remus and he leaves the room::

J - Where's he gone?

P - Herbology teacher wanted him.

J - Oh.

:: Lily arrives back again, and sits down silently nothing happens for a while until the teacher, ( who will remain nameless) sends Sirius out for passing notes::

P - How come he always get caught?

J - Hel-lo! This is S-I-R-U-S B-L-A-C-K we're talking about.

P - . . . right.

L - So, James how are you, still gagging to snog me?

:: James sniffs::

J - Keep dreaming I've moved on. Rose is my flower now.

L - Ha ha , a comedian.

:: Suddenly Remus and Sirius run in paler than usual::

R&S - GILDEROY LOCKHART IS DEAD!!!



Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

Micro-Chick: And so ends the first part of our whodunnit.

Lottie.com : Everyone has left the room at some point, does everyone have a motive?

Micro-Chick: Yes, so now you can start guessing but you won't find out for TWO chapters, ok now about our cool new competition.

Lottie.com: We're sick of writing this now so we're giving you a turn, readers.

Micro-Chick: I'M not sick of it, so anyway you write the beginning of the next chapter, not too long though, and the winner will have their beginning used next chapter. All entries in by, er. . .

Lottie.Com: 7th Jan?

Micro-Chick: Ok, so get writing! E-mail us at SimpsonFreakJ@aol.com or Micro_Chick_uk@Hotmail.com