Disclaimer - I don't own any of the characters from FFVII. Don't that just bite.
Author's Note - I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. Our computer has been on the fritz for the last two weeks and I was unable to do anything with it. I hope you can all forgive me.
Chapter 9 - Speaking with the Dead
The journey to the City of the Ancients went quickly thanks to the Highwind. No one saw Sephiroth the entire time . . . he remained in his room, away from their eyes, away from their pity and fear for him. He couldn't deal with it . . . couldn't deal with facing them, developing friendships with all of them, knowing that he was not going to live much longer. He had isolated himself from them . . . whether to spare himself pain or them he could not say. He had even cut himself off from his new found father . . . the man had carried enough guilt with the death of Lucrecia . . . Sephiroth would not allow him to carry guilt for his son's death as well. His death was his own . . . his own choice, his own destiny.
He lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, the black materia resting in his bare hand on his chest, feeling the hum of the Highwind's motors around him. His mind was blank, empty . . . deliberately kept that way as he tried not to dwell on all he would leave behind in his death. So much had changed since he had been awakened by Jenova . . . he had changed. He had become . . . human, in a way that he could never have foreseen. All due to a simple choice of walking into Seventh Heaven the night he'd arrived in Midgar.
He wondered if the Fate's really did hate him . . . allowing him to finally experience the life he'd been denied . . . only to take it away by refusing him any other course but death in order to accomplish his mission. He had come so close . . . so close to everything he had ever wished he could have - a normal life, friends, a father . . . all of it. It was all just so ironic. He sighed, feeling the cold weight of the black materia against his chest . . . near to where his heart was. Once, his heart had been as cold as the materia he held. His childhood had taught him that no one cared about him . . . his time in SOLDIER had taught him he was only worth what skills he had . . . his time under Jenova had all been a lie. He had hidden himself away, sealing himself off from the world behind a cold mask of indifference, unable to bear the terrible weight of his existence any other way. Now . . . his heart had warmed . . . but his life was forfeit.
He had slowly discovered the true power of the black materia . . . and he also knew what price that power came by. It would be the instrument of Jenova's destruction . . . and his own. His fingers tightened around it unconsciously at that thought. He was no where near a master of it's new power . . . but he couldn't really practice with it either. Not if he wanted to survive to fight. The power of the black materia came from it's wielder's life force . . . the more of yourself you poured into it, the more it gave you. But it would also feed off you, if you let it. One had to be strong willed in order to master it . . . and in order to summon it's ultimate power, one had to be willing to give up one's life. That, Sephiroth had found, would not be a problem . . . it actually solved all of them quite nicely. He would destroy Jenova and himself . . . by feeding the black materia his life to end hers.
There was a knock at the door. Quickly he shoved the materia under the pillow before calling out to whoever it was to come in. Surprisingly enough, it was Cloud.
"You've been kinda scarce, Sephiroth. We were worried about you."
"There is no need. I just . . . needed to be alone."
"Well . . . at any rate, we're almost there. We should be landing in a few minutes." Cloud regarded him silently for a few minutes before speaking again. "I know what you are doing. It's not going to make this any easier, Sephiroth."
"What else should I do, Strife? I already know what has to happen . . . it can not be avoided. Besides . . . I want this. I want to be free . . . of everything."
"Even life? Sephiroth . . . for Planet's sake, you've come so far . . . why are you so willing to give it up now?"
"Because I do not deserve it. I was never meant to live, Cloud. I should never have been born." He stood slowly, retrieving his jacket from the chair. He turned to stare at Cloud, his platinum hair forming a curtain around him. "Were it not for my birth, none of this would have come about. I am guilty of crimes too horrible to mention . . . and none of them would have happened if life had followed it's proper course." He shrugged into his jacket before turning to face Cloud again. "What would you have me do, Cloud? Forego the absolute annihilation of Jenova so I can have a chance at a life I was never supposed to have? I can not and will not do that. If I were to do so . . . the death's of Zack, Aeris . . . and all those other innocent people . . . would have been for nothing. At least this way, their deaths have some meaning . . ." He retrieved the black materia from it's spot under his pillow, shoving it in a pocket so Cloud would not see. He brushed past the spike haired warrior, stopping just in the hall way, his back to the young man as he spoke. "My life . . . is mine to sacrifice this time, Cloud. So help me make the most of it . . . and stop feeling sorry for me." With that last comment said, he walked away, leaving Cloud to stare at his back.
Vincent came up beside Cloud silently, watching his son ascend the stairs at the end of the hall before speaking to the man beside him.
"He is so much like me . . . he carries so much guilt, it weighs him down." Cloud turned to look at him.
"You know that he intends to die with Jenova then?" he asked quietly.
"I don't think he 'intends' to do anything more then see this quest through to it's completion," Vincent murmured in reply. "However, he is convinced that in order to fully succeed in wiping her from the planet, he must die as well. To be honest . . . I believe he may be right." Cloud stared at him in shock.
"Vincent! But . . . but he's your son! Shouldn't you be trying to stop him?"
"He can't be stopped, Cloud. Not in this. He is determined to see this through . . . even though he knows he races head long to his own death. We have only just discovered our own ties . . . and my blood tie to him is not very deep considering the genetic tampering Hojo did. He truly is more Jenova's son in that respect. And how else does a parent live on after their death . . . then by their children?" Vincent sighed, and turned to face Cloud. "Jenova may very well manage to take him over as she dies . . . and then we will have to kill him. It is better this way . . . although I wish we had more time."
"I can see your point Vincent . . . although I wish I couldn't. It seems so tragic though . . . just as he's learning to live, he has to die." Vincent only nodded, and approached the stairs himself, disappearing from view quickly. Cloud sighed, and followed . . . his mind working on some way of diverting the flow of destiny for a second time.
*----------*----------*----------*----------*
They reached the outskirts of the Sleeping Forest not long afterwards. Sephiroth, in a raw display of power, simply dropped over the side of the Highwind to land gracefully on the ground below. The rest decided to stick to the ladder . . . although Tifa did not hesitate to stick her tongue out at the swordsman when she finally touched ground.
"Showoff!" she called out, grinning. Sephiroth merely smiled slightly in reply and nodded before walking to the forest's edge.
"How the fuck are we supposed to get through here! Only a fucking ancient can get through this damn forest from hell . . . and there ain't no fucking ancients left alive!" Cid asked, staring into the forest in annoyance. Sephiroth merely shrugged and stepped forward, holding his hand out towards the forest. Several jaws hit the ground when the trees merely parted before him.
"I was here before, remember?" Sephiroth called over his shoulder. "They let me through that time . . . I assumed they would do so again. I only wish I understood why." The others followed him into the forest, glancing around cautiously as they followed the path through the dark wood. The silence was eery, like the forest lay in wait for them to make one wrong move. Sephiroth strode forward silently, looking neither left nor right. To Tifa, it looked like he was in deep concentration . . . as if he was casting some sort of magic from inside himself.
'Maybe the rumor was true after all . . . perhaps there is some Cetra in him,' she thought, watching him absently. They had all discussed it once before . . . long ago, when Sephiroth's inherent magical abilities had come to light. It was Aeris who had first speculated that he might have some ties to the Cetra. The young flower girl had tried to get answers out of her beloved Planet . . . but all she had gotten had been confusion. Tifa still couldn't believe he could be so calm, knowing that these were the last days of his life. She would have been frantic.
They reached the city in record time, descending the hidden staircase to the pool below hesitantly. Sephiroth seemed to tense more as they descended, his muscles tightening as they neared the place where he had killed Aeris. Finally, they all stood on the alter itself, Sephiroth's face a mask of cold marble. The rest shifted restlessly around him, unsure of what would happen next. They were startled when Sephiroth called out softly.
"Aeris . . . if you are here, the Planet is in peril from Jenova once again. I ask that you help us . . . myself and your friends . . . to find Jenova so that we may destroy her." At his words, a faint glow began to form above the water . . . right above the place where Cloud had released Aeris' body to it's final rest. It coalesced into the form of the young Cetra flower girl, gliding lightly over the water to stand before them on the alter.
"Welcome home . . . brother," she whispered to Sephiroth, who had fallen to his knees before her, his head bowed in a shame that had engulfed him the moment she appeared. His head lifted at the greeting, his eyes widening in question at her words. The ghost knelt before him, reaching out to touch him with ethereal hands. He stiffened, freezing completely as he felt her hands on his face, forcing him to look into her eyes.
"Brother?" he whispered, unsure of what she could possibly mean. The ghostly Aeris nodded, a slight smile on her face at the unsteadiness in his voice.
"Yes . . . brother. There is Cetra in you, Sephiroth . . . something Hojo had not planned. Your mother, Lucrecia, had Cetran blood. Unrealized, unfocused, diluted . . . but the Jenova in you brought it out in full force. You are the last Cetra . . . not me." Sephiroth stared at her in disbelief, his eyes wide in shock. Him . . . a Cetra? Aeris nodded as if hearing his thoughts. "That is why you could pass through the forest . . . that is how you can summon magic from inside yourself. It is untrained . . . with training you could hear the Planet speaking to you, if you listened well . . . but it is there." Sephiroth could only stare at her in silence. It explained so much . . .
"Aeris . . ." Cloud whispered. She rose to her feet to glide over to him.
"Hello Cloud. It is good to see you again. I am so glad you and Tifa finally got around to telling each other about your feelings. I actually wanted to get violent with you a couple of times . . . you were being so dense!" The specter giggled suddenly. "But enough of that. You all wanted to know where Jenova is, yes?" Cloud nodded, still stunned at the appearance of the girl he had protected for a short time.
"She is heading for the Northern Crater. The mako energy there is strong . . . as is the Lifestream. Be careful though . . . she has a new body, and a creation of Hojo's at her disposal. She will not be an easy foe. And she still desires Sephiroth." She turned back to the platinum haired warrior, who was still on his knees, stunned by the revelation that he had Cetra blood. She went back to him, standing before him silently until he looked up at her.
"Sephiroth . . ." she whispered, drawing his attention back to her. There were tears in his eyes . . . tears of anger, of sorrow and pain.
"Aeris . . . forgive me . . . please . . . what happened to you . . ."
"Was not your fault," she whispered, kneeling in front of him again. "I know that it was Jenova using you . . . everything was made clear to me when I rejoined my ancestors in the Promised Land. You bear a great weight on your soul . . . and it is not a burden that you should have." The spectral hand moved to brush his hair from his face. "Your path is so clouded . . . everything before you lies in darkness. But I promise you . . . there will be light again. Your destiny is more than you know . . . more than you could imagine. I will be waiting for you . . . in the end. You will not face it alone . . . I promise." She stood slowly, glancing at them all one last time. "My time is done here . . . I must go before I use up more energy than I should. Be careful, all of you. The darkness ahead is all consuming . . . Jenova will throw everything at you that she can to try to ensure a victory for herself. Do not let it turn you from your path . . . Jenova must be destroyed. I love you all . . . my friends." She slowly faded from sight, a happy smile on her face. The group awoke as if from a trance, staring at the place where she had stood.
"Was that real?" Tifa asked quietly, breaking the stunned silence.
"Yes," Sephiroth whispered. "I can feel it . . . I do not know how, but I can feel that it was her. She has been waiting for us . . ." He sighed, standing slowly to face the pool. "Thank you Aeris . . . for everything." Silently he turned from the water, making his way up the stairs in a daze. He . . . a Cetra? The thought was impossible, improbable . . . true. It explained so much to him . . . but it left so many more wounds in it's wake. He was the last protector of the Planet . . . and he had tried to destroy it. His knees gave out on him suddenly, and he sank to the stone steps.
"This . . . is not . . . going to help things . . ."
Oh, but it makes such a wonderful twist of fate, does it not, my arrogant son . . . You, the last protector of the Planet, trying to destroy it instead. I found it wonderfully ironic . . . my last revenge on those pathetic Cetra . . .
"You knew . . ." he hissed, his eyes narrowing in anger.
Of course I knew . . . I know everything about you. You are the last remaining Cetra . . . you are the son of my blood . . . you are the monster created from science . . . you are mine.
Rage engulfed him suddenly, his eyes blazing into green as he rose to his feet. He knew his rage was dangerous, knew that he was slipping closer into the demon he had been, but he could not bring himself to be concerned in this moment. The magic flickered through him, his thoughts centered on the creature that had lied to him . . . used him . . . had KNOWN what he was and kept it from him . . .
He pushed suddenly, forcing magic through his link with Jenova, his fury giving his thought form and focus. He heard her scream in pain and surprise as it burst upon her.
"You . . . will . . . die!" he snarled. "No more lies, no more betrayal . . . no more!" He spun as footsteps approached, facing the group that had come up behind him. Tifa reached out, and he backed away suddenly.
"Stay away from me . . ." he hissed, his voice once again that of the cold warrior and monster he had been. Turning, he flew up the steps, his rage giving him speed he had never tapped into before. Behind him, he could hear the others following as best they could, Cloud calling out to him, but he ignored them. He needed to be away . . . away from them, away from Jenova . . . away from this cursed existence that would not leave him be. Drawing his magic around him, he faded into the shadows, emerald eyes closing as he hid from them . . . hid from the world that still sought to bring him to his knees. They ran by, assuming he was heading back to the Highwind. He watched them, part of him wanting to call out, to call back the friends he had gained, but he squelched it ruthlessly. It was time to be done with all of this . . . and his longing for a life he was not destined to have had been getting in the way. He knew that now, knew it with the stunning clarity his anger gave his mind. He'd been holding on to a lie, holding on to the belief that if he truly repented, somehow his soul could be salvaged.
"Fool," he hissed to himself, as he brought the black materia out, staring at it coldly. "I have been living in a dream . . . a dream that can never come to pass. I am damned . . . I know that now . . . I see it more clearly with each passing second. It is time to finish this." He summoned his power absently, willing it to take him to the Northern Crater . . . the place where it would all end. The lies, the truths . . . life and death lay in that crater for him . . . and he went to it freely, his heart once again trapped within it's cage, his mind cleared of the hopes and dreams he had tried to hold on to. They would never come to pass . . . he was not destined for life.
