Hi there. You may have heard a bit about a certain elf lately? He goes by
the name of Meorof. Pronounced ME-OROF thank you. Well I am one of the co-
creators. Please to refer to this site for the full story of who Meorof is
and his connection to lord of the rings. The site is
. Please go here first or this
story will be nul and void.
Well I thought that maybe you'd like some history on this little elf and his rise to almost stardom. His admiration of the big movie star elves and his usurpation by that little miscreant, Figwit. And after everything that happened to him how he still managed to get a place in the council of Elrond.
It all started when Meorof was bit a mere sprig of an elf. Not at all an attractive sprig but a sprig none the less. He was always a very polite elfling but you know the saying: Pleases and Thankyous are all well and good but they don't count for nothing if you're just damn ugly. Meorof new this saying very well as his Grandmother had told him this every night before he went to sleep.
Now Meorof was an elf with great ideas. He had dreams and hopes that aimed high. Movies were where he was headed. His father always encouraged him by saying things like "Well, son. I know I can see you aspiring to work such as this" pointing to the elf porn channel. Meorof knew that he would make it someday big.
But fate is fickle and the future is never certain despite the determination of a plucky, yet unsightly little elf.
Now our Meorof was a very sensitive little elf and because of this he found it very hard to make friends. The only other elf that would talk to Meorof was a little girl elf called Nyesa. Now Nyesa was the only one who understood Meorof (this meant she was the cheapest of all the little elflings that he had to pay to talk to him) and they were fast friends (this meant he gave her all his lunch at elfy school). She always encouraged our elf by saying "You can go as far as you want to. As long as you can afford me as your assassin there will be nobody to stand in your way."
So it was that our little Meorof lived his life until he found just exactly where his talent lay. It was when he was in fifth grade and the first grades were stealing his possessions again that he learned his one special talent. Usually he was just to slow to catch these little mischief-makers but on that day he was lucky. He caught one by the arm and bitchslapped it across the face. Though this caused him many violent beatings a spark of something had been ignited in Meorof that had never been there before. Self-confidence. He could do this to one person half his size why couldn't he do it to another. Thus started a round of bitchslappings that caused what he would refer to as the bravest part of his child hood where anybody much smaller than him would run in fear.
Unfortunately he and Nyesa spent the next year in juvenal detention. Meorof was wrongly imprisoned while Nyesa's previous bomb threats had merely caught up with her. Though life was hard on Meorof in what he referred to as "The Slammer" not once did he doubt himself or his ability and soon he had many "Prison Bitches" that were half his size. And because of this he lived peacefully for a time.
When he and Nyesa were finally left free he went home. His mother was so angry with him that she wouldn't talk to him for a week. His father didn't notice that he had come home. And when his mother finally would look at him again and forgave him, she did not hug him but merely she did what she usually did to him, which made him feel more comfortable then he had in a long time. She bitchslapped him upside the head. And it was good, for a time.
Next: The teenage years.
Well I thought that maybe you'd like some history on this little elf and his rise to almost stardom. His admiration of the big movie star elves and his usurpation by that little miscreant, Figwit. And after everything that happened to him how he still managed to get a place in the council of Elrond.
It all started when Meorof was bit a mere sprig of an elf. Not at all an attractive sprig but a sprig none the less. He was always a very polite elfling but you know the saying: Pleases and Thankyous are all well and good but they don't count for nothing if you're just damn ugly. Meorof new this saying very well as his Grandmother had told him this every night before he went to sleep.
Now Meorof was an elf with great ideas. He had dreams and hopes that aimed high. Movies were where he was headed. His father always encouraged him by saying things like "Well, son. I know I can see you aspiring to work such as this" pointing to the elf porn channel. Meorof knew that he would make it someday big.
But fate is fickle and the future is never certain despite the determination of a plucky, yet unsightly little elf.
Now our Meorof was a very sensitive little elf and because of this he found it very hard to make friends. The only other elf that would talk to Meorof was a little girl elf called Nyesa. Now Nyesa was the only one who understood Meorof (this meant she was the cheapest of all the little elflings that he had to pay to talk to him) and they were fast friends (this meant he gave her all his lunch at elfy school). She always encouraged our elf by saying "You can go as far as you want to. As long as you can afford me as your assassin there will be nobody to stand in your way."
So it was that our little Meorof lived his life until he found just exactly where his talent lay. It was when he was in fifth grade and the first grades were stealing his possessions again that he learned his one special talent. Usually he was just to slow to catch these little mischief-makers but on that day he was lucky. He caught one by the arm and bitchslapped it across the face. Though this caused him many violent beatings a spark of something had been ignited in Meorof that had never been there before. Self-confidence. He could do this to one person half his size why couldn't he do it to another. Thus started a round of bitchslappings that caused what he would refer to as the bravest part of his child hood where anybody much smaller than him would run in fear.
Unfortunately he and Nyesa spent the next year in juvenal detention. Meorof was wrongly imprisoned while Nyesa's previous bomb threats had merely caught up with her. Though life was hard on Meorof in what he referred to as "The Slammer" not once did he doubt himself or his ability and soon he had many "Prison Bitches" that were half his size. And because of this he lived peacefully for a time.
When he and Nyesa were finally left free he went home. His mother was so angry with him that she wouldn't talk to him for a week. His father didn't notice that he had come home. And when his mother finally would look at him again and forgave him, she did not hug him but merely she did what she usually did to him, which made him feel more comfortable then he had in a long time. She bitchslapped him upside the head. And it was good, for a time.
Next: The teenage years.
