Yo~!! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the official characters that will grace this story; the wonderful creator of Fruits Basket, how I love thee! How can I show my appreciation? By borrowing your characters and putting them in weird situations, of course!! Oh, oh!! I do own the small poem that is in this though . . . it's dedicated to a close friend. [Laughs] Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! And I don't pretend to be able to write any sort of accents so please don't hate me!!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
++Titles – timewise ++
Poem
~ Just a Little Something ~
By Doctor Megalomania
Part Five: Revealed
My china doll was awake before I was.
She remained completely still as I came to consciousness. I had been lying on her back, to keep her here, to listen to her exist here. She shuddered slightly as I lifted myself up, and curled back onto the cold bed. I closed my eyes and breathe. I felt the bed shift as she sat up, and waited for me to open my eyes.
Would I really react so badly? I wondered, if I found out she was really not who I thought she was . . .?
I heard her catch her breath. She was beginning to cry already. She'd cried last night as well . . . her suppressed shuddering had awoken me. No doubt her make up was ruined, her hair was slightly matted, but that wouldn't detract from her beauty. I knew she was wonderful.
I frowned to myself, as she got up, and moved away from me.
"Where are you going?"
"Just . . ." her voice was a little deeper, raspier from her crying, "Just to wash my face, Akito-sama."
Water ran in the small sink, she splashed water against her face, and pulled a towel from the rack. I opened my eyes to see her back toward me. Her kimono had fallen loose during the night and hung off one milky white shoulder. I could see the real colour of her hair now.
"You . . ."
The towel lowered from 'her' face, and 'she' sighed. Still not looking at me, Ritsu . . . that useless, damned monkey sighed.
"Well . . ." he whispered more to himself than me, "It was nice . . ." he turned and stared at me. He was a mess, a disgusting mess, hair was matted and unkempt, I glared at him. "Why are you here?!"
Ritsu smiled at me.
He actually smiled.
"I came because Shigure said you missed me. I came because I did not want you to die. You've been refusing to eat since I left."
"You . . . can't be my china doll." I'm dumbfounded. Can you blame me? My china doll, my graceful, beautiful china doll is this hideous creature . . . this hideous clumsy monkey . . . I love my china doll, tears prickle at my eyes as I realise how much make believe, and emotion I had tied to her. My beautiful doll was the worthless monkey.
He'd always been here.
"Why . . .?"
Ritsu blinked, the smile on his face fading. I tried again.
"Why did you. . .?"
"I thought you recognised me that first time . . . so when I came back, during the day, I thought you knew it was me all along . . ."
He barely makes sense, he's a cross dressing disgusting creature . . . and he loves me?!
"Yes, I do . . ." the sad acceptance on Ritsu's face tells me I've spoken aloud. Not that I care that he knows what I think of him. He comes closer, and I want to recoil. He kneels by the bed, in striking range of my hand. He rests his cheek on my blanket, and closes his eyes. "Akito . . . I thought you recognised me . . ."
"Well, I didn't . . . this man you love . . ." I snarl, my hands flex. I want to dig my fingernails into his damned hair and drag it out. "This man you love . . . is me?!"
"Hai."
The answer comes without shame. Without shame! This creature desires me, this thing wants my heart . . . I bring my hand up, ripping the drips out and slamming it on his vulnerable head. He winces, but doesn't cry out. I want him to sob, beg for my forgiveness, how dare he even think of soiling me with his lust!
"Disgusting!" I cry out, "I hate you!" I pull as hard as I can at his hair, mindless of the blood seeping from my hand. "I'd never desire you! You disgust me!"
Why isn't he crying?!
His dainty eyelids remain closed, wincing occasionally when I pull at his hair. I pull and yank harder, feeling some of his hair give way. I can see his shoulders trembling, at least he's afraid. I smile wickedly, "Shall I pull out all your lovely hair?! I'll pull, shall I?"
He sniffs, his eyes start to leak with tears, "Hai."
This catches me by surprise.
He opens his eyes and stares at me. "Akito . . . make me . . ."
Such pain in his eyes, my hand stills.
"Akito, make me . . . not love you . . ."
"How can you love me?!" I scream at him, my lungs already protesting at the vigorous movements I make, "We are not even matched to each other!! I am the Clan head, you are some worthless monkey!"
"Hai . . . I know . . ." Ritsu smiles at me again, he shakes his head, and buries his face into the blanket covering the side of my upper thigh, his voice is muffled as he calls out, "Please, do what you must to punish me!"
I pull at his hair again, this time ripping out strands in clumps. "I'll kill you!" I spit at him, "I will!! I'll kill you, make you hate me forever!!"
"Hai . . ." Ritsu begins, satisfyingly, to cry. I see his shoulders shudder with his sobs, and I . . . I think I should feel happy. . . but. . . I pull weakly at his hair; the blood from my hand taints the golden brown strands, and my fingers. I feel the warm wetness of his tears on my leg, seeping through the thin material. My china doll continues to sob as I untangle my hands, and lean over until my cheek is pressed against his head. My vision begins to blur . . . and then . . .
I came around a few hours later. The afternoon sun poured in through my window, warming my face.
Breathing in, I could still smell Ritsu's perfume. I blinked and looked around. Ritsu was knelt by my bedside, this time clean and tidy. He was dressed as a man again. His head was bowed, and I could see bandages that were bloodstained. Hatori had been. Repaired the drips on my hand, and to my irritation I found I'd been strapped down. I couldn't move my hands.
"Ha-san says that you mustn't exert yourself."
Ritsu looks up, and tilts his head. "He says when you are well enough; you may do as you please." He gets up, and walks away, absently tucking a lock of his loathsome hair behind his ear. I hate him. I hate him with every breath in my body, when I get out of this bed I'll shave his head, and castrate him.
"Disgusting."
He turns his head slightly as I hiss at him, "I know. . ."
"What made you think I could ever love you?!" I ask, not really wanting to talk to this thing, but unable to stop the words tumbling from my lips, "You disgust me! You're worthless, pathetic! I hate you!"
"I know . . ."
Argh! I want to tear out his hair, every time he replied with that sad, soft sigh. Didn't he care I wanted him dead?! How dare he try to claim this disgusting wanton desire he claimed to have for me was love! Disgusting, hideous monkey! I want him dead; I don't want him anywhere near me!
However with my attack, came some horrible consequences.
Hatori doubted my ability to control myself, to take care of myself. He came to me one day and told me, he told me that I would either have to put up with Ritsu as my nurse for the next few months as the damage repaired or some idiot outsider come in and help me. He couldn't do that because of his duties as a doctor.
I was his duty! I didn't want either, but Hatori claimed it wouldn't be good for me to have him as his nurse. I needed someone else so I wouldn't go crazy. My other visitors disappeared, news of my attack against that disgusting monkey evidently filtering around the family. Even Tooru was forbidden to come and visit me.
So . . .
. . . I chose the disgusting monkey.
I will not have an idiot outsider attend me.
No.
I will never have an idiot outsider attend me.
Ritsu will just have to put his . . . feelings aside and deal with me like a proper servant.
The months passed, and soon, the drips holding me back were slowly removed.
The casts came off finally, and were replaced with a few bandages. Ritsu celebrated this with me; we ate a full meal cooked by him, rather than that slop that the hospital provided. We ate at dusk, not quite nighttime, not quite the day. Ritsu, in the whole time he served me, never once looked into my eyes.
His wounds faded, leaving only scars from where I'd scratched him, where I'd pulled out chunks of his hair and scalp. I still hated him, but . . .
I stare out the window, thinking deeply.
I miss my China Doll. I want her so much, I miss the way she'd hum so softly, the way she'd touch my hands, my face. It was so gentle . . . how could it be that this creature, this useless monkey could ever be . . . *her* . . .
Ritsu returns, carrying a large bowl of water carefully balanced between hip and his right arm, on the other he carries a towel, a sponge and a wash cloth. In his hand he clasps the bag containing some shampoo, conditioner and soap. I hate this time of the day, when he has to touch me, wash me, bathe me . . . when I must feel his hands running over my skin, his eyes carefully remaining blank, and unseeing as he washes my most intimate of areas.
I have to admit.
I've started to wonder what he thinks about this.
He blinks, almost dropping the bowl. Clumsy idiot. Both him and me. I must curb this horrible habit of mine of speaking aloud.
"Ano . . ." Ritsu begins to answer, "I don't think much . . ." he answers truthfully, "I try not to, Akito-sama . . ."
I roll my eyes. Did I tell you? The bandage on my other eye came off. True, I now need a pair of spectacles, but they are handsome, half moon shaped. I only need them to read, and I can glare quite effectively over them. The ability to walk will have to be re-learnt though, and I am slowly beginning to be able to feed myself. He begins with my feet, his long, high ponytail falling over his shoulder and obscures the eye contact between us.
I take the time to stare at him.
He's thin, has been getting thinner since he started to serve me. As far as I am aware, he eats his meals with me, he sleeps in a room just down the hall. His whole life is now dedicated to serving me like a pathetic little maid. I stare at the curve of his back, it's slimmer than mine, he still holds himself very much like a woman would. He's so repulsive. How could anyone desire him?!
I glance at his face as he moves up my leg, washing my lower legs and knees with careful and gentle swipes of the washcloth. I loathe him. His hair is clean, neatly kept. I don't know why he bothers, as if anyone would be interested in his bland auburn locks. He pauses mid-thigh, and moves up, unwrapping the bandages around my chest gently. I stare at him, allowing him to pull my book away and set it on the table beside me. He washes my chest gingerly, afraid to put too much pressure on my still bruised and fractured ribs. The years of neglecting my body return to haunt me. The frailness of my body didn't help when that car careened into me.
After he gets another bowl of warm water, he helps me to sit up, as he gets onto my bed. My hair irritates me, so I insist he washes it every day. I have to lay my head in his lap and stare up at him as he gently works the shampoo into my hair and wipes it away with a wet sponge. It takes a long time, but my hair stays clean. I can't stand dirty hair, it's disgusting.
Ritsu stares at me with a carefully blank expression. I hate it. I don't want to stare up at his gloomy face as I wait for him to finish.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"No, Akito-sama."
"I mean without your disguise?"
"Yes, Akito-sama."
"Well?"
He tilts his head, "Akito-sama?"
"Well, which is it, are you uncomfortable without your kimono or not?!"
He blinks, and nods, "I am, Akito-sama."
I move my eyes to the side, and think for a moment. I watch as his pale hand dips into the bowl perched on the side. "Wear it. Tomorrow."
His hand hovers over the bowl for a moment, before he speaks. "Of course, Akito-sama."
Water drips warmly down from my hair, into the towel between my head and his lap. I can't tell anymore . . . I can't tell if he's scared of me or not . . . I glare at him, a wicked plan forming in my mind. It's a perfect idea, wonderful. It will cure both him and me of his 'desire' for me. I shall play with him as I would Yuki, I think it's about time Ritsu got some of my . . . more special attention.
He begins to work the conditioner into my scalp, and I close my eyes, "I want you to cut my hair tomorrow."
"Yes, Akito-sama."
"You will wear your best kimono."
"Yes, Akito-sama."
I smile slightly, warmly, "And you will wear that perfume you wore while you visited me."
The hands in my hair slow to a stop, and he mumbles something. I frown with irritation, I can't stand it when he mumbles. My eyes snap open, his features are slightly fuzzy because I'm not wearing my new glasses, but I can see him looking a little sorrowful, "What is it?"
"I said . . ." he swallowed, and continues in a quiet voice, "I can't, Akito-sama, I can't wear the perfume."
I feel my anger coil up in me, I want to strike him, "Why not?" I ground out tersely. How dare he try and disobey me?
"Be-because. . ." he stutters, "I . . . I . . ."
My left hand twitches, just begging to be allowed to rip the loose lock of hair that barely tickles my nose. I paste a weak smile on my lips, "Why . . . not. . .?" I ask slowly, as if I'm talking to a child . . . then again, I am talking to the most retarded member of my cursed inner family. Ritsu blinks and finally begins to talk properly.
"Because I bought it to wear for you . . ." he swallows, "After you rejected me . . ." his eyes close slightly, remembering a painful memory, "I threw it out . . ."
"So?" I ask, was that it? Was that the great revelation? I roll my eyes, "So buy another bottle."
"Akito-sama. . ."
"I said buy some more. You *will* wear it tomorrow."
His eyes widened, and I can see in his eyes already that spark of panic, "I . . . I can't, not if I don't have time, I'd have to leave you now to get to the shop before it closes!"
I close my eyes, I can't have that. Not before I put the motions of my plan into actions. I sigh, and turn my head slightly to the side, another idea springs up. I can use this to my benefit, I sigh louder again this time, and murmur quietly, "Then you will arrange to have it delivered to you . . . You will have it before the end of the week. You will wear it every day, with your best kimono, and your hair will be in a tidy, traditional style."
Ritsu pauses, maybe trying to figure out why I say it. I keep my eyes closed, smiling to myself.
Oh yes, this ugly, disgusting monkey would get what he incited from me. He's never known me . . . he's never even tried to know me . . . and soon, he's going to wish he'd never even met me . . .
His voice is quietly amazed, as he whispers.
"Yes, Akito-sama."
~My heart's breaking,
I'll keep on smiling,
Just for you, just for you,
Just a little something more~
-----------------
And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
Akito: RITSU?!
Ritsu: ME?!
DrM: YOU?!
Akito: you know you're the author, you knew it was him all along. . .
DrM: I just got sucked into all the craziness of the moment . . . anyway, I hope you enjoy this piece, and look forward to me update next week, because I'm officially on holiday, and now have 24 hour internet access . . . yay me!
Ritsu: PLEASE R&R!!
