Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan.
A Not so Simple Wish
by Ebiris

Chapter 6

"Give me back my ribbon you little harridan!"

Azusa turned to face her pursuer while still speeding away on her rollerblades "It's my
Martinique, I won't let you have it!" She retorted, sticking her tongue out for effect.

Ranko was just returning home from her dinner with Nodoka when she spotted the pair
heading in her direction. Deciding to help mete out a little justice towards the klepto figure
skater, she innocently stuck her foot out as Azusa passed, causing her to fall sprawling on
her ass.

"Aha! I have you now you little thief!" Kodachi exclaimed jubilantly as she retrieved her
ribbon before turning an appreciative gaze towards the redhead "Thankyou for your
assistance... er... I believe we met the other day but you didn't give me your name..." She
trailed off expectantly.

Ranko blinked. It felt weird having to introduce herself to a girl she still thought of as one of
her admirers. "I'm Ranko Xiawang." She gave a brief bow "Besides, it's a martial artist's
duty to stop thieves." Unless you happen to be the thief yourself, she added silently, thinking
of Genma.

Azusa had recovered by this point and was trying to steal Kodachi's ribbon again, but the
taller girl was able to keep it out of her reach easily. "Give me my Martinique back!" She
yelled shrilly.

"I think not." Kodachi responded drolly "Why don't you buy your own? They aren't exactly
expensive."

"No!!" Azusa was right in Kodachi's face as she yelled "That's my little Martinique! Azusa-
chan challenges you for it!"

Ranko winced. This was not going to be pretty.

"A challenge, you say?" Kodachi looked down haughtily at the figure skater, an expression
of ill concealed mirth on her aristocratic features.

Azusa stomped her foot at not being taken seriously. That she was able to stomp sucessfully
while wearing rollerblades was testament to her skill in her chosen field of weird martial arts
"I challenge you to a martial arts figure skating match, tomorrow after school!"

Kodachi nodded slowly, a sly grin on her face. "Yes, let us fight in all fairness... Before the
match!" Suddenly her ribbon lashed out to wrap around Azusa, before a flick of Kodachi's
wrist sent the smaller girl flying into a wall.

"Oooh, Martinique... why did you hurt little Azusa, why?" Azusa moaned groggily as she
picked herself up and caressed part of the ribbon which was still wrapped around her.
Seeming to collect herself, she returned her attention to her opponent who was smirking at
her "Hey! I said tomor-augh!" She never finished as a deft tug of the ribbon from Kodachi
sent her spinning as it unraveled.

Ranko had by now taken a seat on a nearby fence and was greatly enjoying watching a crazy
martial arts battle that for once did not involve her. She was certainly wishing Kodachi had
been around during her own encounter with the Golden Pair, since the gymnast seemed to
have things well in hand.

Before long, Kodachi had Azusa trussed up once more and left her dangling from a
streetlight. "I think I'll let you keep the ribbon after all. Give my regards to the Kolkhoz
High rhythmic gymnastics team." She let loose a burst of her bone chilling laughter and was
surprised to hear clapping. Turning to the noise, she was mildly surprised that the redhead
was still there, since most people would have vacated the area during the fight.

"Nicely done." Ranko congratulated Kodachi as she hopped down from her perch.

"Er.. thankyou." Kodachi demurred, again surprised that this girl wasn't yelling and
screaming about her being an overaggressive psycho, which is what most people did. Of
course, the opinions of such peasants were beneath one of her station, so she tried not to let it
get to her.

"Yeah, her and that creep Mikado are both jerks. I'm glad you put her in her place." Ranko
said while hooking a thumb in Azusa's direction. During the short fight, Ranko had done
some thinking. She didn't have any friends in this new timeline, and from the way Kodachi
had latched onto 'Ranma-sama' she knew that the gymnast was terribly lonely, despite the
front she put up. Maybe this time they could actually be proper friends instead of Kodachi
alternating between loving or hating her depending on local water temperatures. "Say,
Kodachi. Do you want to go get some icecream or somethin'?" She had just eaten, but she
never let trivialities like that get to her.

Kodachi blinked owlishly at her "Are you asking me out?"

Ranko immediately got a wide eyed and panicked expression "No, no! It ain't like that!" She
waved her hands frantically "I just meant, like as friends y'know, two girls! It's not a date if
we're both girls!"

Kodachi put a hand over her mouth and chuckled in a surprisingly natural and not scary
manner as she watched Ranko flounder. "You've obviously never attended an all girls
school..." She muttered quietly.

"Huh?" Ranko peered curiously at her, not sure what to make of that statement, being
surprisingly naive in such matters despite her curse.

"Not me! I'm not gay!" Kodachi suddenly blurted out under Ranko's intense scrutiny "I just
meant there are other girls at St Hebereke that do.. do... that..." She trailed off lamely while
twiddling her index fingers.

"Oh... right... So um... you wanna go or not?" Ranko asked, wondering how on earth they
had ended up on the topic of Kodachi's sexuality.

Gathering up the tattered remnants of her dignity, Kodachi nodded imperiously "Yes. I
believe I would like that." And the pair walked off into the sunset, the beginnings of a
beautiful new friendship in the making.

"Hello? Little Azusa is sorry. Can someone let me down now?" A forlorn voice called out,
though there was no one there to hear. "Please?"

Pretty soon a group of small children arrived and pronounced judgement on the hapless
kleptomaniac "Let's doodle on her!"

***

"So, earlier you mentioned you were a martial artist. What style do you practice?" Kodachi
asked her companion as the two sat in a booth at the same icecream shop Shampoo had
demolished in her search for Ranma back in Ranko's old life.

Ranko smirked cockily "Anything Goes. I'm the best there is."

Kodachi looked to be considering something for a moment before she spoke up "Isn't
Anything Goes the style practiced by that girl my brother is enamoured with? Something
Tendou?"

Ranko snorted "Feh, Akane Tendou? She just does regular kempo. Callin' that Anything
Goes is an insult."

"Really?" Kodachi arched an eyebrow "From the way Tatewaki goes on about her I assumed
she was some avatar of martial arts prowess brought to life."

Ranko shrugged "Well, she's good at kempo, but that's just a tiny fraction of what Anything
Goes is all about. Kempo is just a regular martial art you can learn at dojos' all over the
country. Anything Goes is the most powerful style in the world, and only a few people know
it."

"You seem to think very highly of your skills." Kodachi remarked dryly.

Ranko just nodded, not finding anything to dispute in that statement "I've dedicated my
whole life to the art, what would be the point if I had no noteworthy skills to show for it?"
She sighed sadly "Sometimes I feel like it's all I have."

Kodachi looked askance at the slight redhead who was apparently opening up to her. Her?
The Black Rose of St Hebereke? The thought was almost enough to make her laugh. Instead
she decided to take a chance and maybe open up a little herself. "I..." she began hesitantly,
pushing the dregs of her sundae around her dish "I... sometimes feel the same way. There are
times when I feel I could lock myself in my greenhouse and spend the rest of my days
tending to the flowers, and not a person in the world would care. And I wonder if I would
care? The roses never judge me or try to make me into someone I'm not..."

Ranko stared in slack jawed shock. In five minutes having a friendly chat, she'd gotten more
out of Kodachi than nearly a year of having the girl supposedly in love with her. "What
about your gymnastics?" She asked.

Kodachi laughed. Not her maniacal 'crazed noblewoman' laugh, but a bitter and cold laugh
filled with self loathing. "I don't even like gymnastics." She stopped with a pole axed look, as
if she couldn't believe what she had just admitted "I actually said it..." she whispered in an
awed tone "I hate gymnastics... I hate it..." A strange grin split her face as she stood up and
yelled "I Kodachi Kuno despise rhythmic gymnastics!"

Several apathetic grunts from the other patrons was her response, but Kodachi didn't let it
deter her. Instead she sat back down with an enormous smile as if she had figured out one of
life's great mysteries.

"Uh..." Ranko was rather overwhelmed by this. All this time and she'd never had a clue.. "If
you hate it, then why do you do it?"

Kodachi deflated in on herself a little "Back before father... left... he was concerned over my
spending too much time on my botany studies and suggested I take up a sport. His
suggestion consisted of sticking me on the rythmic gymnastics team and telling me to do the
Kuno name proud..." She had a faraway look in her eyes as she whispered "Kuno's never
lose."

Ranko barely avoided bursting into laughter as she thought of Kodachi's brother, but
knowing that this was some sort of breakthrough for the other girl helped keep her calm. "So
that's why you always ambushed the other teams? To always win?"

Kodachi nodded "Yes. But that stops now! First thing tomorrow I'm quitting the team. If
father is too busy to look after us, I fail to see why I should 'honour' him by carrying out his
wishes." Impulsively she leaned over and hugged Ranko "I should have done this years ago.
Thankyou for letting me see that."

Ranko still had a shell shocked look on her face as she replied "I didn't do anything..."

"Hmm, you're right. But I wouldn't have been able to realise that I was wasting my time on
something I hated if we hadn't had this talk."

"So... are ya goin' to spend more time on flowers and stuff now that you're not a gymnast?"
Ranko asked, weirded out at this abrupt lifestlye change from someone she thought she had
pegged.

"Perhaps..." Kodachi mused "Or maybe I'll find something else I enjoy. I am only sixteen
after all, I have my whole life to find out."

Ranko smiled happily "That's a good attitude to take Kodachi."

***

That night, Happosai lay still in his blankets in Ranko's living room. He was trying to sleep
but he couldn't. They were calling to him.

"Help us, Happosai..." a small voice begged.

"Please, you are the only one who can end our unjust servitude." another called out, the
feminine voice choked with emotion.

"If you can rescue us..." the throaty voice trailed off, seeming to hint at a thousand pleasures
that would be bestowed upon it's benefactor.

Unable to stand it any longer, Happosai leapt from his bedding "Fear not my silky darlings!
I'm coming to save you!"

He was about to leave via the window and resume his righteous crusade when another voice
impinged on his consciousness. He was barely able to make out the distressed moans and
low whimpering coming from Ranko's room, and wondered what could cause her to have
nightmares when she had seemed so happy earlier when she returned from Nodoka's.

Happosai was struck by momentary indecision. Ranko had made some pretty dire warnings
about what would happen if she caught him in her room at night, and his silky darlings
weren't going to rescue themselves. But the noises from her room tugged at his withered old
heart. What kind of martial arts master would he be to let a pretty girl suffer nightmares?

That did it. Firm in his convictions, Happosai stealthily entered Ranko's room and crept up
to the bed where his student was tossing and turning, having kicked her covers off in the
night. Luckily her modesty was protected by a set of blue pajama's. Happosai tutted at that, a
girl like her should adorned in the finest silk lingerie, yet she refused to wear the items he
had been willing to sacrifice from his own collection.

"Mmm... gettaway... please pop... I don't wanna..." She half murmered, rolling over and
conking Happosai on the head with an outstretched arm.

Happosai furrowed his already wrinkled brow as he wondered just what she was dreaming
about. From the way it sounded... had her father...?

"No... don' like... cats..." a muffled sob came out before she shrieked "Not my eyes!" and
curled up in a fetal position, shuddering violently.

Cats? Wondered Happosai, dismissing his earlier suspicions about her father. It was
probably just a meaningless dream, nothing more. He briefly considered waking her from the
nightmare before deciding she needed her beauty sleep. Instead he whipped an incense
burner out of stuffspace along with several rare herbs. With the ease of long practice, he
prepared the proper solution and set it burning on her nightstand.

Within a few moments, Ranko stretched out of the fetal position and a smile crossed her
unconscious features. It seemed her dreams had turned to a more soothing type. Happosai
nodded to himself in satisfaction and pulled the blankets back over the slumbering teenager.

"Now my silky darlings, I've kept you waiting long enough!" The old letch whispered before
bounding out of the apartment, seeking to further his lifelong quest.

***

Chapter 7

Ranko paused in her kata to wipe some sweat from her brow as she reflected over the past
couple of weeks. All in all, her new life was going pretty smoothly, even though she still
couldn't wait to return to her old one. Akane had attacked her at school a few times, but she
was able to put the tomboy down with little fuss each time. It seemed her relationship with
Akane in this life had all the bad parts of her old one with none of the good. Not that she was
surprised at this, since she had done nothing but antagonise the poor girl since arriving.

More surprising were the two Kuno siblings. Kuno had not once said a single word to her,
which was really weird since she was just as attractive and skilled as the 'pigtailed girl' but
way more feminine acting. She was occasionaly tempted to just ask Kuno why the hell he
wasn't obsessing over her, but decided that it would be best not to look a gift horse in the
mouth.

She still couldn't believe Kodachi had given up rhythmic gymnastics so abruptly. While the
Black Rose was still borderline insane, she was surprisingly good company when not trying
to steal kisses with paralysis powder or yelling about the pigtailed girl stealing her Ranma-
sama. With any luck, the fact that her new friend Ranko had a claim on Ranma would keep
Kodachi from falling for him this time around. Plus, Kodachi was a genius, and had helped
Ranko with her schoolwork quite a bit.

Happosai was still hard to figure out. He was just as much a pervert as always, but for some
reason Ranko was considered off limits. she thought it might be because she was his student,
but that had never stopped him tormenting 'Ranma-chan', so it had to be something else. He
had disappeared yesterday to attend the 'All Japan Cheerleading Finals' in Okinawa, and
likely wouldn't be back for a week or so, which would at least give Ranko time to do
something about all the stolen underwear cluttering up her apartment.

She was about to resume her exercises when she noticed a group of boys ogling her. If there
wasn't one thing she missed about living in a dojo, it was peace to practice her art
undisturbed. She liked doing katas in the park since it was relaxing to be outside in the
sunshine, but those damned perverts always showed up to leer at her. If she didn't do
something to scare them off soon, then no doubt they'd work up the nerve to come over and
start hitting on her. She couldn't really blame them, since she was one of the hottest girls she
knew, and her affectionately named 'sexy kunoichi' outfit she wore when practicing only
added to that, but it still pissed her off having to deal with horny boys.

Nodding to herself as she settled on a plan, Ranko leapt into an advanced kata of her own
devising which incorporated many chops and knife hand strikes at amaguriken speed. The
net effect was similar to Kuno's air pressure trick, and she proceeded to neatly prune a
nearby willow tree from several metres away. After winding down, she turned on the boys
with a cruel smirk and popped her knuckles while manifesting a small battle aura.

"Feh." she tossed her hair arrogantly as the boys ran off in terror "That should give me some
peace and quiet."

After an hour or so of uninterrupted martial arts fun (though it would have been more fun if
someone had attacked her while screaming 'Ranko, prepare to die!' - she really wished she
had some decent rivals in this life) she was finishing up and preparing to go home when she
spotted a familiar figure walking a zigzag path through the park. "Ryouga?" She whispered
upon seeing the telltale red umbrella strapped to an enormous backpack.

Indeed it was Ryouga Hibiki, who had been trying to intercept Ranma at Shanghai and was
rather surprised to find himself back in Japan. The lost boy was asking for directions from
anyone who came close to him, and then walking off perpendicular to whichever way those
kind souls would point in.

Ranko sighed at the sight. She felt sorry for him, she really did, but there was no way in hell
she was going to offer any assistance. Given how easily Ryouga fell in love with any pretty
girl that so much as said hello in a friendly manner, she did not want that kind of hassle. She
shuddered as she remembered the koi rod incident, it had only been Ryouga's intense dislike
for his rival that had saved her then, if Ryouga actually liked her and pulled a stunt like that
though... being that moron's love slave for life was not a pleasant proposition.

She was about to leave the park in the opposite direction when some children playing by a
fountain splashed Ryouga, resulting in a damp pile of clothes with a small piglet struggling
to get out.

"No way..." she breathed, wondering how Ryouga had gotten himself cursed if Ranma
hadn't, then she giggled to herself "It must be karma!" Not wanting to leave her onetime
rival in such a vulnerable state, she went to a nearby kiosk and bought a cup of tea and some
chocolate. Promptly devouring the confection, she drank half the hot tea and walked over
towards the sad little piglet which was trotting round in circles, no doubt wondering who had
placed it in such a fiendish maze. As she walked past, she dropped the styrofoam cup full of
tea onto the pig and continued walking without a backwards glance.

Ryouga, for his part, scrambled to retrieve his clothes before he was branded a pervert, not
questioning his luck in escaping his awful cursed form.

Ranko was just leaving the park when she heard the familiar yell of "Damn you Ranma!
This is all your fault!" and couldn't help but smile to herself.

***

"Ranko Xiawang, I challenge you!"

"Aw crud." Ranko slapped her forehead as she found Akane waiting outside her apartment
building. It was getting to the point where she was developing a reflex for pounding Akane
on sight like she used to pound Kuno, and that would only spell disaster when she returned
to her old life. "Lemme alone you stupid tomboy." She huffed exasparatedly.

"I won't rest until I recover our dojo sign! And don't expect me to go easy on you this time."
Akane adopted a Ryouga-esque pose of righteous anger.

"That's my line." Ranko muttered as she fought down the urge to just blast Akane with a
Mouko Takabisha so she could get inside and make dinner. "Look Akane, you're a hundred
years too young to beat me. Go home." She knew that when Cologne used that line on her it
only served to spur her on, but for some reason Ranko expected Akane to simply aquiese to
her superior wisdom and give up. It was true too, since the battle dougi had shown what
Akane could be capable of if she lived to be as old as the ghoul and actually trained
properly, and it wasn't all that impressive as far as she was concerned.

Akane purpled with rage at the slight to her skills. "I'll show you! Yaa!" She charged
forward with her oh so predictable thrust kick opening.

"Geez Akane, you start with that attack every time and it hasn't worked once." Ranko
commented from her position perched atop Akane's head. She then hopped off and set about
lazily dodging all of her foe's attacks as she pondered how to take Akane out today.

One of the first things she had done since Happosai had started living with her and treating
her nicely was to get him to teach some of those nifty pressure point attacks he and Cologne
were so fond of. From her training under Genma she only knew a few simple ones to knock
someone out or paralyse limbs, but Happosai had been all too happy to teach her some of the
more esoteric attacks, and she was currently wondering if any were appropriate to use on
Akane now. She didn't want to do anything permanent or really nasty like the Cat's Tongue
or Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion, just a little something to inconvienience the tomboy and
amuse herself.

Settling on a plan, the redhead flipped over Akane, who had given up any kind of finesse and
was now just flailing wildly at her opponent, and poked several spots around her kidneys.

"What did you do to me?!" Akane demanded after an abrupt full body shudder.

"I just hit your 'uncontrollable incontinence point'. There's a public restroom over there."
Ranko pointed to a small building a few hundred yards down the street "I suggest you
hurry."

"Incontinence point? Don't be ridicul-" Akane suddenly got a wide eyed look and clenched
her legs together. She whimpered slightly and started crabwalking as fast as she could in the
direction Ranko had indicated.

"Heh..." Ranko chuckled "There's just way too much potential to abuse stuff like that." It
certainly wasn't the most honourable way to finish the fight, but as far as she was concerned
Akane deserved what she got for stepping so far out of her league. With any luck it would
convince her to leave well enough alone for at least a few days.

***

The next day at school, Ranko was surprised to be approached by one Nabiki Tendou after
lessons had ended. "Ranko-san, I'd like to talk to you a moment." the middle Tendou sister
intercepted the redhead as she was just leaving the gate.

"Something I can do for you Nabiki-sempai?" Ranko asked, expecting this was about the
dojo sign, and wondering why it had taken Nabiki so long to get involved.

Of course, the reason Nabiki had not gotten involved was simple apathy. The dojo had no
students anyway, so the sign was meaningless as far as she was concerned, and she
personally had found Akane's 'quest' to be a source of incredible amusement. But last night
her entire family had ganged up on her to come up with a solution after little sister's latest
ignoble failure, which was why she was now here despite her better judgement.

Because despite her unflappable exterior, Ranko scared Nabiki a bit. Nabiki had no
blackmail information on the mysterious girl who had so abruptly went from complete
nobody to focus of attention for most of the school a few weeks ago, and Nabiki had no
desire to be victim to whatever Ranko had done to Akane last night. Then there were the
rumours that Ranko was friends with Kodachi Kuno, and if the rumours and what her
brother himself told her was true, the Black Rose was one seriously twisted bitch. Nope, if
Nabiki had a choice, she would not be touching this situation with a ten foot bargepole.

"Look Ranko-san, it's simple. My family has asked me to retrieve our dojo's sign. What do
you want for it?" Nabiki winced internally, she was starting from a very weak position, and
had essentially just handed over all negotiating power to her foe, but she really had no idea
what Ranko wanted, nor anything to use as leverage. There was Ranko's connection to that
bastard panty thief, but bringing that up would drive her own family name through the muck
since he was the grandmaster of their school.

Ranko shook her head "Sorry Nabiki, it's a matter of honour."

Nabiki almost growled, but retained her control "Look Ranko, I don't give a rat's ass about
you martial artists and your archaic concepts of honour. There has to be something I can do
to get that sign back?" Gods this must really be hurting her reputation if anyone could hear
her practically begging for the stupid piece of wood.

Ranko was about to make another flat denial when a brilliant idea suddenly struck her. "I
might have an idea Nabiki, why don't we discuss this over dinner? Your treat?" She smirked
evilly, remembering all the times Nabiki had screwed her over for a little yen.

***

Shoulda known better... Ranko reflected as she twirled her chopsticks in the substandard
bowl of cheap ramen. When Nabiki had taken her to this little yatai she hadn't the heart to
put up a fuss about going somewhere more upscale. "Okay Nabiki, it's like this. I can't give
the sign back yet, but I can promise to return it soon. But only after certain conditions are
met."

"What conditions would those be?" Nabiki asked guardedly, ignoring the sole glass of water
she had ordered, seeing no need to waste more of her money when she could eat a proper
meal upon returning home.

"Well..." Ranko hesitated, wondering how much of her hand she should play "Firstly, I need
you to tell me if your family is contacted by anyone named Saotome." In her old life she had
arrived this coming Sunday, but she had no way of knowing if that would hold for the
uncursed Ranma in this world.

"Why would we be contacted by this Saotome? I don't know that name."

Ranko smiled wanly "It's a matter of honour. I can't tell you the details yet..." Because she
knew Nabiki would use those to ferret out more information, and she didn't want the
Tendous' to be too well informed "But I have an interest in that family. Anyway, that's all I
need from you. Once I have settled my business with the Saotomes, I'll return the sign." She
considered just outright warning Nabiki off 'her fiance' but was concerned if she did that and
it got back to Ranma he'd see her as some violent psycho chick.

"That's it? You just want me to tell you if we are contacted by anyone named Saotome?"
Nabiki asked suspiciously, it sounded way too simple.

Ranko shrugged "I guess. Tell Akane to stop bothering me too."

"Right..." Nabiki drawled out. As if she had any way of controlling her violent little sister.
"Well, I guess that's enough. Bye." She got up and left, tonight she'd be asking her father all
about this 'Saotome'. There had to be more to this than Ranko was letting on, and Nabiki
wanted answers.

"Bye." Ranko waved Nabiki off and considered her poor quality ramen. Oh well, she'd had
worse, she drained the bowl in one long gulp and went home.

***