Here
Cometh the Cheese
Author: Kellen
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I make no money from this.
Summary: Don't you remember this from the first time around? *sigh* Oh,
well...Let's see if *I* remember the summary...
Estel meets his match in prank playing, in the Master Cook himself. When
things get out of hand, Estel's efforts to set things right overshadow
the original prank. Imladris will never be the same.
Rating: PG
Author's warning: Due to an unfortunate incident involving chili and a
computer screen, I have modified my warning. Do not read while eating or
drinking anything.
Additional disclaimers: The author is not responsible for any damage to
computers due to the violent expulsion of half chewed food onto said
computer. (See warning above: I warned you, therefore, not my fault!)
Nor is the author responsible for any injuries resulting in laughing so
hard as to fall off a chair. I am not responsible for what my words
cause.
Oh, and I claim immunity against stupid grammar errors or typos. I blame
that on my klutzy three legged wolf-dog who broke my nose. I can't think
straight. Hey, you try forming coherent thoughts when your nose, of all
things, is throbbing, ok? And I wear glasses...You people are lucky I
can even find the keyboard.
I will also say again, this is all Bill the Pony's fault. I should never
had told her about that dream...
So, without further ado...
Chapter Two of Here Cometh the Cheese
They'd gotten him. Estel was more than willing to admit defeat. The
Master Cook had pulled a good one on him, but, seriously, cheese wheels
of doom? Who was going to believe that? Estel shook his head; he almost
did. What was he supposed to expect, what with Elrond shaking in fear,
and Elladan and Elrohir up in arms, and Legolas shushing him so quickly?
Estel had to laugh. Cheese wheels. What did they think he was? Sure, it
had rattled him. The Cook had seemed so crazy at the time, and the
absurdity of it all reduced Estel's thinking process to monosyllabic
sounds.
He figured that if he just apologized to Fiwen and offered to see if he
could find some herb that would get rid of the purple without damaging
her natural dark color, then all would be well. He was on his way to do
just that. He was having trouble finding Fiwen without the escort of her
orc of a brother who seemed intent on murdering Estel, Lord Elrond's
adopted son or not. Estel had the bruises to prove it. Estel was on the
pathway, peering into the dusk, looking for a bright spot of purple when
he heard shouts.
"Estel, move," Elladan called.
Estel jumped to the side and stared wide eyed at the procession of armed
elves running past him. These were Elladan's scouts, who posessed the
best aim in Rivendell, armed with bows, overloaded with arrows and
weilding swords. All of them wore looks that reminded Estel of an army
going to certain death.
"Elladan?" he questioned. "Wha..."
Elladan whirled on him. "You should go inside, little brother."
"Wha..." Estel winced. There it was. Monosyllabic vocabulary.
"You surely do not understand the severity of the situation if you are
still outside, Estel. The cheese rolls again." Elladan placed his hands
on Estel's shoulders and shoved him toward the manor. "Go."
Estel looked over his shoulder. "Good joke, Elladan."
"Get inside. It's dangerous out here."
"Right. I believe you. Really. I do."
Estel had barely finished his sentence when a scream shattered the still
air. Color drained from Elladan's face. "Please, Eru, no. Not
already."
"What, Elladan?"
"The cheese's first victim." Elladan gestured to his scouts.
"Find her,"
he called. He turned back to Estel. "Please go inside, little brother.
Please."
Estel stood stock still. "Wha..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Estel spoke with Elrond several hours later. He'd gone inside, still
blinking in bewilderment over Elladan and his scouts. Some time after
that, he could be found sharpening his blade and replenishing his
arrows. This thing wasn't going to catch him off guard. He had stopped
at that thought.
It's a cheese wheel, Estel. A cheese wheel.
He'd put down his weapons and started wandering the halls. Legolas,
Elrohir and Elladan were no where to be found. "Out hunting cheese,"
Estel thought miserably, and laughed.
What were they up to? Was this one huge joke designed so that they could
avoid him?
What? Did he smell bad?
Estel was in the midst of checking that very thing when Elrond came
around the corner. He raised his eyebrows at his son standing in the
middle of the hallway, arm up, sniffing the air. Elrond cleared his
throat, and Estel, very slowly, lowered his arm and looked at his
father.
"Oh, Ada, I was just...I was...uhm, stretching." Estel stammered.
"Stretching," he finished more confidently, and nodded.
Elrond sighed, and Estel saw grief in the elder elf's eyes.
"Ada, what is it?"
Elrond ran a hand over his face. "I am sorry, Estel. I could not save
her."
"Save her? What happened?" Estel thought for a second. "Who's
'her'?"
"Fiwen," Elrond breathed. "Fiwen is gone."
"Wha..." Estel stopped, forcing words through his lips, even as his
heart broke. Despite her orc of a brother, he honestly cared for the
young elf. Fiwen had been like an older sister at times; had took care
of him sometimes when he was but a child. "Fiwen? How?"
Elrond almost stopped the joke then and there. Poor Estel honestly
believed Fiwen had died; not surprising since Elrond was hardly given to
lie to him. Elrond could see the pain festering already the man's heart.
Elrond took a deep breath, steadying himself. He had promised the twins
he would see this through. And Fiwen had been more than happy to play
her part to the hilt, as revenge for the purple hair. "The cheese rolls
again, Estel. The cheese rolls again."
Estel turned on his heel and headed back to his rooms. He had weapons to
make ready.
The cheese was going to meet its match.
Before long, Estel was patrolling the words, sword in hand and bow
ready.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What is he doing?"
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Elrohir, you set him up for this, you do
realize that?"
"Well, yes, but I never thought he would go as far as to hunt the cheese
wheel." Elrohir hopped to another branch, peering through the gathering
darkness to gaze at Estel, who moved with so much stealth as to make it
hard for even elves to find him. "He believes the cheese wheel
thing?"
"Aye, he does," Elladan added. "Fiwen died."
Elrohir turned a confused gaze on his twin. "Wha..."
Elladan rolled his eyes. "Now I know where Estel gets it," he
muttered.
Louder, he stated. "Fiwen. She died. First victim of the cheese. Ada
told him, and the next thing we know, Estel is hunting cheese."
"So, where is the cheese wheel?"
Legolas shrugged. "I took it back to the Master Cook. He was still
muttering about cheese wheels of doom and indolent human boys."
Elrohir nodded. "Where is our purple haired friend?"
"Fiwen? I do not know. She is probably relaxing."
Elrohir shook his head. "No, Elladan, I don't think so. If I know Fiwen,
she is watching Estel as intently as we are. It is, after all, her
revenge."
Legolas narrowed his eyes. "So, how does the Master Cook fit into this?
I thought he started this."
"Aye, he did," Elrohir said. "Fiwen, though, picked it up after
the
initial cheese wheel thing..." he trailed off for a moment, not entirely
sure how to describe the incident. He shook his head. "Fiwen was more
than happy to play along, as I recall."
Elladan smiled. "Yes, it was her idea to 'die'."
Elrohir laughed softly. "Elladan, Legolas...I have an idea." He
looked
at Estel again, who was stalking away, looking left and right for loose
cheese wheels. "Should we take this a step farther? We need Ada's help
with this one, though."
"What do you have in mind?" Legolas questioned, eyes brightening at
the
possibility of an even better prank.
tbc...
(What? I tried for the best cliffhanger I could come up with at the
moment...)
Cheers, Kellen (still nursing a horribly throbbing nose)
