Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan.
A Not so Simple Wish
Chapter 19
by Ebiris

Ranko carefully schooled her features into an expression of neutrality as she surveyed
her surroundings. A beef bowl shop. And a dirty one at that. Obviously Genma wasn't
willing to even put the least bit effort into his wife's latest crazy plan, not that she could
blame him for that. Still, it would have been nice to go someplace at least a little classier.

As the pair made their way to the counter, she did her best to ignore some of the lewd
suggestions from the less savoury patrons as to what business a young girl such as herself
would have with a fat middle aged guy like Genma. In truth it was nothing she hadn't
heard before since getting the curse, but it still bothered her that people could see her that
way.

They both sat at the counter and were greeted by the greasy haired proprieter of the
establishment. "What can I get ya?" the man asked, his lips curled in half a sneer while
he idly rubbed his hands on his apron, which only seemed to get them dirtier.

"I'll have the deluxe combination, with eggs." Genma said after a quick glance at the
pricing board.

"Er... I'll just have a regular beef bowl," Ranko said, for the first time realising just how
spoiled she was ever since the training trip had ended. At one time food from a dive like
this would have been manna from heaven, but ever since living with the Tendous her
standards had gone up quite a bit.

Wordlessly, the man scooped some beef into a bowl and plopped it down in front of
Ranko, before assembling a small platter of various meats and giving it to Genma.

"So..." Genma opened the conversation. "You're still set on marrying the boy, eh?"

"Yes." Ranko bobbed her head up and down in agreement.

"What if I told you that he's an arrogant brat with no respect for his long suffering father
who worked so hard to raise him?" Genma asked, finishing with a theatrical sob at the
injustice of having such a worthless son.

"Uh... what does that have to do with me?" Ranko asked, his insults against Ranma (and
by extension her) flowing over her like water off a duck's back since she was quite used
to tuning out Genma's rants.

Genma blinked in confusion, as if he had somehow expected sympathy for all the
sacrifices he had made in raising an unappreciative son. "Well, why would you want to
marry a boy who has no respect for his own father?"

Ranko considered her response. It was incredibly tempting to just start insulting the fat,
worthless panda, but did she really want to alienate him? Then again, who in the world
ever really gave a shit what Genma Saotome thought about anything? "Maybe he just
gives you the respect you deserve," she pointed out innocently, not even bothering to hide
her smirk.

"If he did then he wouldn't be such a problem," Genma complained, seeming to
completely miss her point. "Alright then," he gathered himself once more, seeming to
prepare a different approach. "the boy's scared of cats! Do you really want to marry a
man who's terrified of a little pussy?"

Ranko flinched at the feline reference, and managed to remain blissfully ignorant of the
double entendre sailing right over her head. "I don't like cats either," she said in between
grinding her teeth.

Genma snorted at that. "Even so, do you really want to spend your life with a man who
panics at the slightest glimpse of a cat? Oh how I am shamed by my cowardly son!" The
overweight martial artist began wailing at the indignity.

"So. It's not like cats are everywhere," Ranko said, even as she surreptitously glanced
around in case any felines were hiding in the dark corners of the restaurant, waiting to
attack the moment she let her guard down. Unconsciously, she shuddered.

Genma sighed, probably having expected her to have given up on his worthless son by
now. "Time to bring out the big guns..." he whispered, apparently psyching himself up
before whipping off his bandanna to expose his naked cranium to the world. "He'll be
bald by the time he's thirty! No Saotome male has ever escaped this horrible curse!"

*That* got a reaction. "You're lying!" Ranko almost yelled, recoiling away from him and
fingering her scarlet tresses protectively. She still remembered how close she had come to
going bald from the Dragon's Whisker incident. She didn't give a stuff about the Ranma
of *this* reality going bald, but it was certainly a fate she wished to avoid herself.

Genma gave her a mournful look as tears streamed down his face. "Would these eyes
lie?" he asked while pointing to said orbs.

Ranko barely kept herself from responding with an emphatic yes as she tried to calm
herself down. Future hair loss was the least of her worries, given her current wrong
gender. Wracking her brain, she tried to recall all the stuff her pop had said in the past to
excuse his baldness. "Um... isn't baldness a sign of virility?"

He gave her a hooded gaze. "I left my wife for ten years," he said simply, as if that
explained everything.

Funnily enough it did.

Ranko's innocent naivete could no longer shield her from the harsh facts being thrown at
her. "No! That's an even worse lie!" she screamed, half hysterical and covering her ears.
"I can't hear you. I can't hear you!"

A few half-hearted murmers came from the other patrons encouraging her to pipe down,
but no one seemed to really care.

"Calm down, girl," Genma shook her roughly. "It's not the end of the world, I'm sure you
can find someone else to marry."

Ranko managed to calm herself just enough to respond in a coherent fashion. "No, no.
That's alright, after all, I'm sure we can have plenty of children before he loses his hair
and his... er, y'know..." Her voice held a strange edge to it as she spoke.

Genma let out a great big sigh of frustration, but before he could rally more arguments, a
shout came from the door. "Hey! That's the guy!"

Both of them turned at the noise to see several men crowding the entryway. Genma
immediately stiffened, and Ranko took a moment to analyse them before she too
stiffened.

Each of the men was missing a single finger, and there were subtle bulges in their
clothing which she recognised as being concealed firearms. They were Yakuza. They
were pointing at Genma. They did not look happy.

The leader (Ranko identified him as such because he wore the most expensive clothes,
although the tacky jewellery indicated he probably wasn't very high up in the overall
chain of command) sauntered over to them while another casually made his way to cover
the fire escape, leaving three more at the main entrance.

"Well, well, well. I never thought I'd see you again," the leader said to Genma, a shark's
grin on his face. "Perhaps you'd like to step outside so we can... discuss... the money you
stole from us." He took a moment to leer at Ranko, his gold tooth glinting harshly in the
light. "Otherwise things might not go so well for you and your lady companion."

Genma stood to his full height, looming over the Yakuza and looking every inch the
deadly martial artist he truly was. Gone was the fat buffoon that people were so familiar
with, and in his place stood the Master of the Saotome School of Anything Goes martial
arts. A man who knew of over a dozen ways to kill the fool before him with but a single
strike. A man who could not help but command the fear and respect of those around him.

"I'm sorry! Take the girl, please! Just leave me alone!"

"Hey!" Ranko cried out in surprise at being grabbed and held in front of Genma like a
human shield.

The Yakuza looked shocked for an instant, then sneered. "I'm not interested in your
whore, just give us back the money and we won't have to hurt you... too much."

"Whore?" Ranko repeated quietly, a dangerous glint in her eyes. A quick scan of her
surroundings showed that most of the other customers had cleared out, and the proprieter
was hiding behind the counter. That meant she could get away with a fair bit of property
damage, but first she wanted to know exactly what was going on. "What the hell did you
do, old man?" she asked Genma.

"Well... I had a lot of debts to pay off, and it's not like anyone would mind if I stole from
criminals..." Genma attempted to explain reasonably.

"Yeah. No one except the criminals you moron!" Ranko replied angrily. "Besides,
weren't you supposed to be getting a job to bring money in?"

"I did!" Genma protested. "I was working as a watchman at the industrial park when I
saw them selling drugs. I overheard that they were doing it without the Oyabun's consent,
so I didn't expect any reprisals from the Yakuza..."

"What Oyabun doesn't know won't hurt him. And it wouldn't have hurt you if you'd kept
your nose out of our business," the leader snarled.

"Alright then, old man. Take your beating and give them their money back, I don't
wanna deal with this crap." Ranko turned to face Genma as she spoke.

"I spent it all..." Genma said in a small voice.

"WHAT?!" the leader roared. "How the fuck could you spend two million yen in three
days?!"

"Well, I had a lot of debts..."

The Yakuza growled before gesturing to his thugs. "Waste the pair of them, boys." The
sound of guns being readied was clearly audible through the hushed silence after that
statement.

Ranko gasped and lashed out with a rear kick which snapped the man's leg like a dry
twig, sending him to the floor howling in agony. In the same movement, she spun round
and picked up her stool, not even slowing down as the bolts securing it to the floor were
ripped out, and hurled it at the three thugs at the door. She was gratified to see one end
crushed the arm of the middle thug, before spinning off and striking a glancing blow on
the head of the one next to him, rendering him unconscious. The three went down in a
tangled heap, with the uninjured one struggling to pick himself up from beneath his
wounded fellows and the stool.

Spotting the last remaining thug was just beginning to raise his gun, Ranko grabbed a
chopstick from her bowl and flicked it with pinpoint accuracy to jam the barrel.
Smirking at her own impressiveness, she opened her mouth to gloat, and was quite
surprised when the gun, instead of exploding in suitably comedic fashion, fired normally
(albeit preceded by bits of chopstick shrapnel flying everywhere) in her direction.

"You shot me?!" she cried out in surprise, looking at where the sleeve of her blouse was
torn and a small burn ran across her arm from the bullet's passage. "I can't believe you
shot me!"

"The next one won't just graze you, bitch!" the thug replied, angry at having his aim
knocked off by the chopstick. He had been trying to shoot Genma, but since the portly
martial artist was just cowering there, he decided the girl was the greater threat.
Unfortunately he was unaware that in forcing the chopstick out in his prior shot, the gun
barrel had been deformed, which resulted in the cartridge being blown back through the
gun and exploding all over his hand after he pulled the trigger.

"Yeah! That's what shoulda happened the first time!" Ranko crowed as the final thug
went down screaming and clutching his bloodied limb.

Of course, now that everything had been dealt with, that was the cue for the police sirens
to become audible and rapidly louder as law enforcement arrived belatedly to take over.

***

Genma smirked at his own cleverness. While he was sure that he could have dealt with
those thugs last night by himself, he was grudgingly impressed with the girl's
performance, and after they had given their statements to the police (leaving out any
mention of illegal drug money), he had convinced her to go somewhere else to continue
their 'father - daugher-in-law' bonding. Then he had proceeded to add his sake to her own
non alcoholic drinks whenever she wasn't looking.

Ranko had a pitiful alcohol tolerance, so it hadn't taken more than three spiked drinks
before she was more than a little tipsy and then started ordering straight sake for herself.
After that it had been child's play to convince the sloshed schoolgirl to sign a document
swearing that she would give up her claims on the boy. Admittedly, her penmanship was
pretty poor when drunk, and he didn't even know how her name was supposed to be
spelled anyway, but it was probably okay.

Spotting his wife coming out of the kitchen with breakfast while the boy was currently in
the garden practicing, he produced the paper and affected a depressed look. "Oh,
Nodoka, I have bad news..."

"What is it, dearest?" Nodoka asked while dishing out Genma's serving.

"It seems that Ranko girl doesn't want to marry Ranma after all, I even have a signed
paper saying she'll give up."

Nodoka eyed him distrustfully. "Let me see," she asked in a cold tone.

Genma fought to keep the grin from his face as he handed over the piece of paper. Now
the schools would be joined for sure!

Nodoka frowned as she scanned it before looking up with a puzzled expression. "It says
here that Ranma Saotome promises not to marry Ranma Saotome..." she looked at
Genma curiously. "What on earth does this have to do with anything, dear?"

Genma fought back the tears. The girl was obviously far more cunning than he had given
her credit for!

***

"Oh... my head..." A thoroughly bedraggled redhead sat up from her bedroll and groaned
piteously. Staggering out of her bedroom, she poured a glass of water from the kitchen
sink and drank it, trying to remove the fuzzy feeling all over her tongue. She could
barely remember anything that had happened last night, the only thing she was certain of
was the confirmation that her stupid girl body couldn't handle its drink.

Oh, and getting shot. That was certainly one of her less clever moments, since she was
pretty sure there were plenty of other ways to disable the guy without trying that fancy
chopstick trick she remembered seeing in a movie once. Still, getting shot hadn't hurt that
much compared to some of the more dangerous ki attacks she had been hit with, but if
the bullet had been a foot to the right... she didn't want to think about what could have
happened...

The next thing she noticed was that her feet were covered in vomit, and there was a trail
of the stuff all over the floor, terminating at the sink. "Eeww!" She recoiled from the
sight of her dirty dishes, made even more disgusting by the thick spattering of puke all
over them.

A knock at the door sent shudders of pain through her head, and she weakly made her
way over to the door, wondering who would be inconsiderate enough to bother her at this
ungodly hour when she was feeling so rough.

"You have a package, Xiawang-san," her apartment manager greeted her, struggling
with a fairly large box.

Ranko glared at him balefully, or at least tried to until she discovered her eyes wouldn't
focus properly. "Gimme," she mumbled, taking it from him and slamming the door in his
face. Looking at it, she was surprised to see that it wasn't addressed to her, but hers was
the return address. Dumbly, she scratched her head and wondered aloud. "When did I
send something to Antarctica?"

***