Yep, here we are once again. I had finished off the haku bored project thinking, "Ha! I have beaten the system and freed myself from bondage!" but then I got a lot of people saying that they were angered that the fic had ended, and because of that little red bitch in my chest, I thought, "Ah crap" and then began to sit down and tell the masses that I was beginning the sequel... yes, well this would be it. Longer chapters, longer spurts of randomness, which, of course, calls for LONGER INTROS AND INTROS TO THE INTROS!!! It's kinda sad knowing that this is the majority of the people's favorite part of the story... but, that's just how life works. Oh, and to the people who hated 'When Haku Gets Bored' and are cringing at the thought that this new line has come into existance, I just want you to know that God hates you and has damned your soul to the ever lasting fires of hell, and has forsaken you beyond all human comprehension. That's why this is happening to you. Now then, this type of paragraoh is what I'd like to call the 'informative paragraph,' which I normally don't use, but felt necessary for talking about this sequel. Now we get to move on to the disclaimer paragraph!!!

This should be the shortest paragraph on this thing. Just wanna say that Haku, the bathhouse, and most of the other stuff in this fic was Miyazaki's creation, not mine. Of course, if it were mine, Chihiro would have been replaced by a lovely door handle, Haku would walk around in either 1) butt tight leather or 2) drag. I'm not sure which. Yubaaba would be replaced with some sexy bishounen who runs the... hmmm... let's say the whore house, to make things interesting. Rin would also be some hot man, and instead of the whole pig thing, people who piss the whore house people off get turned into transvestites. For the rest of the characters not mentioned, they are pieces of toast. Sadly, Spirited Away isn't my creation, so this lovely story plot will never come into play. It's probably for the best, otherwise it would have bombed the box office, and be known as one of the worst animes in history. So, yeah, that's why I don't own Spirited Away, aside from the fact that I'll never have a tenth of the money necessary to buy all legal rights to it. Now, for the intro to the intro.

Yeah, the informative and disclaimer took a while, but they only show on this chapter, and otherwise won't ever be around again, uless I end this and then find myself writing the sequel to the sequel, which I find to be a very scary thought. My inspiration for this chapter came to me yesterday, when I was drawing my comic, which sucks ass, I'll have you know, and an idea popped into my head... not really, but I'll say so anyway. Actually, I don't HAVE inspiration for this fic. It'll probably come to me as I write, but until then I'm screwed cuz I don't even know what my topic is yet. Now then, you've only got one more paragraph to go, unless you're one of those really intellectual types who skipped the long ass paragraphs and went ahead to the story. Otherwise, you guessed it, you have come to the intro!!!

Alright, I started this whole new, 'give me your romance fic and I'll butcher it and post it up' thing, and I got one person's fic, and I still need to put it up, but the fic in and of itself scared the shit out of me. Besides yaoi, which I can cope with usually, it had inscest, making things a bit weird. On top of that, there was pedophilia. So we then had a pedolphiliac incestial yaoi couple, that was totally wrong, not to mention both characters were both OOC. Yes, normally I would handle such things on my own, but then i remembered one person who could butcher this tye of works beyond all measure. This person is my vice god Hoochieman. Hoochieman did a really good job on maming the fic, but there is only one slight problem. It seems that the vice god has a thing gainst Georgians, and had a few too many hic jokes about them (I laughed my ass off at every single one) but i'm not sure the Geaorgia people would be all to appreciative (great, now I'm referring to you guys as a country unto yourselves. Damn you Hoochieman!!) So then, if you're from Georgia, tell me if you would be offended if this was put up, and if you're not from Georgia... er... pretend you are and tell me the same thing. I would also like to throw in really quickly that I got Miyazaki fan's email, and tried sending a reply twice, but each time it came back as undeliverable. I believe your email account is screwed so I'd suggest getting a new one. Yeah, you can be now known as the kid with the messed up email address. Don't worry, though. If you can obsess over such messed up things as the haku bored plot, you're probably a cool person, for most of them like unlogical stuff. This just marks me as a dork. Okay then... onto the fic!!!

HAKU SAGA!!!

Haku was bored as he had been in previous story plots, but things were going to be different now. Yes, Haku didn't realize it, but fate had something very special in store for him now, feeling that he had suffered enough already. While walking down the bath house floors, Haku heard a voice calling to him, but in a more 'actually there' voice, and not the typical , 'you're a psycopath who's hearing nothing, so pay attention to me' voice. His attention was drawn by some stange force from the closet. He opened the door to find a bucket with very mysterious, shifty eyes.

Bucket: Good, you have come here at last. I have a mission for you, Haku.

Haku: Crap, you're the first bucket I ever met with eyes before.

Bucket: ... you dumbass. Bucket's don't have eyes. You are simply imagining them because you're weird.

Haku: Oh yeah, I forgot about that!

Bucket: Yes, you must do a very important, life threatening task for me.

Haku: Why?

Bucket: *ponders for a moment* I don't know.... you just do.

Haku: Oh okay.

Bucket: I'm glad you're so easily persuaded to throw your life away... Anywho, I need you to go off to far off lands and find for me, the mayonnaise maker of justice!

Haku: What's it for?

Bucket: Making jam and cucumbers... you know, your everyday remedies.

Haku: Right on.

Bucket: Of course, you will want people to come with you on your journey, so I have summoned the radish spirit and Rin to help you.

Haku: Wait... I already killed them.

Bucket: Did you, did you really? Are you sure? Before you answer, remember you are utterley insane, talk to inanimate objects, and get into fights with things that don't even exist. Can you be sure that you really killed them?

Rin: Oh no, he stabbed me with scissors all right.

Haku: So you are dead! HAH!! WHO'S ALL KNOWING NOW?!!!

Bucket: It's sad that you're comparing your knowledge to that of a bucket's

Haku: Just out of curiosity... if Rin's dead, then how can she be standing here?

Bucket: She isn't. It's all in your head.

Haku: ... great... So, if she's part of my imagination, then wouldn't you be too? You know, being a bucket and all.

Bucket: Are you saying buckets don't exist? Well I say they do, dammit! Why, if it weren't for my great great grandfather, Scrubbicus Bucketicus the Third, you're silly little bathouse wouldn't have ever learned the meaning of soap suddy water!!

Haku: That's... er... an awful interesting history you've got there.

Bucket: Now then, since you are questioning your imagination, I have a question for you. You say you know what does and does not exist, but do you exist, or are you just an imagination from your head?

Haku: But I never said I knew what does and doesn't exist!

Bucket: Well I say you did, so shut up.

Haku: I don't know the answer to your question, for it's rather choppy and hard to follow.

Bucket: The answer lies within the mayonnaise maker! Seek it out, and learn all.

Haku: You really want that thing bad, huh?

Bucket: Dude, I'm a bucket. What the hell would I want a mayonnaise maker for?

Haku: .... a love muffin?

Bucket: No... *shifty eyes*

Haku: Right, I will go on this quest, obtain the mayonnaise maker of... stuff, and claim what is rightfully mine!

Bucket: Which is nothing.

Haku: Oh yeah... that really sucks.... IT DOESN'T MATTER!! I WILL NEVER BE OBNOXIOUSLY BORED AGAIN, or at least until tomorrow, or whenever I get back.

And so, our hero then ventured forth to find the mayonnaise maker of... *scrolls up real fast* justice, yeah that's it, and find the answers to his ever complicated questions that cannot be answered by any average messed up being. For a sane person, though, it would be fairly easy, but Haku doesn't fall under the category of sane, now does he? So, now he must get together his possessions and venture forth on his quest!!!

THE NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW!!! (started making this to fill you all with antici............................... pation)

Haku is off gathering his stuff, which is practically nothing, getting people to come along with him on this journey, and find the right 'provisions' for his trip. The name of this next, life pending chapter is 'My Love of Butter and Parmesian,' but i'll probably change it, seeing as how these two condements have nothing to do with the next chapter... I just want spaghetti... so wait for the next chapter that probably won't go by the next chapter's title and will be made up on the spot. You won't want to miss it!