Sorry bout taking so long. I was off on an exchange program in Japan, so I haven't been able to get any new stuff up for a while (Miyazaki Fan sounded quite pissed). Anywho, I came back and my mom's pissed cuz I didn't take as many pics as she wanted, didn't write enough, and didn't do enough of this or that. Then my dad's mad cuz he always has to back up my ma, and my sis is mad cuz she complains she doesn't see her boyfriend often enough. Yeah, so I came back to a living hell, and I want to go back... yeah, life sux here. Anywho, in other news, I spent about $500 on a PS2, a few games, and a couple new anime series. Yes, by broadening my horizons, I will now be able to write screwed up fics in many other categories (such as Weiss Kruez). Anway, now that y'all know what's been going on and why I had such a long delay, onto the intro!

I was motivated to write this installment because... I dunno, I was bored and I felt like it. Also, my playstation has been pilfered by my butt munch sister *grumble grumble* I tell her, "GET YOUR ASS OFF MY CRAP YOU CAKA POOPOO!" and she's all, "NO CUZ I'M A BITCH WHO FEELS YOU MUST SUFFER!" Of course, I, in reality, was able to do jack shit, but in my mind I painted the scene that SHOULD have happened. *imagination sequence*

Me: IMA KILL YOU!!!

Evil Sister: YEAH, KISS MY ASS!!!

Me: NO CUZ IT'S DIRTY!

ES: HA! EVEN IN YOUR IMAGINATION YOU'RE A MORON!

Me: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

ES: UH HUH!

Me: WELL I DON"T CARE! DIE!!!! *kills ES*

*end imagination sequence* Yes, that's the way it should be, but isn't cuz otherwise I'd be put into jail, and get crappy food for the rest of my life. Yah, now due to the process of elimination, I have decided such a thing would totally bite, therefore my antichrist of a sibling must remain in this ungodly world. Now that you have heard my story of action, love, deception, heartache, grief, struggle, and triumph, lets go to something that people actually care about. Onto the long awaited coming of the second installment for this ever stupifying story known as...

HAKU SAGA!!!

Haku ran up to his room, looking for his possessions which must be packed. He kind of ignored the fact he owned jack shit, and freaked out once he opened the door.

Haku: SOMEBODY'S STOLEN MY STUFF!!!!!!

Yep, Haku was quite frantic as he ran around the bath house, searching for any clues to the whereabouts of his nonexistent missing stuff. He realized he would not be able to locate his belongings on his own, for he was such a helpless power source, and went off to find somebody that might be able to help him.

Haku: SOMEBODY FIND MY STUFF!!!

Voice: I'll help you, oh mindless sexy one!

Haku turned to find none other than a very mysterious bottle of mustard staring back at him in attention.

Haku: So... you're gonna find me shit eh?

Mustard: Yes, me and my friend, the audacious salt shaker can locate your possessions for you.

Haku: ... do you know the bucket by any chance?

Mustard: *gasp* You have spoken with HIM?!

Haku: With who?

Mustard: Don't act stupid! You said you met the great and powerful bucket of the bath house!

Haku: Yeah, but he was really rude and said that I was psycho, and that he and all of the other talking inanimate objects were just a product of my imagination.

Mustard: Er... yeah, that's kinda true there kiddo.

Haku: I'm not messed up in the head I'M NOT!!!

Mustard: Sure... Anyway, what I want to know is why the bucket was speaking to you.

Haku: *bitter* 'Cuz apparently I'm crazy...

Mustard: Yes yes, besides that.

Haku; He said that I have to go on a quest for a mayonnaise maker or something.

Mustard: *double gasp* THE SACRED MAYONNAISE MAKER??!!!

Haku: Was it sacred? I can't remember... (Obviously the author doesn't either)

Mustard: Well, no matter. If you are on a quest to find such a magical, powerful item, then I MUST help you!

Haku: Why is it so great, other than the fact it makes worthless junk that no one needs?

Mustard: Actually... that's about it!

Haku: Oh... And why hasn't your salt shaker friend said anything yet?

Mustard: Oh come off it man! I mean, have you ever heard of of salt shaker talking?! Quite impossible, I dare say!

Haku: I guess so.

Mustard: Nah, my friend here don't talk, but he's great for a jolly game of backgammon!

Haku: How do you play?

Mustard: I dunno. Why do you think he beats me so often?

Haku: You know... you aren't the most motivational imaginary character, are you?

Mustard: Oh shut up! Now on to finding that there crap you're missing. Please describe your posessions to my salty assistant.

Salt Shaker: *takes out notepad*

Haku: Well, it was a... thing, and it was sort of an.. air color, and it doesn't make sound.

Musard: Ah, I see. May I have your deduction, Mr. Salt?

Salt Shaker: *hands him notepad*

Mustard: Hmmm... so someone has stolen your scooter. No worries, We'll get it back for you!

Haku: So that's what I lost... This whole time I couldn't remember...

Mustard: Yes yes, no need to thank us. Now, we must head off in search of the missing item!

The mustard bottle and the salt shaker then ran off out of site. Haku, happy to know what he had lost (even though he hadn't) decided he would go off and celebrate with a nummy tuna sandwich with ice cream on top. Little did he know what would await him there...

Yeah, I'm leaving it there because, obviously, I'm not very motivated right now. Don't worry, I promise I'll try to actually make it funny next chapter. This one just came out kind of badly. Anyway, yeah, the game music from my television distracts me. Next time I'll make sure my sister is locked in a straight jacket and unable to reach my beloved console. Until then though, I shall retire. Ja!