Author's Notes: Greetings my friends! It's been a long time in coming I know! I heartily apologize! Being busy +having writers block does not make for the quick writing of chapters! SORRY!!!!! But I digress. You can prolly expect the next chapter up on Wed. at the latest...

And a great big hearty THANK YOU!!!!! To all our wonderful reviewers! I really appreciate them all.....not to mention they tempt me to skip homework and work on the nice story instead...*wink wink*

Lynne: Our first reviewer...Yay! Thanks! You deserve a prize! I'd like to think that it's getting better as stuff actually starts to happen...what do you think?

Burning Ice: You and your friends sound like my kind of people! Most of my friends (with the exception of the ones in the story of course ^_-) think LotR is stupid and/or not worth obsessing over...(Tsk tsk Tara!) Thanks so much for reviewing!

Analiya: Thanks for reviewing! I'm terribly sorry,  but Kerri's rather attached to Lego...As you'll soon see! ^_^ I'd hate to be responsible if you should be injured in attempting to come between them... ;-P 

Valia: Yeah, I know the first chapters just kinda...there. But it is needed to explain what the hey is going on later! ^_^ I hope this chapter has enough "stuff" happening for you!

Chapter 2: Of Mischief and Mayhem and "Loopiness"

A few hours later the girls were beginning to realize that trampling through the wilderness was not as easy as the Fellowship made it look.

"I'm beginning to think I know why Peter Jackson left the whole traveling part out of the movie..." Marcie muttered bitterly

"Tell me about it..."

"Ack."

They had been walking for hours and had just reached the Loudwater. The trio was currently sitting on some rocks beside the rushing river trying to decide the best way to cross. The water only came up to mid-thigh or so, but the current was extremely strong.

"I wish we had a horse..." Kerry mumbled

"Yeah. Where's good 'ol Asfaloth when you need him anyway?"

"Ack." Colleen muttered disgustedly "Arwen's probably off stealing him, and hitting poor Glorfindel over the head..."

"That reminds me," Marcie said, "Are we in the book-verse or the movie- verse?"

"A little of both." Colleen answered, "See, We're kinda in my version."

"Oh dear." Kerry voiced "Why don't I like the sound of this..."

"No! It's all good! It follows the book pretty closely with all the really cool stuff from the movie! There's just a few subtle differences"

"Colleen, you wouldn't know subtle if it hit you over the head"

"Um...you realize that's an oxymoron Marcie..." Kerri corrected.

"Shut up! Whatever...So just what kind of "differences" are there anyway?"

"Oh, nothing big...Aragorn's not devoted to Arwen, just a passing fancy that can be easily....eliminated. *slightly evil laughter*."

"I like the sound of that" Marcie grinned

"I rather thought you might! Also, Gandalf and Sauroman don't have such big noses...and of course Boromir and Faramir are considerably better looking." she finished in a rush.

"Ah. I see...Boromir, huh Colleen?"

"Well, you've got Lego, Marcie's got Aragorn...and I won't meet Faramir till the third book, and even then he'll be in a coma... so I need someone to look at while we're trudging around Moria and such!" Her staunch defense caused her friends to giggle, causing her to blush. "Ack! Well, in other news, anyone got any ideas how to get across this here river?"

"Um...we could...um...Hey! We could use them there great big flat stones! You know, jump from one to the other all the way across..." Marcie suggested

"Rather convenient, don't ya think? I'd suspect a little tweaking of the plot Colleen..."

"Shush! I needed a way to get us across! Jer didn't have any ideas either..."

"Whatever! Does it really matter?" Marcie interrupted, "We've got to get to Rivendell! Let's go already!"

Heading their friends' advice Colleen and Kerry picked up their packs and made their way to the edge of the river. Tentatively they began to cross.

*-*-*

A half an hour and a few soaked girls later they were gasping on the eastern shore of the Loudwater. They had left the forest behind and now faced the beginnings of the fabled Misty Mountains. They were at that moment straining to see across the landscape to catch a glimpse of the fabled House of Elrond.

"Ack! I don't see anything!!"

"Does she say 'Ack' every time she speaks?" Kerry murmured softly to Marcie.

"I guess she decided she needed a catch-phrase"

Louder, Marcie asked "Why don't we just get going? We can see it when we get there."

"Good point" Kerry responded "But remember guys, we'll have to be awfully careful, there's bound to be plenty of watchful elves about."

"Not the way Colleen's writing this there won't be..." Marcie muttered softly to herself. "It's not like she'd kill us, and to heck with being realistic..."

"Ack! I heard that Marcie! This is fan fiction! It's not supposed to be realistic! I mean, look around! I've practically turned us all into perfect little Mary-Sues! Bear with me here, I'm trying to do this well, I really am! I dunked us in the river didn't I? That's strife and realistic problems!...However, I think we're in luck! It seems to me that all the elves are probably too busy with the upcoming Council to notice us!"

Marcie sighed but said nothing further. After all, it wasn't as if she minded an easy entrance!

*-*-*

But it was not to be an easy entrance after all. Perhaps Colleen was feeling guilty about the simplicity at which they had proceeded so far. Crossing the banks or the Loudwater proved only to be the first step in finding the fabled Imladris. They had somehow become lost in the endless stretch of land. There seemed to be no trees and no valleys and no hills to break the ground in front of them, only one bast slope going slowly up and up to meet the feet of the nearest mountain, a wide land the color of heather and crumbling rock, with patches and slashes of grass-green and moss-green showing where water might be. Indeed the land was treacherous, harboring steep ravines and loathsome bogs.

"Ugh! I don't remember them mentioning any of this in LotR!" Marcie said with a shudder

"That's cause they only describe the flight to the ford...Now where the hell is it?!?!"

"Ack! Check the map Kerri!"

"I am! We should be right on top of it by now!"

"They don't call it the "hidden valley" for nothing..." Marcie growled.

"Hee hee! You just made a salad dressing reference! Now, hold on guys, I'm gonna check 'The Hobbit' Bilbo and the dwarves went to Rivendell right?" With that Colleen bent down and opened her pack. Removing a large stack of pixie-sticks she rummaged for a few moments before extracting the book. Thumbing through the pages she could be heard to mutter "Rivendell...Rivendell...." before "Ah huh!" She handed the book to Kerri.

"Blah blah blah..." Kerri read "Oh! Here we go...'The only path was marked with white stones, some of which were small, and others half covered with moss and heather.' Perfect!" With that the girls got on their hands and knees and began searching for white stones.

"I've got one!" cried Marcie.

"Me too!" exclaimed Kerri, who was about 10 yards behind Marcie. Colleen came over to inspect. Indeed, the two girls had both discovered smooth white stones about the size of a fist. In fact, Colleen could see that there was a trail leading from Kerri's stone to Marcie's.

"This is it!" she announced.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Kerri asked in excitement.

The three girls eagerly began to follow the track, and it was not to long before Kerri stopped suddenly. Marcie and Colleen, however, had unfortunately been following rather close behind and slammed into Kerri's' back. This, of course, sent the three of them tumbling end over end down the steep walls of the valley. It was indeed an amusing sight. The girls I'm sure did not think so.

"Ouchies...."

"Ohhh...Owwww..."

"Ack! Pain! Oh the pain..."

"It looks so much easier when the hobbits do it!" Kerri announced darkly.

"Maybe that's cause they were only falling down a little ravine-thing! Look how far we fell!" All the girls looked up to find that they had indeed fallen far. In fact they were nearly to the valley floor.

"So much for skulking..." Colleen muttered. "It's a good thing no ones around! So has anyone figured out exactly when in the story we are?"

Marcie looked at her watch. "It is ten o' clock on the morning. It is the morning of October the twenty-fourth if you want to know."

"Just when Frodo's waking up..." Colleen muttered in awe

"But we've been traveling all day! How did we....10:30? In the morning? Never mind. I'm not even gonna ask." Kerri murmured. Colleen flashed her a grin.

"Let's just get going! And can we sneak this time please?" Marcie questioned.

"All right! Let's go!"

They set off creeping through the numerous oaks and beeches, all the while in breathless wonder. They encountered no elves in their trek, whether it was because of their supreme skulking skills, the lack of diligence among the elves, or a plot device of the author...none can say. ^_-

Emerging from the foliage the girls got their first good look at the House of Elrond. Gasps could be heard all around.

"Seems like we've been gasping an awful lot today..." Colleen noted

"Can you blame us?! This place is gorgeous! We're IN Middle Earth! We have a right to be amazed and astounded!" Kerri defended.

"I can NOT believe we're really here! Its sooo amazing! It's just....just... unglaublich!" Marcie was saying.

"Unbelievable." Colleen piped up in response to the blank look on Kerri's face. "We have a tendency to slip into German...Frau Chane has been drilling it into our heads this week."

"Ah." Kerri responded "Stupid school...Hey! We don't have to deal with that anymore! Yes! No more stupid Latin prefixes for me! I always thought they should offer elvish instead..." she trailed off.

"Yay! No more GYM!" Colleen exulted.

"No, now we have to tramp through the wilderness for 10 hours a day." Marcie amended.

"Yeah, but I don't have to run anymore!"

"What about when we go to rescue Merry and Pippin?"

"Well...No more fitness tests! Or Ms. Calahan! Or disturbing health classes where they tell you you'll prolly become a druggie or an alcoholic or get pregnant...or failing all that, you'll get schizophrenia."

"True!"

"Well, as much as I'm all for reveling in the fact that school is gone, why don't we go celebrate inside? I mean, they're going to be having a party at Elrond's in a couple hours..." Kerri suggested. She was rewarded by grins from her two friends.

"I wonder what Elvish parties are like?" Marcie wondered

"According to Tolkien it was fun but relatively tame...I mean, they sang and stuff but they were all proper and junk" Colleen answered.

"Well then we'll just have to liven it up a bit won't we?" Mischievous grins spread all around. They were fairly squirming in anticipation. If one looked closely they could probably see the gears turning in their brains, coming up with all sorts of sneaky plots.

"Let's go then!" They took off racing for the Last Homely House. The elves would have shuddered and locked the doors up tight if they had any inkling of what was to come. But luckily for the girls and not so luckily for the hapless elves they remained blissfully unaware until it was too late. The girls disappeared inside a window on the first floor and immediately began making trouble.

*_*_*

"So, I figure, we've got about 5 hours or so until they begin the feast." Kerri stated

"Plenty of time to mess with people!" Colleen exclaimed.

"Quite right. So where do we want to start?"

"Let's start with Arwen!" Marcie suggested, a feral gleam in her eyes. Her friends thought it wise to cooperate.

"Sounds good to me Marc. Any idea which way her room would be?"

After much searching they managed to find what they believed to be Arwens' room. It just screamed "Unavailable, aloof elf princess. Going to the wardrobe they found a few of the dresses that they recognized from her part in the movie.

"This has got to be it" Colleen said

"Right....so now what do we do?" Kerri asked.

"Hmm..." Marcie began "Why don't we...." she leaned over and whispered to her partners in crime, who acquired rather evil smiles on their faces. The girls wasted no time in setting to work.

*_*_*

"Alright, about three hours to go and we still haven't found the wine cellar." Kerri muttered

"And we REALLY want to find the wine cellar!" Marcie added.

"After all, " Colleen continued "Elven parties are simply too dull. That elven wine stuff is far too mellow!"

A few moments later the girls came to a large oaken door with a padlock. They shot each other questioning glances. Could this be it? Eager to find out, Kerri extracted the blow torch and welders helmet from her pack. She merely shrugged in response to her friends raised eyebrows as if to say, "Well, it came in handy didn't it?" 

Colleen and Marcie took their place as look outs on either end of the hallway. They heard the torch ignite and a minute later Kerri's yell of triumph. They spun around and ran to join her. When they got there they saw Kerri lifting the broken padlock out of the way. She swung the doors open to reveal a large set of stars, descending into darkness. Colleen was already on her knees looking for the flashlights and Marcie was giving Kerri a high-five.

Cautiously the girls began to descend the stairs trying not to make a sound. After many stairs and what seemed like hours they found themselves in a torch lit room with stacks and stacks of wine bottles.

"Look!" Marcie yelled in a hushed whisper "They've got the ones for tonight's party all set aside and marked!"

"They're making this too easy!" Kerri said with a mischievous grin.

Meanwhile, Colleen had been prowling around the darker corners of the cellar. "Viola!" they heard her exclaim. Heading towards the noise they found her hefting a large earthen-ware bottle.

"What's that?" Marcie questioned.

"Hee hee.....Dwarven spirits! Only the most potent alcohol known to man!" The girls developed evil grins and glints in their eyes. They each grabbed as many bottles as possible, and lugged them back to the wine for the party. Working quickly they each uncorked, and poured out half of a bottle of wine. Then they refilled the half empty wine bottles with the spirits, re-corked them, and placed them back where they got them. Soon, they had done this to all the wine.

"Just wait till the elves have a couple glasses of this!" Kerri exclaimed. "This is gonna be FUN!"

"Hehehe....Now, last stop, Elrond's kitchen! Got that Cajon spice powder stuff Marcie?"

"Right here!" she replied tapping her pocketsss.

*_*_*

It was a short time later, and the girls were heading to the feasting room in order to find good hiding spots. As they crept down the corridor, they heard raised voices speaking rapidly in Elvish. Ever curious, the crept toward the half-open door a few feet down the hall. By this time in their lives they had been obsessed for many years. They'd taken weapons classes, read every Tolkien novel, and grown nearly proficient in the use of the languages of Middle Earth, a fact that they were enormously proud of. Kerri had mastered Sindarin, and Marcie Quenya. Colleen knew a spattering of both along with a bit of Dwarvish, but she had focused on the languages of men; namely Rohirric and the old language of Gondor. The point, of course, is that between the three of them they could understand most anyone in Middle Earth may say. Arwen and Elrond, for that was indeed who was arguing, were speaking Sindarin so Kerri whispered translations as the three crouched outside the door eavesdropping.

"Look at this father! Look at my dresses! There are HOLES in the back of all of them!"

"I don't know what to tell you daughter. I certainly didn't do it! I think you need to calm down, Arwen."

"Calm down!?!? Calm down?!?!? There are large holes in the butts of all my dresses!!!!!! ARRRRGGG!!! Whoever did this is going to pay! When I get my hands on them...What am I supposed to wear to the feast?!?!"

"You could wear that old dress from a couple ages ago...it doesn't look to be vandalized..."

"THAT!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!" (The dress in question was a relic from the most horrible period of elven fashion and was extremely hideous.) The eavesdroppers could here objects being thrown through the air, and a moment later Elrond came fleeing out the door, followed by a strange looking bottle. So great was his haste that he did not even notice the girls. Arwen slammed her door, just as Kerri leapt out of hiding, and caught the bottle. Hefting it in her hand she remarked, "Heavy," and placed it in her pack. It was probably just some kind of elven hair product, but who knew when it might come in handy?

"Arwen is such a spaz!" Marcie exclaimed.

"No kidding! Can you say psycho? But if we don't hurry we're gonna be late for the feast! Shall we go?" Colleen asked.

"Lets" Kerri answered, and with that the girls began sneaking down the hallway.

*_*_*

It was later that evening, and the feast was just beginning. Our heroes were hiding on the support beams criss-crossing the ceiling. They had a bird's eye view of the entire room. They had already nearly choked when Arwen walked in wearing the one dress they didn't destroy. "She looks like a medieval clown whore!" Marcie had remarked. Currently,  Marcie and Kerri were busy drooling . (They were positioned just above Aragorn and Legolas respectively)  and Colleen was rubbing her hands together in anticipation of the amusement to come. All three collectively held their breath as the first dish was brought out. They saw the entire assembly, elves, men, dwarves and of course hobbits take the first bite almost simultaneously. And nearly collapsed in a fit of giggles as they saw the guests face begin to turn odd shades of red.

"Oh my god!" Colleen gasped. "LOOK at Elrond's' face! And Gandalf! Oh dear lord, look at Gandalf!!!" she was turning blue and there were tears streaming from her eyes in an effort not to burst into gales of laughter.

"LOOK! Look at Legolas! Oh gods! Oh gods!" Kerri was clenching her fists and biting her lip in order not to expose them with a fit of giggles.

"Check out Aragorn! Oh gawd! This is hilarious don't cha know!" Marcie had reverted to a Minnesota accent in her effort to keep from succumbing to the laughter that shook her frame.

In a moment the room burst into exclamations, curses and oaths. The girls began to laugh uncontrollably and could not be heard above the din. Only after long minutes did they finally get control of themselves. Which was lucky, as Elrond had just called the guests to order.

"If this is what you call elven hospitality..."one man began before Elrond silenced him with a wave of the hand.

"Who was that?" Kerri questioned as Elrond went on to apologize profusely.

"That would be Boromir" Colleen answered looking (or rather staring) at the man.

"But...but...he's hot!" Marcie announced.

"I'm well aware!" Colleen replied with a mischievous grin, "I told  you guys he would be! I need someone to look before we get to Minas Tirith! And even then, poor Faramir's gonna be in a coma! *sigh*"

"We didn't realize you were gonna make him that attractive!"

"What's wrong with that?" Colleen asked, another silly grin playing on her lips.

"Hey!" Kerri suddenly whispered fiercely, "What's that?" They all turned to where she was pointing. It seemed to them from this distance that there was a shadowy figure crouched under Frodo's chair.

"Do you think it's a bad guy?" Colleen asked.

"Maybe it's the shadow of the ring?" Marcie suggested.

"Maybe...." Kerri mused. "But something tells me it's not normal...that it doesn't belong...." Both other girls said that they were getting similar vibes, but the trio put it out of their heads, as there was nothing they could do at the moment.

By this time the feast was well under way. The girls observed for a while but soon became bored. Their doctored wine hadn't kicked in yet and everything was pretty dull. Until Elrond called them all to adjoin into the Hall of Fire. At a length, the whole of the guests had left, and no one was paying attention to the dining hall any longer. It was only thus that the girls dared descend from their lofty hiding place. Carefully they made their way to the floor and crouched there edging toward the doors which had been flung open. Darting inside they soon made there way to a corner where they would not be found.

"Wow." Kerri said admiring her surroundings.

"I know!" Colleen yelled in a hushed whisper, "Elrond has nice corners!"

Towards this time the elven wine began taking hold. The elves were becoming noticeably loopy and the girls were becoming highly amused.

Towards this time the elven wine began taking hold. The elves were becoming noticeably loopy and the girls were becoming highly amused. Just as it seemed that Haldir (who is visiting with a couple Lorien elves) and Glorfindel were about to get in a fist fight, a cold shudder went through the room. The heads of the girls snapped simultaneously towards Frodo, just in time to see him put away the ring. However, they were also in time to catch a glimpse of a shadowy figure retreating back into the gloom.

"Hark! The dastardly shadowy figure hath struck again!" Colleen exclaimed.

"In all seriousness, though guys I'm getting a little worried. Do you think we should go confront this thing?" Kerri questioned.

"Well, it seems to be following Frodo…" Marcie stated. "But I don't think we ought to confront it just yet. I mean, it could be a servant of Sauron or something and it could get awfully messy. We'll look for it tomorrow when there's nobody around to see us. In the meantime it doesn't seem to be doing him any harm…."

"True" Kerri replied "I almost thought it was going to try and make him put the ring away. Well, either that or it was going to try and steal it, but.…"

"Well, we'll look for it after the Council tomorrow. But for now, I'm glad that's all settled!" Colleen grinned, "Cause now were can watch the elves make fools of themselves without worry! Speaking of which, check out Glorfindel and Haldir!" The two elves were no longer about to come to blows. Instead they were embracing each other like brothers and slapping each other on the back. Suddenly they leapt onto the table and began to dance and sing.

"Oh Gil-Gilad was an elven king…"

The crowd of "loopy" elves began cheering them on.

"Those are NOT the words to that song!" Kerri exclaimed as the elves began singing a rather naughty verse.

"Maybe they are and Tolkien just changed them to make the book kid- friendly" Marcie suggested. Kerry looked at her agape, refusing to believe any such thing.

"They're profaning the song!" Her horror turned to astonishment however, when Haldir pulled Legolas atop the table. If she herself was not so surprised, Colleen would have laughed at he bugged out eyes and gaping mouth of her friend. It was clear that Kerri was riveted on the scene before her. It was also clear that Legolas was severely affected by the concoction that the girls had created. He was displaying many tell-tale signs of the "loopiness" that was beginning to show in the elves, nay, in all of the guests. He seemed to reel when he walked as thought his superb elven balance was failing him. He also appeared to be having difficulty speaking in coherent sentences. He was standing upon the table with a confused statement on his face, as if he didn't quite know what he was doing there. Suddenly a female voice rang out from the crowd, calling to him in Sindarin. Kerri gasped and looked as though she might faint.

"Ker? Kerri!!! What's wrong?" Colleen asked frantically, worried at her friend's reaction to the words. "I managed to decipher something about clothes and it being hot in here, but...." She trailed off as she realized just what the voice had called for. "Oh dear..." It soon became clear to the rest of the party as the elf dazedly (is that a word?) began to remove his tunic. If not for the quick actions of Marcie and Colleen Kerri would have collapsed. Supporting her friend by the elbow, Marcie was beginning to become afraid that the obsessed girls' eyes would pop out of her head, or that she would drown in her own drool. It was then that she realized that Kerri had stopped breathing from sheer shock and delight.

"Kerri!!!!" she cried, smacking her friend on the back, "Breath!" Kerri sucked in some air, but didn't take her eyes off the spectacle before her. Now, anyone familiar with Lord of the Rings knows that this was something that Legolas simply would not do. This speaks both for the potency of the girls "special elf juice" and Kerri's utter astonishment. It was just as the elf had finished removing his shirt and tunic that a commotion arose on the other side of the room. The half-nude elf was forgotten as everyone turned their attention to Aragorn and Arwen. It seemed as though they had gotten into a small lovers spat. Well, a full fledged feud may be a more apt description. The "loopy" elf looked confusedly (again, does this word exist?) in their direction before toppling from the table. Kerri immediately sprang from the corner to his side, not even bothering to see if anyone was watching. After a moment, Marcie and Colleen joined her. Ascertaining that he had merely passed out, they forcibly dragged Kerri away from his inert body to the other side of the Hall of Fire, to listen to the feud. No one noticed them, the guests were far too interested in this new entertainment.

".......know you were the one who told poor Legolas to take off his clothes!" were the first words that met their ears.

"So what if I did? At least Legolas bathes, Mister There-are-no-showers-in- the-wilderness!"

"There ARE no showers in the wilderness! And at least I don't spend every waking minute before a mirror! Unlike some cold, aloof elven Princesses I know! And what on Middle Earth prompted you to wear that dress?"

"Ahhhrrrggg!!!!!!" Arwen shrieked in rage. "What do I need you for?! You're just gonna up and die on me anyway! Glorfindel is twice the man you are! GLORFINDEL! Get your butt over here!" she roared. Glorfindel looked like he would have rather been facing a Balrog as she marched toward him.

A momentary look of pain flashed across Aragorn's noble visage, but it was gone in an instant. Indeed, it may be that only the fan-girls noticed it. Gathering his pride, he strode out of the Hall of Fire dignifiedly. The trio quickly retreated to the corner and the safety of the shadows as the crowd began to break apart.

"That bitch!" Marcie exclaimed. "Did you see the look on poor Aragorn's face?!?!"

"Yeah," Kerri answered, "That remark about dying must have cut deep."

"Poor guy..." Colleen murmured, "Well, don't worry Marc, I'm sure you'll come up with some way to get revenge." The light that grew in Marcie's' eyes made Colleen shudder and immediately regret her words.

*_*_*

It was some time much later and the party had finally broken up. Or passed out is more like it. A few of the inebriated guests had made it back to their rooms, but most were laying in heaps around the Hall of Fire snoring loudly. Kerri and Colleen were eagerly discussing what mischief they could get into with unconscious victims and Marcie was pacing broodingly. Suddenly an evil grin spread across her face.

"I just had a brilliant idea!" she announced "I'm going to go pay a little visit to Arwen (who had made it back to her room with a terrified Glorfindels assistance) You guys have fun with your crazy plans..." With that she was gone before either Kerri or Colleen had a chance to stop her. They looked at each other and shrugged. After-all, Arwen did deserve it... Removing various items (some notables being: neon pink hair dye, scissors, duct tape, and make-up) from their packs they set about causing mischief on the poor defenseless party guests.

*_*_*

The shadowy figure was perched at Frodo's bedside. It mistrusted the House of Elrond. Something here was amiss it knew; elven wine was not so potent and it was unlike Elrond's cooks to so badly botch a meal. Not to mention that it thought it saw something perched on the rafters during the feast and then again in a shadowy corner in the Hall of Fire. 'No matter' It thought, as it watched Frodo's peaceful slumber. It had protected him all the way from the Shire, and It was not about to stop now.

The shadowy figure froze, hearing footsteps, but it was only a few "loopy" elves trying to find their rooms. It had considered searching out whatever was lurking in The Last Homely House, but it had decided to wait until after the Council. Which would probably be taking place much later in the day due to the incredible hang-overs the elves were going to have.

The shadowy figure sighed and renewed its vigil. Nothing was going to disturb Its beloved Frodo this night.

*_*_*

Jeremiah woke up with a sharp pain in his skull. Only to open his eyes and find himself in a tiny enclosed space.

"Ahhhh!" he cried, thrashing about, and causing a door to open, releasing him from his prison. He tumbled out of the small space to find himself inside a large machine with dials and buttons and blinking lights all around.

"Buttons..." he murmured reaching out to touch one before he regained his senses. Shaking his head he tried to figure out where he was. Suddenly it all rushed back to him. He had gone down to the basement in search of some rope, when he discovered RFD2. Intrigued he had slapped the only button on the exterior. (Yes, he too enjoys slapping buttons...especially bright shiny ones) To his surprise, a door had opened with a hiss. Cautiously making his way inside the metal bohemoth, he had looked around in amazement wondering what on earth it could be. It dawned on him when he saw a  copy of RotK that this must be Colleens...thing. He had been just about to push a shiny red button (NO Jer no!) when he heard voices on the stairwell. Instead he slapped a blue button that was nearer to him. A tiny door slid open at his feet. He got down on his knees and crawled in to hide. The door slid shut behind him. It was then that he realized he was trapped. He heard muffled voices inside and a large smacking sound and POOF! All of a sudden the world began to spin around. He knocked his head against the wall, and that was all he remembered.

Reflecting on it now he was surprised he didn't suffocate. Looking around he tried to figure out how to get  out of the big metal thingy. He decided to slap a large urple (yes Urple) button. A drawer slid open from near his feet. In it was a sword, a couple of daggers and a bow and arrow. (He found our spare weapons drawer). With a muted cry of surprise he bent down to inspect them. He hefted the sword finding it overly heavy for him, but he swung it around experimentally. He had started out weapons classes with Colleen and her friends, but had dropped out in favor of horseback riding. He was reasonably proficient with the bow and knew the rudiments of sword and dagger work.

But just then, he was wondering why on EARTH Colleen had a drawer full of pointy objects in her big metal thing. Or for that matter why Colleen had a big metal thingy. Or where the hey that big metal thingy was. Cause he judged by the bird songs that it wasn't in his basement anymore. Wait a minute! BIRD songs? It was December! There WERE no birds in Massachusetts. Frantically he slapped a large orange button. The wall he was leaning on suddenly disappeared from behind him and he fell flat on his back.

Looking up at the trees he felt to see if there was a lump on his head. Wait a minute! Trees!?!?!? Looking around, and finding himself in the middle of a forest he groaned.

"I'm in trouble much...."

TO BE CONTINUED.........