OMG. its been such a long long time since I've updated this story! Oh well. I'm back, and ready for a new season of Hyrule's favorite game show!

Whose Triforce is it anyways?

*music comes on as the camera fades into focus. In a dark room, 3 spotlights narrow in on a lone figure sitting in the middle of the audience. A sole spotlight highlights the figure on the stage. It isn't Rauru. or Ruto. or even human it looks like? What could this thing be?*

Link: Mystic! We've had this discussion before! NO TINGLE!

Mystic: But its not him I swear!

Zelda: Would you just let her continue with the fic already?

Link: Who let you back here anyway?

Ruto: Who let you into Soul Calibur 2, pussy?

*Ruto and Zelda high-5 each other. leaving everyone else in awe*

Ganon: Did they just.

Malon: Are they really.

Nabooru: There's no way they are.

Ruto: OW!! Hey princess priss! You hit me with the Triforce hand!

Zelda: Well maybe your hired writers can protect you next time! I was wondering where you got that line!

Ruto: And next time your pimp can help you hold. me back!!!

*Ruto goes after Zelda's hair, pulling it strenuously. Both girls start at it. and the lights haven't even gone on yet!*

Ganon: You guys can really stop that. anytime.

Nabooru: Does this mean I get to be on the show?

Malon: Me too

Ruto & Zelda: NO!

Mystic: If you two don't stop figh.

*instantly both girls jump off of each other and straighten out their dresses/skin*

Link: um. hello? We have an unrevealed host over there that is scaring me to death!

Mystic: oh right. well take it away host!

*music comes on as the camera fades into focus. In a dark room, 3 spotlights narrow in on a lone figure sitting in the middle of the audience. A sole spotlight highlights the figure on the stage.*

Host: Itttttssssss.. Whose Triforce is it anyways! This week we're featuring. Ocarina of time's Link! Hyrule's beautiful princess Zelda! Zora princess Ruto! And of course the king of all evil, Gannondorf!

*the lights spotlight all of them as their name is called. leaving the host still unrevealed*

Link: Wait. this can't be right!

Zelda: Yeah, he's being too nice!

Ganon: I dunno. I like that introduction bwhahahahahaha!

Ruto: Oh god. stop with the wussy evil laugh again.

Ganon: You father will explode in 5.4.3.2..

Ruto: Okay Okay!! Macho, awesome, horrible, evil laugh.

Ganon: *pats Ruto on the head* Good little fish.

Ruto: WHAT?? That's it I'm gonna.

Ganon: 1 ¾. 1 ½..

Ruto: By the goddesses. I hate you.

Ganon: *right in Ruto's ear* BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Zelda: Aw. want me to get my pimp to beat him up for you Ruto?

Ruto: No. he's out back screwing your homo father right now!

Zelda: Oh yeah! Well he couldn't even find your father's di.

Link: I thought I told you guys to stop that joke!

Ruto & Zelda: DON'T INTERRUPT US!!!!

Link: But what about the host.?

Zelda: Oh right. guess we should get on with the game. who is he?

*a cel shaded figure walks onto the now lighted stage, facing away from the actors. It's Cel Link from Wind Waker!*

Cel Link: Hello fellow video game characters and viewers! I love you all!

Everyone: *face fault*

Link: Mystic. have you even played Wind Waker yet?

Mystic: Um. no, but he looks like a cartoon so I might as well make him kid-friendly, right?

Link: You have no creative sense. imagination. or understanding for the brilliance of that game!

Mystic: How much did Nintendo pay you.?

Link: 500,000 rupees.

Ruto: But Link's certainly well endowed in Soul Cailbur 2! Did you see the close up pictures of his di.

Link: Didn't I tell you to stop that already????? How much more am I going to hear of that damn game!

Zelda: Probably all night knowing her joke writers. they can't come up with any new material for such a dumbass!

Ruto: Why you.

Cel Link: *speaks up louder than Ruto* Let's get on with the game! Welcome to Whose Triforce is it anyways? The show where we're all having fun and the hosts don't matter! Wait. did I read that right on the cue card? Oh anyway. these four characters will act out games in accordance to what I tell them to do for points. These points have no meaning whatsoever and I will probably end up forgetting to give them out!

Zelda: I like him already!

Ruto: How dare you interup.

Cel Link: Our first game is "the dating show!" Link, you'll be the available bachlor and these three will be contestants on a dating show. The twist is each of them has a secret identity that you'll have to guess at the end of the game! Let's get started!

*everyone takes a stool and gets seated on the stage, Ruto still grumbling*

Ruto: Why should I you little punk!

Mystic: *smiles sweetly* Because I said so!

Ruto: Damn.

Zelda: haha. Ruto is Mystic's bitch!

Ruto: At least I'm not a prostitute working for my father!

Ganon & Link: BURN!

Zelda: My father is an honorable, respectable man! Yours is just a fat, tub of lard!

Ganon: Double BURN!

Ruto: At least mine gets some every night!

Zelda: How? He ate your mom! And how do you know that anyway? You watch for tips?

Link: Oooohhhh. BURN!

Ruto: Your father had your mom killed after she had you. she wasn't worth living after bringing such a demon in the world!

Ganon: Ooooohhh. you're gonna need some ice for that BURN!

Ruto & Zelda: SHUT U.

Cel Link: Lets. Get. Started. With. The. Game. *smiles, glaring at them with his animated eyes*

*everyone goes silent. you can hear the crickets chirping throughout the studio*

Zelda: I thought we had those killed! Get pest control out here!

Ruto: Yeah. we needed to replace you anyway.

Zelda: Why you little.

Cel Link: NOW!

*each one of them jump and give out a little 'eep', even mister king of all evil himself, they all take their seats again and the three 'bachelors' pick up their cards*

Ganon: *opens his card, which says: Slowly turning into a Cucco*

Ruto: *opens her card, which says: Getting the winning lottery ticket*

Zelda: *opens her card, which says: A Zora*

Link: *ahem* Bachelor number 1!

Ganon: Yes?

Link: Would I look better realistic or Cel shaded?

Ganon: *slips off his stool and starts crouching down on the ground* What the hell is going on. oh yeah. the *starts making Cucco noises* question. um. how about dead?

Link: *huffs, grumbling* you first Gannondork.. *ahem* Anyway, Bachelor number 2?

Ruto: *looks like she's opening something up and staring at something like a tv* Yeah just a minute, I wanna check something here.

Link: Um. alright. bachelor number 3?

Zelda: What the !@#!$@#%$@!#$#%^$^!#%$#@ do you want, bitch?

Link: *starts acting scared* um.. what's your favorite color?

Zelda: *jumps off her chair and starts strutting around, her hands rubbing down over her curves* Isn't it obvious? With such a great body who wouldn't like the color of it?

*all the men in the audience begin to have nose bleeds*

Ruto: *has no clue what Zelda is, but starts getting really excited* Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!!! I can't believe it! This is impossible!!!! I WON I WON!!!!

*Ruto pretends to hold something in her hands and starts running around wildly, holding on to it. She jumps into an audience member's lap and rubs the ticket in his face*

Ruto: Oh yeah! Look at this baby! I won! I WON!!!!

Link: *sweatdrops* Bachelor number 1?

Ganon: *clucks on the ground and flaps his arms like a chicken, stares up at Link blankly*

Link: *tries not to chuckle but can't hold it in for long and bursts out laughing, falls backwards on the chair and continues to laugh hystarically*

Ganon: What? What?

Link: This is too much! The big old great king of evil, acting like a Cucco!

Ganon: We're supposed to be acting.

Ruto: I WON! I. WON! I WON I WON I WON!

Link: *still laughing, rolling on the ground now* A green Cucco. by the goddesses, where's my camera???

Ganon: Don't make me start with the homo jokes again!

Zelda: *jumps on Link and starts hugging him madly* You can't fall down like that! We're going to get married soon darling!

Link: Wha. please tell me you'll still acting.. I just stopped a couple of seconds ago.

Cel Link: *buzz* Okay Link. can you guess who they all are?

Ruto: IIIIIIIII WWWWWOOOOOONNNNNN!!!

Cel Link: *buzz buzz* It's over already!

Ruto: oh.

Link: Well Gannondork is the Evil king of the Cuccos!

Cel Link: *buzz* Correct!

Link: Ruto. let me guess. just won something?

Cel Link: She had a piece of paper with numbers on it.

Link: Her payment from Zelda's father!

*everyone face faults*

Cel Link: *except him, who just keeps on smiling* Nope, try again!

Zelda: Link!!!! You Kokiri raping, cheating, pimp-wannabe.

Ruto: Now now, let's not forget Princess whoring!

Zelda: Shut up, father f!@#er!

Ruto: You first Princess of the prostitutes!

Ganon: Hasn't she already used that one?

Link: Probably. I've lost count on the insults with how many times they've fought.

Ganon: Oh well. still a great BURN!

Cel Link: *ahem*

Link: *scratches his head at his Cel counterpart, a little depressed now* A lottery ticket.

Cel Link: *buzz* Correct!

Link: I haven't the slightest idea what Zelda was. um. herself maybe?

Zelda: *strangely smiling* Nope! I was a Zora!

Ruto: *and Lulu in the audience* WHAT????

*Lulu calls her 7 kids and has them drag Zelda behind the stage*

Zelda: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Help me!!!!

*everyone cringes as her screams and sounds of fighting can be heard from behind, as this happens, everyone puts their stools away and whistles like nothing is happening*

Cel Link: No points for you! You have to stay on topic the WHOLE time! Not just part! Our next game is a Hoedown!

Ruto: That isn't fair! I stayed in character!

Link: No. you'd be like that in real life

Ganon: Plus Zelda did a good rendition so that's two times of you

*Zelda stumbles back in and lines up with everyone else who are already standing*

Cel Link: What should our topic be *ignores all of them* Let's ask the audience!

Lulu: Ways to skewer a princess!

Malon: How to make love to a hero of time!

Darunia: Why I should be a contestant!

Saria: *speaks up from behind the piano* How about Link's many girlfriends?

Cel Link: That will work! Okay your topic is Link's girlfriends. go ahead, Saria!

Saria: *starts playing the typical hoedown music*

Link: I have had about 10 girlfriends But all my relationships have come to an end I loved them all, dearly, bought them stuff at the mall My best achievement is that I've screwed them all!

*everyone dances a little, Ruto and Zelda grumbling at that*

Zelda: I was one of Link's girlfriends for a long while I'd do anything for him, I've even walk a mile I saw him with another girl, who is a big slut! She's big and fat with red hair and she looks like a mutt!

*everyone dances again, BIG boos coming from the Malon fan-club, seated behind Cel Link*

Ruto: Everyone one thinks link has a big head When he talks about the girls has always led Even now he still pushes away princess whore-a Because the best sex partners will always be Zoras!

*Zelda nearly lunges for her again, but strangely enough Lulu's kids are surrounding her now, the audience cheers again*

Ganon: I don't care about Link or his women He is just a pimp whose dick is really thin I've already got the Triforce and you puny souls Now I'm going to run away before you get a hold!

All: Before you get a hold!!!!

Link: Of him!!! Guys we have to get him now!!!

*Ganon runs out as quickly as possible, his usually evil laugh echoing throughout the area, link follows closely behind*

Zelda: You go. we'll stay here

Ruto: So you can get captured again you mean, helpless bitch?

Zelda: Hey! You were captured too, Daddy's sex fish!

Ganon: *from the back* BURN!!!

Cel Link: Only two games? You guys take up way to much time fighting!

All: SHUT UP! Hero of time wannabe!

Cel Link: Well that was uncalled for.

Mystic: This has been another episode of Whose Triforce is it anyways? R&R pretty please??