Authors note: btw- three days = three weeks. You'll be happy to know that all technology will be killed, so don't worry. That was the delay :D but its up now!!! And yes- we stole the color urple from the wonderful author Camilla sandman. Go read the official university of middle earth. Its great :D

Burning Ice: Yay! Thanks for reveiewing! Yup, Kerri almost fainted when I wrote the whole Legolas w/out a shirt part… secret diaries are very cool. You're from Massachusetts too?!?!?! Have YOU taken the mcas too *pukes* we thought we were the only ones too….

Bean: here- we have more!!! Thanks!!

Steph: thank you!!! Flattery always pleases the author :p

Tara:*starts to twitch* YES ITS GOOD FOR OBSESSING!!! YOU SUCK!!!! (just a daft jest from ker) :P but thanks for reviewing!!



Chapter 3: The Morning After the Night Previous....And the boring old Council....

It was a beautiful morning in Imladris. The sun was smiling benevolently on the Last Homely House. Light streamed into all corners of it, brightening the place. The birds sang their sweet songs and the smell of flowers was in the air. The Loudwater could be heard, traveling merrily along its course. It was the ideal morning.

Elrond woke up. The first thing he noticed was neither the sun nor the birdsong. It was the splitting pain residing in his skull. He groaned wordlessly. It felt as though there were dwarves trying to smash his head open with their axes. His head felt clouded and he found that he couldn't remember anything that had occurred the previous night. He rubbed his hand across his face and concentrated….That was right, they had eaten dinner…there had been a problem with the spices…They had gone to the Hall of Fire….then…then... That was all he could really remember. The rest of the night was a confused jumble of images that he couldn't make heads or tails of. Groggily, he staggered to his feet. Or attempted to. Reeling he frantically reached out for anything to keep him steady and his hand landed on his night table. His night table? How had he gotten to his room last night? He was quite sure he'd been far too....ill to manage it.

He tried to remember as he strove to keep the contents of his stomach just there; IN his stomach. Suddenly Elrond recalled two elves helping him to his rooms. Well, that was hardly a surprise, after all, he was Lord Elrond, and he'd always been rather popular with the ladies. They could just ask Celebrian...But he was getting off track. He seemed to remember them standing above him as he laid on his bed, strange, almost malicious grins on their faces. One of them had been holding some scissors.... His brow furrowed as he concentrated on their images. Yes that was right...they had been two females one with dark hair and the other with red. They'd been fair of skin and full of freckles. Well, the dark haired one had been full of freckles anyway. But that wasn't right; Elrond's wine-fogged mind was informing him. There were no elves with red hair and freckles. But there were also no human females staying under his roof. He shook his head and attributed them to hallucinations created by the amount of alcohol he'd consumed the night previous.

Wearily he brought his hand up to wipe his face and smooth his hair. Or where his hair should have been. Reaching up frantically he found that all his hair had been cut off, except for a large strip down the middle of his head that was sticking straight up in the air (we would call this a mohawk). Panicked he stumbled over to a mirror. In horror and disbelief he gingerly felt his new do. Well, it did look rather interesting...Perhaps he'd create a new fashion statement. He'd always been a trend setter. After all, when he had started wearing his hair in little knots…well, let's just say it was now an extremely fashionable do. He wondered again just what he had done last night to end up in such a state. He didn't usually drink so much...Sighing he made his way to the bathroom. He had a council to prepare for after all.

*-*-*

Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood woke feeling no better than Lord Elrond. His head also ached and his stomach rebelled. His mouth was dry, his vision blurry. Quickly he squeezed his eyes shut against the intruding sunlight which seemed wont to fall just across his face. But perhaps worst of all his maladies, he had no recollection of the previous evening. He could remember nothing. Nothing at all. He recalled dressing for Lord Elrond's feast, remembered arriving. But that was absolutely all. He could not even recall what was eaten. Judging by his misery however, he assumed he must have consumed and extremely large quantity of alcohol.

This of course, made no sense at all to the elf. He had been in a serious mood the night before; his mind dwelling on the escape of the creature Gollum and his duty to report the mishap to the council. Brooding on it, he felt the familiar feeling of mingled disgust and anger at himself and the rest of the guards. They all should have been more diligent...not underestimated the loathsome creature...not allowed it so many indulgences...tightened their watchfulness...With a grimace he forcibly snapped himself out of his reverie. His (and my ^_^) original point had been that though he may have been inclined to have a few extra glasses of wine, it was highly uncharacteristic of him to become so seriously incapacitated. Little did he know of course, that a few extra glasses of Marcie, Colleen, and Kerri's "special" wine was all it took to become incredibly...well, smashed. (Might as well be blunt)

All this while he had been clenching his eyes shut against the glare of the sunlight cruelly streaming in the window. Now, he was feeling more awake and slightly less ill. (Elves could certainly drink with the rest of them, but they were quicker to recover from hangovers.) Legolas decided that he'd best get up and relieve his rather full bladder. It seemed to be telling him that he'd had a great deal to drink last night after all...

He opened his eyes and slowly looked around. It was with a good deal of shock that he realized he was in his room. The prince had been under the impression that he had been far too inebriated to have made it all the way back to his room and gotten in bed. And removed his boots. And belt. And tunic. And shirt. Wait. Legolas always slept with his shirt on.

Stumbling to his feet he nearly tripped over something at the foot of the bed. Glancing down he saw that it was his clothes in a neat pile. This too was strange...he usually put his clothes away or left them lying around. He'd never folded them before. Bending down he examined the pile. Yes, there were his boots, his belt and tunic and...no, his shirt wasn't there. He scanned both his room and the adjoining bathroom. His shirt was no where in sight. That was extremely odd. But the thought was soon driven out of his head by his insistent bladder. By the time he was finished getting ready for the council he had forgotten all about the missing article of clothing.

*-*-*

Arwen Undomiel whom some said was the likeness of Luthien awoke feeling somewhat groggy, but otherwise alright. (She had of course had some to drink the night previous, but she has a remarkably large tolerance for that sort of thing...if you catch my drift. ^_-) She stumbled from her bed and immediately sat down in front of her large vanity mirror to begin the hours long task of applying makeup and hair products in order to look presentable. Because of her grogginess and the fact that she was still somewhat asleep she didn't remove the shawl hanging on her mirror right away. Nor did she bother to wonder how it had gotten there. She merely assumed that she must have tossed it there the night before, perhaps in her fit of rage.

No, Arwen did not immediately look in the mirror. Rather, she grabbed her bottle of daily moisturizer and liberally applied it to her entire body, focusing on her face and arms. Only when she was finished and ready to begin working on her hair did she remove the shawl and look in the mirror...

She did not scream right away only do to pure shock. The reflection that stared back at her...Well, it could not be her! Gingerly, terrified and disbelieving she brought her hand up to her face. She started breathing very quickly when she realized that it was indeed, urple. Looking down she realized that she was completely, utterly urple. Stunned and still not breathing quite right, her eyes fell upon her lotion. She snatched the bottle and poured some of the contents onto her outstretched palm. Urple. Her lotion had somehow become urple. Now, of all the colors to be urple is certainly the worst. It is by far the most hideous color to man, and it hurts ones' eyes after mere seconds of gazing on it. And now Arwen Undomiel, the fairest in all the Homely House was completely utterly urple. And certainly no longer fairest.

It was perhaps because of the utter shock of being urple. That she did not immediately notice her hair. But notice she did when her eyes regarded her urple form in the mirror once more. This was the last straw. Her beautiful long, thick hair was...was...By Varda! (They had no words for this hairstyle either. But I believe we call it a 'mullet') Glorfindel! She was sure it was the imbecile Glorfindel! She didn't know how or why...But he was doomed. She stood straight up ready to stalk from her room and rip out the eyes of the first person to get in her way. Unfortunately, she found that she seemed to be stuck to her vanity chair. No amount of tugging would remove it. (As anyone who sits at my lunch table knows, superglue is rather hard to remove things, especially nickels, from).

Her scream was really more of a shriek of horror and rage. It echoed throughout the House of Elrond, and indeed, some say it could be heard as far away as Bree...

*-*-*

Gimli son of Gloin woke to the most ungodly sound he'd ever heard. "What banshee is this?" he questioned (in his very cool Scottish accent ^_^) He of course felt no aftereffects what-so-ever from the exertions of the previous night. He hadn't even touched Elrond's' "wimpy wine". He'd drunk full dwarf spirits until he collapsed...as he always did. He'd never gotten ill before and he certainly wasn't about to start now.

Stroking his beard he resolved to see if these elves served proper breakfasts around here. He knew that they were highly untrustworthy and uncivilized of course, but he was sure he could find some sort of food...It was then that he noticed the mirror. He was certain that there hadn't been a mirror in his room before. He'd of course demanded a "proper" room, not those ridiculous fancy pansy places that the other guests had been housed in. And he was damned sure that there hadn't been a mirror in his room the night before. Curious he walked over to inspect this trickery.

And caught sight of himself. His hair and beard were both neon orange. His hair stuck straight up in the air on all angles. He had the word "Troll Doll" stamped on his forehead. Letting out a string of curses he reached for his trusty axe. Only to find that it wasn't leaning beside his bed where he thought it was. Nor did it seam to be anywhere in the room. In a fit of rage he tore the room apart until a glint caught his eye. He looked up. There on the ceiling above his head was his axe. It was fixed to the roof by some metallic silver like substance that he had never laid eyes on before. Reaching he found that when he jumped it was just out of his reach. Damn elves! They would pay for making a fool of Gimli son of Gloin!!! He let out a battle cry and stormed from his room.

*-*-*

Colleen, Marcie, and Kerri were also awakened by the shrill cry of the elf princess.

"Ye gods!" Kerri exclaimed, "What did you do to her Marcie?"

"Nothing...." but Marcie's innocent reply was belayed by the evil glint in her eyes. Colleen merely groaned from her place on the floor between Marcie and Kerri. The girls had found an empty unused storage room in the basements. It looked as though it hadn't even been opened in years, so they thought that they were unlikely to be discovered.

"Ack! Would you two shut up? I just got to sleep!"

"Sorry," Kerri apologized. "But did you hear Arwen's shriek? What did you do to her Marcie?" she questioned again.

"He he he." was the girl's only reply.

Kerri ran her hands through her short red hair in exasperation. "Aren't you going to tell us?" But further conversation was interrupted by a dwarven battle cry.

"What did you two do to Gimli?" Marcie countered. Colleen groaned again and muttered something in Rohirric.

"What was that Cleena?"

"Just muttering about the inconsiderateness of some people...keeping their poor innocent sleepy friends awake...Don't you people know I need my sleep?"

"Geesh, you're grouchy..."Marcie observed.

"Of course I'm grouchy! I've had all of two hours sleep! Unlike you, I was up all night being sneaky and mischievous! All you did was screw with Arwen! Me and Kerri tackled Elrond, Legolas, and Gimli! And let me tell you, those guys are heavy! You wouldn't believe what we went through to get them back to their rooms!"

"Yeah, I thought we were nearly done for when Elrond woke up..." Kerri added.

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well," Kerri began, "Me and Cleena..."

"Cleena and I," Colleen corrected absently. Kerri growled.

"Anyways, Me and Cleena had just gotten Elrond back to his rooms. We were standing over him and Cleena was holding the scissors when all of a sudden his eyes flutter open and he gives us this confused look like 'Wah?' "

"Luckily, Kerri grabbed a rolling pin and nailed him on the head, promptly knocking him out again."

"A rolling pin?"

"Don't ask."

"Not asking... Hey is that a new shirt Ker?" Marcie asked admiring the light green silk with embroidered designs. Kerri grinned stupidly and Colleen scowled.

"I told you not to steal that Kerri! He's gonna notice!"

"Won't!"

"Will!"

"Won't!"

"Will too!"

"Will not! And besides, he'll just think he lost in a drunken stupor..."

Marcie looked at the pair in complete confusion. "Well, we were bringing Legolas back to his rooms last night," Colleen started as Kerri got a dreamy look on her face.

"And we had him all nice and tucked in, sound asleep..." Kerri continued.

"You wouldn't believe what I had to do to keep her from climbing in bed with him!" Colleen interjected. Kerri smiled dreamily again. "I eventually had to promise to let her take his shirt even though, he's going to notice and wonder what happened!"

"Will not!"

"Will so!"

Marcie looked from the tall red haired girl to the shorter, dark haired, freckled one and burst into laughter. "So what did you guys do to Gimli anyways? That was some yell..."

"Oh that...That was Cleena's idea"

"Well, you came up with the duct-tape axe thing..."

"What?"

"Ok, me and Cleena," Kerri shot Colleen a look daring her to interrupt. Colleen raised her hands in defeat. "So, me and Cleena carried Gimli back to his room last night...boy that guys heavy! And we were trying to decide what to do to him when Cleena spotted the orange hair dye you brought.."

"Oh dear...I think I see where this is going." Marcie grinned maliciously.

"Yup! We turned Gimli into a troll!" Colleen chimed in.

"By Varda..." The three girls broke into laughter at the image of Gimli as one of the troll dolls they had played with as kids.

"I still wanna know what you did to Arwen!" Kerri demanded when the laughter had died off.

Marcie acquired her now famous evil grin. "Well...It was actually something that Tara had said a long time ago that gave me the idea." she began. The other two girls nodded, recalling their squirrel-like friend's knack for saying...interesting...things. "Well, Tara once said how April's hair looked like a mullet...and then promptly forgot all about it and started talking about Arwen being at Helms' Deep" The other girls scowled menacingly "Right. So, we all know how Marcie's brain is a wee bit slower than everyone else, Kidding Kidding!" she interjected when she saw that Colleen and Kerri looked as though they were about to interrupt and yell at their friend for putting herself down. "Anywho... I just couldn't get the words Arwen and mullet out of my head."

Being just a bit slow themselves Kerri and Colleen grinned maliciously as they realized just what it was their friend had done.

"And that was enough to make her scream like that?" Kerri questioned.

"Well, I suppose being uple and super glued to her chair may also have contributed..." The freckled girls looked at her questioningly and she launched into her tail of urple dye and superglue. They were all laughing uproariously by the end of the tale.

Colleen raised her wrist and checked her watch.

"Cleena!" Marcie exclaimed.

"What?"

"You're wearing a watch!" Kerri stated

"I'm aware...and your point is?"

"They don't have watches in Middle-Earth! What if someone sees it?" Marcie said exasperated.

"No one's going to see me, so no one's going to see it!"

"But they could" Kerri continued.

"Well, then it's my new fashion statement...Besides, if I didn't have my watch, we'd never know that the Council was going to start in 10 minutes."

"What?"

"Yup. Well, it'll prolly be a wee bit later than it was in the books cause of all the alcohol that everyone consumed the night previous, but we'd still better get down there if we want good hiding spots..."

"True, true," Kerri conceded.

"Let's go!" Marcie announced and the three girls headed towards the balcony where the council was to take place.

*-*-*

The shadowy figure had slid behind Frodo's chair just as the Council of Elrond was about to start. She had been spying on Frodo, Bilbo, and Gandalf when the warning bell had wrung and she'd had to take a far less direct route to avoid being seen. Gloin had just begun the tale of Balin and Moria when the shadowy figure suddenly heard three voices whisper loudly in astonishment, "April?!?!?!"

Marcie, Kerri and Colleen had been zoning out while the Council droned on ("I'm seeing why Tolkien didn't say everything that happened in the book!" Marcie had stated.) When out of the corner of her eye Kerri had caught a glimpse of the shadowy figure. Silently she elbowed her friends and they had crept towards their nemesis, intent on discovering its identity. It was only a few feet before they realized that it was...

April froze at hearing her name. What was going on? Who was talking to her? No one was supposed to know she was here...Turning slowly she came face to face with...

Kerri, Colleen, and Marcie were utterly stunned. How on earth had she gotten there? Could it really be her? In astonishment they whispered...

April stared. And blinked. And stared. And exclaimed, "Colleen?! Kerri?! Marcie?! What on earth? How..?"

Marcie, Kerri and Colleen were thinking the same exact things. "April?" Marcie questioned "How did you? I mean, we used...but you?"

"You guys found it?" April asked. "I should have figured you would have...I mean, you probly know every inch of that auditorium by now Marc..."

"What are you talking about?" Kerri cut her off. Meanwhile, Elrond had begun his tale of the Last Alliance.

"The portal in the back of the auditorium of course." April said matter-of- factly. "Isn't that how you got here? The portal in the back of the auditorium that leads to the Shire?"

"A portal?" Colleen said incredulously. "In the back of our poor old auditorium. Like at our high school?"

"Yes..." April faltered "The portal in the back of GHS auditorium. Isn't that how you guys got to Middle Earth?"

"No, we used Colleen's inter-dimensional portal thingy....You mean there's a portal to the Shire in the back of my auditorium? I use that place like every day!"

April shrugged. "Look, all I know is that a few months ago I was fooling around in the back of the auditorium looking for one of those old telephones...You know that we need for the next play? I am the prop goddess after all, it is my job to have all the props in place..." she trailed off. "Anyways, I was in the back of the auditorium when I noticed this weird swirly area. It was like, if I looked at the back wall from one angle it looked all swirly.. but from another angle it looked normal. So I went to investigate. Next thing I know...POOF! I land just outside Bag End! I was, of course, extremely confused...But I eventually figured it out and I followed Frodo all the way here!"

The three girls were all silent, admiring how their friend had managed to get this far without hurting herself...or grabbing Frodo. April was just as obsessed with Frodo as Marcie was with Aragorn and Kerri was with Legolas...

The girls chatted for the rest of the Council, swapping tales of adventures and mischief. They listened to each other with one ear and kept the other on the goings on in the Council. They half listened to Elrond's tale, and Boromir's (although Colleen's ears perked up when he mentioned his brother who had had dreams...) and Bilbo, Gandalf, and Legolas' stories...The day wore on. Until they heard the words they were waiting for, the words present in both the book and the movie.

"I will take the Ring," he said, "though I do not know the way." The four friends whipped around where they sat to view the drama taking place in the Council before them. In true movie fashion, Aragorn stood and pledged his aid to Frodo.

"You have my sword," he concluded and it seemed to all as though his voice were joined with a chorus of others. The same phenomenon occurred when Legolas and Gimli pledged their bow, and axe respectively. The fan girls of course were quoting lines softly, but the wind carried their voices creating an echo. All in all it was a nice effect. Elrond proclaimed them Nine Walkers to balance the Nine Riders and finished with the memorable line, "You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

Where-upon, April, Colleen, Kerri, and Marcie put their hands together and Marcie's voice whispered, "And we shall be..." The four girls all said together then, "The Fellowship of the Crazy, Psychotic, Completely Obsessed, Fan girls!" And they collapsed in silent giggles.

*-*-*

Jeremiah was awakened by the shrill scream of a female voice. "What the hey? Where am I?" It was then that he remembered waking up in his sister Colleen's big machine and seeing a real big forest just before he was knocked unconscious again. He seemed to be doing that a lot. Getting knocked unconscious that is. He was still staring at the forest canopy and slowly sat up. Only to discover that the big metal thing was gone! Along with his feet! Panicked he jumped up...only to realize that his feet were still there. Cautiously he stepped forward...until he collided with the air.

It was true, there appeared to be just more trees around, but Jeremiah had hit a wall of some kind. He felt along the wall until his hand hit empty air. Stepping forward he found himself back inside the big metal thing. "Woah...Its invisdible!" But it was not the time to contemplate the invisibility of his sisters' weird toys. At the moment he had to figure out where in the hey he was. He strove to figure out what his crazy sister had been up to.

Searching the big machine he came up with a set of medireview-ish clothes, the weapons he had found previously, and a battered copy of Return of the King. It was then that he noticed the fancy nameplate above the door that read, "RFD2".

RFD2? He seemed to recall reading one of Colleen's crazy stories about something called RFD2. She and her friend Marcie had gone to France...to the realm of the Phantom of the Opera...He also remembered her insisting it had really happened. She had shown him one of the Phantoms' masks as proof, but he had just assumed it was another of her crazy fantasies...

But if it wasn't? A tiny voice asked. What if your nutso sister really did create some sorta time machine thing? That would explain this, wouldn't it? He tried to tell the voice that it wouldn't explain this. That it wasn't possible and that there had to be a reasonable explanation. "Besides!" he said in desperation, "That doesn't tell me where I am right now! There are no forests in Paris!"

I think you're holding the clue in your hand there pal-y boy! the voice said in an irritatingly smug tone. Jer looked and saw that he was holding the old copy of Return of the King in his hand. "No way...." But at that moment all contemplation of the matter was interrupted by the sounds of something VERY large trampling through the forest. Poking his head out, he realized that it was after dark. "Now you just wait a cotton-pickin minute! Wasn't it just morning?!" Shut up! the voice said. You don't question these things ok?! Its after dark if I say its after dark! Now get out there and see what's making all that noise! Oh...you might want to grab a sword...

Jeremiah shrugged and decided to obey the voice. One generally does obey omnipotent voices that spoke to one in such commanding tones after all...He grabbed his sword and stepped out of RFD2. Only to find himself staring a big ugly troll in the face. "Stupid voice! Now I'm in trouble much....."