"Hermione was always a dork"
Ron said thickly through his mouthful of cork
Then Hermione got mad
And then owled Ron's dad
Before killing her friend with a fork

Harry was keeping out of her way
After Hermy killed Ron one fine day
But then one day he got
Himself in a trap caught
And she killed him and said, "It's okay."

"House elves are really dumb,"
said Hermione, twiddling her thumbs
She did not go to bed
'til each house-elf was dead
then she turned and killed Viktor Krum

Hermy ignored all her work
Her responsibilities shirked
When McGonagall came
To speak with the dame,
With the jolt of death she did jerk

When Professor Dumbledore came
To see if this all was a game,
She killed him with speed
And for this bad deed
Hermione sure felt no shame

When Hermione wanted to talk
She went down to Hagrid's to knock
She killed him with spite
And with all of her might
And told people he 'went for a walk'

Now our story draws to a close
As Hermione stops for a pose
After marrying Snape
Who admired her shape
And presented her with a red rose