LOVE'S CHANCE AT FATE
PLEASE REVIEW SO I CAN POST THE NEXT CHAPTER!! I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT ^_^
**AHEM** Please don't sue me for changes in plot lines, the use of Tolkien's world, or Elvish translations. Word translations made possible by:
So please don't sue me. I CITED!
Chapter 14: Doubts and Discussions
Some while later, after Legolas had sat in much thought over the matter, and when Vilisse had enough time to herself, he came back to her room.
"Feeling any better?" He asked, closing the door softly behind him. Vilisse had been sitting upright, legs crossed in a meditative position.
"Yes, much, thank you." Legolas sat back in the chair he had been in when she first woke up. He had something to say, and it was difficult. A moment of silence passed between the two elves.
"I know this is awkward, for the both of us," Legolas began. "I never even gave thought that I, above all others, would find you one day. Yes, there were times I gave thought to where you were, and mayhap what you were doing. But I never fully understood your motive for leaving, or who it was you were trying to get away from." Vilisse searched his eyes. For the first time, as it seemed in ages, she couldn't find the right words to say.
"I... was different then. Though not that I am much different now. I know things now, that I didn't then... But that changes nothing! My will is not bound in a union I yet have no consent in..." Her face grew colored with emotion. "Tell me, Legolas, do you still love the warring arts?" She asked, in a matter of fact.
"That I do," he answered plainly.
"Then what if, by your Elder's will, you were to give that up for a whiny female, and wait on her, hand and foot, forever? How would you like that?" Legolas sighed heavily. He knew what she was getting at.
"Vilisse, I would not like that, and I think no one would, whatever the gender," he countered.
"Ah, you can say that now, because it does not concern yourself! You would not be made to change as I would. A lady of the royal court, in leggings and a tunic, not bound to her husband's will? Could you really see me sitting alongside you forever that way?" She asked, more defiantly than really curious.
"Why do you think anyone would make you do that?" Legolas swiftly rose to his feet, walking towards her. "If a lady of the royal court, or of any court for that matter, wishes to wear her clothing of choice, and pursue the doings of her choice, then that is her decision, not someone else's."
"Well, I'm glad that you seem to think so. But in this reality, females don't get that kind of freedom, not all of us." She waved her hand in the air, as if dismissing him. "Obviously your ignorance puts you at a disadvantage here," she said in anger. But as she put her hand down, he caught her wrist in his palm,
"I don't know where you were taught manners, but obviously there is more here you're not telling me"
"And why should I?" She fumed, pulling her wrist sharply out of his hand. "What's your reason for being here? Have my Elders sent you to look for me, in hopes that you could reconcile me to fall in love with you and come back home?" Her dark eyes fumed with an anger backed from a bitter past. But instead of backing away, Legolas sat down next to her on the bed. It was a moment or two that passed before he spoke to her.
"I have been sent on no errand, and neither would I ever go on such a task. I would have you know that I would never love a lady who does not wish me to love her, and who would not have me. I don't believe love must be forged, or reconciled for that matter. And if coming home is the last thing you want to do, then that is your decision, not mine. The truth is..." he paused, trying to choose his words carefully. The last thing he wanted was for her to be angry with him. "I would not mind such a lady in my court." He held up his hands, as if stopping her from saying something as her lips opened to protest. "Hear me out, malady. Long ago, we learn how our Elders fall in love. That they meet someone perchance, and there's something between them that's been preordained, before they were born. We don't know how it happens, or why. But by the light of the Valar, we look for that one person, in hope that there is love for us out there. Many long years have I sat in cold halls at the bidding of my father, who hoped that I would find that companion. But I never cared to look, I never cared to search. So when it happened that I took a retreat from my duties as the King's son for a time, I had no intention, as I never have, of looking for someone. I walked into an Inn, and met a lovely young lady who waited on my friends and I in the restaurant. There was something not quite right about her, and her composure seemed too graceful for a mortal girl...yet terribly off balance." He paused again, taking a glance out the window, searching his mind for what to say as she studied his face. It was she who spoke next, not out of anger, but out of sincerity.
"Do you remember... when we were children?" She brought his face back with her hand. "And you said that we would always be friends, and you would let nothing take me from you?" She kept her hand on his face, and tracing his chin she sighed heavily. "I never wanted to hurt you Legolas, believe me, please. But there were certain things that I had to do... certain paths I needed to take," she dropped her hand from his chin.
"And believe me, Vilisse, that when I say I believe something, I do. I don't say things to please people, I never have had to. I don't believe that our Elders had bad intentions for us, neither do I believe that one who cannot love another or would be unhappy doing so should marry. So believe me still when I say that I would not have you, for all the world, if you would not have me. Love, like friendship, is a two way street. It cannot be reconciled by others, nor forged. I come to you now as your friend, as I once was. Our childhood days together have been spent in my mind. I was hoping they had not been spent in vain, that more would take their place someday. You are free of your debt to me, Vilisse Arandur, and as free as you have always been. I make no judgment upon you, nor your decisions."
The look of surprise was evident enough on Vilisse's face that Legolas knew he had finally gotten through to her.
"If you wish me to walk out that door," he stated, passing a glance there and back again, "and never look back, or otherwise stay awhile, I will do so. It is your wish." He sat, waiting for her answer. In all the seriousness of the moment, Vilisse had realized something about her old friend, that he was not lying to her, as so many others she had done. He didn't look as though he ever had lied to her, or wouldn't. From the bottom of her soul, she knew she could trust him.
She looked into his eyes, eyebrows furrowed, searching unfruitfully for some kind of emotion from him to sway her to either way.
"I am sorry," she turned her face away from his, looking towards the window for some kind of comfort. "I am sorry," she whispered, "for everything." She closed her eyes, thinking over the last years. "I was afraid... so afraid..." she whispered, bringing her gaze to meet his. "For the longest time, I thought that love was untouchable, that it was meant for someone better than I. That a prince would deserve a better princess than the one I could ever be, that you deserved something sweeter, something prettier, something more than what I can offer you." Legolas saw her cold exterior give way to the realization of something. "I don't know what is in your heart, but I know what is in mine," her eyes welled with tears not wanting to be shed. "I could never be your princess. It is not that I am not taken by your kindness and sincerity," she added quickly, "but it wouldn't suite me. I couldn't live like that, I couldn't let everyone down, that their princess was grudgy and off course. I couldn't bring that kind of shame to the Mirkwood throne... and it's family."
Legolas tried to mar his emotions with a stony gaze, but failed, revealing a hint of disappointment.
"If that be your wish, malady, then it is done." As he got up to leave, she reached for his arm, as if there was something else she needed to say, but couldn't find the words. She watched in dismay as he opened the door to leave.
"But let it be known to you, Vilisse, that you could not possibly let anyone down," he turned and faced her. "Not in your household, and not in mine. And if you are the most defiant lady in all Arda, I would still have you... and no there's no shame in that. Not here, not anywhere." He closed the door swiftly and was gone.
Vilisse's mouth hung open and much to her surprise, she felt a longing for him to come back to her, and tell her he would stay.
Translations:
Vilisse: (meaning in Quenya) a person's "spirit", meaning his or her general personality and attitude.
Huore: Heart-vigor, aggressive in the ways of the heart (traditional spelled with two dots above the e, however my computer doesn't know the codes).
Istima: Knowledge, learned.
Elwen: Hearted- to have heart.
Arandur: A King's servant, Steward.
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