Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

AN: What does NHS stand for, you ask? Whatever you want it to stand for - the most obvious choice being "Newsie High School." "New Tuna High School," "Nifty High School," and "Neighborly High School" work as well. In my friend Daavid's words, 'whatever boats your float.'

He isn't the brightest crayon in the box. I mean, sharpest.

YIKES and 'thanks!' to everyone who has submitted profiles thus far. I'm a bit overwhelmed with them (holy there's a lot!) so if you don't see your character yet, do not fret! They'll pop up some time or another. Meanwhile I'm stalling on an actual plot until I introduce more characters. -sweatdrop-

+

Cards: DAMMIT can't believe I forgot you! Look! Top o' the list now! Send me over a pomegranate, eh? And you can borrow a cot if Dutchy and Specs are still hogging your room.

ThumbsuckerSnitch: Bass clarinet players are obviously the coolest in the band. -grin- And man, those cases are fun to threaten lower classmen with. Minion!Snoddy! -cracks up- And what can I say? In my science class we actually did have to watch "The Private Life of Plants." It was very long. I fell asleep. So did my friend Abbe - she drooled all over her sweatshirt.

Omni Books: What, I can't shorten your name? Too late to save Dutchy! Ark. Racetrack is yours. -nods- Muah hah hah. Not sure how I'll write you two yet. Workin' on it!

Secksay, Fatherly, Fridge Decoration: Ark! I coulda sworn I e-mailed you, but I did again and now I have your info, so sit tight… ^_^

AngelicOne: Oh, I can picture Skittery's expression perfectly. -snort- That would be hilarious.

Dragonfly: I can never draw flowers. I usually end up drawing, like, spiderwebs. Even though I hate spiders.

Babble: This high school is gonna have maaany many band geeks. But that's ok. We're all band geeks at heart, right? Er… Right?

Hotshot: Er… -sweatdrop- Ummm… I'M SORRY I'M JUST SUCH A SUCKER FOR D/S! Crutchy/Jake? o_O … I'll see what I can do for you and Specs though? Hoh boy… -ducks from thrown rotten fruit-

Riot: No idea where this school actually is, but I'm just a diehard Bo'Sox fan so of course she's wearing it. Just to make it interesting, next time she'll probably be wearing a Yankees hat. -snort-

Deejay Supastar: Ye, you get Pie in this one. Was anyone else surprised by that? Hehehe. Please don't faint on me… It really does nothing for the décor. Of course exploding is even worse.

Salute your SHORTS: o_o moo? (Yes, make fun of me, I haven't seen Rent yet..) Ah! Such a great song. I know all the words too. Christmas approaches, we must have the songs!

Asp: Ah yes, unfortunately, a tuba case would probably be hard to swing. But that would be amusing. Yes! Cackle away! It's good for the soul.

JLove: Like I mentioned above, I actually had to watch a movie on plant sex. It was horrible. The worst part was the narrator.

Raeghann: Falco keeps berating me for not reading "Through the Hourglass," so I expect I'll be doing that soon. I'll keep an eye out for Ox. And, thanks!

Aki: Swifters! Hehe. I like that. He almost sat next to you. Dammit Slacker!

Mondie: A new nickname every review, it seems. Ark. I lurve your guy characters in Growth/Will I! I'll be stealing some soon. -cackles-

Ruse: Wheee I get the Stamp of Ruse Approval! Mucho thanks for the profiles. ^_^

Slick: YOU SAY WICKED! It's the coolest word, but I always get harassed for saying it! 'Must be a northeastern thing,' everyone says. Ark ark ark.

Drama Queen: KOW? That's a new one!

Kitten-Luv: How'd you know I can amuse myself for hours with a lollipop???

Atlantic: Don't fret, they'll all be in eventually.

+

Alright, break's over, back to school!

+

Lunch was the chaotic mass it always is. Schizo battled with her uncontrollable hair, Specs and Dutchy flirted while Hotshot looked on in despair, Lute berated Snitch until he gave my watch back, Lyr was mad because Racetrack was in for lunch detention - again.

"Honestly," she was saying between mouthfuls of some pastry or another. (Pie was looking jealous.) "I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy."

"At least your relationship isn't like that one," Dodger said from an adjourning table. She was motioning to the back of the room, where Poet was yelling at Skittery. Poet and Skittery had been together all through high school - a surprise considering that they were the exact opposites. Skittery, the bully. Poet, the peacemaker. He never acted up when she was around.

"It's not so bad," Pie-eater said. Lyr had finally handed some of her pastry over to him. "She's his saving grace, really."

"Here comes trouble," Dodger again. Sure enough, Spot Conlon came parading through the doors, flanked by a good number of his admirers. Giggles was talking animatedly with Sky, who was hanging off Spot and just ignoring her. Babble, Ali, and Glitter strode in behind them, surveying the lunchroom with superior looks on their faces.

"It's like they're all the same person," Ruin was muttering. "Their names are the best part. So damn original."

Schizo snickered.

"Original. Heh. Gawd, am I the only one temporarily blinded by Glitter's…"

"…Glitter?" Lyr supplied.

"Yeah. Maybe if someone maimed them, they'd actually look different from one another."

"Ruin, sit down."

Behind that crowd, fashionably late as always, paraded the jocks - Jack Kelly and his cheerleader girlfriend Sarah Jacobs, of course with their whole 'posse' following closely. I watched with interest as Jack parted from the group and made his way over to our table, glancing around every few seconds like he was checking to see if anyone was watching. Slacker, who was sitting next to Dodger, stared as he approached the cluster of table. I heard Dodger mutter something about keeping her drool to herself. Why Slacker is in love with Jack is a mystery to us all. But damn, that girl is obsessed.

Jack stopped behind Dutchy and Specs and cleared his throat nervously. I indicated Jack to Specs with a nod of my head. He turned and looked up.

"Heyyy, Jacky-boy."

"Uhm, hey, yeah, listen Specs…" Jack mumbled articulately. Apparently he was one of those who didn't want to be seen around one of the school's 'fags.' Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Hotshot put down her sandwich and get ready to act if any trouble was caused. Specs' ex girlfriend, and now best friend, she was also one of the most protective people I've known.

"About that algebra shit," Jack was saying. "D'ya think that… That… Ya could help me after all?" his tone boarded on pleading. Specs grinned widely and stood up, then gave Jack a hearty clap on the back.

"Well, sure Jacky!" he said loudly. Very loudly. Several heads turned in our directions - Jack simply turned red. "I'll help you study!" he accented the key word and winked at some random person in the lunchtime crowd. Snickers erupted immediately. I didn't think it was possible for Jack to turn any redder, but he did. "We'll have fun," he promised Jack, then sat back down and returned calmly to his conversation with Slick. The jock stood frozen for a moment, then fled like a jack rabbit.

Ahem. No pun intended.

"Look at that! Just look at that!" a familiar voice said disgustedly. Shortie had stopped right in front of her seat and was glaring at something. I followed her gaze and hid a smile. "Shove it, Swifty," she spat, noticing me.

"Testy, testy," Ruin snorted - and was rewarded with a smack. "That was rather uncalled for," she said coldly, then returned to watching the source of Shortie's 'testiness.'

Across the cafeteria was a familiar sight - Mush Myers cornering a girl named Mondie. Poor Mush. He always went after the girls who would never go out with him, all the while ignoring people like Shortie. Then again, sometimes people like Shortie are the ones to stay away from. She has a shrine. Does that not scare you?

Mondie was rolling her eyes and looking for a way out, while Mush flirted shamelessly and tried his best to impress her. Shortie finally sat down and glared across the table to Slick.

"Gimmie some of that salsa," she growled.

"Uh, Shorts, this is straight horseradish - I wouldn't advice you to-"

"JUST GIVE IT TO ME!" Slick's eyes widened with a snap, and she slid the bottle across obediently. Everyone watched as Shortie shoved a spoonful of the stuff into her mouth. I expected smoke to come out of her ears any minute… but she just swallowed it moodily and continued to glare off into space, no expression on her face. Pie-eater gulped and edged away.

Near the end of lunch, Polecat showed up. She located our table quickly and moved over to join us.

"Hey guys. Did any of you hear about the new kid?"

"Where were you?"

"New kid?"

"Man, you missed the best movie in science…"

"Is it a boy?"

"Dutchy!"

"I was just wondering!"

"New what?"

"Kid."

"Is it a girl?"

"Calm down. Yes, apparently we're getting a new guy from FHS."

"So it's a guy?"

"DUTCHY!"

"Uh, I mean, that's too bad… Cause… I'm unavailable and all," Dutchy added quickly, avoiding Specs' glare.

"Yeah, it's a guy. Abbe told me about him - she goes to FHS. Anyway," she continued, leaning forward and looking at each of the girls in turn. "He's tall… dark… handsome… strong…"

"I'm right here," Pie-eater said quietly.

"…dreamy… mysterious… he sings… and plays football… and acts… and-"

"Yup," Pie-eater held up his wrist as if checking a watch. "Stillllll right here."

"-is in band, and-"

Ruin tapped Polecat's shoulder and motioned to Pie-eater, who was hunched over the table, drumming his fingers on the table, eyes narrowed.

"Oh! Hey Pie, I was wondering where you were."

+

Who's this new guy? Anyone who gets it right receives… these hand crafted slash dolls! -displays them Vanna White style- any two newsies you want! Look! They have magnets in their hands! And then… -moves two of the dolls together- See! They hold hands!