(revised version)
Chapter 1: Alive?
He remembered falling, remembered the rush of the wind, as the floor grew ever closer. He rembered hearing the earsplitting crunch of his bone shattering impact. He remembered whispering his brother's name and then falling into darkness. He thought he was as good as dead, but he had thought that before hadn't he? The hopeless feeling of death approaching, the grief of those he would leave behind, but he had been given another chance to live that time, perhaps again he would be saved from the end. But that would absurd, asking too much of the fates, could he be so selfish? No, he would die if he lived for himself, he would have been dead long ago.
There was a light and he opened his eyes, looking around, wondering. Was this the afterlife? Was he still dead? No, he was plainly living, painfully alive. He grasped at the sword tip that fate had toss so recklessly into his chest to find it was no longer there, only a deep wound remained, as if someone had removed the shard and left him there to drown in his own blood.
However, he wasn't in the same room he had died in,
in fact there didn't appear to be any room, only a darkness and
a smooth cold surface below him which he couldn't even see. As if it were
only a thin sheet of frozen glass. He stood out broadly from the dark,
as if basking in the noonday sun. Trying to sit up, he gasped the sharp
pain in his chest increasing as more blood flowed forth from his wound.
He tore a large piece of fabric off his skirt, tore
a smaller piece off of this and put the smaller to the cut, then he wrapped
the larger around his torso several times so that it would not move. He
stood, sucking in a sharp breath and letting it whistle out between his
teeth.
"What now?" he asked himself, there was a strong
blast of wind that nearly knocked him over and then nothing except for
the distinct sound of footsteps.
"Who's there?" He asked in the direction of the
footsteps, they stopped and slowly he began to see the form of a person,
a woman. Soon she stood out distinctly amongst the dark surroundings.
"The light is coming from you." Her voice was melodic,
making him wonder if she had sung the words instead of speaking them. He
just looked at her quizzically.
"What is going on?" he asked.
"You've been given a second chance." Again, the
melodious voice.
"No offense m'lady, however, this would be my third."
He said scornfully.
"No, what your second was a destiny of death, simply
prolonged over painful years, you're being given another chance at life."
She stepped closer to him, now she was only a foot away from him. She raised
her hand to his wound and he felt a burning sensation, but more of a warmth
that spread even to his wing tips. She undid his make shift bandage to
reveal a small scar. He examined it in wonder and then looked at her, she
had backed away slightly.
"Why?" He wondered.
"Live." Was all she said.
"How can I go back? I don't understand."
"You can't go back, not now, most likely not ever.
Come with me, I will show you." She began walking in the same direction
she had come from and he worked hard to stay in stride with her, she may
have healed him but he felt tears come to his eyes as even breathingput
strain on the scar tissue.
"You're going to another place, one not far from
Gaea, in another world, a place where the mystic moon and Gaea do not exist,
only you will be able to see them as stars in the night sky."
He looked slightly forlorn but nodded his head solemnly.
"It will be difficult, do not doubt that, you'll
need to blend in."
She snapped her fingers and he looked down to see
he was wearing a pair of black pants. His wings were still extended but
he had a crimson shirt on, it had slits in the back just wide enough to
allow his wings through. He looked at his feet to find the most peculiar
looking shoes. (Most of us would know them as tennis shoes) Hadn't Hitomi
worn shoes like them? He shrugged his shoulders and continued walking.
"You won't be able to draw back you wings in for
a while, healing your wound had that effect. Look down there, that's your
new home."
A blue green ball appeared below and they stopped abruptly.
"Now, you'll need this," she handed him a blue pendant
almost identical to Hitomi's, except it was on a silver chain. He put it
around his neck and inside his shirt.
"Now you are ready. It is beautiful place, but do
not let its beauty fool you for the wicked are hidden amongst the lovely."
He felt suspended as if floating but not quite, as if some invisible hand
held him in its grip ready to hurl him to the orb below.
"Wait! Who are you and why did you do all this?"
he asked, in a panic, suddenly unsure of his fate. Suddenly a pair of glistening
silver wings burst from her shoulders.
"I am the one the Darconians became like, the guardian
of the people of Atlantis, until this very day I am bound to guide them,
although few remain. I could not stop them from making their foolish choices,
only help them. I tried to speak to your ancestors but they would not listen,
even you and your brother could not hear my voice until now."
"I'm sorry m' Lady. Forgive me for being so ignorant.
If I had known to listen I might even know your name." He felt ashamed
but glad at the same time.
"My name is not important, but because it would
seem you truly desire to know it I shall tell you. My name is Eirene. Have
faith Folken, son of Atlantis. For now, you shall live a life of peace."
With that, he felt himself beginning to fall towards the orb beneath him.
He flapped his wings fiercely, trying to slow himself, he was falling too
quickly! He paniced, instinct and knowledge of physics screaming sirens
of warning. The planet grew closer each second and his wings seemed to
do no good.
A/N: Hello all, this chapter doesn't have many changes there is a change
in the format of the story, it comes later. oh and all my credits will
be at the end of the whole thing for the sake of organization and time.
If you have any suggestions of what to improve from the last edition of
Weeping Willow please let me know.
Feedback: Any sort of constructive critisism is help mainly on my weaknesses.
Orginaization, dialogue, Characterization, Stream of Consciousness, etc.
Encouragement is nice as well, but really I'm seeking to grow as a writer.
Any literary techniques I can learn are great.
