The Inu Crew's Messed Up Movie!
Directed By Katz-Sama

Author Note: I Do Not Own InuYasha or Any of the movies we will be screwing
up.

It was 6 AM, and the sun hadn't even risen yet, a Neko Child wearing a black sweater and pants had walked up the steps to the auditorium, this was a special day, she was going to fulfill her dream of making a movie with her favorite cast of characters from the well-known anime, InuYasha. She took a deep breath and smiled opening the door to the auditorium not surprised to see Sango beating the hell out of Miroku for some odd reason, InuYasha sitting in the balcony sulking, Sesshoumaru sighing and mumbling about something, Rin running after Jaken with a plank of wood, Kikyo sitting, no emotion or anything, Naraku sitting in the darker parts of the auditorium, the only one acting remotely normal was Kagome.

Kagome: You must be the new director! Come on in!

Katz: Thank you.

The Cat-like girl smiled as she walked up toward center stage

Katz: Okay everyone, listen up!

Everyone ignored her and carried on what she was doing.

Katz: -screams- SHUT UP AND LISTEN! Thank you. As you may have guessed, I am your director and coach for the next few weeks, now, after an hour of thinking and going through movies of mine I chose these to perform. Star Wars, Road to Perdition, The Godfather, Aladdin, Anger Management, Catch Me If You Can, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, and The Crocodile Hunter Movie, line up for your scripts.

InuYasha: What movie are we starting first anyway, and do we get any reward for this.

Katz: -gives an evil eye- Just take the stupid script, Dog Boy.

InuYasha: Whatever.

Katz: Our first movie is going to be an edition of Star Wars, and our line up is.

Luke SkyWalker: InuYasha

Princess Leia: Kagome

Darth Vader: Sesshoumaru

Chewbacca: Shippou

Han Solo: Naraku

CP30: Miroku

R2D2: Sango

Myoga: ObiWan Kenobie

Kikyo: Yoda

Katz: Okay! Chop, Chop! Go get your costume!

Kikyo: Yoda? YODA!?

Meanwhile, outside the auditorium, a fifteen-year-old girl sat with a camera, and autograph book, ready to meet the crew. Her name was Jessi, and she wasn't one to miss this opportunity.

Jessi: Finally. My chance to meet the InuYasha crew and plaster their beautiful faces all over my wall! Wish me luck!

Jessi sneaked inside the auditorium just as trumpets blared the Star Wars Theme. Katz stood on center stage and words flashed behind her as she spoke.

Katz: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...


It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has
been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from
their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters
led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote
ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker,
has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of
space...

The scene skips to InuYasha riding a giant lizard in the snowstorm.

InuYasha: *Ack! Stupid freezing weather, this ride's too bumpy.*

InuYasha stops the lizard and yells into a walkie talkie

InuYasha: Echo three to echo seven, Han, buddy, do you read?

Naraku: La, la, la. That's my cue? Oh. Yeah. Um. Loud and clear Kid!

InuYasha: I finished my circle, no life readings.

Naraku: There isn't enough life on that ice cube to fill a space pod -teeth chattering- Its cooold I don't care if that's not my line. -is thwaped- I'm going back!

InuYasha: Right, I'll see you shortly, there's a meteorite I want to check out, wont be long.

InuYasha pets the head of his lizard and walks toward the meteorite. But he stops and sniffs.

InuYasha: Do you smell something? Uh oh.

A Shadow falls and a giant monster stands growling. InuYasha reaches for the Tessaiga but is too slow and the monster smacks his face with a huge claw, the monster then turns eating the lizard InuYasha was riding and picks up InuYasha dragging him away.

Meanwhile, Jessi, the fan girl is snapping photographs with huge eyes, she can't believe it! Her dream is real!

Katz: HEY! NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY! AAAAAAANNNND ACTION!

We see InuYasha laying face down in the snow half alive and conscious, he looks and sees Myoga, his Jedi trainer, but wasn't Myoga dead?

InuYasha: Myoga?

Myoga: InuYasha. Go to The Bone Eater's Well.

InuYasha: Bone Eater's Well?

Myoga: Is there an echo here? Yes, the Bone Eater's well, where you will meet Kikyo. She is the Jedi who instructed me.

Myoga hops away landing in a snowdrift disappearing. We then See Naraku by InuYasha's side.

Naraku: InuYasha? Halloo? Inu? Wakey, Wakey, Eggs and Baccy!

InuYasha doesn't respond, Naraku tries shaking him awake, it doesn't work, he them begins thwaping InuYasha upside the head, a little twitch, nothing, though. He grabs a giant mallet that came out of nowhere and smacks InuYasha silly, but nothing. He then looks to the dead lizard.

Naraku: Oh, this is priceless.

Naraku slices open the lizard and drags the smelly fat toward InuYasha cramming it into his face, InuYasha's nose cringes, and InuYasha starts screaming nonsense.

InuYasha: Bone Eater's Well, Myoga, Kikyo, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Gummy Bears, and Telletubies.

Naraku drags InuYasha to the carcass and skins the lizard's 'fur' placing it on InuYasha.

Naraku: Gawd that smells, I hope you appreciate this InuYasha, crazed Director, Mommy.

Katz: Okay, good. CUT! Okay, skip to the swamp scene. InuYasha and Kikyo, your on!

InuYasha begins walking through a bog, cow moos, lion roars, little kid giggles, and crickets are heard. We then cut to a scene where InuYasha and Sango (In a Trash Can Painted with buttons) are sitting across a table from Kikyo who wears green makeup and plastic ears.

InuYasha: Can I see Kikyo NOW?

Kikyo: Patience! Eat! Good Food, Hm? Good? Yoda not far! Why does InuYasha wish to be a YouKai? Hm?

InuYasha: Mostly because of my Brother I suppose.

Kikyo: Ah, your brother, Powerful YouKai was he, Powerful YouKai, Hm.

Meanwhile, Jessi tried not to burst out in laughter as she sunk back into a seat in the back row. Who couldn't laugh at a dead priestess wearing plastic ears and talking with a speech impediment?

InuYasha: Oh Puh-Lease! How do you know my Brother? You don't even know me! Come on Sango, this is a waste of our time!

Sango: Beep, Beep, Meep.

Kikyo: I can't teach you, you have no patience, he is not ready.

InuYasha: Wait, you are Kikyo? I am ready to be a YouKai! I am!

Kikyo: Ready Are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have
I trained YouKai. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A YouKai must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Humph. Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A YouKai craves not these
things! YOU ARE RECKLESS, InuYasha! InuYasha: But I learned so much. I won't fail, I am not afraid!

Kikyo: Oh, you will be, InuYasha, you will.

Scene change, we see the inside of Naraku's ship, Millennium Falcon, they just flew into a cave. We see Miroku, who was spray painted gold, and Naraku.

Miroku: Naraku, if I may venture an opinion-

Naraku: I'm not interested.

Kagome runs in pointing out the window as the ship bangs about and Shippou squeals and meeps.

Kagome: Something's out there, in the cave!

Everyone walks out of the ship after landing, they stomp about, this cave sure doesn't feel like rock, and Shippou jumps about pointing to a shape moving on top of the ship that screamed when Naraku shot it with a laser. Swarms of weird aliens run and fly about them, everyone boards the ship as the ground moves and heaves shaking the ship. As they fly forward a row of sharp teeth looking stalagmites close together, they put on full throttle and speed out of the cave.

Naraku: That was no cave.

Kagome, Miroku, and Shippou in unison looked confused and stared out the window and screamed, that wasn't a cave! That was a mouth! They were in the belly of an alien!

Katz: That was good! CUT! Perfect everyone! Okay, I want to get the Darth Vader scene in here, SESSHOUMARU?!

Sesshoumaru lazily opened an eye and moaned adjusting his facemask walking toward the stage. He stood facing InuYasha and smiled.

Sesshoumaru: Break a Leg, brother.

InuYasha: Thank you?

Sesshoumaru: No, really, break a leg.

Katz: Oi! Lets just start! ACTION!

InuYasha stands face to face with Sesshoumaru, confident, and not afraid.

Sesshoumaru: The force of the Jewel is with you, young Hanyou, but you are not a YouKai.

InuYasha unsheathes Tessaiga and it transforms, Sesshoumaru does the same with his own sword and they begin to battle. Beneath them, the platform sways making it hard to keep balance.

Sesshoumaru: You've learned much.

InuYasha: I'm full of surprises.

Sesshoumaru smacks the sword out of InuYasha's hand sending it flying and InuYasha loses his balance slipping barley hanging on to the platform.

Sesshoumaru: Your destiny lies with me, InuYasha, Myoga knew this to be true.

InuYasha: NO!

InuYasha loses his balance as he stands up and falls backwards. But shoots fifteen feet up hanging from a pipe

Sesshoumaru: Perhaps you aren't as strong as the Emperor thought, yet, you are most impressive in your actions, InuYasha. Myoga taught you well, you control fear, now release anger, only hatred will destroy me, InuYasha. Meanwhile, in the middle of it all, a strongly inked robot walks through.

Bender: Did you see a lobsterman, a one eyed alien, and a red haired kid run by? I need to talk to them.

Sesshoumaru: Wrong scene, Bender.

Bender: oh, thanks.

Sesshoumaru: Where were we?

InuYasha: Here.

InuYasha smirks and lunges just as Sesshoumaru is about to hack off InuYasha's hand, InuYasha slashes off Sesshoumaru's arm.

Katz: DAMMIT InuYasha! THAT'S WRONG! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, AND AGAIN I SAY WROOOOOOONG! Sesshoumaru is supposed to cut off your hand!

InuYasha: WHAT?!

Sesshoumaru: -cough- Um, anyway, InuYasha, I am your brother!

Sesshoumaru shoves InuYasha off the platform making him fall down to the crew below

InuYasha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-sips a soda-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Katz: Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddd CUT! That's a wrap today guys! Good work!

Everyone bows and smiles.

Katz: I'll be back tomorrow guys, we start Filming for Monty Python!

Everyone leaves the auditorium just as Jessi runs in looking around she shrugs and follows down the hall.

Jessi: InuYasha! MIROKU! EVERYONE!