The Inu Crew's Messed Up Movie!
Such An Asshole x3
Directed By Katz-Sama

Katz: Authors Note: If you are really disturbed by cursing, I'd suggest you not read today's script.

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Katz ran in the door cracking up and fell on Sesshoumaru's shoulder then fell off rolling on the floor dropping her CD player.

InuYasha: What's her problem?

Kagome puts the headphones and also dropped laughing. InuYasha stared wide- eyed, Sesshoumaru sighed and poked Katz with a pole, Miroku also put his ear to the headphones, and he too tried not to break down laughing but failed. Shippou put his ear to the other headphone and his eyes grew big as he scooted away. Rin listened and tugged on Sesshoumaru's robes.

Rin: Sesshoumaru, what's a Bio-degradable Styrofoam burger? And what are Nuclear Fucking weapons?

Sesshoumaru sighed and listened to the song

Sesshoumaru: This sounds like everyone I know. Especially InuYasha and Naraku.

Naraku and InuYasha each took an earphone and listened.

InuYasha: I could've sworn this describes you Naraku.

Naraku: What is this?

Katz finally sat up and put the CD into the stereo system and began to sing to the song.

Katz: Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know. I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no) no way (uh-uh) No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense (oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole) I use public toilets and piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, While handicapped people make handicapped faces. I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)

Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado, hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...

(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole!

I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) A S-S H-O L-E Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom Soooooooo I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!

At the end of the song, Katz was standing on stage on her knees with the microphone. Miroku had stuffed Shippou's head into the seats, InuYasha and Naraku were arguing and calling each other names. Rin was asking Sesshoumaru what Nuclear fucking weapons were, Sango and Kagome were in tear laughing.

Kagome: Hey, instead of a movie, lets do this song!

Katz: Good idea! Everyone! Take a script and an instrument!

InuYasha smiled slightly, he liked this song. Shippou didn't understand it, and Sesshoumaru was irritated by Rin's curiosity.

InuYasha: He's the world's biggest asshole. EVERYONE! A-S-S-H-O-L-E!

Miroku: I take it you like this song.

Katz: Places!

The scene begins with Sesshoumaru in the back of the stage while playing a guitar, and Kagome in center stage narrating the first part.

Kagome: Folks, I'd like to sing a song about my companions. About me, about you, about the way our demon and human hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know, and we don't wanna know.

Sesshoumaru begins to sing the next part barley looking up from the guitar.

Sesshoumaru: I'm just a regular YouKai with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob.

Miroku: I like football and porno and books about war. I've got an average hut with a nice dirt floor.

Sesshoumaru: My servant and my land, my kid and my moon scar. My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar! But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no) no way (uh-uh) No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense! (oh yeah) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I walk really slow in the escape lane, While people behind me are going insane.

Everyone: I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)

InuYasha: I use public toilets and piss on the seat, (everyone scoots away) I walk around in the summertime whining "How about this heat?"

Everyone: I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Naraku: Sometimes I stand in handicapped places, While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

Everyone: I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Miroku: Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

Naraku, InuYasha, Sesshoumaru: NAAAAH!

Everyone: I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sesshoumaru: Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a two headed dragon, blazing eyes, hot-fuckin'-pink, with emerald scales, and brown baby seals for his breakfast... yeah!

InuYasha: And I'm gonna run around avoiding that dragon doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per meal, suckin' down quarter pound cups of ramen in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah!

Naraku: And when I'm done suckin' down those ramen cups, I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?

Everyone: Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words, nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK?

InuYasha: Kikyo's not dead! She's a clay statue! And when we find a way to bring her back, we're gonna chip out the priestess and she's gonna be pretty pissed off.

Miroku: You know why? You ever jumped in the cold river? Well, multiply that by 15 million times. That's how pissed off the priestess's gonna be. I'm gonna get the priestess and Sango and Kagome and a case of whisky and run...

Sango: Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?

Kagome: Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Sesshoumaru. I thought I was the asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole!

Everyone: I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sesshoumaru: A S-S H-O L-E! Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E! Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay A-thoom A-thoom-thoom, A-thoom-thoom!

Naraku: I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it.

Katz: Wh00t! That was awesome job, guys! Sesshoumaru, nice job on the guitar!

InuYasha: So Naraku admits he's an asshole.

Naraku: Grrr. GET OVER HERE!

InuYasha and Naraku tackle each other and rip at each other's hair.

Sesshoumaru: -pokes- A-S-S-H-O-L-E. Yes you are.

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Katz: Good? Yes x3 I love Dennis Leary and here's my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Inu Crew, and I do not own Dennis Leary. I only own his albums. If you wish to hear the song yourself, either.

A)Watch Comedy Central for Dennis Leary
B) Buy the album 'No Cure For Cancer'
C) Download the mp3 here