Weeping Willow
(revised version)
"Let the rain come down
And wash away my tears"
~"A New Day Has Come", Celine Dion
Chapter 7: What the?
Willow couldn't help but laugh when he shoved the camera into her hand and kissed her forehead.
"Now, take as many pictures as you want." He stepped back and winced as his wings burst through his shoulder blades.
She was instantly taking photos, the shutter clicked open and shut so often, he wondered how on earth she had enough time to advance the film between shots. Folken gazed at her intently and she moved closer, getting more detail in with each shot, she groweled when she got to the last shot on the roll.
"Don't Move!" She dashed back into the house and he couldn't help but smile, 'I don't think I've smiled this much since I was a kid' Folken sighed contentedly.
He'd never seen any one else act like this, with such a fierce passion and determination in an artform. It was quite a turn-on to be the focus of her passion. She came back and he sucked in a sharp breath when she took close photos of his hands, face, mecha arm, and feathers. He could hardly contain himself when she moved slightly closer to capture his teardrop tattoo.
He took the camera from her hands by the strap and set it gently on the grass. He grinned and pulled her into his arms. She doubted for a moment, not able to fully trust her own emotions. But Folken's tightening embrace and the gentle touch of his hands gliding over her skin woke her up like a cold shower. His fingertips felt like burning flames, igniting her senses and burning desire into her.
"Willow, I need you so badly, I can't live without you." Willow shook
her head and pulled away.
"No," She gasped and stared past him, as if he wasn't really there.
All Willow could see was her ex-boyfriend, or rather the sadistic glare of the silver haired boy with blood red eyes. He pinned her up against a wall and pulled a knife from his belt. She screamed.
Folken covered her mouth with his palm and drew back his wings, not wanting to draw attention from the neighbors. "Willow?! What the heck is wrong?" he whispered harshly but got no response other than sobbing screams.
Willow whimpered as he took the knife and held it to her throat.
"You scream one more time and I'll kill you," her ex growled. She sobbed,
pleading with her eyes. He softened for second and as she stared into his
eyes in fear she glimpsed a girl with flaxen curls and big blue eyes, no
more than five years old behind his eyes. The girl gave sob behind his eyes
and the was gone. It startled her and appeared to startle him as well. He
shook his head, regained his composure and resumed his attack with a renewed
surge of energy.
Folken carried the sobbing and whimpering Willow into the house and laid her down on the couch, clearly she was having some kind of vision...
Her ex loomed over her, he took the knife and slid it down to the collar of the blood red dress she was wearing. He smirked and cut all the way through the fabric. He had managed to cut away every bit of her decency and she sobbed uncontrollably, trying to cover herself with her arms. Unfortunately, it didn't work very well.
Folken covered her with a light blanket and brought a cool, wet washcloth to dab at her sweating brow. "Oh, Willow. What are you seeing?" He wondered, wishing he could take the pained look off her troubled face. 'My god what do I do?' You love her. 'Damn, not now, she needs my help.' Folken pushed the thoughts from his mind.
Willow sobbed as her ex ravaged her, bruising her lips, making her cry out in pain, slapping her when she did and smirking devilishly in triumph the entire time. He took the knife and dragged it from her left shoulder to the middle of her right thigh, leaving a deep red gash. She gasped for air as his hands went around her throat, choking her, cutting off her life source. She tried to scream but only released what little air had been left in her lungs in a soft and raspy cry.
Folken saw her lips bruising and gasped in horror as a huge cut spread
from her left shoulder to her right thigh. 'What the hell is happening?
I have to stop this!' Why? 'Because I can't let her die!' He took the blankets
off of her and attempted to stop the blood flow without indecently revealing
her. It succeeded slightly, but wouldn't be enough. Why? 'Because I
can't live with out her dammit!' He noticed her neck getting distinct hand
marks on it as she began to gasp for air. "No. Willow, you can't die on
me!" She stopped breathing and he paniced. "WILLOW! No, not now, not ever.
You can't die! Willow!" Not knowing exactly what to do he put his mouth to
hers and forced air into her lungs, still nothing. " He glared at the hand
marks on her throat and forced another breath to fill her lungs. "Come
on Willow, please don't leave me," he pleaded. She coughed and then slipped
into a calm unconciousness, he had no idea what had just happened.
He lifted her and carried her into the bathroom, her red blood soaking
through his clothes , leaving them damp. He sat her on the counter and braced
her with his left arm. He noticed something that caught the light under chin.
He pulled the thin sliver chain out of her shirt to find a pendant exactly
like his own, a dark blue pendant on a silver chain. He shook his head and
let it fall from his hand. He held up his right hand and willed a thin needle
to emerge from his index finger.
"Sorry, my Weeping Willow, but I can't have you waking up and assuming the worst of me while I try and patch you up." He sighed before gently penetrating the skin on her neck with the needle. He gave her enough of the sedative to make her fall asleep for several hours, hopefully he wouldn't need that long…
He shook so hard he couldn't keep the tears from spilling over his cheeks as he covered her as much as possible but still left the cut visible. He hated the way it stood out brightly against her pale skin, hated how he could see more than tempting amounts of her flesh and felt only fear for her well being. 'I'm not sure what to do about this' You know. 'I cannot love her, look at what trouble I've already brought.' But you do. He dressed her wounds and thought about what he would do now. He couldn't very well leave her on the floor but he didn't like the idea of carrying her rather naked body to her bed. Better to save that for the wedding night . 'No, better to never do it.' He decide to go find her something to wear. He searched through her drawers until he found a white slip. He thought twice about it and then decided it would be the best.
* * *
When Willow woke up she was lying in the hammock in the yard. She sighed
and inhaled the soft smell of the breeze. Breathing so deeply hurt. the action
tore open her cut slightly and she whimpered.
At the sound, Folken looked up from his book and immediately came to
her side.
"What happened?" She asked softly, touching the bandage that went from
her shoulder to her hip. She realized that she wasn't exactly decently clad
and she blushed lightly. 'He must have had too...' her blush deepened.
"Willow, I don't exactly know what happened." He sighed, gently touching
her neck to see how the bruises were progressing. "All I know is we were
standing out here in the yard, I told you that I need to be with you forever
and you started screaming and staring past me as if I wasn't even there."
Willow gasped, remembering what she had seen in full detail. "Oh no," 'not again, I... I can't let myself get this involved with him.' Too late, you love him. She shook her head and cried in pain and embarrassment. 'No I won't let this happen again, not like before...' That was before and this is now. 'History repeats itself.' But he loves you in a way you've never been loved before. 'I thought that Luke loved me like that, and he left.' But he's not Luke and he's not the ex that hurt you either. 'But what if...'
"Willow? What did you see?" He stroked her cheek lightly, wanting to
embrace her but knowing he needed to be careful.
"It was my ex," was all she managed to murmur.
"WHAT? How?! What'd that sonofabitch do to you? I swear if I knew where
to find him I'd kill him right this moment for your honor and sanity!" Folken
seethed.
Willow looked up at him pleadingly, wishing he'd hold her and make
the pain go away. She didn't just want the physical pain to leave, that
she could endure, but the emotional torment that tortured her was enough
to cause her to tremble.
"Folken…" She whispered.
"What is it Willow?"
"Just hold me," she pleaded, tears spilling over her cheeks.
"Oh, my Weeping Willow, please don't cry any more." He wrapped his arms
around her shoulders rather awkwardly, but didn't care as he cradled her
tenderly in his arms. He comforted her like a child woken from a frightening
nightmare, but even more so, as the woman he knew he loved but could never
allow himself to admit to loving.
She sobbed for a while and then fell asleep again. He decided it was
getting late and starting to cool off in the yard so he carried her inside.
He laid her on her bed and decided to just rest next to her for while, but
was soon sleeping soundly next to her.
The next day Willow woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking. Carefully she shifted her position slightly and gazed out the window into the cool morning. It was spring now and the flowers in her window boxes were beginning to brighten up at the prospect of sunny days and visits from local bees. She heard Folken tiptoe up the stairs, trying to keep them from creaking but failing miserably as they groaned in protest to his bulk. She smiled and pretended to be sleeping.
Folken couldn't help the grin that plastered its way across his face. In his arms was a tray full of scrambled eggs, fruit, bread, coffee and juice. He gently opened the door to Willow's bedroom and saw her still, sleeping form. 'Gods she is gorgeous.' he set the tray gently at the foot of her bed and sat next to her so she was facing him.
Willow's heart raced as Folken sat on the edge of her bed, she watched him through half veiled eyes and nearly swooned at how amazing her looked framed by the morning sunlight that streamed in from the window. 'Like a god,' she thought absent mindedly. You love him. 'I know.' He loves you. 'Even though it will only end up hurting him.' Or it could be happy ending.. . 'But it never is and I dare not hope it could be...'
Folken brushed a golden lock from her face, and tucked the soft wave behind her ear. She looked so dazzlingly sexy like this he has having a hard time controlling his emotions. 'She looks like an angel.' You love her. 'Though I cannot let myself.' Too late, you already do and there is no taking it back. 'I know.' She loves you. ' She shouldn't.' But she does, and she's willing to take the risk. 'I don't deserve her love.' Does anyone ever really deserve love? 'I suppose not.' His left hand, gently slid over shoulder, down her arm and to her hip, he let it linger there for a moment before gently tracing the scar that was fading unaturally quickly. From her thigh to her shoulder, he had memorized every inch of the wound. 'I just can't stand to hurt her...' Its not your fault. 'Of course its my fault.' And if it's not? 'Then I still feel guilty. 'He gently cupped her cheek in his palm and she leaned into the touch, sighing lightly.
Willow fought to keep from trembling under his administrations. 'He loves me so much.' She felt tears sting the corners of her eyes in pure joy at the thought. 'I don't deserve someone like him.' She decided it was about time this act was given up and was about to open her eyes when she felt Folken's lips press lightly to the scar on her shoulder and then to her lips. Her eyes flicked open at this and she gave him a short of breath smile. 'Gods how he makes my heart race.'
"Good morning angel." His whispered and pulled back. She wanted to
wrap her arms around his neck and pull him into and embrace but could hardly
even raise her arms. Instead she smiled lazily at him and stretched.
"Morning" she yawned and then gasped, quickly pulling herself back
into slightly curled position. Having pulled the scar tissue too far, she
sucked in breath quickly through her teeth.
Folken had his hand on her shoulder and gently tipped her head up with the other. "Are you okay love?" She nodded. "You should be a bit more careful of that scar." He suggested lamely, this wasn't going like he wanted it too at all. He looked at he sheets, trying to compose his thoughts.
"Is that breakfast I smell?" She offered, having seen the disappointed
look on his face.
His eyes twinkled with merriment and he gently helped her sit up "Breakfast
in bed for the lady that holds my heart in the palm of her hand." She
swooned slightly at his word and he gently put a couple of pillows behind
her back, she leaned back into their softness and smiled up at him.
"Thank you Folken." She murmured, staring in her lap, suddenly extremely
shy.
He set the tray in infront of her and then sat next to her on the
other side of the bed."Your welcome."
She gently lifted the cup of coffee that had an abundance of cream
and chocolate in it and sipped at it lightly as he picked up the other that
had just coffee and milk.
"How's my patient doing?" he asked tentatively.
"I'm okay, just a little shell shocked...." Her voice trailed off
and she took another sip of coffee. There was something she wasn't telling
him, he could feel it.
"Eat up before it gets cold." He motioned to the plates in front
of her and she smiled, shaking her head slightly at the awkwardness of it
all.
Folken's left hip was pressed gently against her right while
they ate and she rested her head on his shoulder occasionally. They ate
in silence, it was slightly unnerving for amount until both realized that
it was a blessing to just be together. When they finished and were just sipping
on their coffee Folken wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her
temple.
"I don't deserve you he whispered lightly." Willow's breath caught
in her throat at his words.
"No, I don't deserve you" She murmured and gazed out the window.
Folken stared at her, half in shock half in amusement. The concept
was so ridiculous he began to laugh.
Willow turned and glared at him questioningly. "What's so funny?"
She found herself smiling, his laugh was so contagious, and it had been
so long since she had genuinely laughed like this that she couldn't help
it.
"Because," he gaspedfor breath, "We don't deserve each other." He
laughed even harder now and she joined him, ignoring the sharp tweak of
pain as her scar was pulled open more.
"But why is it so funny?" She knew but she wanted him to say it...
"Because we need each other," He laughed and then took a deep breath,
calming himself as her laugh slowed. "And I think its safe to say that this
is going to happen whether we think we deserve it or not." She stopped laughing
and stared into his eyes. A slight panic hit her eyes and she leaned heavily
on his shoulder, even breathing lightly was causing pain she found herself
short of breath because she was trying not to stretch the scar too much.
Folken rubbed her back. "Breath love, I know it hurts but you need to breath."
She took a deep breath and let it slide out slowly between her teeth.
"Folken there's something I haven't told you." He nodded lightly and she continued. "This has happened before," she touched the brusies at her neck. She was trembling now and though he wanted to bellow his anger at the one who had caused her this harm he gritted his teeth and listned intently. "And this, too, she traced her fingers over the scar, "Actually twice..." She took a ragged breath and pressed on. "Once, that you know of...that night... though not this bad." A growel resonated from deeping his throat.
"And the other?" He asked stiffly, but with sucha tender look in
his eyes that she knew he was fighting back a flood of emotions.
She sighed and kneeded her hands, as she stared into her lap.
"The other time was like this time, only..." She stopped.
"Only what, Willow? What aren't you telling me?"
"I thought I was in love Folken, and I thought he loved me." She stared out the window, turning her back on him and he saw the droop in her shoulders. "But he left, I thought Luke loved me but he left and now I know he never did."
It still didn't click and he put his hand on her shoulder, "I still don't understand Willow."
"The same thing that happened in the yard yesterday happened at his house when I was junior in highschool. His parents were out of town and we were about to..." She stopped and swallowed thickly. "We nearly slept together, and I don't mean just sleeping." Her face was flushed when she turned back to him, bright red staining her cheeks. "And then it happened I had a vision, but it wasn't like this." Another ragged breath. "This one was at least twice as bad."
Folken closed his eyes tightly trying to take all of it in. "Willow, I'm not angry with you. You have to know that," He tipped her face up to look at him, and noticed that she didn't look into his eyes, but didn't stress it. "I could never be truely angry with you." he whispered now. "But so help me, Willow, if I ever see him.... you will most likely find me tossed into the county jail on murder charges that I will not deny."
She watched a tear slide over his tattoo and she caught it gently on the tip of her finger, "Folken, please don't cry for me," My tears are already spent over this matter. "I can't cry for myself because of him any more; believe me, I've tried." She sighed and looked at the drop on her finger. "Though this tear means more to me than any amount of tears I could ever shed would." She gazed into his eyes for flash second and he gently pulled her tighter into his embrace.
"If it will keep you from weeping I will cry all of your tears for you." He wrapped his arms tenderly around her. 'What if my touch provokes another vision?' He pulled away. "Willow, you have to tell me, what triggered this?" his finger tapped the bandage on her shoulder.
"I think it was the memory combined with the feeling of... lust," rose covered her cheeks again.
'Damn, that blush is so enchanting.' "Do you think it could happen again?" He asked tenderly, knowing what he implied was something more intimate than he could ask her openly or even truely suggest until... He wouldn't dwell on the concept of marriage, soemthing in him ached to spend the rest of his life with her but at the moment it really didn't seem possible. He wouldn't let her support him forever and he had a strange feeling that he would have to take her away from this world, back to Gaea, where he knew peace would finally be restored, away from the memories and the troubles. To the simple living so similar to the Fantasy worlds she dreamed of and wrote about. But he couldn't ask her to give up her home, that would be too much. He knew all to well what it felt like to have planet ripped out from under his feet.
"I don't know." She whispered. "It's only happened when I felt
I was in love... I think it was worse because I truely love you."
He tilted her head up again. "Say that again, I don't think I heard
you," he breathed huskily.
"I don't know..."
"No, the last part."
"I truely love you," she murmured, his gaze pierced through her
and she trembled slightly.
He kissed her gently, so as not to startle her and then drew back.
"I love you with all my heart and soul. Willow, I will never let anyone
hurt you. But you have to trust me." He kissed her again, a bit more heatedly
this time. "And I will break the hold this has on you if its the last thing
I do." He kissed her passionately and she returned his kiss. His tongue slid
gently against hers and then more passionately, not leaving a space in
her mouth unexplored. The fervor was so intese that she nearly collapsed
when he drew back from her. She gently kept him at arms length this time.
"Folken, I love you. You know I do, and nothing less." She took
a ragged breath and then looked into his eyes with such intensity that
he was shocked for momment. "But you cannot kiss me like that again unless
we are married." She laid her head on his chest. "Promise me."
"There is no way I could promise that Willow. And if I could I
would refuse." He gingerly ran his fingers up and down her spine. She shivvered
and moved out of his embrace.
"You don't understand..." Her voice trailed off.
"Then help me understand." He offered wanting to reach out and hold
her.
"You don't know what it's like, Folken." Her voice was flat and
montone. "To have a huge adult sexual world opened up to you when your
that young... It becomes an addiction." She laughed sardonically. "Ironic
isn't it? You'd think it would make a person terrified of sex when its
really quite the opposite."
She turned back to him with a look she had seen in Dilandau's
eyes when he was on the verge of loosing control, one of panic masked with
an insane grin and a shakey laugh. He was frightened at the thought and
suddenly understood a section of Dilandau's insanity that he hadn't before.
The poor boy had been abused, how or when or even in what body Folken didn't
know but it made a strange amount of sense.
"So you see Folken if you kiss me like that again I'll end up doing
something I will regret and I'm afraid I wold not be able to forgive you
or myself for taking advantage of that." Her words drew his attention back
to reality. by
"Then what is okay?" He asked, "Because I don't think I can handle
not touching you until we're married." 'Do I really mean until?' Hell yeah
you do!
"This." She gently kissed him,, her lips skimming his and her tonuge sliding
gently over them as well but not passed them. When she drew back he nodded
and genty nudged her to lean her head on his hsoulder.
"Thank you, love." He kissed the top of her head and lifted her gnetly
into his arms before carrying her down stairs and to the hammock in the yard.
He brought her a glass of water and a bottle of asprin and then let her
sleep away the rest of the morning while he tried to sort out what she had
just revealed to him.
* * *
'Sexual addiction?' The concept was theory that he'd learned about in
his training but it hadn't seemed viable, there were so many unknowns...
And so little proof that would actually be found. Heck, he wouldn't want
it general knowledge if he were in that position but... 'Damn, I wish I'd
paid more attention.' At the time it had disgusted him and he hadn't cared
to even study it. Now he felt himself wanting to understand it completely,
anything to protect her.
He looked at her and wondered, what exactly had she meant? A thought
struck him and he went to grab her lap top from her desk. He came back into
the yard and turned it on, skimming through folders he came acrossed what
he had been looking for. A Folder entitled "private" He looked at her with
a knot in his throat and an ache in his heart.
He opened the file, to his relief none of the documents were photographs.
One down, another to go. He clicked on a document and felt his heart sink,
a story, but not just any story, a romance, and not just any romance, but
smut, pointless mushy hentia smut. He skimmed the document and realized just
how bad this was, it was her writing style, she'd written this... He sighed
and glanced at her, making sure she was still sleeping. 'Gods Willow, I had
no idea...' He shook his head, all throughout the hundereds of documents
were hot and steamy sex scenes, from tender to boardering on abusive. Closing
the file he moved it to the trash bin, and hit empty trash.
'I'm sorry Willow, but this is crazy, I can't let you do this to yourself.'
He closed the laptop and put it back on her desk. She would have to bring
it up with him if she had a problem with it. It would be safer than bringing
it up himself.
A/N: oh boy this one was terribly emotional....... The new parts
of this chapter simply wrote themselves.... please don't flame me over the
issue of smut etc. This is a real addiction that mainy people I know deal
with. I'm not saying that in and of itself it doesn't have a place in the
art of writing but, when it because a sort of drug is when and where this
concept needs our attention.
Thanks To Shadow Kat, that girl is amazing, go check out her stories if
you have a chance, oh and REVIEW!
Feedback: Any sort of constructive criticism is help mainly on my weaknesses. Organization, dialogue, Characterization, Stream of Consciousness, etc. Encouragement is nice as well, but really I'm seeking to grow as a writer. Any literary techniques I can learn are great.
