IDIOT! Oh F***! IthinkIbrokemytoe! Not again.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I (sob) own (sob, sob) nothing (author is bawling her eyes out at this point) from the Lord of the Rings. (Author starts to wail). Why oh why (sob) can't I (sob) own Lotr? (Sob) (Annoying Voice In Author's Head: because somebody else does?)
Author: my disclaimers are a bit weird (as if you hadn't noticed that already).
Annoying Voice In Author's Head: My name is to long, shorten it to AVIAH. That's my initials.
Author: that was odd. On with the story.
"Blood sucking squirrels! Brain sucking llamas! Rabid sparrows! Rabid chipmunks! Killer bunnies! Demonic Pikas!" (Do me and my friends have too much time on our hands or are our imaginations just a little too good?) Kels yelled with her impeccable timing she managed to yell it just as the Riders of Rohan were going past and it certainly caught their attention.
" Kels you are such an idiot!!!" Kelsi groaned.
"Huh?"
"Oh, never mind."
Meanwhile the Riders of Rohan had them surrounded and had in the space of thirty seconds managed to get Gimli to his most stubborn arrogant dwarfiness. (I know that's not a word but whatever).
"Give me your name Horse Master and I will give you mine." The idiot dwarf said.
Eomer (so ugly, author runs away screaming as Kels attacks her) dismounted and said in the most arrogant tone of voice ever (except maybe mine):
" I would cut off your head if it stood but a little higher form the ground." Or something to that effect.
"You would die before your stroke fell!" Legolas and Kelsi snarled.
Kels turned to Kelsi who was glaring bloody murder at Eomer. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you care if Gimli died I mean, you do think he's an arrogant, materialistic bastard who deserves to have his balls cut off with his own axe."
Kelsi looked at her and shrugged. " I'm actually just hoping for an excuse to shoot Eomer." Kelsi smiled sweetly at the scared looks she was getting from Aragorn, Gimli (that probably had something to do with the axe to balls contact mentioned earlier) and Eomer.
Kels gave her that look; you know the one that says, "Do it and you will know the true meaning of pain".
Kelsi sighed and put her arrow away. Eomer sighed with relief. Meanwhile Aragorn had managed to get Legolas to put his bow away.
Eomer babbled then called forward two horses.
"How the hell do you expect five people to ride two horses?" Kelsi asked this idiot.
He sighed and called forward two more horses that had conveniently appeared at just that moment.
Kelsi smiled at Kels and the both swung into the saddle with easy grace of years of practice (major exaggeration). Kelsi on a palomino and Kels on a chestnut mare. (Sorry Kels I don't know what breed your horse is and I don't remember what you said it looked like).
Gimli and Legolas got on the other brown horse and Aragorn on the gray one. (I think that I got that right sorry if I didn't).
They rode over to the pile of burning carcasses. And a frustrated Aragorn kicked a helmet.
"OH F***! IthinkIbrokemytoe!!!" He yelled.
Kelsi and Kels literally fell off their horses they were laughing so hard.
Aragorn meanwhile had gotten over the toe problem and was tracking the hobbits. Right into Fangorn forest.
"Are we actually going in there?" Kels asked.
"Yes."
"Oh goody! Blood sucking squirrels! Brain sucking llamas! Rabid sparrows! Rabid chipmunks! Killer bunnies! Demonic picas!" Kels yelled, causing everyone to wince in pain from the volume of her voice.
" Not again." Kelsi whispered banging her head against a tree trunk.
Author: wow that was my longest ever chapter (and probably my weirdest ever chapter to be honest). Sorry for the mild character bashing, I couldn't resist. And Kels please don't hurt me for what I said about Eomer, we might not agree about his looks but at least we agree about Legolas's (and Orlando Blooms).
;)
Please review me and as you know flame me and die (you know the usual).
Until next time.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I (sob) own (sob, sob) nothing (author is bawling her eyes out at this point) from the Lord of the Rings. (Author starts to wail). Why oh why (sob) can't I (sob) own Lotr? (Sob) (Annoying Voice In Author's Head: because somebody else does?)
Author: my disclaimers are a bit weird (as if you hadn't noticed that already).
Annoying Voice In Author's Head: My name is to long, shorten it to AVIAH. That's my initials.
Author: that was odd. On with the story.
"Blood sucking squirrels! Brain sucking llamas! Rabid sparrows! Rabid chipmunks! Killer bunnies! Demonic Pikas!" (Do me and my friends have too much time on our hands or are our imaginations just a little too good?) Kels yelled with her impeccable timing she managed to yell it just as the Riders of Rohan were going past and it certainly caught their attention.
" Kels you are such an idiot!!!" Kelsi groaned.
"Huh?"
"Oh, never mind."
Meanwhile the Riders of Rohan had them surrounded and had in the space of thirty seconds managed to get Gimli to his most stubborn arrogant dwarfiness. (I know that's not a word but whatever).
"Give me your name Horse Master and I will give you mine." The idiot dwarf said.
Eomer (so ugly, author runs away screaming as Kels attacks her) dismounted and said in the most arrogant tone of voice ever (except maybe mine):
" I would cut off your head if it stood but a little higher form the ground." Or something to that effect.
"You would die before your stroke fell!" Legolas and Kelsi snarled.
Kels turned to Kelsi who was glaring bloody murder at Eomer. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you care if Gimli died I mean, you do think he's an arrogant, materialistic bastard who deserves to have his balls cut off with his own axe."
Kelsi looked at her and shrugged. " I'm actually just hoping for an excuse to shoot Eomer." Kelsi smiled sweetly at the scared looks she was getting from Aragorn, Gimli (that probably had something to do with the axe to balls contact mentioned earlier) and Eomer.
Kels gave her that look; you know the one that says, "Do it and you will know the true meaning of pain".
Kelsi sighed and put her arrow away. Eomer sighed with relief. Meanwhile Aragorn had managed to get Legolas to put his bow away.
Eomer babbled then called forward two horses.
"How the hell do you expect five people to ride two horses?" Kelsi asked this idiot.
He sighed and called forward two more horses that had conveniently appeared at just that moment.
Kelsi smiled at Kels and the both swung into the saddle with easy grace of years of practice (major exaggeration). Kelsi on a palomino and Kels on a chestnut mare. (Sorry Kels I don't know what breed your horse is and I don't remember what you said it looked like).
Gimli and Legolas got on the other brown horse and Aragorn on the gray one. (I think that I got that right sorry if I didn't).
They rode over to the pile of burning carcasses. And a frustrated Aragorn kicked a helmet.
"OH F***! IthinkIbrokemytoe!!!" He yelled.
Kelsi and Kels literally fell off their horses they were laughing so hard.
Aragorn meanwhile had gotten over the toe problem and was tracking the hobbits. Right into Fangorn forest.
"Are we actually going in there?" Kels asked.
"Yes."
"Oh goody! Blood sucking squirrels! Brain sucking llamas! Rabid sparrows! Rabid chipmunks! Killer bunnies! Demonic picas!" Kels yelled, causing everyone to wince in pain from the volume of her voice.
" Not again." Kelsi whispered banging her head against a tree trunk.
Author: wow that was my longest ever chapter (and probably my weirdest ever chapter to be honest). Sorry for the mild character bashing, I couldn't resist. And Kels please don't hurt me for what I said about Eomer, we might not agree about his looks but at least we agree about Legolas's (and Orlando Blooms).
;)
Please review me and as you know flame me and die (you know the usual).
Until next time.
