Chapter 5
Hermione awoke the next morning and sat up. Glancing around the room, she checked every corner, and much to her sadness, she was alone. Hermione pouted a bit. Remembering the day before, she felt a sort of sadness grow in her. She had really hurt the poor man. And what did he do? Nothing. He sat there and took her cruel beatings, not saying a thing, not crying out, just letting her beat him.
I You're a sick kid Hermione, you know that right?/I "Oh shut up." I That's it, start fighting with yourself. That's a good way to get attention… or the mental help you desperately need./I Hermione groaned and fell backwards onto her pillows. "What's wrong with you Hermione? You used to be such a smart girl. You used to have everything all planned out and going according to plan. What happened?" She sighed and waited for a logical answer to come to her question. I Your parents died you dip-stick, that's what happened. And one of the two people you thought you hated the most in the world seems care about you. But no, don't worry, your life is just peachy. /I
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Weeks had come and gone since Hermione's stay in the Hospital Wing. She had become even more shy than she was before, and her grades slipped little-by-little during the weeks that past. Ron and Harry had noticed the changes in her almost immediately.
"Hey Harry?" Ron's voice was soft and sulky. "Any idea why Hermione's so… upset and moody and un-Hermione-like?" Harry shrugged and picked up a piece of toast, "I don't know. I've tried everything to cheer her up or act normal, but nothing's working." He sighed, "Come on, we've got Quidditch practice in a couple minutes."
As the two boys left the hall, munching on toast and talking about the up-coming game, Harry suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, dropped his toast, and stared at the steps.
Hermione was laying at the bottom of the stairs. Her black robes were torn and covered in a thick red liquid. There were cuts on Hermione's wrists and deep purple bruises were starting to form on her wrists and neck. Ron ran full speed towards the Hospital Wing and got Madam Pomfrey. By the time Ron got back, a crowd had formed around the two Gryffindor's; and people were pointing and whispering about what had happened.
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"Come on dear. Wake up now." Madam Pomfrey's gentle voice made Hermione stir slightly. "Come on now, you're all healed up. It's time to wake and tell me what happened."
Hermione groaned and rolled over. She really wasn't all that interested in telling anyone anything yet. IGods woman, leave me alone!/I Hermione opened her eyes slowly and looked at her wrists. It was true, there wasn't a scratch or bruise in sight. I Damn, she did it. I knew I wouldn't get away with it, not here anyway. /I
"Ok. You listen. I talk. Then I'm leaving. Got it?" It was more of a statement that a question, and one that took the Medi-witch completely off guard. "I tried to kill myself. Don't ask me the reasons, because I won't tell. The point is, I didn't really want to live, so leave it there. If you're going to expel me, fine, I don't care anymore. Do what you wish." Hermione's eyes were deep and glossy. Her voice had been mono-toned and took a matter-of-fact tone to it.
Madam Pomfrey nodded slightly, still obviously upset that she had just been told to do something by a student. "You have a visitor, by the way, Miss Granger. What, prey tell, would you like me to tell him?"
Hermione glared at the older witch, "I don't want to talk to Harry or Ron, so tell them to mind their own fucking business."
The witch, furious now, swept out of the room, muttered something to the figure behind the curtain, and strode off in a huff.
Hermione rolled over, so she wasn't facing the curtain. Peace and quiet, that's all she wanted. She wanted to be alone.
A hand was placed on her shoulder. The touch was soft and gently, as if it were touching something so valuable, it would break. Another hand went to Hermione's face, and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her cheek. Lingering, the hand traced soft circles where the hair had been. Hermione turned her head so she could see whom the hands belonged to.
Severus Snape was standing at her bedside, a look of sorrow, rage, and confusion on his face. "Why?" She could tell his voice was shaking and he was completely un-hinged.
I Hermione you fucking idiot! What did you do?/I The thoughts came to her mind faster than she thought possibly. She never knew she could do this to someone. She never thought someone would be hurt to see her go. She never thought… and that was the problem.
Tears flooded Hermione's eyes and a whimper of pain came from her lips. She thought Snape was going to slap her or tell her to 'stop whimpering you silly girl'. Then again, she didn't think much lately.
The tall man knelt down beside her bed, took her right hand in his own two, and looked her strait in the eyes. "Hermione, why? Why do you want to hurt the people who love you? I know it was my fault the last time you were here, I made you hit me, I made you attack me, I made you so upset that you had to stay here for a long time. That was my fault and I wish that I had never done it. I can't stand seeing one of Hogwarts' finest students in ruins like this. I can't, and I won't." His eyes burned into hers. The look made Hermione shiver and close her eyes to keep the tears from falling again.
"Hermione, open your eyes and look at me." Snape's voice cooed her from her thoughts and she opened her eyes ever so slowly. "Hermione, I need you to get better. I need you to never do this again. I need you." Desperation, despair, and desire swept through the Potion Master's veins. "I need you." He repeated, never taking his eyes off the girl.
Hermione could only nod. Her entire body felt weak and limp. Her heart was pounding and the blood was rushing to her ears. She heard what he said, saw his lips move, the look in his eyes, and heard the tone of his silky voice, but Hermione couldn't understand what he was saying.
II'm loved, and I didn't know it. I'm loved, and I couldn't handle it. Dear Merlin, I'm loved… by Severus Snape./I
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Author's Notes:
Have I mentioned yet how much I hate school and the end-of-term exams that accompany it? Because I do. I've been fighting with my stupid exams for the past week or so and by this time next week, I will be a free woman… for 3 weeks. Anyway, those three glorious weeks are going to be spent writing my little hear out. So, thankies for your patience and on with my little notes…
AnnabelleElizabeth: warm & tingly? ya sure? maybe you'd better turn the heat down in yer house and wake whatever part of your body that's asleep up. there, see? no longer warm and tingly are ya? =P
Evening Star: Yes ma'am. *writes more* Oh, by the time you read this, I will have read your story and reviewed if my computer lets me.
Musicbox: awww, tankies! *hangs my 5 stars on a mantle and shows them off* Lookie, me gots some stars! I always knew I was brilliant! (j/k) thanks a lot!
