Before Megumi knew it, the gates of the dojo were before her. She stopped and took a deep breath.
Kei said, "Might as well get it over with," and knocked, before she was ready.
It was Yahiko who opened it, but a strange, closed-faced Yahiko, who said in a flat voice, "You can go inside," and turned away.
Kei gave her a look, as if to say, What kind of people are these? and went into the house. Megumi stayed out in the yard and hurried after the young boy.
"Yahiko? I wanted to tell you--"
Yahiko's voice was rough and hard. "You don't hafta tell me, okay? Sano already did. You're leaving. Bye, then." He turned away and stalked around the corner of the dojo.
Megumi's hand dropped. "What--what was that about?"
Kaoru had come up beside her. "He's upset. He has been ever since Sano came by this morning. He's had so many people leave him, you know--his father, his mother, Kenshin--"
"Kenshin came back."
"Yahiko didn't know that when he left."
Megumi closed her eyes. "Kaoru . . . I don't know how to explain this."
"He's your brother," Kaoru said steadily. "He's all you have left. He wants to make a home with you. Megumi, you don't have to explain it to us. We understand."
"Not Yahiko."
"Oh, even he understands. That doesn't mean he's not upset."
"And what about you?"
Kaoru dropped her eyes to the dusty yard. "It doesn't mean I'm not upset either," she said in a muffled voice. "I feel like I'm never going to see you again."
"Would that be so bad?"
Kaoru's head came up, eyes narrowed. "You know it would, and don't try to deny it, Takani Megumi."
Warmth coiled around Megumi's heart. As much as she fought with Kaoru, seventy-five percent of it was play on both sides. Not always the same seventy-five percent, but . . . "I'll visit," she said. "I will."
Kaoru sighed. "You say that now, but Aizu is so far away. And you'll get there, and you'll be helping out with your brother's practice, and you'll be busy meeting new people, and someday you'll get married--"
Megumi broke in. "I'm not going to get married, Kaoru."
The younger woman's eyes were very canny. "Is it because of Sano?" she asked softly.
Megumi's mouth fell open, and it was several moments before she could collect herself to ask in incredulous tones, "Did Kenshin tell you?" Although it didn't sound like something that Kenshin would do . . .
But Kaoru was shaking her head. "Oh, no. You two are terrible at keeping a secret." She reconsidered. "Well--Sano's terrible. You're actually pretty good. In any case, the first warning sign was when he stopped teasing you. After that, it didn't take much to put it together."
Megumi was flabbergasted. "Wait a minute. Kaoru, you concluded that Sano and I were lovers because he wasn't flirting with me anymore?"
"That's about it."
Megumi threw her hands in the air. "Kaoru--"
"Hai?"
"That is backwards!"
"Well, it's you two, after all." Kaoru giggled. "Really, Megumi, don't look so shocked. We're your friends. We notice things like that. If it's any comfort, I don't think anyone outside the dojo knows." She sighed. "I guess that's done with now, though."
"Yes," Megumi said in a subdued voice.
"Kei doesn't know, does he?"
"For heaven's sake, Kaoru, I haven't even told him about Takeda Kanryuu. What makes you think I'll tell him I'm sleeping with a gambler?"
"You haven't told him--"
Megumi clamped her hand over Kaoru's mouth to cut off the screech. "Shh!"
"Mmf mm mfmf."
"What?"
Kaoru peeled Megumi's hand off her mouth. "You should tell him."
"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin had materialized at their elbows. "Is something wrong? I heard you shout."
"Nothing," Megumi said.
At the same time, Kaoru said, "There is--Megumi hasn't told Kei about Kanryuu yet."
Megumi made an exasperated noise. "Kaoru, one more word and I'm going to sew your lips shut."
Kenshin, however, was regarding Megumi with troubled eyes. "Megumi-dono--"
Now it was Megumi's turn to drop her eyes. "I don't want to tell him," she said. "The whole episode was so shameful--"
Kaoru was all earnestness. "But that's why you need to tell him--because these things come back, you know--"
Kenshin's face was mute agreement. If anyone would know, he would.
Kaoru turned to him. "Kenshin, help me convince her--please--"
Kenshin said in his quiet way, "Megumi, I'll say this and then I'll be silent. Your past is a part of you, and it always will be. What you choose to do with it is up to you."
Kaoru, who had obviously hoped Kenshin would order Megumi to tell her brother, scowled. Megumi scowled too, but for a different reason. It was just like Kenshin to leave the choice to her own sense of right and wrong. Damned rurouni.
There was a knock on the gates, and Kenshin went to answer it. Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan spotted their Megneesan at once, and rushed over to her.
"Sano-niisan said you're leaving--"
"Megneesan leaving--"
"He's just playing, isn't he? You're not really leaving, are you?"
Genzai-sensei had followed them, and now said, "Girls, we talked about this. Megumi-san's been looking for her family for a long time, and--"
Ayame-chan wailed, "But we want her to stay!"
Megumi gazed helplessly at the forlorn faces in front of her. "Girls--"
Suzume-chan wrapped her chubby arms around Megumi's knees. "Not go," she said fiercely.
"Suzume-chan!"
Megumi almost overbalanced before she was able to peel Suzume off her legs. "Suzume-chan--"
Tears wobbled in the little girl's enormous dark eyes.
Megumi sighed and took her hand. "Suzume-chan, come sit with me. Ayame-chan, you too."
Genzai-sensei started to follow them, but Megumi motioned him away. She wanted to talk to the girls alone.
Suzume-chan annexed her lap immediately, climbing into it and snuggling into her arms the way she liked to do. To counteract that a little, Megumi cuddled Ayame-chan close to her side and kept her arm around her, stroking her hair gently. It had only been a few months, but she loved these girls with a ferocity that surprised her sometimes. She'd been playmate, confidante, arbiter, peacemaker, and teacher. Gods, she was going to miss them.
How could she explain this?
"Ayame-chan," she said. "Suzume-chan. Remember how I told you that I didn't know if any of my family was still alive?"
Two reluctant nods.
"I've been missing them all this time. Think how it would be if you two lost each other for a long, long time."
The girls thought it over, looking at each other. Ayame-chan said slowly, "That would be bad."
"It has been bad. It's been very bad. I've missed having a family, and people who love me."
Suzume sat up. "We love Megneesan!"
"I know you do, chibi-chan," Megumi soothed. "I love you too. But it's different with people who really are your family. Don't you love your sister and your ojiisan differently than you love me?"
Suzume put her head against Megumi's shoulder. "No."
Suzume was too young to understand, Megumi told herself, and abandoned that. "I've also missed having my own home. I like living at the clinic, but I'm just borrowing that from your ojiisan. My brother lives in the house I grew up in, and I miss that too--" Not really . . . she missed the sense of it, the knowledge of it being her own home, rather than the house itself.
"It's not that I want to leave you--" A slight scuffing sound caught her attention, and she looked up. Sano was standing against the tree, his arms crossed over his chest and a flat, blank look on his face as he stared at the dirt. Yahiko was sitting by his feet, leaning back against the tree, clutching his precious shinai with white knuckles.
She continued more slowly, "Or anyone here in Tokyo. It's just that I want to have my family again, and have my home again. But to do that, I have to go back to Aizu. Do you understand?"
Ayame-chan managed to nod, but Suzume-chan burst into tears. "Want Megneesan to sta-a-a-a-y," she cried between hiccuping wails.
There was just no way to explain it to her, Megumi thought, rocking her gently and making soothing sounds. So she didn't even try.
